In my congregation I am currently teaching an adult Sunday school class each week. This year the focus has been the Old Testament. I have enjoyed the assignment more than I thought I would. While we were covering the "children's bible stories" like Noah and Jonah, I really enjoyed them. But looking ahead I was terrified about the Isaiah lessons. I don't read a lot of symbolic stuff well, and so much of his writing was Messianic or symbolic in some way. I worried that I would prove myself a fraud of a teacher once we got to that book.
Well, I'm nearly done with 5 weeks of Isaiah lessons. I may very well be a fraud, but I have learned a lot. Mostly I learned just how important Isaiah's words are to the world today--he wrote for our time often, and nearly always it was to prophecy about the Savior's doings and promises in the last days.
One week we studied the imagery Isaiah uses to teach us of Christ. Breaking it down like that was comforting and filled me a new level of love for Isaiah--and the Savior.
The next week the lesson focused on the qualities of Jesus Christ, insomuch that we need to learn of Him and try to be like Him. Isaiah love the Lord. He must have known Him, else how could he teach us so clearly.
There are other lessons coming yet, but overall I think this has helped me to learn that while I might at first balk at an assignment I receive, if I do my best in fulfilling it, I am blessed beyond my ability--and loved through it all. And really, there isn't much more I could ask for in that vein.
Sunday, October 28, 2018
Sunday, October 21, 2018
#52 Stories--Story #51
For some reason, I am not seeing the first two #52 stories posts I made more than a year ago. Since I missed a few Sundays this month, I'd like to close out the month with a couple of "maverick topic" posts, to fill the gap.
In the October General Conference earlier this month, President Russell M. Nelson invited the sisters of our church to participate in a 10 social media fast--to leave the social media platforms and focus on what was real, what mattered, and see what we could learn from the experiment.
I did a 7 day fast earlier this summer, and found that I missed wishing people a happy birthday--as Facebook will remind me of birthdays. I missed a nephew's last minute elopement/marriage in the park because they only announced it on Facebook. But I also missed the negativity--especially the politically centered stuff that makes me crazy. I missed time tuned out from my family, friends and loved ones and from reality. I found I had more patience--even with myself. I had more time--without the fillers of Facebook or Instagram--because I wasn't filling my time, I was choosing to use it instead.
This time was a little different. I have been working on my own social media Kindness Campaign this year. Each day, since the first of January, I have posted a photo or quote or thought that encourages kindness knowing that at the end of the year I would create a little book with these little images as a record of my own thoughts and efforts this year to show more kindness. It is a daily reminder to me of what I want to be--and what I try to be each day. The daily reminders have helped me, and I have had lovely friends mention that they enjoy the little uplifting posts too.
Being off IG and FB, I missed that daily reminder. I pre-posted 10 quotes so I'd meet my 365 goal, but it didn't feel the same. when I do it daily, I find I spend the time to think of what quote I want to use--each day. The time spent thinking about it is as helpful to my quest as the posting of them. I missed that without the daily visit to IG.
I also missed the public support, sharing, encouraging, uplifting and ministering that can happen when good people reach out to help and comfort others who share their struggles and triumphs on Facebook or Instagram.
A very dear friend lost her brother the night I began my social media fast. I know she and her sister posted photos and feelings and fears those first few days as they tried to process and grapple with the new normal they would face with his little family. I missed being there "virtually" for her and for them. I still communicated via text or phone that week, but sometimes it is comforting to scroll through a news feed and reread the comments or prayers of those who love you and know you are suffering.
Overall, I think the "goodness" or "badness" of social media is how we use it. This year has taught me how powerful it can be for good, if that is how I choose to use it. And I DO! I choose to use it for good. I want to share my love of Jesus Christ, His Gospel, and what joy it brings me with those I "virtually" associate with on the world wide web. It might be just one small thing, but it is one more good thing that otherwise wouldn't be there if I didn't do it.
Joseph Smith once said "Happiness is the design and object of our existence and will be the end thereof, if we pursue the path that leads to it; and that path is virtue, uprightness, faithfulness, holiness,and keeping the commandments of God." If I can spread a little of that kind of happiness and the path that leads to it, even on social media, I think those platforms rise a little bit from the degradation and wickedness they would otherwise inhabit. And even Jesus had to go where the sinners were to reach them. And aren't we all sinners?
In the October General Conference earlier this month, President Russell M. Nelson invited the sisters of our church to participate in a 10 social media fast--to leave the social media platforms and focus on what was real, what mattered, and see what we could learn from the experiment.
I did a 7 day fast earlier this summer, and found that I missed wishing people a happy birthday--as Facebook will remind me of birthdays. I missed a nephew's last minute elopement/marriage in the park because they only announced it on Facebook. But I also missed the negativity--especially the politically centered stuff that makes me crazy. I missed time tuned out from my family, friends and loved ones and from reality. I found I had more patience--even with myself. I had more time--without the fillers of Facebook or Instagram--because I wasn't filling my time, I was choosing to use it instead.
This time was a little different. I have been working on my own social media Kindness Campaign this year. Each day, since the first of January, I have posted a photo or quote or thought that encourages kindness knowing that at the end of the year I would create a little book with these little images as a record of my own thoughts and efforts this year to show more kindness. It is a daily reminder to me of what I want to be--and what I try to be each day. The daily reminders have helped me, and I have had lovely friends mention that they enjoy the little uplifting posts too.
Being off IG and FB, I missed that daily reminder. I pre-posted 10 quotes so I'd meet my 365 goal, but it didn't feel the same. when I do it daily, I find I spend the time to think of what quote I want to use--each day. The time spent thinking about it is as helpful to my quest as the posting of them. I missed that without the daily visit to IG.
I also missed the public support, sharing, encouraging, uplifting and ministering that can happen when good people reach out to help and comfort others who share their struggles and triumphs on Facebook or Instagram.
A very dear friend lost her brother the night I began my social media fast. I know she and her sister posted photos and feelings and fears those first few days as they tried to process and grapple with the new normal they would face with his little family. I missed being there "virtually" for her and for them. I still communicated via text or phone that week, but sometimes it is comforting to scroll through a news feed and reread the comments or prayers of those who love you and know you are suffering.
Overall, I think the "goodness" or "badness" of social media is how we use it. This year has taught me how powerful it can be for good, if that is how I choose to use it. And I DO! I choose to use it for good. I want to share my love of Jesus Christ, His Gospel, and what joy it brings me with those I "virtually" associate with on the world wide web. It might be just one small thing, but it is one more good thing that otherwise wouldn't be there if I didn't do it.
Joseph Smith once said "Happiness is the design and object of our existence and will be the end thereof, if we pursue the path that leads to it; and that path is virtue, uprightness, faithfulness, holiness,and keeping the commandments of God." If I can spread a little of that kind of happiness and the path that leads to it, even on social media, I think those platforms rise a little bit from the degradation and wickedness they would otherwise inhabit. And even Jesus had to go where the sinners were to reach them. And aren't we all sinners?
Sunday, October 7, 2018
#52 Stories--Story #50
Do you feel your beliefs and values are shared by most people you are surrounded with each day? Or do your beliefs set you apart from those around you? What is that like?
Generally I feel like most people around me each day believe in a similar vein as I do. For the most part, many are members of my faith--coworkers are also fellow members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints--that is just a fact of where I live at the moment. But not everyone is as converted as I feel I am to the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
At my new job at the dealership there are many who no longer practice our faith in their daily lives. But I think they generally believe it--it is just too much work to live it. That is okay. I try to live in a way that is accepting of those around me but I try to live what I believe and in that attempt I try to be an example of happiness that comes from living the restore gospel of Jesus Christ. I never want to have other feel I am pressuring them to live as I believe, but I certainly encourage other to live what they believe. There is room for all of us.
I hope those around me feel the love I know our Heavenly Father has for them. That by my acceptance and support they will feel His love and acceptance. That is the hope, though I may not live it perfectly yet.
Generally I feel like most people around me each day believe in a similar vein as I do. For the most part, many are members of my faith--coworkers are also fellow members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints--that is just a fact of where I live at the moment. But not everyone is as converted as I feel I am to the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
At my new job at the dealership there are many who no longer practice our faith in their daily lives. But I think they generally believe it--it is just too much work to live it. That is okay. I try to live in a way that is accepting of those around me but I try to live what I believe and in that attempt I try to be an example of happiness that comes from living the restore gospel of Jesus Christ. I never want to have other feel I am pressuring them to live as I believe, but I certainly encourage other to live what they believe. There is room for all of us.
I hope those around me feel the love I know our Heavenly Father has for them. That by my acceptance and support they will feel His love and acceptance. That is the hope, though I may not live it perfectly yet.
Sunday, September 30, 2018
#52 Stories--Story #49
What were your best years in school and why? Did you have a great circle of friends, wonderful teachers, curriculum that interested you, involvement in clubs, or teams?
I had a great time in junior high and high school. I know so many people HATED junior high., but I really had a great time there. And high school was a lot of fun too.
I feel like I made several friends, but only a small group of close friends. The majority if those friends were friends from church. These are the ones that we did things together after school hours. These were the ones that threw and attended parties, and had activities around town and throughout the stake.
I feel lucky that I enjoyed most all my teachers. Again, I had a small group of truly influential and mentoring teachers, both in junior high and high school. I especially felt close to Mr. Maya the HS drama teacher, Mr. Robb, the choir teacher, and Mrs. Goodrich, my US History teacher and Mrs. Serigstad, our economics teacher. I was grateful for so many with a wide variety of backgrounds and outlooks on the world. I learned a great deal from them all. And enjoyed an association with some wonderful characters.
I had a great time in junior high and high school. I know so many people HATED junior high., but I really had a great time there. And high school was a lot of fun too.
I feel like I made several friends, but only a small group of close friends. The majority if those friends were friends from church. These are the ones that we did things together after school hours. These were the ones that threw and attended parties, and had activities around town and throughout the stake.
I feel lucky that I enjoyed most all my teachers. Again, I had a small group of truly influential and mentoring teachers, both in junior high and high school. I especially felt close to Mr. Maya the HS drama teacher, Mr. Robb, the choir teacher, and Mrs. Goodrich, my US History teacher and Mrs. Serigstad, our economics teacher. I was grateful for so many with a wide variety of backgrounds and outlooks on the world. I learned a great deal from them all. And enjoyed an association with some wonderful characters.
Sunday, September 23, 2018
#52 Stories--Story # 48
How many of your elementary school teachers can you remember? Can you put them in order? Did you have a favorite? A least favorite?
I remember Mrs. Owzarzak was my first grade teacher. I recall that she had some sons that were a few years older than me and also went to El Roble school.
I can't remember my second grade teacher's name, at least not right now.
In third grade I had Mrs. Bach and Mr. Miller for math. Mrs Bach was short and round and seemingly the meanest teacher ever. But it was the summer after her class that I was able to visit Washington DC --with the meanest teacher ever--and another 50 or so kids. Crazy. She must not have been too bad after all.
Mrs. Midtgaard was my fourth grade teacher and I liked her immensely. She spelled her last name with two As, just like we did too. Her kids participated in 4H also--though in the Rucker 4H club instead of our own Sunset 4H. I knew they had animals and lived in the country. And she used a really COOL green felt tip pen to grade our papers.
In fifth and sixth grade I moved to Brownell Fundamental school. It was similar to charter schools today, but I left the kids I rode the bus with for the years prior and had known all the time I lived in Gilroy. I don't recall the teacher's names that I had there, but I remember the school itself was not a good fit for me socially. I tried, but didn't ever feel like I fit in. I felt the kids felt and truly believed they were better than any other school. I knew too many people at my old school that were good people to believe that could possibly be true.
Instead of staying at Brownell for 7th and 8th grade, I remember begging my mom to let me go to South Valley Junior High. Once I knew that would be the case, I was told by the Brownell kids that I'd get beat up by the Mexican kids every day. I knew that wasn't going to be the case, as many many friends from my old school--and now many kids I knew from across town now--would be attending SVJH. I really enjoyed my two years there and it made me feel VERY confident as I started at GHS when it was time for 9th grade.
I remember Mrs. Owzarzak was my first grade teacher. I recall that she had some sons that were a few years older than me and also went to El Roble school.
I can't remember my second grade teacher's name, at least not right now.
In third grade I had Mrs. Bach and Mr. Miller for math. Mrs Bach was short and round and seemingly the meanest teacher ever. But it was the summer after her class that I was able to visit Washington DC --with the meanest teacher ever--and another 50 or so kids. Crazy. She must not have been too bad after all.
Mrs. Midtgaard was my fourth grade teacher and I liked her immensely. She spelled her last name with two As, just like we did too. Her kids participated in 4H also--though in the Rucker 4H club instead of our own Sunset 4H. I knew they had animals and lived in the country. And she used a really COOL green felt tip pen to grade our papers.
In fifth and sixth grade I moved to Brownell Fundamental school. It was similar to charter schools today, but I left the kids I rode the bus with for the years prior and had known all the time I lived in Gilroy. I don't recall the teacher's names that I had there, but I remember the school itself was not a good fit for me socially. I tried, but didn't ever feel like I fit in. I felt the kids felt and truly believed they were better than any other school. I knew too many people at my old school that were good people to believe that could possibly be true.
Instead of staying at Brownell for 7th and 8th grade, I remember begging my mom to let me go to South Valley Junior High. Once I knew that would be the case, I was told by the Brownell kids that I'd get beat up by the Mexican kids every day. I knew that wasn't going to be the case, as many many friends from my old school--and now many kids I knew from across town now--would be attending SVJH. I really enjoyed my two years there and it made me feel VERY confident as I started at GHS when it was time for 9th grade.
Sunday, September 16, 2018
#52 Stories--Story #47
What was your first introduction to formal education--preschool, kindergarten, homeschooling? What do you remember about those first few years?
I believe I participated in a preschool when we lived in Sunnyvale. I don't remember much of it. But I believe I attended at a local community park area. It seems to me that much must have happened that I do not recall.
I must have had a kindergarten year as well in Sunnyvale. The only think I remember about hat experience is a day when we got to learn about grocery stores and "pretend" to be shoppers. The strongest memory in that episode was the choice I had to pick a box of Lucky Charms cereal--which was not allowed in our home. I felt so empowered to choose that otherwise contraband breakfast food. Who knows what other lessons sank in quite so deep!
We moved to Gilroy when I was in 1st grade and I began elementary school at El Roble school, with Mrs. Owzarzak as my teacher. I remember having a turn to bring the classroom guinea pigs home for a weekend--and they DIED! That was the worst to me as a kid. The cage had been placed on the front porch, just in front of the kitchen window and the sunshine in the late afternoon or evening that weekend was too hot and too strong for their little bodies. They overheated and died. I was sure I'd never be allowed to have another class-pet come home with me again.
I believe I participated in a preschool when we lived in Sunnyvale. I don't remember much of it. But I believe I attended at a local community park area. It seems to me that much must have happened that I do not recall.
I must have had a kindergarten year as well in Sunnyvale. The only think I remember about hat experience is a day when we got to learn about grocery stores and "pretend" to be shoppers. The strongest memory in that episode was the choice I had to pick a box of Lucky Charms cereal--which was not allowed in our home. I felt so empowered to choose that otherwise contraband breakfast food. Who knows what other lessons sank in quite so deep!
We moved to Gilroy when I was in 1st grade and I began elementary school at El Roble school, with Mrs. Owzarzak as my teacher. I remember having a turn to bring the classroom guinea pigs home for a weekend--and they DIED! That was the worst to me as a kid. The cage had been placed on the front porch, just in front of the kitchen window and the sunshine in the late afternoon or evening that weekend was too hot and too strong for their little bodies. They overheated and died. I was sure I'd never be allowed to have another class-pet come home with me again.
Sunday, September 9, 2018
#52 Stories--Story #46
Describe your family legacy regarding education. Do you come from a long line of scholars? Were you the first to earn a degree? Are your forging a new legacy with your own children?
My family growing up intimated that education was very important. But neither of my parents were college graduates. I don't remember a time growing up that I was not expected to attend somewhere for further education after high school. That was just something that they expected of us. They supported my sister and me in achieving this goal financially and as much emotionally as they could as well.
I was the first to graduate from college in my own family, but certainly not the last. My sister was quick behind me--after having earned a certificate of completion from a therapeutic massage school about the time she graduated from high school too. She then went on to earn a graduate degree as we were adults. I contemplated a masters degree, and go back to thinking of that goal every once in a while, but so far it has only been thinking.
As for my own children, I expected them both to attend college--there was never an "if" in the statements of their academic goals as they grew up. However, I know that not everyone is cut out for formal university education. Any continuing education--trade school, military, or college of any kind--would have been acceptable. I certainly am grateful that they each chose their fields of study--which both need four years degrees or more.
My family growing up intimated that education was very important. But neither of my parents were college graduates. I don't remember a time growing up that I was not expected to attend somewhere for further education after high school. That was just something that they expected of us. They supported my sister and me in achieving this goal financially and as much emotionally as they could as well.
I was the first to graduate from college in my own family, but certainly not the last. My sister was quick behind me--after having earned a certificate of completion from a therapeutic massage school about the time she graduated from high school too. She then went on to earn a graduate degree as we were adults. I contemplated a masters degree, and go back to thinking of that goal every once in a while, but so far it has only been thinking.
As for my own children, I expected them both to attend college--there was never an "if" in the statements of their academic goals as they grew up. However, I know that not everyone is cut out for formal university education. Any continuing education--trade school, military, or college of any kind--would have been acceptable. I certainly am grateful that they each chose their fields of study--which both need four years degrees or more.
Sunday, August 26, 2018
#52 Stories--Story #45
Have you ever traveled to a place that you would imagine yourself moving to permanently? What did you love about it? What does to offer that can't be found at home?
The first international travel I experienced was to Australia and New Zealand as part of a business travel trip for Genius Golfer. Knowing it w as a wonderful chance to see a part of the world we otherwise might not ever get to see, I jumped at the chance to go there.
Australia--specifically the gold Coast on the eastern coast of Queensland--was a wonderful place, full of wonderful people with exotic and slightly familiar feel to it. I loved it. We visited Brisbane and then flew up to the city of Cairns. It was beautiful, charming and delightful city that was a lovely jumping off spot to see and dive upon the Great Barrier Reef. I found the Australia people warm, inviting and welcoming to outsiders. They were open to others and seemingly self confident enough not to be threatened by the visiting Americans. I felt in love with the people, the accent, and the particulars they espoused.
I remember telling GG that if there ever came a time we could not longer live in America, I'd happily move to Queensland and be happy forever.
The first international travel I experienced was to Australia and New Zealand as part of a business travel trip for Genius Golfer. Knowing it w as a wonderful chance to see a part of the world we otherwise might not ever get to see, I jumped at the chance to go there.
Australia--specifically the gold Coast on the eastern coast of Queensland--was a wonderful place, full of wonderful people with exotic and slightly familiar feel to it. I loved it. We visited Brisbane and then flew up to the city of Cairns. It was beautiful, charming and delightful city that was a lovely jumping off spot to see and dive upon the Great Barrier Reef. I found the Australia people warm, inviting and welcoming to outsiders. They were open to others and seemingly self confident enough not to be threatened by the visiting Americans. I felt in love with the people, the accent, and the particulars they espoused.
I remember telling GG that if there ever came a time we could not longer live in America, I'd happily move to Queensland and be happy forever.
Sunday, August 19, 2018
#52 Stories--Story #44
Are there any notable tourist destinations within easy driving distance form your home that you've never visited--even though people travel there from around the world?
YES! I chide my self regularly that I have never been the the Arches National Park or to Moab or run the river our of Green River. I have visited Zion National Park and Kolob Canyon, both rather briefly.
I have been many places and enjoyed most of them, but I still have the slick rocks of Moab and the formations in Arches on my bucket list.
YES! I chide my self regularly that I have never been the the Arches National Park or to Moab or run the river our of Green River. I have visited Zion National Park and Kolob Canyon, both rather briefly.
I have been many places and enjoyed most of them, but I still have the slick rocks of Moab and the formations in Arches on my bucket list.
Sunday, August 12, 2018
#52 Stories-Story #43
Do you have one special vacation spot that you return to again and again? How did you find it? What draws you back? What do you love about it?
My favorite place to visit--at least one that I have visited more than once--is Disneyland in Anaheim, CA. Genius Golfer and I visited it first together on newlyweds on our honeymoon. It is a place that holds my idea of fun, cleanliness, family, and magic.
For our twentieth anniversary, GG surprised me with a pair of annual passes. We repeated that year long celebration for our 25th. This past year we were able to visit 5 or 6 times in the celebration of our anniversary annual passes.
When The Boy asked me not long ago what it was that made me like visiting Disneyland so much as an adult. Trying to help him understand, I told him it's a place where optimism rules the land; where streets, attractions, and outward appearances are clean & tidy; and where "family" is catered to and celebrated no matter what it looks like. It's an imagined alternate reality that purposely reflects a simpler time. I still feel all those things when I visit. All of those reasons make me feel the "magic" of this place each time I get to visit. And, really, can you ever really outgrow that kind of magic??!! I hope I never do.
My favorite place to visit--at least one that I have visited more than once--is Disneyland in Anaheim, CA. Genius Golfer and I visited it first together on newlyweds on our honeymoon. It is a place that holds my idea of fun, cleanliness, family, and magic.
For our twentieth anniversary, GG surprised me with a pair of annual passes. We repeated that year long celebration for our 25th. This past year we were able to visit 5 or 6 times in the celebration of our anniversary annual passes.
When The Boy asked me not long ago what it was that made me like visiting Disneyland so much as an adult. Trying to help him understand, I told him it's a place where optimism rules the land; where streets, attractions, and outward appearances are clean & tidy; and where "family" is catered to and celebrated no matter what it looks like. It's an imagined alternate reality that purposely reflects a simpler time. I still feel all those things when I visit. All of those reasons make me feel the "magic" of this place each time I get to visit. And, really, can you ever really outgrow that kind of magic??!! I hope I never do.
Sunday, August 5, 2018
#52 Stories--Story #42
What were your most common childhood vacations like--road trips, visits to Grandma's house, camping trips, weekends at the lake of beach?
As a child our family "vacations" were generally a road trip to see my grandparents in Washington state or a visit back to my parent's high school reunions. They were friends with classmates in each others' classes so they regarded those reunions for either a reunion for both. They always has a good time. We also sometimes took these trips and included a visit to cousins that we only saw every year or so.
Our family included my dad's parents for most of my growing up years, and because of their infirmities, we really didn't vacation that much. I recall one big trip to Disneyland with another family in our ward, but I don't remember much besides the trip probably cost too much and took too long away from home and work for my parents--especially my dad. I know he didn't like crowds, or expenses, or too much silliness. He still doesn't.
On many occasions, we did spend weekends at drag strips not too far from home where my dad would be racing. I liked those because we were often left to our own devices--I collected coins from under the bleachers, spark plugs from the pits area, rode bikes all over, and then returned to the camper or trailer for lunch or dinner. I think we learned to make our own fun on these kinds of weekends.
On our visits to my grandparents' house I remember visiting his animals with my grandpa and learning to sprinkle salt on the huge banana slugs and watching them dissolve. I loved hearing my grandpa talk to his dogs or horses or cattle. But it was a place that I never felt really comfortable. The water was always bad and smelly, with bath tub stained with rust or other minerals. My grandma made me a little nervous because she was a little unsteady mentally. I knew she loved us, but I wasn't ever sure she knew us apart when we were all there together.
For fun things--Frontier Village, beach, or lakes, etc--we did a lot of those things with friends and their families. Sometimes my sister and I would go with Mom and meet our cousins from Palo Alto and do fun things with them. The only camping I remember doing was at Girls Camp--but it was decidedly not normal camping.
As a child our family "vacations" were generally a road trip to see my grandparents in Washington state or a visit back to my parent's high school reunions. They were friends with classmates in each others' classes so they regarded those reunions for either a reunion for both. They always has a good time. We also sometimes took these trips and included a visit to cousins that we only saw every year or so.
Our family included my dad's parents for most of my growing up years, and because of their infirmities, we really didn't vacation that much. I recall one big trip to Disneyland with another family in our ward, but I don't remember much besides the trip probably cost too much and took too long away from home and work for my parents--especially my dad. I know he didn't like crowds, or expenses, or too much silliness. He still doesn't.
On many occasions, we did spend weekends at drag strips not too far from home where my dad would be racing. I liked those because we were often left to our own devices--I collected coins from under the bleachers, spark plugs from the pits area, rode bikes all over, and then returned to the camper or trailer for lunch or dinner. I think we learned to make our own fun on these kinds of weekends.
On our visits to my grandparents' house I remember visiting his animals with my grandpa and learning to sprinkle salt on the huge banana slugs and watching them dissolve. I loved hearing my grandpa talk to his dogs or horses or cattle. But it was a place that I never felt really comfortable. The water was always bad and smelly, with bath tub stained with rust or other minerals. My grandma made me a little nervous because she was a little unsteady mentally. I knew she loved us, but I wasn't ever sure she knew us apart when we were all there together.
For fun things--Frontier Village, beach, or lakes, etc--we did a lot of those things with friends and their families. Sometimes my sister and I would go with Mom and meet our cousins from Palo Alto and do fun things with them. The only camping I remember doing was at Girls Camp--but it was decidedly not normal camping.
Sunday, July 29, 2018
#52 Stories--Story #41
Of all the times you've moved to a new house, neighborhood, city, state or country, which have had the biggest impact on the rest of your life? In what ways?
I haven't moved that often. I think that is a lucky fact. I moved to my hometown when I was about 6. I don't remember much about the first two homes where my family lived. I remember the tri-toned green shag carpet of the first home and the circus fabric curtains of my room in the first house I lived in until I was three.
In the second house I lived, I recall the kitchen carpet. Yes. It had carpeting in the kitchen. That kitchen carpet once was covered in foamy soapy bubble from the liquid dish soap my dad used in the dishwasher to appease my mom who went to church by herself that Sunday while we stayed home. I'm sure my dad was guilty and trying to do something nice to appease her, but it made SUCH A MESS! I was sent in a frantic rush to the next door neighbor's home to "get help". I think that might be why I remember the kitchen carpet all the more.
My home growing up the majority of my life was my full time home for about a dozen years or so. this was where I learned SO many things. I experienced many things. It was in this home I feel like I came into my self. This is where I will always call home.
From there, I moved to Provo to go to school. I moved several times while I was a student. And the only place that mattered in that era for me was the final apartment at Stadium Terrace. I had many sets of roommates in that apartment. My first pair and the last set were wonderful ladies, who I love to this day.
When Genius Golfer and I got married we lived a short time in his mom’s basement then moved into an apartment that only lasted a semester, then we moved back to her home for awhile again while we saved money to purchase our first home. That was a good time, for the most part. She worked nights, I worked days...we got along quite well and I tried hard to be a good guest as well as a new family member in her home.
Finally GG and I found a home we could afford and scraped all we had together to buy a home. /our first home is out kids’ only home to this point—aside from their living places while they are at school, in the same way I still think of my home growing up. I love the home we created together. It has been the most wonderful place for our children began. They learned everything they needed as children, they gained lifetime friends, and our family gelled.
Recently we built a new home, a future home, and while we visit it and use it as a getaway place, it is a comfortable and beautiful place that we can share with our friends and enjoy. I look froward to the memories that we will make in that home. That will be a wonderful place for me, for us, for our family. I look forward to that.
I haven't moved that often. I think that is a lucky fact. I moved to my hometown when I was about 6. I don't remember much about the first two homes where my family lived. I remember the tri-toned green shag carpet of the first home and the circus fabric curtains of my room in the first house I lived in until I was three.
In the second house I lived, I recall the kitchen carpet. Yes. It had carpeting in the kitchen. That kitchen carpet once was covered in foamy soapy bubble from the liquid dish soap my dad used in the dishwasher to appease my mom who went to church by herself that Sunday while we stayed home. I'm sure my dad was guilty and trying to do something nice to appease her, but it made SUCH A MESS! I was sent in a frantic rush to the next door neighbor's home to "get help". I think that might be why I remember the kitchen carpet all the more.
My home growing up the majority of my life was my full time home for about a dozen years or so. this was where I learned SO many things. I experienced many things. It was in this home I feel like I came into my self. This is where I will always call home.
From there, I moved to Provo to go to school. I moved several times while I was a student. And the only place that mattered in that era for me was the final apartment at Stadium Terrace. I had many sets of roommates in that apartment. My first pair and the last set were wonderful ladies, who I love to this day.
When Genius Golfer and I got married we lived a short time in his mom’s basement then moved into an apartment that only lasted a semester, then we moved back to her home for awhile again while we saved money to purchase our first home. That was a good time, for the most part. She worked nights, I worked days...we got along quite well and I tried hard to be a good guest as well as a new family member in her home.
Finally GG and I found a home we could afford and scraped all we had together to buy a home. /our first home is out kids’ only home to this point—aside from their living places while they are at school, in the same way I still think of my home growing up. I love the home we created together. It has been the most wonderful place for our children began. They learned everything they needed as children, they gained lifetime friends, and our family gelled.
Recently we built a new home, a future home, and while we visit it and use it as a getaway place, it is a comfortable and beautiful place that we can share with our friends and enjoy. I look froward to the memories that we will make in that home. That will be a wonderful place for me, for us, for our family. I look forward to that.
Friday, July 27, 2018
#52 Stories--Story #40
How have you adjusted to life as an empty-nester? What advice do you have for others who are entering this stage of their lives?
We are just barely into this stage of life. And actually, the kids do come in and out of the house yet, but the mostly live in an apartment on their own while they are at school. At first I was really worried. My whole life had revolved around them since their birth. I was able to stay home with them and raised them while Genius golfer provided for us financially. that was a really blessing that he felt strongly that this was a priority.
Just as the adjustment that has to happen when children are added to a family, there is a period of adjustment as they grown up and leave home too. At least when they are born, their needs seem to come gradually--besides the food, clothing, protection that they need from the start. When they leave for other adventures, that seemed to happen much more "all at once".
I remembered my parents telling my that my mom when through a similar feeling of net being needed any more, once my sister and I moved out of the house. However, I also remember how much I needed her guidance, reassurance and encouragement once I was on my own--which isn't really true, if I still needed her for so much, right?
I felt a little useless for a while too. I looked forward to phones calls or texts with a "Mom, how do you .... ?" kinds of questions. Or my favorite: "I just called to chat...". I know my kids have been taught things that will help them to be independent and productive adults. That is what I saw my ultimate job to be as their parent. But I also knew that they'd come into some things in the world that I hadn't prepared them for--and those scared me. But they have proven themselves to be both independent and resilient. When things have come up that they've had to learn the hard way, they seem to make the most of the life lesson and move forward knowing a little better for next time. In some of those life lessons, I am the one learning--patience, most of all--as they learn, grow, and develop in their own time and pace. Sometimes that is frustrating. Sometimes it is terrifying. sometimes that is devastating. But I know that I have prayer on my side as their parent. And an apostle of the Lord once said that "There are few things more powerful than the prayers of a righteous mother." some days I cling as hard to that as I can. Other times that is a just a steady comforting thought.
One thing, separate from my own usefulness, that I worried about as we came into this phase of life was the increased togetherness I would have with GG. I love him, and have we've usually had a good time together, but now it was going to be just us. They kids weren't there to distract us, or divide our attention, or demand our time. Could we stand each other all the time?
Luckily, we found this a time of renewed commitment to our marriage relationship and to our spiritual life together. We committed to a weekly date night--that had kind of fallen away with the growing fmaily's crazy schedules in the past few years. We also tried to find ways to just be together--running errands or doing chores. And one thing I found really enjoyable was having a project to do together. For us it was our house in St. George. We scouted the location. We imagined the design. We planned for the construction. We witnessed the building. We have started to furnish it. We have created reasons to enjoy it together. We are still a ways from having it "done" but those kinds of long term (and high value) plans have helped us work toward a tangible goal together.
Eventually I'd like to do more traveling and seeing the world again with him. I think those kinds of discovery experience we share will strengthen our relationship too. But for now we are looking forward together, working toward united goals, and planning for our future together. And that is a great place to plan to be.
We are just barely into this stage of life. And actually, the kids do come in and out of the house yet, but the mostly live in an apartment on their own while they are at school. At first I was really worried. My whole life had revolved around them since their birth. I was able to stay home with them and raised them while Genius golfer provided for us financially. that was a really blessing that he felt strongly that this was a priority.
Just as the adjustment that has to happen when children are added to a family, there is a period of adjustment as they grown up and leave home too. At least when they are born, their needs seem to come gradually--besides the food, clothing, protection that they need from the start. When they leave for other adventures, that seemed to happen much more "all at once".
I remembered my parents telling my that my mom when through a similar feeling of net being needed any more, once my sister and I moved out of the house. However, I also remember how much I needed her guidance, reassurance and encouragement once I was on my own--which isn't really true, if I still needed her for so much, right?
I felt a little useless for a while too. I looked forward to phones calls or texts with a "Mom, how do you .... ?" kinds of questions. Or my favorite: "I just called to chat...". I know my kids have been taught things that will help them to be independent and productive adults. That is what I saw my ultimate job to be as their parent. But I also knew that they'd come into some things in the world that I hadn't prepared them for--and those scared me. But they have proven themselves to be both independent and resilient. When things have come up that they've had to learn the hard way, they seem to make the most of the life lesson and move forward knowing a little better for next time. In some of those life lessons, I am the one learning--patience, most of all--as they learn, grow, and develop in their own time and pace. Sometimes that is frustrating. Sometimes it is terrifying. sometimes that is devastating. But I know that I have prayer on my side as their parent. And an apostle of the Lord once said that "There are few things more powerful than the prayers of a righteous mother." some days I cling as hard to that as I can. Other times that is a just a steady comforting thought.
One thing, separate from my own usefulness, that I worried about as we came into this phase of life was the increased togetherness I would have with GG. I love him, and have we've usually had a good time together, but now it was going to be just us. They kids weren't there to distract us, or divide our attention, or demand our time. Could we stand each other all the time?
Luckily, we found this a time of renewed commitment to our marriage relationship and to our spiritual life together. We committed to a weekly date night--that had kind of fallen away with the growing fmaily's crazy schedules in the past few years. We also tried to find ways to just be together--running errands or doing chores. And one thing I found really enjoyable was having a project to do together. For us it was our house in St. George. We scouted the location. We imagined the design. We planned for the construction. We witnessed the building. We have started to furnish it. We have created reasons to enjoy it together. We are still a ways from having it "done" but those kinds of long term (and high value) plans have helped us work toward a tangible goal together.
Eventually I'd like to do more traveling and seeing the world again with him. I think those kinds of discovery experience we share will strengthen our relationship too. But for now we are looking forward together, working toward united goals, and planning for our future together. And that is a great place to plan to be.
Sunday, July 8, 2018
#52 Stories--Story #39
When you left your parents' home was it to attend college, pursue a job, or embark on a military or humanitarian service? What was it like to be out on your own for the first time?
I left home to go away to college. My parents took me (and another friend who was also going away to college) and we drove from our hometown in California to Provo Utah to BYU where I attended college. The drive across Nevada is SO boring. My dad had me driving with my friend riding shotgun while he took a nap in the back of the old Dodge van. At one point my dad woke up and asked how fast I was going. Apparently he could tell from the sound the motor was making that I was driving too fast. I was way over the speed limit, but his comment was "Don't get a ticket."
We got to Provo and dropped off the friend, then my parents pulled up to my dorm (U Hall of the Deseret Towers). I was on the top floor in the corner most north east in the building. We looked out right into the side of a ginormous mountain, it seemed. We moved in my stuff and then my parents went with me to the book store where I found the books I needed for the classes I was registered for that first semester. I'm sure my books were a couple hundred dollars. Bu tI remember my dad overhearing the total for another customer in another line nearby. It was many hundreds of dollars--for far fewer books. My dad made some comment about he was glad I wasn't taking those classes!
Then they left. I was left in my dorm room. My parents drove home, just like that. I was on my own and was both excited and scared. I didn't know much about BYU other than it was the church's school and that it was WAY cheaper than UCLA--where I dreamed to go, once upon a time. But mom and dad had just opened their shop only a little more than a year before I left home. They made too much for me to qualify for a PELL grant and my mom was adamant that I NOT take out student loans--one of the MANY brilliant things she has told met o do over the years! So I decided the best bang for the buck (since my parents were footing the bucks) was to choose to attend BYU.
The first year I was there, I didn't have a car. I didn't know my roommate yet. I wasn't exactly sure what I wanted to be when I grew up. And my friends--many from our hometown attended school at BYU--didn't live in the same dorm as me. So, I had to go out of my way to make friends, to find my way, to get around, and figure out my life.
It was a daring adventure--made all the more daring by having a sort-of-boyfriend follow me to Provo for a couple of visits. He tried several times to convince me to quit school and go home to marry him--he knew I'd find a great job, and that we'd be living large before I knew it. He was a moron. But I didn't know that then. He actually came to Provo to convince me to quit school a few times--twice that first year, but a few more in subsequent years--even though I thought I was VERY clear that I was going to stay in school and was way too young to be married and had other plans for my life anyway.
Soon, I came to really enjoy my roommate, LeeAnn--she was from the Sacramento area of California. We ran around with a couple of girls from the floor below us who were both from Littleton, Colorado, Jana and Lisa were good friends. And Jana was always coming up with things to do and places to go and people we needed to meet. Jana got us to do things that we otherwise would never have done.
I made friends on our floor, in our ward, in our FHE group. Just a few at first, but I felt like I had good friends and I could add them to the other friends I knew from home that were all over campus eventually. Between our ward,the dorm, the classes and the people I met through all those people, I had the feeling that I was pretty comfortable there.
Until, I wasn't.
This was before cell phones or free voice over internet calls. If I wanted to talk to my mom or dad--let's face it, it was usually mom--I had to wait until after rates went down after dark and on the weekends. I couldn't afford to call very often or talk for very long. But sometimes that was ll I wanted was to hear their voices and have them tell me I was doing the right thing and I could do it.
Luckily my mom would writ to me each week--a snail mail letter to the mailbox downstairs. Those letters meant the world to me. I knew she was thinking of me, and I knew what was going on at home. That first year wasn't easy, but it was worth it.
I left home to go away to college. My parents took me (and another friend who was also going away to college) and we drove from our hometown in California to Provo Utah to BYU where I attended college. The drive across Nevada is SO boring. My dad had me driving with my friend riding shotgun while he took a nap in the back of the old Dodge van. At one point my dad woke up and asked how fast I was going. Apparently he could tell from the sound the motor was making that I was driving too fast. I was way over the speed limit, but his comment was "Don't get a ticket."
We got to Provo and dropped off the friend, then my parents pulled up to my dorm (U Hall of the Deseret Towers). I was on the top floor in the corner most north east in the building. We looked out right into the side of a ginormous mountain, it seemed. We moved in my stuff and then my parents went with me to the book store where I found the books I needed for the classes I was registered for that first semester. I'm sure my books were a couple hundred dollars. Bu tI remember my dad overhearing the total for another customer in another line nearby. It was many hundreds of dollars--for far fewer books. My dad made some comment about he was glad I wasn't taking those classes!
Then they left. I was left in my dorm room. My parents drove home, just like that. I was on my own and was both excited and scared. I didn't know much about BYU other than it was the church's school and that it was WAY cheaper than UCLA--where I dreamed to go, once upon a time. But mom and dad had just opened their shop only a little more than a year before I left home. They made too much for me to qualify for a PELL grant and my mom was adamant that I NOT take out student loans--one of the MANY brilliant things she has told met o do over the years! So I decided the best bang for the buck (since my parents were footing the bucks) was to choose to attend BYU.
The first year I was there, I didn't have a car. I didn't know my roommate yet. I wasn't exactly sure what I wanted to be when I grew up. And my friends--many from our hometown attended school at BYU--didn't live in the same dorm as me. So, I had to go out of my way to make friends, to find my way, to get around, and figure out my life.
It was a daring adventure--made all the more daring by having a sort-of-boyfriend follow me to Provo for a couple of visits. He tried several times to convince me to quit school and go home to marry him--he knew I'd find a great job, and that we'd be living large before I knew it. He was a moron. But I didn't know that then. He actually came to Provo to convince me to quit school a few times--twice that first year, but a few more in subsequent years--even though I thought I was VERY clear that I was going to stay in school and was way too young to be married and had other plans for my life anyway.
Soon, I came to really enjoy my roommate, LeeAnn--she was from the Sacramento area of California. We ran around with a couple of girls from the floor below us who were both from Littleton, Colorado, Jana and Lisa were good friends. And Jana was always coming up with things to do and places to go and people we needed to meet. Jana got us to do things that we otherwise would never have done.
I made friends on our floor, in our ward, in our FHE group. Just a few at first, but I felt like I had good friends and I could add them to the other friends I knew from home that were all over campus eventually. Between our ward,the dorm, the classes and the people I met through all those people, I had the feeling that I was pretty comfortable there.
Until, I wasn't.
This was before cell phones or free voice over internet calls. If I wanted to talk to my mom or dad--let's face it, it was usually mom--I had to wait until after rates went down after dark and on the weekends. I couldn't afford to call very often or talk for very long. But sometimes that was ll I wanted was to hear their voices and have them tell me I was doing the right thing and I could do it.
Luckily my mom would writ to me each week--a snail mail letter to the mailbox downstairs. Those letters meant the world to me. I knew she was thinking of me, and I knew what was going on at home. That first year wasn't easy, but it was worth it.
Sunday, July 1, 2018
#52 Stories-- Story #38
Which of your birthdays were especially significant to you? When you turned 8, 12, 15, 16, 18, maybe 21? What do you remember about those special days?
I remember a few of my birthdays as I was growing up. I remember turning 8 and getting my own scriptures with my name son the overs, as well as a locking diary. The scriptures were nice, but that diary with a lock!! How cool was that?!?
I recall my 9th birthday because my parents were building a big shop just below the house and the cement flooring was done and the walls were up. It was a huge cavernous building--and for my birthday that year we had a roller skating party in the shop. So cool!!
Becoming 13 I thought was fun because I was an official teenager, but I don't remember much about the day itself.
The next big birthday I remember vividly was when I turned 18. I was working at the fabric store then, and on my birthday my boyfriend at the time brought me a HUGE bouquet of red roses to the store where I was working. The other girls thought that was pretty impressive. I was both impressed and embarrassed--as I am not a big center-of-attention-because-of-gifts kind of person. But it was memorable.
After that, they kind of blur together, but I do recall feeling really lousy about turning 25. Like that was the start of getting old. If I only knew then what old really feels like! HAHAHA
Then I turned 26 just 3 days after The Girl was born, and after that it hasn't mattered about my birthdays as much as the kids' birthdays. I guess that is the way of parenting.
However, I turned 33 and the kids were old enough to realize the "mom had an age". Then I was 33 to them for about 10 years. I thought that was hilarious.
I remember a few of my birthdays as I was growing up. I remember turning 8 and getting my own scriptures with my name son the overs, as well as a locking diary. The scriptures were nice, but that diary with a lock!! How cool was that?!?
I recall my 9th birthday because my parents were building a big shop just below the house and the cement flooring was done and the walls were up. It was a huge cavernous building--and for my birthday that year we had a roller skating party in the shop. So cool!!
Becoming 13 I thought was fun because I was an official teenager, but I don't remember much about the day itself.
The next big birthday I remember vividly was when I turned 18. I was working at the fabric store then, and on my birthday my boyfriend at the time brought me a HUGE bouquet of red roses to the store where I was working. The other girls thought that was pretty impressive. I was both impressed and embarrassed--as I am not a big center-of-attention-because-of-gifts kind of person. But it was memorable.
After that, they kind of blur together, but I do recall feeling really lousy about turning 25. Like that was the start of getting old. If I only knew then what old really feels like! HAHAHA
Then I turned 26 just 3 days after The Girl was born, and after that it hasn't mattered about my birthdays as much as the kids' birthdays. I guess that is the way of parenting.
However, I turned 33 and the kids were old enough to realize the "mom had an age". Then I was 33 to them for about 10 years. I thought that was hilarious.
Sunday, June 24, 2018
#52 Stories--Story # 37
How has society's view of fathers and fatherhood changed throughout your life? What do you think of these changes?
Sadly today's world sees fathers as unnecessary and of little worth more often than not. So many children as being born without a father in their homes--or even in their lives. women think they want to have a baby without a committed partner and technology and medical science can make that happen without too much trouble. Societal norms don't even look think twice any more of unwed mothers raising a baby on their own. In many parts of society men are berated generally, and dismissed as know-nothings or superfluous and they don't even have a chance to participate in a child's life.
Luckily, we know that is not the way it should be, and it isn't the best situation of family life and children specifically. The Church's Proclamation to the World: The Family document clearly defines the need for father and the ideal of a father and mother committed to each other in a covenant marriage with the Lord, thereby establishing families by bearing and raising children together. The roles of mothers and fathers are different but complementary, together making up an equal partnership caring for the needs for their family. That is the ideal. Loving committed parents who love and teach and protect their children.
I feel very blessed to grow up in a family that followed the model fairly well. We weren't perfect, but I knew we were trying and we were better together than we would have been in any combination apart. And as I am raising my own family, I see the wisdom in doing this together with grandparents supporting from the sides and adding their love and counsel to ours as parents for the best possible outcome of our kids.
This proclamation was read by President Gordon B. Hinckley as part of his message at the General Relief Society Meeting held September 23, 1995, in Salt Lake City, Utah.
Sadly today's world sees fathers as unnecessary and of little worth more often than not. So many children as being born without a father in their homes--or even in their lives. women think they want to have a baby without a committed partner and technology and medical science can make that happen without too much trouble. Societal norms don't even look think twice any more of unwed mothers raising a baby on their own. In many parts of society men are berated generally, and dismissed as know-nothings or superfluous and they don't even have a chance to participate in a child's life.
Luckily, we know that is not the way it should be, and it isn't the best situation of family life and children specifically. The Church's Proclamation to the World: The Family document clearly defines the need for father and the ideal of a father and mother committed to each other in a covenant marriage with the Lord, thereby establishing families by bearing and raising children together. The roles of mothers and fathers are different but complementary, together making up an equal partnership caring for the needs for their family. That is the ideal. Loving committed parents who love and teach and protect their children.
I feel very blessed to grow up in a family that followed the model fairly well. We weren't perfect, but I knew we were trying and we were better together than we would have been in any combination apart. And as I am raising my own family, I see the wisdom in doing this together with grandparents supporting from the sides and adding their love and counsel to ours as parents for the best possible outcome of our kids.
THE FAMILY
A PROCLAMATION TO THE WORLD
The First Presidency and Council of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints
WE, THE FIRST PRESIDENCY and the Council of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, solemnly proclaim that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children.
ALL HUMAN BEINGS—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny. Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose.
IN THE PREMORTAL REALM, spirit sons and daughters knew and worshipped God as their Eternal Father and accepted His plan by which His children could obtain a physical body and gain earthly experience to progress toward perfection and ultimately realize their divine destiny as heirs of eternal life. The divine plan of happiness enables family relationships to be perpetuated beyond the grave. Sacred ordinances and covenants available in holy temples make it possible for individuals to return to the presence of God and for families to be united eternally.
THE FIRST COMMANDMENT that God gave to Adam and Eve pertained to their potential for parenthood as husband and wife. We declare that God’s commandment for His children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force. We further declare that God has commanded that the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife.
WE DECLARE the means by which mortal life is created to be divinely appointed. We affirm the sanctity of life and of its importance in God’s eternal plan.
HUSBAND AND WIFE have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. “Children are an heritage of the Lord” (Psalm 127:3). Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations.
THE FAMILY is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity. Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities. By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners. Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation. Extended families should lend support when needed.
WE WARN that individuals who violate covenants of chastity, who abuse spouse or offspring, or who fail to fulfill family responsibilities will one day stand accountable before God. Further, we warn that the disintegration of the family will bring upon individuals, communities, and nations the calamities foretold by ancient and modern prophets.
WE CALL UPON responsible citizens and officers of government everywhere to promote those measures designed to maintain and strengthen the family as the fundamental unit of society.
Sunday, June 17, 2018
#52 Stories--Story # 36
What is something you never understood or appreciated about your father until much later in life?
I know my dad would tell us of the poverty he knew as a child and the idea of not having what you needed unless you got it for yourself. That was hard to understand as a child and young person because my life was always pretty blessed. We had what we needed--but not always what we wanted--and that was probably for the best. We learned to make do with that we had sometimes or work and save and plan for whatever else we wanted. Nothing was supposedly given to us--even though I see now that so much was! He told us those heart breaking kind of stories of his childhood on the railroad or living in little homes without electricity or water, and it made our lives seem pretty cushy. I never felt like we we missing much. We had opportunities poured out on us as we grew up--raising animals, riding bikes, using our imagination, exploring new places--that helped us see how blessed we were.
As a child myself I didn't see the wisdom in him telling us those stories though. It just made his childhood sound sad and pretty unhappy.
He has talked in the past before about his parents and what they were like--especially before they were converted to the gospel of Jesus Christ. My gramps was not a happy man when he drank, and my gram was a scared young woman, just older than a girl herself. I don't think joining the church was an immediate turn about for them, but it gave them a new way of seeing their lives and their family. Then finally when they did get active and were living the gospel fully, there were many changes in his parents that he didn't get the benefit of as a child himself. I look at this now and see how much more the gospel meant to him that my sister and I had the "after" portion of the life he had with parents who lived the gospel. We weren't perfect at it, but I can see now how much that meant to him.
I know my dad would tell us of the poverty he knew as a child and the idea of not having what you needed unless you got it for yourself. That was hard to understand as a child and young person because my life was always pretty blessed. We had what we needed--but not always what we wanted--and that was probably for the best. We learned to make do with that we had sometimes or work and save and plan for whatever else we wanted. Nothing was supposedly given to us--even though I see now that so much was! He told us those heart breaking kind of stories of his childhood on the railroad or living in little homes without electricity or water, and it made our lives seem pretty cushy. I never felt like we we missing much. We had opportunities poured out on us as we grew up--raising animals, riding bikes, using our imagination, exploring new places--that helped us see how blessed we were.
As a child myself I didn't see the wisdom in him telling us those stories though. It just made his childhood sound sad and pretty unhappy.
He has talked in the past before about his parents and what they were like--especially before they were converted to the gospel of Jesus Christ. My gramps was not a happy man when he drank, and my gram was a scared young woman, just older than a girl herself. I don't think joining the church was an immediate turn about for them, but it gave them a new way of seeing their lives and their family. Then finally when they did get active and were living the gospel fully, there were many changes in his parents that he didn't get the benefit of as a child himself. I look at this now and see how much more the gospel meant to him that my sister and I had the "after" portion of the life he had with parents who lived the gospel. We weren't perfect at it, but I can see now how much that meant to him.
Sunday, June 10, 2018
#52 Stories--Story #35
How do you strive to emulate your father's example?
My dad was and continues to be a great example to me in many ways. I try to hard to help my kids see that I love their dad the way my dad helped me see that he loved my mom. Sometimes that was embarrassing to us as we were growing up--but it is such a foundation piece of my feelings that my family was secure and safe. I knew they loved each other by the way they talked to each other, and the way they shared the burdens of life together. They worked hard together and set goals together. and they definitely were affectionate to each other. Ewww, gross--sometimes when we were early in our youth--It was a little too much. Now, I look back and know that seeing that regularly was something I never had to worry about as my friends' parents were experiencing divorce or breakups. That just wasn't something that was going to happen to my parents.
Dad worked hard and never seemed to be done with things--in the best way. He always wanted to make things better and improve the situation with things. Projects would get completed, but there was always something more that he could do and he did it. I try ti see how to make things better as I go along in my work and at home and try to follow that example. I know his work ethic echoes in my head each day I have something I need to do--and I know I can do hard things because he showed me how.
He always taught me to look around for what needs to be done. I know this began out of frustration that I wouldn't do the things that needed doing until I was asked to do them. He wanted me--and my sister--to see those things for ourselves and just do it because it needed to be done. Now I do the same things with my own kids and even the younger employees I work with in my job. I don't have the same influence with those coworkers hat I did with my kids though. But my kids are good employees
for other people because they have learned "Grandpa's way of doing things".
My dad was and continues to be a great example to me in many ways. I try to hard to help my kids see that I love their dad the way my dad helped me see that he loved my mom. Sometimes that was embarrassing to us as we were growing up--but it is such a foundation piece of my feelings that my family was secure and safe. I knew they loved each other by the way they talked to each other, and the way they shared the burdens of life together. They worked hard together and set goals together. and they definitely were affectionate to each other. Ewww, gross--sometimes when we were early in our youth--It was a little too much. Now, I look back and know that seeing that regularly was something I never had to worry about as my friends' parents were experiencing divorce or breakups. That just wasn't something that was going to happen to my parents.
Dad worked hard and never seemed to be done with things--in the best way. He always wanted to make things better and improve the situation with things. Projects would get completed, but there was always something more that he could do and he did it. I try ti see how to make things better as I go along in my work and at home and try to follow that example. I know his work ethic echoes in my head each day I have something I need to do--and I know I can do hard things because he showed me how.
He always taught me to look around for what needs to be done. I know this began out of frustration that I wouldn't do the things that needed doing until I was asked to do them. He wanted me--and my sister--to see those things for ourselves and just do it because it needed to be done. Now I do the same things with my own kids and even the younger employees I work with in my job. I don't have the same influence with those coworkers hat I did with my kids though. But my kids are good employees
for other people because they have learned "Grandpa's way of doing things".
Sunday, June 3, 2018
#52 Stories--Story # 34
What are some ways you and your father are inherently alike--physical traits, temperament, personality, talents, interests?
I'm not sure we have many physical characteristics that are similar. We both squint when we smile--and that goes deep through the family. We both have dark hair naturally. Mine has gotten darker as I got older and his is finally turning a silver gray now that he's over seventy. Bu that is probably the extent of the physical similarities.
As far as other traits we have a lot more in common. We have a similar sense of humor to one another. I remember many many nights sitting at the dinner table laughing over something we saw on Saturday Night Live or a movie we enjoyed and could get to laughing so hard that you couldn't understand any thing we were saying--but we knew what the other one meant in all that. I felt bad for my mom because she never seemed to be in on the joke. But she laughed with us---probably because we were so silly as we laughed ourselves hoarse. We find a lot of the same kind of things funny--Far Side, Roadrunner & Coyote--all the Looney Toones, really--cartoons, SNL sketches from the 80s, ridiculous movies--could make us laugh and laugh until my face hurt.
My dad's temperament has mellowed with age I think but I know that I have a similar temperament so far as patience goes as he did when we were growing up. I hope I can mellow about it all someday too. Unruly little children used to make him crazy, and I find my teeth on edge over similar situations. Maybe this one has less to do with his temperament than with how unruly some kids are.
He is pretty self-deprecating--and I find myself doing that more and more too. I know some of his comes from the idea that he never thought himself very book smart--thus he always wanted us to do well in school and a university education was expected of me and my sister. I find I am more self-deprecating for the joke of it. I can make fun of myself easily and prefer that to making others feel less than for the sake of a joke.
My dad has incredible mechanical talent. He just seems to understand how things go together and how they work. I remember watching him when he was disassembling or reassembling motor parts and wondering how he knew to do that just that way. I know it is partly because he has been doing it for a long time, but also because his mind understands and comprehends how things go together and why they work. I wish I was better about this particular talent, but I'm still quite a newb about most things mechanically.
Dad also has an amazing memory for specifics. he might not remember someone's name from Walla Walla or Burbank, or the Sunnyvale days, but he'll recall the vehicle that person drove and little things about the cars. But that is what he enjoys and it's always easier to recall those kind of things when you enjoy them that much.
I know he doesn't think he is very knowledgeable about the Gospel, but I always knew he felt things that were true. We do have similar reactions to feeling the Spirit. We both tend to get a little emotional when tender spiritual things are brought up. We both feel the Spirit probably more than we hear him. I think that is a good quality to share--even if it is sometimes less than convenient when it happens in a group of people or during a speaking assignment.
I'm not sure we have many physical characteristics that are similar. We both squint when we smile--and that goes deep through the family. We both have dark hair naturally. Mine has gotten darker as I got older and his is finally turning a silver gray now that he's over seventy. Bu that is probably the extent of the physical similarities.
As far as other traits we have a lot more in common. We have a similar sense of humor to one another. I remember many many nights sitting at the dinner table laughing over something we saw on Saturday Night Live or a movie we enjoyed and could get to laughing so hard that you couldn't understand any thing we were saying--but we knew what the other one meant in all that. I felt bad for my mom because she never seemed to be in on the joke. But she laughed with us---probably because we were so silly as we laughed ourselves hoarse. We find a lot of the same kind of things funny--Far Side, Roadrunner & Coyote--all the Looney Toones, really--cartoons, SNL sketches from the 80s, ridiculous movies--could make us laugh and laugh until my face hurt.
My dad's temperament has mellowed with age I think but I know that I have a similar temperament so far as patience goes as he did when we were growing up. I hope I can mellow about it all someday too. Unruly little children used to make him crazy, and I find my teeth on edge over similar situations. Maybe this one has less to do with his temperament than with how unruly some kids are.
He is pretty self-deprecating--and I find myself doing that more and more too. I know some of his comes from the idea that he never thought himself very book smart--thus he always wanted us to do well in school and a university education was expected of me and my sister. I find I am more self-deprecating for the joke of it. I can make fun of myself easily and prefer that to making others feel less than for the sake of a joke.
My dad has incredible mechanical talent. He just seems to understand how things go together and how they work. I remember watching him when he was disassembling or reassembling motor parts and wondering how he knew to do that just that way. I know it is partly because he has been doing it for a long time, but also because his mind understands and comprehends how things go together and why they work. I wish I was better about this particular talent, but I'm still quite a newb about most things mechanically.
Dad also has an amazing memory for specifics. he might not remember someone's name from Walla Walla or Burbank, or the Sunnyvale days, but he'll recall the vehicle that person drove and little things about the cars. But that is what he enjoys and it's always easier to recall those kind of things when you enjoy them that much.
I know he doesn't think he is very knowledgeable about the Gospel, but I always knew he felt things that were true. We do have similar reactions to feeling the Spirit. We both tend to get a little emotional when tender spiritual things are brought up. We both feel the Spirit probably more than we hear him. I think that is a good quality to share--even if it is sometimes less than convenient when it happens in a group of people or during a speaking assignment.
Sunday, May 27, 2018
#52 Stories--Story # 33
Who are some other important mother figures who have been influential in your life?
I feel like I was very lucky to have many women who modeled wonderful examples of womanhood and motherhood to me as I was growing up. I'm luckier yet to call them my friends now.
I had a spattering of marvelous young women leaders--Irene Day, Diane Sefton, Toni Zamarron, Cindy Anderson, Sister Nordstrom, Lucia Cooper, and others--I'm sure more names will come to me as the days go by this month. I spent many weeks of girls camps, Wednesday activities, and Sundays being guided by these wonderful ladies. They showed me how to be a woman of faith, a woman who trusts her Heavenly Father, who knows Jesus Christ and chooses to follow Him. They helped me develop a testimony of my own. I'd have to include my mom in this group too, because she spent much of these years with me in some supportive role. She's the best example of all.
I also had some wonderful teachers elsewhere in my life. Stacy Thacker was a stand out Sunday School teacher as a young teen. I knew that she knew the Gospel was true and she tried her hardest each week to get us to understand that same truth.
Teddy Goodrich and Nancy Serigstad were female high school teachers that meant a lot to me. I learned more than just textbook material from them. They made me want to be a teacher someday.
I also had some neighbors and 4H leaders that showed me leaderships styles in the community and wider world. MaryLou Rawitser was our goat leader. I'm sure she had better things to do with her time, but she was there with us each weekend the goats were showed. Georgene Abbott was another 4H leader who taught me perseverance and stick-to-it-ive-ness. Diane Scariot showed me another view of hard work and care of family. Kathy Larsen was a mom who had fun with her family and supported her girls in whatever they had going on.
Then I had a group of women who were friends' moms--who I maybe didn't have the same kind of relationship as their child, but I felt keenly their love for me. Shari Hoggan, Jan Porter, Diane Sefton and Irene Day--fell in this category too, and Claudia Kambish, to name a few off the top of my head. I knew they loved their kids--and counted me in that group more often than not.
I have been greatly blessed by so many wonderful women as I was growing up. I am not sure they all understand how important and valuable they are to me. I hope I have done my best to make them proud of me and that my own kids will have women just like them in their lives to teach them similar lessons.
I feel like I was very lucky to have many women who modeled wonderful examples of womanhood and motherhood to me as I was growing up. I'm luckier yet to call them my friends now.
I had a spattering of marvelous young women leaders--Irene Day, Diane Sefton, Toni Zamarron, Cindy Anderson, Sister Nordstrom, Lucia Cooper, and others--I'm sure more names will come to me as the days go by this month. I spent many weeks of girls camps, Wednesday activities, and Sundays being guided by these wonderful ladies. They showed me how to be a woman of faith, a woman who trusts her Heavenly Father, who knows Jesus Christ and chooses to follow Him. They helped me develop a testimony of my own. I'd have to include my mom in this group too, because she spent much of these years with me in some supportive role. She's the best example of all.
I also had some wonderful teachers elsewhere in my life. Stacy Thacker was a stand out Sunday School teacher as a young teen. I knew that she knew the Gospel was true and she tried her hardest each week to get us to understand that same truth.
Teddy Goodrich and Nancy Serigstad were female high school teachers that meant a lot to me. I learned more than just textbook material from them. They made me want to be a teacher someday.
I also had some neighbors and 4H leaders that showed me leaderships styles in the community and wider world. MaryLou Rawitser was our goat leader. I'm sure she had better things to do with her time, but she was there with us each weekend the goats were showed. Georgene Abbott was another 4H leader who taught me perseverance and stick-to-it-ive-ness. Diane Scariot showed me another view of hard work and care of family. Kathy Larsen was a mom who had fun with her family and supported her girls in whatever they had going on.
Then I had a group of women who were friends' moms--who I maybe didn't have the same kind of relationship as their child, but I felt keenly their love for me. Shari Hoggan, Jan Porter, Diane Sefton and Irene Day--fell in this category too, and Claudia Kambish, to name a few off the top of my head. I knew they loved their kids--and counted me in that group more often than not.
I have been greatly blessed by so many wonderful women as I was growing up. I am not sure they all understand how important and valuable they are to me. I hope I have done my best to make them proud of me and that my own kids will have women just like them in their lives to teach them similar lessons.
Sunday, May 20, 2018
#52 Stories--Story #32
How have challenges and hardship shaped the women in your family? In what ways have trials formed characters?
My mom didn't tell us much about her growing up life--I mean we knew she was a good student and had good friends. She was more athletic than I ever was, but my sister shared that interest. I knew she was a hard worker and everything she was able to do or have was pretty much because she worked for it. Her family growing up was poor and transitory--they moved a LOT when she was in school. Her mother had mental illness from the time she was just starting to understand the bigger world. She was forced to deal with some pretty grown-up and heavy issues early in her life. Her dad drank and was absentee in their home life a lot. Her parents argued a lot. She was anxious to make her own way in the world and it wasn't long after she graduated from high school that she moved out and soon moved away.
Her character reflects all of that. She did her best to protect us from the transitory nature of her growing up by living in the same place while we were in school. I graduated from high school with kids I had been in first grade with--in some cases. I have solid roots in my hometown. She taught us to work hard and be productive. We were strongly discouraged from wasting time and becoming undependable. She and my dad still are in love--it was even embarrassing sometimes as a teenager--but I am so grateful for that stability in my family of origin. They showed us what a good family life was like.
My dad's mother, my Gram, lived with us from the time I was about 7 or 8. I saw in her a woman who was a survivor--sometimes against her will. She survived a tough life as a young mother and wife. My gramps wasn't a happy man when he drank, and according to my dad, that was much of the time when their family was young. Bu tthey discovered the Gospel of Jesus Christ and joined the church and some of those things changed. But Gramps still had unkind thing to say to her at times. I recall him being quite sharp with her in his tone and his words when she was hurting--which became more and more often as her MS developed. But she sure tried to put on a good face for my sister and me. I know she tried hard to show her love for us and her family. She loasted longer than any of my grandparents and she had been sick a lot longer than any of them.
My maternal grandmother lived far away, but I knew doubted she loved me. She seemed like a happy person, and at least happy to see us when we were there. as a little girl I didn't understand why she did some things some times, but as I grew up I understood it was not who she was. She was ill too. But hers was in her mind. After my own experience with The Boy's delivery and my battle with post partum depression, I think I had a lot more in common with Grandma than I knew at the time. I am convinced that she had that same disorder--brought on by having 5 babies in fairly short order in a lonely small isolated place with a partner who had to be away to earn a living. My situation wasn't that dire, but I think even with differing specifics, the results were similar--but they didn't identify the illness and certainly didn't treat it the same way I was able to. I feel very badly for her now. I look forward to getting to know her without the illness someday in the next life. I admire her musicality and sociality. I admire her bright outlook--but maybe that was a providential blessing for her as a coping mechanism. I physically resemble the women on my maternal side, so I feel for them and with them, even if I don't completely understand them all the time.
Finally, I'd like to mention my sister here. We didn't seem to have much in common as we grew up. We thought differently, we enjoyed different things. We had different friends and enjoyed/tolerated different relationships with our parents a lot of the time. But as we were adults raising our own children, I came to admire her personal grit and individual strength. I watched her endure and survive an incredibly painful divorce, and the subsequent fall out with her children; her personal growth and resiliency has been amazing to observe. I'm not sure I could have done as well as she has in the years since that event. But she shows the best of both sides of the women in our family. And while I may not say it enough, I am indeed proud of her and I love her. We still do't have a lot in common, and we might even still have different goals for ourselves, but I feel stronger with her in my corner--even theoretically. And I still admire her.
My mom didn't tell us much about her growing up life--I mean we knew she was a good student and had good friends. She was more athletic than I ever was, but my sister shared that interest. I knew she was a hard worker and everything she was able to do or have was pretty much because she worked for it. Her family growing up was poor and transitory--they moved a LOT when she was in school. Her mother had mental illness from the time she was just starting to understand the bigger world. She was forced to deal with some pretty grown-up and heavy issues early in her life. Her dad drank and was absentee in their home life a lot. Her parents argued a lot. She was anxious to make her own way in the world and it wasn't long after she graduated from high school that she moved out and soon moved away.
Her character reflects all of that. She did her best to protect us from the transitory nature of her growing up by living in the same place while we were in school. I graduated from high school with kids I had been in first grade with--in some cases. I have solid roots in my hometown. She taught us to work hard and be productive. We were strongly discouraged from wasting time and becoming undependable. She and my dad still are in love--it was even embarrassing sometimes as a teenager--but I am so grateful for that stability in my family of origin. They showed us what a good family life was like.
My dad's mother, my Gram, lived with us from the time I was about 7 or 8. I saw in her a woman who was a survivor--sometimes against her will. She survived a tough life as a young mother and wife. My gramps wasn't a happy man when he drank, and according to my dad, that was much of the time when their family was young. Bu tthey discovered the Gospel of Jesus Christ and joined the church and some of those things changed. But Gramps still had unkind thing to say to her at times. I recall him being quite sharp with her in his tone and his words when she was hurting--which became more and more often as her MS developed. But she sure tried to put on a good face for my sister and me. I know she tried hard to show her love for us and her family. She loasted longer than any of my grandparents and she had been sick a lot longer than any of them.
My maternal grandmother lived far away, but I knew doubted she loved me. She seemed like a happy person, and at least happy to see us when we were there. as a little girl I didn't understand why she did some things some times, but as I grew up I understood it was not who she was. She was ill too. But hers was in her mind. After my own experience with The Boy's delivery and my battle with post partum depression, I think I had a lot more in common with Grandma than I knew at the time. I am convinced that she had that same disorder--brought on by having 5 babies in fairly short order in a lonely small isolated place with a partner who had to be away to earn a living. My situation wasn't that dire, but I think even with differing specifics, the results were similar--but they didn't identify the illness and certainly didn't treat it the same way I was able to. I feel very badly for her now. I look forward to getting to know her without the illness someday in the next life. I admire her musicality and sociality. I admire her bright outlook--but maybe that was a providential blessing for her as a coping mechanism. I physically resemble the women on my maternal side, so I feel for them and with them, even if I don't completely understand them all the time.
Finally, I'd like to mention my sister here. We didn't seem to have much in common as we grew up. We thought differently, we enjoyed different things. We had different friends and enjoyed/tolerated different relationships with our parents a lot of the time. But as we were adults raising our own children, I came to admire her personal grit and individual strength. I watched her endure and survive an incredibly painful divorce, and the subsequent fall out with her children; her personal growth and resiliency has been amazing to observe. I'm not sure I could have done as well as she has in the years since that event. But she shows the best of both sides of the women in our family. And while I may not say it enough, I am indeed proud of her and I love her. We still do't have a lot in common, and we might even still have different goals for ourselves, but I feel stronger with her in my corner--even theoretically. And I still admire her.
Sunday, May 13, 2018
#52 Stories--Story # 31
How old were you when you finally appreciated your mother as an individual with her own separate history--that pre-existed your birth--and desires and needs of her own?
I am sure that time came either while I was pregnant and had questions about how her pregnancies went, or shortly after the birth of the The Girl. I do know that while I was raising two very independent preschoolers I would call her a lot and ask her how she did it? I was amazed that she never killed one of us--if we were anything like my two. I was adamant that one of the three of us would be dead before they both made it to full time elementary school. But we all made it and life moved along FAST after that point.
However, I had no idea that those difficult, physically draining, emotionally exhausting, mentally challenging days raising preschoolers would look like a care walk compared to raising young adults. I still don't completely understand how she didn't kill one or both of us in that stage. But she told me grandkids are the payoff for not doing that--so I guess I have that to look forward to. Maybe.
I'm sure glad to have her and that my kids have her as a grandma. They are the luckiest kids ever to have her. And she sure loves them. No wonder I love her so much now.
I am sure that time came either while I was pregnant and had questions about how her pregnancies went, or shortly after the birth of the The Girl. I do know that while I was raising two very independent preschoolers I would call her a lot and ask her how she did it? I was amazed that she never killed one of us--if we were anything like my two. I was adamant that one of the three of us would be dead before they both made it to full time elementary school. But we all made it and life moved along FAST after that point.
However, I had no idea that those difficult, physically draining, emotionally exhausting, mentally challenging days raising preschoolers would look like a care walk compared to raising young adults. I still don't completely understand how she didn't kill one or both of us in that stage. But she told me grandkids are the payoff for not doing that--so I guess I have that to look forward to. Maybe.
I'm sure glad to have her and that my kids have her as a grandma. They are the luckiest kids ever to have her. And she sure loves them. No wonder I love her so much now.
Sunday, May 6, 2018
#52 Stories--Story # 30
Which parts of your mother's parenting style did you adopt?
I wish I could say I did everything like my mom. I think she was--an continues to be--a brilliant parent. I hope I did enough things for my kids like she did for me and my sister.
I think I tried to teach some personal discipline early--I used any method that worked with each kid. Spanking had little to no affect on my daughter--in fact she would glare at me and tell me "didn't hurt". To avoid beating her little sweet bum within a n inch of her life at time, I took to removal of privileges with her. Not that that worked all the great either. She was a "strong willed" child, I later learned the classification from a parenting /child psychology book I finally bought and read before one of us was locked up.
Meanwhile, my son, was a much more tender-hearted guy and even a cross look to him was the end of the world. He really didn't want to displease me--at least when he was young. He grew more and more macho as he got older, but deep down he is still a tender-hearted, very compassionate, caring young man. I couldn't understand HOW I got two kids that were not a single bit alike to raise.
Then I remembered that I needed to be the one learning--as much as I was teaching them. I am not sure if that was a pearl of wisdom my mom finally shared or if I had to figure it out myself, but I still have to purposely stop and understand what I need to learn from them when ever they do something that I don't understand. this is a lifelong goal--the understanding--but I am making baby steps, all the while realizing that I just really need to love them and make sure they know I do.
I know my mom told me that she would talk to us as infants as though we were understanding everything. I recall very specifically having The Girl in her car seat in the family room, while I was ironing Genius Golfer's dress shirt for work, and I was telling The Girl in great detail what I was doing: "This is a sleeve. It goes on daddy's arm. There are two sleeves in a shirt. You have a shirt on too, but you have only short sleeves. This is a long sleeve shirt. See how the sleeve will reach all the way to daddy's hands?"
Now, I don't know if that helped me to be more verbal or not as a baby--my mom told me when I did start talking I was talking in sentences like a I was a teenager. Well, I saw the same things in The Girl. She was VERY verbal, right from the start. The Boy didn't have as much chance--though I did still try to do the same for him. The Girl spoke for him a lot of the time. Also, I had a very difficult post partum period with his birth--depression that took two years or so to combat and overcome. Consequently I don't remember things much from when he was very small--at least on my own. Luckily I wrote things on his baby calendar and tried to write a journal, but I wasn't very good because of my disconnect with life in the depression.
I also followed my mom's example by letting the kids try things they wanted to do. I didn't like big messes--I think she was the same way--but sometimes those things had to happen for them to experience things. Messy things were not my favorites. I think back now and wish I'd have let so much more go when the kids were little--like housekeeping stuff. I should have played with them more. GG was always VERY good about that. And they loved him for it even more. I think my mo has similar sentiments.
I have always said that if I could be even half the mother mom my was, I would be a success. I'm not there yet, but I am a mother of two pretty wonderful kids. Maybe I just didn't screw them up too badly. If that is true, I guess I am like my mom.
I wish I could say I did everything like my mom. I think she was--an continues to be--a brilliant parent. I hope I did enough things for my kids like she did for me and my sister.
I think I tried to teach some personal discipline early--I used any method that worked with each kid. Spanking had little to no affect on my daughter--in fact she would glare at me and tell me "didn't hurt". To avoid beating her little sweet bum within a n inch of her life at time, I took to removal of privileges with her. Not that that worked all the great either. She was a "strong willed" child, I later learned the classification from a parenting /child psychology book I finally bought and read before one of us was locked up.
Meanwhile, my son, was a much more tender-hearted guy and even a cross look to him was the end of the world. He really didn't want to displease me--at least when he was young. He grew more and more macho as he got older, but deep down he is still a tender-hearted, very compassionate, caring young man. I couldn't understand HOW I got two kids that were not a single bit alike to raise.
Then I remembered that I needed to be the one learning--as much as I was teaching them. I am not sure if that was a pearl of wisdom my mom finally shared or if I had to figure it out myself, but I still have to purposely stop and understand what I need to learn from them when ever they do something that I don't understand. this is a lifelong goal--the understanding--but I am making baby steps, all the while realizing that I just really need to love them and make sure they know I do.
I know my mom told me that she would talk to us as infants as though we were understanding everything. I recall very specifically having The Girl in her car seat in the family room, while I was ironing Genius Golfer's dress shirt for work, and I was telling The Girl in great detail what I was doing: "This is a sleeve. It goes on daddy's arm. There are two sleeves in a shirt. You have a shirt on too, but you have only short sleeves. This is a long sleeve shirt. See how the sleeve will reach all the way to daddy's hands?"
Now, I don't know if that helped me to be more verbal or not as a baby--my mom told me when I did start talking I was talking in sentences like a I was a teenager. Well, I saw the same things in The Girl. She was VERY verbal, right from the start. The Boy didn't have as much chance--though I did still try to do the same for him. The Girl spoke for him a lot of the time. Also, I had a very difficult post partum period with his birth--depression that took two years or so to combat and overcome. Consequently I don't remember things much from when he was very small--at least on my own. Luckily I wrote things on his baby calendar and tried to write a journal, but I wasn't very good because of my disconnect with life in the depression.
I also followed my mom's example by letting the kids try things they wanted to do. I didn't like big messes--I think she was the same way--but sometimes those things had to happen for them to experience things. Messy things were not my favorites. I think back now and wish I'd have let so much more go when the kids were little--like housekeeping stuff. I should have played with them more. GG was always VERY good about that. And they loved him for it even more. I think my mo has similar sentiments.
I have always said that if I could be even half the mother mom my was, I would be a success. I'm not there yet, but I am a mother of two pretty wonderful kids. Maybe I just didn't screw them up too badly. If that is true, I guess I am like my mom.
Sunday, April 29, 2018
#52 Stories--Story # 29
How many different homes or apartments have you lived in throughout your life? How many different cities? What have you gained or lost in each of those moves?
As a very young girl I lived in Sunnyvale--a house on Santa Paula street until I was about 3 or 4, and another home on Sugarpine Drive until we moved to or family home in Gilroy, CA. I lived there with my parents, sister, and grandparents until I left home to go to college in Provo, Utah at BYU. I was just eighteen years old when I left home. I lived my freshman year in the Deseret Towers, U-Hall, apartment U-712, as I recall. DT has been torn down now and made way for newer nicer on campus housing and other buildings.
I lived there for 2 semesters then came home to work the summer after my first year away at school. I lived back in my childhood home that summer while I worked in San Jose. then my second year of BYU I lived in an apartment at Raintree Apartments on Freedom Blvd in Provo. I have had several roommates, by my room-roommate there was Stephanie Coltrin. she was from Westchester, New York. We lived there for two semesters then moved to a little rental home that following summer that was behind the old Albertson's on University Parkway. Living with her was not helping me be a better person, and due to some additional complications, I moved at the end of the summer to Stadium Terrace apartments, just north of the BYU stadium.
In those apartments I moved without knowing anyone, but I knew whatever it was had to be a better situation than I was leaving. Boy, did I luck out there! I ended up living with the apartment manager, Stacy, and her other roommate, Perri Campbell. We each had our own rooms in this apartment, as part of the perks of living with the manager. Plus the bathroom was a huge common area with sinks and countertops and 2 "stalls" and a curtained off shower area. I'd never seen anything like that before. We were a "basement" apartment directly off the diving board of the swimming pool. My room backed up a portion of the mailboxes--consequently I could hear EVERY TIME someone picked up their mail. Stacey and Perri and I lived together for a couple of years. Things were great there. I stayed year-round and kept going to school while I lived there.
Eventually Perri had to move as her dad had been diagnosed with ALS and she needed to go home to Washington and care for him and help her mom. I was crushed to see her leave, as I felt she was like a big sisters I never had. I knew it was the right thing for her to go home and help her dad in his final years.
Stacy had plans to move on too. Things just can't stay that "young adult college student" phase forever, I suppose. So I had 5 knew girls move in. I remember one called herself Michel--but after stealing something from the rest of us, she ended up committed to the psych ward at UVRMC for a time. I never did get my favorite jeans back from her.
The final group of ladies I lived with were fantastic roommies! Jennie, Jen, Jodi, and Shannon were wonderful to live with for the last year or two of my university life. Jen, Jodi and Shannon had known each other from their missions to Norway. Jennie, Jen and Shannon I believe had known each other from internships in Washington DC. They were gracious enough to include me in their group as we lived together in the same little downstairs apartment until three of us got married that final semester we were there.
Then after marrying Genius Golfer, we lived in his mom's Springville home's basement while I finished my degree that summer. I ended up working at a place in Provo following graduation, and we found a brand new apartment in Springville (169 N 200 E, I think) where we lived for a semester until we realized that we could move back to his mom's basement and save money to buy a home. So we did that, moving back to 235 E 1300 N in Springville. It worked out great as she worked nights as a nurse at the Provo hospital and I was working days in Provo while GG was trying to get his business off the ground. She'd had dinner made when I got home from work, and I'd cleaning up the kitchen and she'd be off to work. She made those couple of years pretty easy for me, I'm happy to say.
Toward the end of summer 1994, we felt it was time to find a place, but after having grown up and attend schools in basically one place my whole life--and GG having to move mid-high school--we knew we wanted to find place where we could raise our kids. we found a spec home that the builder was getting ready to finish and we squeaked by with out financing and a little help from my parents and bought our first home on 300 West in Pleasant Grove.
The kids went to the same elementary school, junior high and high school as many, many of their friends--graduating together after going to their whole public school years together. Not everyone can say that. I made wonderful friends in PTA, Strawberry Days committees, kids' swim, soccer, and football teams and of course our local congregation over the years.
About 18 months ago, we saw the chance to build a retirement home in St. George, after having visited several times and falling in love with the weather and landscapes there. We aren't living there full time at this point, but wish we could get there more often to enjoy the quiet and peace it offers.
Someday the day will come that we make the permanent move south. But I love where I am until then. When we do move it might take me a few years to really love my neighbors and make new friends in the area and ward there. But all good things take time. Just like leaving here will take time to get over too.
As a very young girl I lived in Sunnyvale--a house on Santa Paula street until I was about 3 or 4, and another home on Sugarpine Drive until we moved to or family home in Gilroy, CA. I lived there with my parents, sister, and grandparents until I left home to go to college in Provo, Utah at BYU. I was just eighteen years old when I left home. I lived my freshman year in the Deseret Towers, U-Hall, apartment U-712, as I recall. DT has been torn down now and made way for newer nicer on campus housing and other buildings.
I lived there for 2 semesters then came home to work the summer after my first year away at school. I lived back in my childhood home that summer while I worked in San Jose. then my second year of BYU I lived in an apartment at Raintree Apartments on Freedom Blvd in Provo. I have had several roommates, by my room-roommate there was Stephanie Coltrin. she was from Westchester, New York. We lived there for two semesters then moved to a little rental home that following summer that was behind the old Albertson's on University Parkway. Living with her was not helping me be a better person, and due to some additional complications, I moved at the end of the summer to Stadium Terrace apartments, just north of the BYU stadium.
In those apartments I moved without knowing anyone, but I knew whatever it was had to be a better situation than I was leaving. Boy, did I luck out there! I ended up living with the apartment manager, Stacy, and her other roommate, Perri Campbell. We each had our own rooms in this apartment, as part of the perks of living with the manager. Plus the bathroom was a huge common area with sinks and countertops and 2 "stalls" and a curtained off shower area. I'd never seen anything like that before. We were a "basement" apartment directly off the diving board of the swimming pool. My room backed up a portion of the mailboxes--consequently I could hear EVERY TIME someone picked up their mail. Stacey and Perri and I lived together for a couple of years. Things were great there. I stayed year-round and kept going to school while I lived there.
Eventually Perri had to move as her dad had been diagnosed with ALS and she needed to go home to Washington and care for him and help her mom. I was crushed to see her leave, as I felt she was like a big sisters I never had. I knew it was the right thing for her to go home and help her dad in his final years.
Stacy had plans to move on too. Things just can't stay that "young adult college student" phase forever, I suppose. So I had 5 knew girls move in. I remember one called herself Michel--but after stealing something from the rest of us, she ended up committed to the psych ward at UVRMC for a time. I never did get my favorite jeans back from her.
The final group of ladies I lived with were fantastic roommies! Jennie, Jen, Jodi, and Shannon were wonderful to live with for the last year or two of my university life. Jen, Jodi and Shannon had known each other from their missions to Norway. Jennie, Jen and Shannon I believe had known each other from internships in Washington DC. They were gracious enough to include me in their group as we lived together in the same little downstairs apartment until three of us got married that final semester we were there.
Then after marrying Genius Golfer, we lived in his mom's Springville home's basement while I finished my degree that summer. I ended up working at a place in Provo following graduation, and we found a brand new apartment in Springville (169 N 200 E, I think) where we lived for a semester until we realized that we could move back to his mom's basement and save money to buy a home. So we did that, moving back to 235 E 1300 N in Springville. It worked out great as she worked nights as a nurse at the Provo hospital and I was working days in Provo while GG was trying to get his business off the ground. She'd had dinner made when I got home from work, and I'd cleaning up the kitchen and she'd be off to work. She made those couple of years pretty easy for me, I'm happy to say.
Toward the end of summer 1994, we felt it was time to find a place, but after having grown up and attend schools in basically one place my whole life--and GG having to move mid-high school--we knew we wanted to find place where we could raise our kids. we found a spec home that the builder was getting ready to finish and we squeaked by with out financing and a little help from my parents and bought our first home on 300 West in Pleasant Grove.
The kids went to the same elementary school, junior high and high school as many, many of their friends--graduating together after going to their whole public school years together. Not everyone can say that. I made wonderful friends in PTA, Strawberry Days committees, kids' swim, soccer, and football teams and of course our local congregation over the years.
About 18 months ago, we saw the chance to build a retirement home in St. George, after having visited several times and falling in love with the weather and landscapes there. We aren't living there full time at this point, but wish we could get there more often to enjoy the quiet and peace it offers.
Someday the day will come that we make the permanent move south. But I love where I am until then. When we do move it might take me a few years to really love my neighbors and make new friends in the area and ward there. But all good things take time. Just like leaving here will take time to get over too.
Sunday, April 22, 2018
#52 Stories--Story # 28
What do you love about where you live now? What would you change about it?
I love the neighbors and friends I have here in Pleasant Grove. We have lived here since Sept 20, 1994. The kids have grown up here. We've had some of our neighbors this whole time. Those are treasured relationships that last that long.
I loved that we bought our first home here and that the kids have always had this place to call home. But the older I get the harder the stairs are on my knees. I'd love to have the same location but with the floor plan we have in our St. George home. Of course, we don't have the storage areas there that we have here, but I think I could pare things down and live here in that home forever. I hate the thought of leaving the neighborhood and all the friends I have made here, but I love the idea of warmer weather, no stairs and definitely NO SNOW--or least none that lasts.
I love the neighbors and friends I have here in Pleasant Grove. We have lived here since Sept 20, 1994. The kids have grown up here. We've had some of our neighbors this whole time. Those are treasured relationships that last that long.
I loved that we bought our first home here and that the kids have always had this place to call home. But the older I get the harder the stairs are on my knees. I'd love to have the same location but with the floor plan we have in our St. George home. Of course, we don't have the storage areas there that we have here, but I think I could pare things down and live here in that home forever. I hate the thought of leaving the neighborhood and all the friends I have made here, but I love the idea of warmer weather, no stairs and definitely NO SNOW--or least none that lasts.
Sunday, April 15, 2018
#52 Stories--Story # 27
Do you know where you'd like to be aid to rest one day? Will you be buries near relatives and ancestors or in a place you lived most of your life?
I can't imagine any reason to be buried in my hometown. My parents and one set of grandparents will be buried there, but I can't see it happening for me. I just don't think I need that. I'd be fine with being buried in pleasant Grove. I have lived here the longest now. But if we end up in St. George, or even further south somewhere, I would guess I'd end up buried wherever we end. We have no prearranged plans made at this point in my life. But I guess wherever Genius golfer gets buried, I'll go with him. If I go first, I suppose I'd have to say the Pleasant Grove cemetery is as good as anything else.
I can't imagine any reason to be buried in my hometown. My parents and one set of grandparents will be buried there, but I can't see it happening for me. I just don't think I need that. I'd be fine with being buried in pleasant Grove. I have lived here the longest now. But if we end up in St. George, or even further south somewhere, I would guess I'd end up buried wherever we end. We have no prearranged plans made at this point in my life. But I guess wherever Genius golfer gets buried, I'll go with him. If I go first, I suppose I'd have to say the Pleasant Grove cemetery is as good as anything else.
Sunday, April 8, 2018
#52 Stories--Story #26
In childhood, did you share a bedroom with siblings or have a room to yourself? What kinds of things did you collect and display in your own little corner of the world?
I had my own room growing up. Since there was only me and my younger sister, we had separate rooms. Good thing or we'd likely have killed each other. It was close once in a while even in separate rooms.
I remember collecting key rings for a while. Thought I didn't really display them, I had a cool old box made from wood that I kept them in I did hang some on a bulletin board for a while though. I'd find cool key rings whenever we went someplace. I guess they weren't that expensive so it was do-able. But I loved to take photos too. I began a photography hobby when I was about 10. It was one way to bring home "things" from wherever I went. Some of those I did display, but again just on the bulletin board in my room.
I had my own room growing up. Since there was only me and my younger sister, we had separate rooms. Good thing or we'd likely have killed each other. It was close once in a while even in separate rooms.
I remember collecting key rings for a while. Thought I didn't really display them, I had a cool old box made from wood that I kept them in I did hang some on a bulletin board for a while though. I'd find cool key rings whenever we went someplace. I guess they weren't that expensive so it was do-able. But I loved to take photos too. I began a photography hobby when I was about 10. It was one way to bring home "things" from wherever I went. Some of those I did display, but again just on the bulletin board in my room.
Thursday, April 5, 2018
#52 Stories--Story #25
Sorry, I was out of town for Easter and didn't get this prepped to auto-publish.
Where are your roots? Do you feel strong ties to a particular place, either because of your own personal experience or your ancestry?
I love my hometown, but it isn't what I remember when I go back to visit. I guess that is the way things go, as if you aren't changing you are staying the same. But Gilroy was a great place to grown up. I had wonderful friends, and made some terrific memories there. The homestead my parents still live on was a super place too! I loved having the space to have animals, adventures, exercise my imagination, play without any more worries that "Will there be a snake on the next rock in the sunshine?" I do enjoy going home to visit with my parents, and enjoying the space again, but it is too "out of town" for my taste these days. But it was a wonderful place to grow up.
As far as feeling an affinity to other places, I have always had a pull to the British Isles. I finally got to visit in 2016. I had about a week in London and then saw Dover and Newcastle. Plus a quick stopover in the Orkney Islands of Scotland. I haven't made it to Ireland yet, but that is on my bucket list. I'm not sure what draws me to these places, but I love the language, the accent, the manners, the history and the people. I love to listen and tell stories, so maybe that is it. The Irish are notorious story tellers. and when I did get my DNA traced, I was surprised to find out I'm 17% Irish by my DNA. I'll take that.
Where are your roots? Do you feel strong ties to a particular place, either because of your own personal experience or your ancestry?
I love my hometown, but it isn't what I remember when I go back to visit. I guess that is the way things go, as if you aren't changing you are staying the same. But Gilroy was a great place to grown up. I had wonderful friends, and made some terrific memories there. The homestead my parents still live on was a super place too! I loved having the space to have animals, adventures, exercise my imagination, play without any more worries that "Will there be a snake on the next rock in the sunshine?" I do enjoy going home to visit with my parents, and enjoying the space again, but it is too "out of town" for my taste these days. But it was a wonderful place to grow up.
As far as feeling an affinity to other places, I have always had a pull to the British Isles. I finally got to visit in 2016. I had about a week in London and then saw Dover and Newcastle. Plus a quick stopover in the Orkney Islands of Scotland. I haven't made it to Ireland yet, but that is on my bucket list. I'm not sure what draws me to these places, but I love the language, the accent, the manners, the history and the people. I love to listen and tell stories, so maybe that is it. The Irish are notorious story tellers. and when I did get my DNA traced, I was surprised to find out I'm 17% Irish by my DNA. I'll take that.
Sunday, March 25, 2018
#52 Stories--Story # 24
Describe your work ethic. Who taught you how to work? What would you want your children and grandchildren to learn from your example?
Like all good things in my life, I was taught by my parents to work. I knew that nothing comes for free early on. I knew that good things took work and good work--no matter what kind it was--was valuable. I never enjoyed the work my mom would assign us as kids--usually it involved yard work, weeding, etc. and that just made me hot, sticky and cranky. But I knew my parents were hard workers. They had worked all their lives. They told us frequently about the kind of things they did--even for fun as they grew up and if they wanted anything, they had to work for it.
I would hope my kid and grandkids knew that any honorable work is worthwhile. I have always appreciated that my dad--a mechanic long before he was a business owner--worked hard a ta dirty job and that he took pride in being good at what he did There was not a college degree that would have done that for him. just his own hard work and diligent honest effort. My mom worked to make her own clothes from the time she could earn money. She developed her mind and used it well as she worked for others before she finally worked with my dad to build a successful business. They were successful together because they matched one another in their ethical practices focusing on honesty, and good hard labor to do what they needed to serve their customers. They had a slew of loyal customers too, when they finally retired. They didn't cut corners and they followed the rules. they worked hard for many many years to build what they did.
I hope my own family will see the same in us. I didn't have the same work history that Genius Golfer has had but he is just as hard a worker in his field as my parents were in theirs. When the kids were young, he worked up to three jobs so that I could be home full time raising our children. That was important to him. He grew up with a single mom who had to work to support their family and he missed having her in the home like I was able to for The Boy and The Girl. I always appreciated that about him and worked hard in my sphere to see that his sacrifice fro our family was worth it. sometimes I think it would have been easier to have a job somewhere with a paycheck to show what my efforts were worth, but now I have the kids to show that payoff. It is a good exchange. Hard work, no matter where it is done is worthwhile.
Like all good things in my life, I was taught by my parents to work. I knew that nothing comes for free early on. I knew that good things took work and good work--no matter what kind it was--was valuable. I never enjoyed the work my mom would assign us as kids--usually it involved yard work, weeding, etc. and that just made me hot, sticky and cranky. But I knew my parents were hard workers. They had worked all their lives. They told us frequently about the kind of things they did--even for fun as they grew up and if they wanted anything, they had to work for it.
I would hope my kid and grandkids knew that any honorable work is worthwhile. I have always appreciated that my dad--a mechanic long before he was a business owner--worked hard a ta dirty job and that he took pride in being good at what he did There was not a college degree that would have done that for him. just his own hard work and diligent honest effort. My mom worked to make her own clothes from the time she could earn money. She developed her mind and used it well as she worked for others before she finally worked with my dad to build a successful business. They were successful together because they matched one another in their ethical practices focusing on honesty, and good hard labor to do what they needed to serve their customers. They had a slew of loyal customers too, when they finally retired. They didn't cut corners and they followed the rules. they worked hard for many many years to build what they did.
I hope my own family will see the same in us. I didn't have the same work history that Genius Golfer has had but he is just as hard a worker in his field as my parents were in theirs. When the kids were young, he worked up to three jobs so that I could be home full time raising our children. That was important to him. He grew up with a single mom who had to work to support their family and he missed having her in the home like I was able to for The Boy and The Girl. I always appreciated that about him and worked hard in my sphere to see that his sacrifice fro our family was worth it. sometimes I think it would have been easier to have a job somewhere with a paycheck to show what my efforts were worth, but now I have the kids to show that payoff. It is a good exchange. Hard work, no matter where it is done is worthwhile.
Sunday, March 18, 2018
#52 Stories--Story #23
How did you earn your very first paycheck as a teenager or young adult? how did that first job influence the career choices you've made since?
My first paying job--besides babysitting for people in our ward--was a summertime childcare/lifeguard job at Goldsmith's Seeds just outside of town. I was hired because I told them that we had a pool and I knew how to swim. Looking back now I think they were vastly overestimating my lifesaving abilities. Luckily I never had those skills tested.
I watched the employee's primary school aged children at the company pool, on site, for the summer days while the kids were out of school. It was fairly easy work, and for only a few children at a time, I believe I made about $3.50/hour. I enjoyed the sunshine and the pool. And played with the kids or watched them play in the water to kill the time.
My next real job was as a sales clerk at the local Beverly's Fabric shop in town. I had to demonstrate my ability to sew--brought in some of the things that I had made--and also was required to show I knew how to count back change as the register didn't tell you the correct change amounts like they do now. I also was quickly assigned to close the shop after the evening or weekend shifts. It wasn't exciting work, but I did get to practice my minimal conversational Spanish skills as well as my math and calculations in adding lengths and widths to figure sizes for people. I got pretty good with fabric content and use and wear of it. I did more sewing and developed those skills well enough that once I left for college and started my sophomore year, I found another fabric clerk job as my first job in Utah. I remember when I left home I was making $4.75/hour and my sister took my job at Beverly's for the same starting rate I had when I left. (ARGH!)
My first paying job--besides babysitting for people in our ward--was a summertime childcare/lifeguard job at Goldsmith's Seeds just outside of town. I was hired because I told them that we had a pool and I knew how to swim. Looking back now I think they were vastly overestimating my lifesaving abilities. Luckily I never had those skills tested.
I watched the employee's primary school aged children at the company pool, on site, for the summer days while the kids were out of school. It was fairly easy work, and for only a few children at a time, I believe I made about $3.50/hour. I enjoyed the sunshine and the pool. And played with the kids or watched them play in the water to kill the time.
My next real job was as a sales clerk at the local Beverly's Fabric shop in town. I had to demonstrate my ability to sew--brought in some of the things that I had made--and also was required to show I knew how to count back change as the register didn't tell you the correct change amounts like they do now. I also was quickly assigned to close the shop after the evening or weekend shifts. It wasn't exciting work, but I did get to practice my minimal conversational Spanish skills as well as my math and calculations in adding lengths and widths to figure sizes for people. I got pretty good with fabric content and use and wear of it. I did more sewing and developed those skills well enough that once I left for college and started my sophomore year, I found another fabric clerk job as my first job in Utah. I remember when I left home I was making $4.75/hour and my sister took my job at Beverly's for the same starting rate I had when I left. (ARGH!)
Sunday, March 11, 2018
#52 Stories--Story #22
Do you remember what future career you dreamed of as a child? Are you stil following that dream? If not, what age did you find a new dream?
From about age ten on I wanted to be a photographer fro Life Magazine. I loved to see the detail in all the photos from that publication. I loved the idea of traveling to see new places and people and photograph them for the magazine. I pursued photography as a hobby for some years. I was fairly decent but never committed enough to learn more than what I knew or used regularly to improve much. That dream still sits in the back of my mind but it's potential has since died as my eyes have gotten increasingly bad as I have gotten older.
My other dream career was that of a classroom teacher. Particularly a history teacher. I studied to teach high school history through college. I did my student teaching at Mountain view High School in Orem, Utah in 1992. But after interviewing all over the valley, I never got a contracted job teaching and ended up working at a dental lab--of all places--after graduation. However, through my PTA and volunteer work, I have substituted in my kids' schools over the years. And now that they are gone from public school, I think about going back to teaching. That dream is slowed by the idea of the increasing hoops and restrictions placed in the way for creative and innovative teaching by the "powers that be". I absolutely admire the teachers that do this year in and year out. But I know too well how ridiculous the legislative requirements--yanking them one direction then the other year after year, as well as the incredibly invasive parental oversteps can interfere with actual teaching and creative learning. Nope, I'll likely just go back to substituting at the local high school.
I do love teaching though, and currently get to practice that art in my Gospel Doctrine class at church. I loved teaching int my callings in Young Women as well, but a regular teaching calling is terrific.
From about age ten on I wanted to be a photographer fro Life Magazine. I loved to see the detail in all the photos from that publication. I loved the idea of traveling to see new places and people and photograph them for the magazine. I pursued photography as a hobby for some years. I was fairly decent but never committed enough to learn more than what I knew or used regularly to improve much. That dream still sits in the back of my mind but it's potential has since died as my eyes have gotten increasingly bad as I have gotten older.
My other dream career was that of a classroom teacher. Particularly a history teacher. I studied to teach high school history through college. I did my student teaching at Mountain view High School in Orem, Utah in 1992. But after interviewing all over the valley, I never got a contracted job teaching and ended up working at a dental lab--of all places--after graduation. However, through my PTA and volunteer work, I have substituted in my kids' schools over the years. And now that they are gone from public school, I think about going back to teaching. That dream is slowed by the idea of the increasing hoops and restrictions placed in the way for creative and innovative teaching by the "powers that be". I absolutely admire the teachers that do this year in and year out. But I know too well how ridiculous the legislative requirements--yanking them one direction then the other year after year, as well as the incredibly invasive parental oversteps can interfere with actual teaching and creative learning. Nope, I'll likely just go back to substituting at the local high school.
I do love teaching though, and currently get to practice that art in my Gospel Doctrine class at church. I loved teaching int my callings in Young Women as well, but a regular teaching calling is terrific.
Sunday, March 4, 2018
#52 Stories--Story #21
Who was your first best friend? Are you still in contact with each other? What do you remember about the friendship?
The majority of my growing up my best friend was Kathy M. We rode the bus together. We attended school together. We had similar country-girl lives. In junior and high school we were inseparable. More weekends than not we were spending the night at each other's homes. After graduation we both even attended BYU for our university studies.
We had been in tight contact until shortly after my kids were born. Her first marriage broke up in a rather ugly and hurtful way far beyond what I understood at the time. At our 10 year high school reunion I crossed a line and told her what I thought of some of her choices--completely out of bound as I now know--and she didn't speak to me again for 20 years. I regretted what I said from almost the very moment I said it.
We saw each other at the 20 year reunion--but our greetings were superficial and very brief and a little more than awkward.
By our 30th reunion this past summer, her life had radically changed. She was divorced a second time and was now living in a committed lesbian relationship. At the reunion I took the chance to ask her how she really was and how her kids were. I asked how her parents and sister were doing. I feel so grateful that she took the questions in the genuine way I meant them and --whether it was the wine or something else talking--she told me JUST how things stood in her life. Since she had come out, her parents had disowned her and her sister didn't want much to do with her either. Her partner Stacey was there with her and frankly, I thought she was terrific! I took the chance again and told her that I was so sorry things weren't better with her family, but that I was so happy that she seemed so happy and at peace in herself and with Stacey. I also told her that I always just wanted her to be happy. We hugged and I felt like things are fallen back into place.
We aren't at any kind of similar place in our lives right now, but I am sincerely pleased that she has found some happiness after a life full of some really difficult and painful situations. She is now a Nurse Practitioner in Montana and a grandma three times over. I wish her nothing but continued happiness and joy and some sense of peace about her family. I have so many happy memories from growing up at each other's side. And that I can't ever regret.
The majority of my growing up my best friend was Kathy M. We rode the bus together. We attended school together. We had similar country-girl lives. In junior and high school we were inseparable. More weekends than not we were spending the night at each other's homes. After graduation we both even attended BYU for our university studies.
We had been in tight contact until shortly after my kids were born. Her first marriage broke up in a rather ugly and hurtful way far beyond what I understood at the time. At our 10 year high school reunion I crossed a line and told her what I thought of some of her choices--completely out of bound as I now know--and she didn't speak to me again for 20 years. I regretted what I said from almost the very moment I said it.
We saw each other at the 20 year reunion--but our greetings were superficial and very brief and a little more than awkward.
By our 30th reunion this past summer, her life had radically changed. She was divorced a second time and was now living in a committed lesbian relationship. At the reunion I took the chance to ask her how she really was and how her kids were. I asked how her parents and sister were doing. I feel so grateful that she took the questions in the genuine way I meant them and --whether it was the wine or something else talking--she told me JUST how things stood in her life. Since she had come out, her parents had disowned her and her sister didn't want much to do with her either. Her partner Stacey was there with her and frankly, I thought she was terrific! I took the chance again and told her that I was so sorry things weren't better with her family, but that I was so happy that she seemed so happy and at peace in herself and with Stacey. I also told her that I always just wanted her to be happy. We hugged and I felt like things are fallen back into place.
We aren't at any kind of similar place in our lives right now, but I am sincerely pleased that she has found some happiness after a life full of some really difficult and painful situations. She is now a Nurse Practitioner in Montana and a grandma three times over. I wish her nothing but continued happiness and joy and some sense of peace about her family. I have so many happy memories from growing up at each other's side. And that I can't ever regret.
Sunday, February 25, 2018
#52 Stories--Story # 20
How does your significant other let you know that you are loved? How do you how your love to them in return?
I feel loved from Genius Golfer whenever he speaks of me to others in glowing terms. He doesn't speak much, but I know without a doubt how he feels when she shares those kind words to others about me. Occasionally he will bring me a little gift--or share a treat with me. I especially love it when he writes me a little love note of some kind--it doesn't even have to be sappy, just words of appreciation mean so much to me.
I try to show my affection by telling him regularly how much I appreciate him--especially when he does things that help me out. I have tried hard to focus my attention to him fully, rather than focus on my phone, tablet, TV or whatever else is going on around me--After all he is worth that and much more.
I feel loved from Genius Golfer whenever he speaks of me to others in glowing terms. He doesn't speak much, but I know without a doubt how he feels when she shares those kind words to others about me. Occasionally he will bring me a little gift--or share a treat with me. I especially love it when he writes me a little love note of some kind--it doesn't even have to be sappy, just words of appreciation mean so much to me.
I try to show my affection by telling him regularly how much I appreciate him--especially when he does things that help me out. I have tried hard to focus my attention to him fully, rather than focus on my phone, tablet, TV or whatever else is going on around me--After all he is worth that and much more.
Monday, February 19, 2018
#52 Stories--Story #19
When you were young, what qualities did you think were most important in a future spouse? Did your list change as you grew and matured?
As a young girl in Young Women at church we regularly made "lists" of what we'd like our future spouse to be like. Luckily for me, the majority of things I wanted in a future partner were relatively reasonable. Most likely that realization came from watching the real life love story my parents had shared fro years and year.
Most often I would say I wanted some marry someone that was a worthy priesthood holder. I was blessed to have many friends growing up that showed me--in my peer group--what guys like that were like. They were wonderful and lifelong friends, even now. Not everyone has had easy or even comfortable lives but I still appreciate and love them for what they taught me as a young woman.
I'd also would have wanted to be with someone who made me laugh. I have a sense of humor that is close to the surface and consequently I find things funny all the time. I like to laugh and enjoy making others laugh too. Someone with a similar sense of humor would be a preference.
I wanted to be with someone who had ambition within reason--someone who liked to work but wasn't obsessed with it. Holding down a job, and earning enough to support a family was an important trait I watched my own dad exemplify. That meant a lot to me from very early in my youth.
Of course it would be great if he were tall, liked to dance, had a great smile, and was cute. But those kind of qualities dropped in importance as I got older and made way for the more lasting personality traits that mean so much more now.
I feel very lucky that for the most part, Genius Golfer is all the things I wanted in a future spouse. He loves his family. He has always had a job and works hard to support our family. He has skills, talents, and gifts that he has figured out how to use to support us. He is also financially careful, cautious and conservative. We certainly get to do and spend money to make our lives memorable and enjoyable. But we don't spend wastefully.
GG is a terrific dad too. He has such a natural way with the kids--from the times they were VERY small. He just 'gets" them. And he seems to always understand when I had HAD it with them. I'm quite sure he saved them from some kind of parental chaos many times.
I know I am a very lucky woman.
As a young girl in Young Women at church we regularly made "lists" of what we'd like our future spouse to be like. Luckily for me, the majority of things I wanted in a future partner were relatively reasonable. Most likely that realization came from watching the real life love story my parents had shared fro years and year.
Most often I would say I wanted some marry someone that was a worthy priesthood holder. I was blessed to have many friends growing up that showed me--in my peer group--what guys like that were like. They were wonderful and lifelong friends, even now. Not everyone has had easy or even comfortable lives but I still appreciate and love them for what they taught me as a young woman.
I'd also would have wanted to be with someone who made me laugh. I have a sense of humor that is close to the surface and consequently I find things funny all the time. I like to laugh and enjoy making others laugh too. Someone with a similar sense of humor would be a preference.
I wanted to be with someone who had ambition within reason--someone who liked to work but wasn't obsessed with it. Holding down a job, and earning enough to support a family was an important trait I watched my own dad exemplify. That meant a lot to me from very early in my youth.
Of course it would be great if he were tall, liked to dance, had a great smile, and was cute. But those kind of qualities dropped in importance as I got older and made way for the more lasting personality traits that mean so much more now.
I feel very lucky that for the most part, Genius Golfer is all the things I wanted in a future spouse. He loves his family. He has always had a job and works hard to support our family. He has skills, talents, and gifts that he has figured out how to use to support us. He is also financially careful, cautious and conservative. We certainly get to do and spend money to make our lives memorable and enjoyable. But we don't spend wastefully.
GG is a terrific dad too. He has such a natural way with the kids--from the times they were VERY small. He just 'gets" them. And he seems to always understand when I had HAD it with them. I'm quite sure he saved them from some kind of parental chaos many times.
I know I am a very lucky woman.
Sunday, February 11, 2018
#52 Stories-Story # 18
What valuable lessons about love and devotion have you learned from the most successful marriages in your family--whether they're your siblings, parents, grandparents or even ancestors?
My parents are the most successful love story in our family. We jokingly say they have been together forever already--and in a way they have been. They've been together since my mom was 14 years old and they have been married since 1964.
From them I have learned that sometimes you may not always LIKE the person, but if there is love at the bottom of it all, everything and anything can be weathered together.
From them I've learned that you love someone fiercely--with no excuses to anyone else.
From them I've learned that you love someone through thick and thin--and everything in between.
From them I've learned that you never give up on someone you love.
I have learned from them that really loving someone means you'll have to forgive them many times and ask for forgiveness a lot too
From them I've learned that event he hardest things are easier together.
From them I have learned that with a good partner at your side you can do just about anything.
From them I've learned that when you love someone you also love their family--good, bad or ugly.
And from them I've learned that when you love someone that love doesn't go away when things get hard, or boring, or tough, or challenges arise, or things are going beautifully. When you love someone, you choose to love them each and every day.
They are not perfect examples, but they are the best thing I have had to look to and see how to do this relationship-thing in my life.
My parents are the most successful love story in our family. We jokingly say they have been together forever already--and in a way they have been. They've been together since my mom was 14 years old and they have been married since 1964.
From them I have learned that sometimes you may not always LIKE the person, but if there is love at the bottom of it all, everything and anything can be weathered together.
From them I've learned that you love someone fiercely--with no excuses to anyone else.
From them I've learned that you love someone through thick and thin--and everything in between.
From them I've learned that you never give up on someone you love.
I have learned from them that really loving someone means you'll have to forgive them many times and ask for forgiveness a lot too
From them I've learned that event he hardest things are easier together.
From them I have learned that with a good partner at your side you can do just about anything.
From them I've learned that when you love someone you also love their family--good, bad or ugly.
And from them I've learned that when you love someone that love doesn't go away when things get hard, or boring, or tough, or challenges arise, or things are going beautifully. When you love someone, you choose to love them each and every day.
They are not perfect examples, but they are the best thing I have had to look to and see how to do this relationship-thing in my life.
Sunday, February 4, 2018
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