Family Christmas Letter, In Case You Missed It

Merry Christmas 2014 from the DeBuck Family

We’ve had a wonderful year in 2014.  Here are the highlights:

CAM, nearing the end of his 40s, started a new job with a company called TQS in mid-summer.  He has a bit of a commute as the company offices are in Roy, UT but he likes what he is doing (he’s the database administrator/developer).  He works with Shauna’s brother-in-law and has a LOT of flexibility in his time.  He golfed as much as he could during good weather. This fall he was released from his calling the Young Men’s program at church—after serving in one position or another for about 7 years.  He was able to be in scouts and YM’s with Cameron from the time Cameron was 11.  He now serves as a Home Teaching District supervisor and Golf Merit Badge counselor. On Christmas day, he will hit the 10 year mark of being “soda-free”.  (He enjoys rubbing that in for my benefit.)

SHAUNA, mid-“I can’t be that old”, has been busy with her work at MedStar where her responsibilities increased in the spring and she has taken the roll of office manager but not the title.  That sounds too serious.  She has relinquished most of her PTA responsibilities as Cameron is a nearly done with school, but helps when she is needed.  She just completed her second year of teaching in Primary where she teaches the 8-9 year olds.  This year, the lessons have centered in stories of the Old Testament.  Her imagination and patience is tested each week with every lesson. She also finally admitted the need for reading glasses and has pairs stashed all over. She also gave up soda, again. (See above…)

JILL, or Hermana DeBuck as she is lately called, 19, began serving a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints in early September.  She first went to Mexico City for Spanish language training and in mid-October entered her field of service in Illinois where she is teaching the Gospel of Jesus Christ to our Spanish speaking brothers and sister in the heartland. Prior to her mission service, she finished a year at Utah State University where she participated with the Concrete Canoe Club in their award winning engineering marvel, made wonderful friends and determined she wants to pursue a double major (Bio-Chemistry/Biology) with the intent to work in the field of forensic genetics, hopefully for the CIA or FBI. She is happier than she has ever been, and loves serving the Lord.

CAMERON, 17, is a senior in high school.  He spent his year golfing, golfing, and golfing.  He really excelled too.  He played all spring and summer with the Utah Junior Golf Association and ended up 3^rd in his age group division.  He played courses all over the state including several trips to southern Utah to play in St. George.  He competed again on the high school golf team and had a great time, made a ton of friends from many schools and met several personal goals.  He began applying to colleges and, to no one’s surprise, is leaning heavily toward Dixie State or Southern Utah universities as he could play golf year round there.  He has been accepted to both already, and was recently offered a $2400/year 4 year academic scholarship to Dixie.  He’s waiting to see if SUU makes an offer, but we are thoroughly proud of his achievements and ambition.  He looks forward to studying nursing with an end goal of becoming a nurse anesthetist.  We are hopeful he will enjoy a year away at school and then choose to serve a mission like his sister before returning to school and his academic goals.

As a family, we are grateful to celebrate the birth of our Savior Jesus Christ with you at this special time of year.  We hope you know of our love for you, and our love for Him!  We know that He is the greatest gift ever given.  We wish for each of you a blessed, happy and joyful new year and thank you for your friendship, love and encouragement you’ve offered each of us over the year. 

Merry Christmas! 

Love, the DeBuck Family

How We've Spent Our December

 

There has been a sharp increase in teasing between these two...including, but not limited to, "bean-dipping", titty twisting, comparative competitive farting, and lengthy burping.
 

The Boy was invited to our HS's Preference dance--he went with this cute girl Alex Riddle.

 

 Their group Preference dance photo ended up in the school paper this week.  Nice bonus, huh?

I "won" tickets to the Mormon Tabernacle Choir's Christmas Concert.  Ticket are distributed randomly but you have to sign up.  Only 4 tickets per person, so they are a hot commodity when the concert is only performed three times.

 This year';s special guests were Santino Fontana--Prince Hans from the movie Frozen, and the Sesame Street Muppets!  Bert & Ernie, Big Bird, Grover, Cookie Monster, Emlo, Rosita, The Count, and Abby Cadabby.  Grover is my favorite.

 My two dates brought their electronic devices to keep them company.  They were not that excited to be there, at first.

 

 They put on a good front to make me think otherwise, once they realized that I had taken the previous photo.

 Our fourth ticket went to my darling friend Amy, who happens to also be The Boy's math teacher.  She told the class that she had a date with The Boy that evening, before amending her statement to mean The Boy's mom invited her to the concert with the family.  Things get pretty confusing with relationships in class expanding out of class for special events.

In addition to these things, we had a College Friend party that was in its 23rd year this month.

Genius Golfer's work party was at Snow Basin where we had a very long ride due to traffic, a lovely dinner and a fast ride home.

My work party was also this past week.  dinner was delicious and then I was in charge of games--a Christmas trivia game, and a White Elephant (left-right) story where GG came way with beautifully decorated rubber band ball and I brought home a man's Santa Thong.  Don't ask....

We all went to an opening day showing of the 3rd Hobbit movie. GG was thrilled, but I took a little nap--I'm embarrassed to say.  But the popcorn was good.  And New Zealand IS a beautiful place.

This weekend we are hosting a family dinner for Grandpa Herb on Sunday afternoon.

By then Christmas should be upon us.  I only have to work half a day on Christmas even and then pff of Christmas day.  Then back to work until the same thing happens for New Year's Eve and New Year's day.

In the middle we have a dear friend's mission farewell.  Then I think we are done celebrating. This month goes so fast, but the days go by so slowly.

How Many Years Until It Is a Tradition?!

Friday I went to the Festival of Trees.  Again.  I love this event.  It is a fundraiser for the Primary Children's Medical Center.  They do wonderful work for children all over the region here.  They are amazing and never turn a child away because of financial issues. This is one of their big events to keep that true year round.

Here are a few of my favorite shots this year:

Attending the Festival of Trees is always a good way for me to find the Christmas spirit.  It is one of my favorites things each year.

Feelings Demand Processing

I am fighting the feeling the guilt I am sensing because I haven't written in several weeks.  But I'm grateful for the relief it gives me to not feel the daily pressure.  I hope all of you (however few of you are left) that read my posting can overlook the lack of regularity and just know that I am processing  more than I get written each week.

In the weeks since I have written, I had an epiphany and even acted on it.

I realized that I have difficulty communicating with Genius Golfer at times, and I certainly don't receive communication in an easily comprehensible way from him.  So I scheduled an visit with my Bishop.  A bishop is our local congregational leader.  In our faith, this is a man who leads for a period of time--about 5 years, usually--as a volunteer.  He really doesn't have any specialized training like theological studies or anything like that, but his faith in the Savior is solid and his determination to follow God's commandments (and help others along the way) is sure.  As an added bonus in my case, he is also my neighbor--has been for almost 20 years--and I love him and his family.

So I made an appointment and when the time came I went in to visit.  We first visited about our respective children--his son is serving a mission in Europe and The Girl is serving in Illinois.  Once the chit-chat was done, he asked what I wanted to talk about.  I expressed to him that I have felt a need to seek guidance and advise for a mismatched communication level in my marriage.  I explained that I feel unequally yoked to Genius Golfer at times.  Intellectually, Spiritually, Emotionally, Physically.  We just don't seem to be on the same page.  And knowing that we are going to be sending The Boy off to the "next big thing" in his life far sooner than I am ready for, I was worried that the state of the relationship was in danger.

He gave me a reassuring smile and said that when he saw my name on the schedule that night, he had a feeling that I wanted to talk about this.  Considering that I hadn't told anyone one Earth about my concerns, I was impressed.  And I was comforted because I had laid open my heart to my Heavenly Father in prayer about these concerns for weeks, months, even.  I knew the Spirit had prompted him to know what I was coming in to talk with him about.  And that made me relax a bit.

Nothing ground breaking or earth shattering was disclosed, but my concerns were taken seriously and treated with respect and loving kindness.  He gave me a recommendation to visit with a counselor--a professional with marriage counseling credentials. Then he asked if I would visit with him throughout this time I was seeing the counselor, so he can keep the spiritual side in his line of sight.  He suggested that the counselor will help me learn some new techniques and develop some new communication tools to strengthen my marriage.  He gave me a priesthood blessing before I left and I felt a surge of love and encouragement from my Heavenly Father and the strength to continue the efforts of trying.

I love my husband.  I am committed to our marriage, 100%.  There is not a chance that I am giving in or giving up.  But I know that somehow I can figure out some way to both be striving for the best we have to offer each other.  And I have used up my current tool box.  It's time for some new tools. And that is what I'm looking forward to finding.

I'm looking forward to learning and developing and growing in order to learn and grown and develop with GG.  Anything worth holding on to is worth that.  And our marriage is worth all that and more.

Celebrating The Boy

The Boy took his final ACT test on October 25th.  Today the results came in.  It wasn't a new personal record, but it did match his highest score to date.  And for that, I was really proud of him.

A couple more points would have made a big difference in moving him to a full-ride situation next year.  But as it is, and depending on where he goes, he is already qualified for half and even a three-quarters tuition scholarship.  His GPA and the ACT score are combined by some universities to determine the scholarship a student can qualify for at admission.  He is well on his way to a college education.  And I couldn't be prouder of him.

He's paid close attention to his GPA and has worked very hard to keep it up and to do well in his classes--even the hard ones, like Calculus.  He's even studied for the ACT and took practice tests.  It is all good enough for me.

Tonight, The Boy and Genius Golfer and I went to dinner at our favorite Mexican place to celebrate the end of the testing and the start of the applications.  Where has the time gone!?

Shortening Fuses

I had so much to write this past week, but I deferred since it was mostly election related and I was smoking hot about that.  Nothing I voted for was passed, and so many of the candidates elected I just don't believe said anything honestly, but, I suspected, just to be elected.

The biggest gripe I had, however, was the lack of absentee ballot for The Girl.  I had submitted her paperwork applying for that easily 6 weeks ago and had the submission confirmed by the lieutenant governor's office at least a month before the election.  I was told by them that the county would send the ballot to our address.  I assumed--and that is were I made the blunder, as this is all election related, and therefore assumptions are immediately WRONG-- that I'd get the mail in ballot in time to send it to her and she could send it directly in from Illinois.  Nope.  We got nothing.

Finally a week before the election, knowing now the hope to send it to her and have her mail it in was passed, I had hoped to fill it out and drop it for her in time.  I called the county and was told that the final batch of ballots had already been mailed and that it should be there any time.  I gave the county office the benefit of the doubt, again, this was wishful thinking on my part.

Nothing on Saturday before election day.  Nothing Monday before elections day--and the ballot had to be postmarked by midnight that night. When I called Monday again to report that nothing had shown up, their answer was that my daughter could just show up at the polls and would not be turned away even with an absentee ballot request.  Isn't that the reason we asked for an absentee ballot?!? Because she COULDN'T just show up to vote?!?!

I was HIGHLY disappointed in our system.  Now there was no recourse and in our city bond vote, it failed with only about 700 votes separation.  If NO one else in town go their requested absentee ballots either, we might have had the win for the bond.  I felt very disenfranchised for her.

I know this is the greatest country in the world, but this past week I was questioning our society's roll in that country and her government.  I'm still not calmed down by the events that elapsed.  Give me another week or so on that.

The End of an Era

I had a surprise find its way into my schedule and my heart last week.  Tuesday The Boy was back to school after a long fall break weekend of golf in St George.  It had been his final tournament for the season and the first he allowed me to come watch.  But that is another story.

Following the season closure of golf, he was prepared to segue into the next sport, swimming.  He had spoken with our swim coach, Coach Lisa, prior to the swim season beginning and asked if he could join the team as soon as golf was over. He had rearranged his school schedule to the point that he has no A4 class assigned making it a seamless transition to the pool once his commitment to golf was over.  I had a very firm talk with him about only doing on sport at a time, but doing it 100%.  He agreed that last year his heart wasn't really into the swim season and was really there only for the friends and social aspect.  I told him that his team and his coach deserved more from him.  So this year's schedule and level of commitment was prepared to make that happen.

Tuesday last week he headed to school with a swim bag in his truck and a willing and ready hear to get into the new season with the swim team.  About 2:30 or so that afternoon I got a text from him asking if I wanted him to bring me a drink at work.  I texted back "Aren't you supposed to be at practice?"

The next thin I knew was The Boy arrived at my office with a diet coke in hand.  When I asked him about practice, he said that he'd been uninvited from the team.  I asked what happened and he said he didn't really know.  Coach Lisa asked to speak with him before he got into the water.  He complied.  She told him that since he wasn't there for the 2-a-days "hell week" of practices he couldn't join the team this season.

His teammates, when asked what was going on and The Boy told them he was off the team, began to demand a team vote.  The other two high school teams that share the pool jokingly asked their coaches if they could "adopt" him to their teams.  At least he knew his friends wanted him there.

I'm still not completely sure what happened to make this the outcome fro a senior who, while not a state qualifying swimmer, one who still has swam since he was about 7 years old with this coach.  She knows him, and she knows our family.

It stings a little when I think that my participation as a parent wasn't wanted enough to let him stay on the team.  It stings even more that even though he spoke with the coach before the season began, the coach can hold a grudge over something as simplistic as his choice to play another sport before hers.  No student athlete should be penalized because they give their all to another sport, during another season.

I don't understand, really. 

The Boy didn't expect to be a team captain, as a senior this year.  He didn't expect to be a member of the A relay team.  He has been happy to do his little part with the team, for the team.  He just wanted to be a member of this team he has been with since he was a sophomore.  He wanted to hang out with his friends, go to meets with them, and enjoy his final year of high school with good friends.  That is exactly what I hoped for him too.

 But just like that, we are no longer a swim family.  And that is what hurts the most.

Long Time, No Write?

Seeing as I haven't written anything here since October 8th, you may be wondering a few things. 

1) Did she fall off the face of the earth?

Possibly.  At least it feels like that some days.  But mostly it is my time is stretching thinner each day, it seems.  Writing for my own enjoyment, or even for posterity's sake, is being trumped by feeding my family, doing the minimum daily requirement cleaning,  or just stopping to catch my breath.

2) Does she not care anymore?

Sometimes this also is true.  Not that I don't care about the people who may or may not read what I write, but I have found myself caring less and less for the things that really rile me up that would otherwise have fed my fire to write.  Those kind of things are exhausting.  Caring sometimes is too taxing.

3) Is she too good for us now?

Heavens NO!  If anything my standards are slipping.  I have fallen off the soda wagon, good and hard.  I have become a slobbering soda drinking fool.  In fact I have even picked up a flavor--diet Dr. Pepper, or Diet Coke now fills my desires.  Sad, isn't it?  Five years sober, and now look at me.  I pity the fool.

4) Is she into stuff that is simply too embarrassing to write about?

Sadly, this isn't the reason either.  Frankly, if I had more exciting/embarrassing stuff to write about I might get the urge to write more often.  Instead, it is the daily, ho-hum, everydayness of my life that is keeping e from writing.  When the kids were little I kept a little notebook of the funny things they said or did.  That little notebook got increasing less used as the kids grew up.  They just didn't say or do things that seemed that cute anymore.  They are still delightful people, but they are more people that cuteness.

Trust me, there is embarrassing stuff happening all the time, but I am getting so used to it, it just doesn't seem worthy of writing.

5) She had better things to do, really?

No, not really.  I consider, and use this blog as a personal history site...a way to journal things that mean something to me. For a while, you may have noticed, the meaning left my writing.  Instead I was posting something simply because my goal was to write every day.  I met the immediate goal, but missed the long term mark. 

I do have some other priorities currently--check our Hermana DeBuck's mission blog, for example.  I am doing my best to keep that site current and loaded for the grandparents, primarily, to feel like they are hearing from The Girl in her newest adventure.

I am also trying to be more in the moment with The Boy.  The time I have with him at home is dwindling faster and faster.  As much as I want him to be ready to move on and have a great young adult life away at school, a mission, or wherever, I dread him leaving the house.  When I sit at the computer and write a blog post, I feel my heart being torn between fulfilling my need/desire to write and my need/desire to spend time with him--no matter what we might be doing.

As busy as I know I was before I worked--and I WAS busy, I know--"working busy" feels different.  Some days it is physical and others it is mental, but it relentless.  I enjoy what I do and feel I am making a difference at work, but I feel much more in a bubble than I did as a full time volunteer at school, or in the community.  There is a disconnect I am recognizing more and more as I just want to go home and stay home.  I make time to do things with friends, but I am growing the home-body side of my personally faster than my adventurous side.

So, friends, perhaps you can sense my dilemma.  I suppose my priorities have shifted.  Maybe my attitude is worse for the wear.  But hang in there with me.  This is likely a phase, and like all good phases, eventually I may grow out of it.  In case it isn't, just know that I enjoy having a place to sound off, share a feeling, express gratitude, and talk through a puzzling concept.  I enjoy having those things shared with you.  And I appreciate the broad range you allow me as I go through my life figuring it out as I go.

Really, isn't that what we are all doing?  I am not sure I know anyone who has it all figured out.  When I think that, I look at that person more closely and I come to find out that they are just better and hiding the confusion and insecurities than I am.  They are doing the best they can at that time too,  just like me.

I'm not giving this blog up, but I am giving myself permission to write when I really feel something.  I am not setting myself up to fail with empty posts just to have something on here every day.  Giving myself permission is a big step for me in figuring it all out. and I guess that is truly what this blog experiment was about in the first place.  A place to figure it out, and review and make adjustments.

Consider this the latest in my lifelong list of adjustments.  And I'll just keep figuring it out with you, one adjustment at a time.

False Alarm, Or, Wishful Thinking

So the meeting with Bishop last evening turned out to be a big misunderstanding on my part.  Sadly.  He just wanted to meet with us because they are going to make some changes that affect Genius Golfer's calling and he wanted to be sure GG didn't see this as a "firing" or sorts.

Weird.  I've never been invited to a "thanks for your service" pre-release pow wow with a bishop before--even for myself.  Much less for GG.

My charming and ever so sensitive spouse has held this over me for two days, since the text came to him.  I've been going through a bit of internal calesthetics trying to think and feel what I should be asked to do, and worse yet, coming up with tentative names for a presidency, if my gut was right.

And this morning I am slightly embarrassed, and worse, disappointed.  I was really looking forward to doing something different, anything different.

That sound pretty pathetic.

Instead, I have to put on my "big girl panties" and prepare to teach a small group of 8 & 9 year olds the stories of the prophet Elijah from the Old Testament on Sunday.  I guess the silver lining with this one is that it isn't David and Bathsheba.

Argh.

Tender Mercies

In the Book of Mormon, the ancient prophet Nephi introduces the term "tender mercies" when he speaks of the blessings the Lord kind of sprinkles around us.  Sometimes we see them right off.  Other times we have to open our eyes, become aware and recognize them for what they truly are.  They are definitely blessings, but we don't always see them immediately.  Those little coincidences that "just" happen,  or the "happenstance" that makes things work out for us, or the "serendipity" that find us better off than we were before are all examples of these tender mercies.

I love this idea of tender mercies, because at times it can feel like a hidden word puzzle--but it is like trying to find blessings the Lord has already given us.  Sometimes It is simply a mater of counting the things we notice as blessings, but other times there is no denying that we are blessed beyond what we deserve.  I think the Lord is just that generous with us. Plus, He will bless us as we do what He asks.

The reason this came up is that this past weekend we had General Conference.  I usually try to ponder some questions that I might have or issues I am struggling with or what have you and spiritual prepare myself to listen for answers to those kind of questions or conundrums.  When the kids were younger I felt like I had more questions that conference could even answer, but we all survive that period of family life and every is still speaking.  So I guess that worked out fine.  Lately my questions have been more inwardly directed.  "Am I doing all I can to show my love for God?"  "What else can I do to be a good example to those around me?" "How can I use my time better?"  "How can I be of better service to my neighbors, friends and family?"

This particular conference, with The Girl out of a full time mission, I had been mulling over how else I can represent my faith to others--on Facebook, on this blog, in my public interactions with people generally?  I discovered tender mercies for two days straight this weekend, and they primarily answered these kinds of questions.  Here is what I learned:

I need to speak out more boldly in my sharing of my faith with others.

I can put my faith out there without worrying what someone else may think of it, because it is MY faith.  I'm not coercing someone to convert or join.

Just because I haven't had great luck introducing my friends to the Church doesn't mean I haven't made any inroads.  I haven't heard of anyone agreeing to listen to the missionaries from something I said or wrote, but that doesn't mean my beliefs have gone unnoticed.

I want to share the Gospel of Jesus Christ, as I understand it, with others because I have felt a joy that comes from living it. It isn't a selfish reason, that is a completely UNselfish reason.

And, if something makes me happy, I would share that something with people I want to see happy--that is everyone I know and care about--so why wouldn't I want to share the doctrines of the Gospel with people when I know that God lives and loves me, and He answers my prayers.  His Son, Jesus Christ, is the Redeemer of the world--and my personal Savior as well. He was resurrected and gives each of us the chance to live again as well.  there is more to this life than just getting through it and He makes that possible for us. Because we have the restored priesthood of God--His power on the Earth today--we can be together forever with our families. 

These are the things that my faith has helped me recognize and unearth as tender mercies.  I see blessings all around me.  Why wouldn't I want to share this with others?  I want other people to be happy too? Recognizing that was a blessing too.

Living the gospel of Jesus Christ may not look or sound easy from the outside looking in, but I wouldn't have it any other way.  It is the source of happiness and joy to me--and I hope to my family.  But the best part is each person is able to ask and can receive and answer for themselves--if they sincerely ask, with real intent and having faith in Christ, God will make that answer known to them. I have nothing to do with them finding their own answer. You really can't get any more merciful than that.

Anticipation

Sunday night Genius Golfer got a text from a member of our ward who handles the Bishop's appointment schedule.  Brother H asked in the text if GG and I could meet with our Bishop Tuesday evening.  GG texted back that we would be there.

When GG reported this exchange with me, my first thought was "well, it is about time the gave him a new calling!  He's been stuck with the Young Men for as long--or longer--than The Boy have been there.  Then I felt the Spirit tell me, "Nope, it's you."


Now, I know I have mentioned that I have really stuggled to like Primary, much less loveit.  I had been in the stake Young Women presdiency for 6 years before begin released and called to teach Primary.  I still don't love it, but I didn't want to strangle ALL ym kids on the day of our Primary Program just over a week ago.  Dangit.  What if the Lord thinks I have acquiesced and kind of like this now?!?  No, He knows me better than that. Certainly whatever the new level of pressure is will help me learn to like it.


Great.  It'll probably be a Primary president gig or something equally horrible.


I'll know one way or the other Tuesday night.  In the meantime keep me in your prayers, would you?  I know I'll need them.  And, frankly, if it is my worst fear realized, the kids will need them too.

Difference Perspective Changes My Outlook & Attittude

Last week was one of the most scheduled busy weeks I've had in quite a while.  While most had to do with some new assignments at work, and the consequential "making up " regular work I missed while off on new assignments, the task I' want to share here was a volunteer gig.

Genius Golfer and I were asked to "chaperone" a dance on Friday night.  Now, with 15+ years of PTA work under my belt, I have chaperoned plenty of things--including dances at the high school.  But this one was different.  It was a singles dance for church.  It was for church members in the regional area aged 31 and above.

My first thought was, "Why do adults need a chaperone at their dance?"  Then I remembered, this will likely be less a "chaperone" assignment as a set-out-food-and-guard-it.  Like all church activities, there is food available, and there is always someone who scarfs down the food way beyond his portion allowed.

Our friends, Trevor and Janelle--another married couple from our ward, were also there, but Trevor was ultimately in charge of the whole things as his assignment on the high council includes the single adults.  At least I could visit with Janelle and catch up with a grown up outside of the Primary circle.  Plus volunteering is a good thing, in my opinion.

When we got there, GG and I got busy arranging food: fruit, chips, cookies.  Trevor was working on a chocolate fountain.  Then things started going wrong.  No DJ showed up.

Trevor, being in charge of this event, called another neighbor who has DJ'd in the past as has the equipment.  Dave was in Provo on a date with his wife Amy.  They rearranged their schedule to come back to PG and get a dance going.

While that was happening, the chocolate fountain quit working, while full of mostly melted chocolate.  GG and I ran home to unearth our fountain and bring it down to substitute.  Brush off the dust, we'll be fine.

As we sat that up and transferred the melty chocolate into the new fountain, the original DJ rolled in.  Uh oh.  Now we have potentially 2 DJs.  Trevor put out that fire by calling Dave back and apologizing and explaining the situation.  The original guy set up and never was the wiser.  Dave and Amy popped over to see the fallout and to talk to Trevor.  Sorry they had to cut their date night short, but at least they were willing to help.  Things happen, I figure.

People were beginning to arrive now.  Trevor handed me a metal badge with "USHER" boldly printed on it.  I laughed and said that was funny.  He told me "Nope, you'd better wear it or you'll get hit on."

I laughed out loud that time and told him I thought he was pulling my leg. He just insisted I wear it.  GG had one too as did Janelle.  We looked like we were part of a club.  But I put it on to be obedient.

Here is where the evening began to get crazy.

Before I knew it men were coming in asking where the rest of the food was.  we had directions to put the food out in one area and shut the door until 9:30.  There was an hour of dance instruction--like a dance class: foxtrot, waltz, line dances--while people were showing up.  The actual dance began about 9:30 or 10PM.

These guys were pressing harder for food.  Each time we politely told them not until 9:30, they had rude things to say.  This dance cost them $5 to get in, and as far as I could see, none of these vacuuming food dudes had even danced.  Cheap dinner, I guess.  But rude!

Finally, things got sorted out with the dancing, the food, and the DJ and all was beginning to run smoothly.  Trevor gave us instructions to walk the halls of the building occasionally to see that no one was heading into the darker corners.  Also, we have instruction to take a lap now and then to patrol the parking lot and exterior of the building for the same reasons.  Apparently, some men never learn that "No" means no and have tried to push their (percieved) advantage, so some of this was for safety but there was also the "church dance standards" to uphold here too. 

When I've done this job with the Youth (ages 12-18) we just didn't want them sneaking off to make out or something, but here we are talking about adults.  They should be mature enough not to do that in a church building, but I assume much with that thought.  With the Youth, there was never a white board a tthe entrance that had to read: Divorces MUST be Final. 

People ARE crazy, you know.

Anyway, the dance progressed.  Janelle and I took a loop in the gym where the dancing was happening.  After  a quick lap, we sat together in a corner to watch and chat.  Almost immediately after we started talking, a lovely gentleman of about 70 came up to ask us to dance.  (In his defense, I think he was making a lap himself, to be sure every lady had a chance to dance that wanted to.  Bless him.)  But being the married folks at this shin-dig, Janelle kindly pointed to her badge and said that we were there are ushers and, thank you but no.  He looked a little sheepish, but moved on to another lady sitting down on the outside of the dancing.

That wasn't the last of my attempted pick ups.  But it was the nicest.

At another point, I was bringing in a replacement fruit tray for the chocolate fountain and halfway into the door of the "food room" I had a gentleman (a term I use loosely here) of about 80+, standing with a single crutch, wearing grey sweat pants and a partially zipped hooded sweatshirt, with only some of his teeth, look as my chest (!!!!)--but not see my USHER badge--and ask me "How you doin?"  Ewww.  It was creepy. 

The evening seemed to move at a glacier pace until finally it was the last song of the night.  We had the last of the opened food out and I was past ready to clean up and go home.  Suddenly these people were grabbing two and three plates and loading them with all the food they could carry away with them.  I had others--women too this time--come into the kitchen and ask where the ziploc bags were as they wanted to take the veggies and fruit home with them.  Cookies were grabbed by the handful.  Cups were filled with grapes and pineapple and chips and cheese dip.  It was embarrassing, really.

These are gown, mature--in some cases VERY mature--adults. But I have seen better behavior at junior high dances.  Only one lady asked where the vacuum was hidden and she began to help clean up.  The rest fled with food in hand as fast as they could go. I was shocked and quite surprised that this sort of thing went on with grown ups.

We did finally get everything cleaned up and came home, but I learned something.  At some point during the night, I asked Trevor how he came to asking GG and I to help wit this.  Teasingly, he told me that he asked the bishop which couple was hitting s rough patch in their marriage and that was the couple they'd invite to help here.  Of course, he was kidding, but on the way home I thought about that.

I have never been more happy to be married to GG than I was that night.  I felt real sadness for my dear, darling, single girlfriends who are stuck with this kind of junior-high behavior peer group to try to look for a husband.  No wonder they were so discouraged.  And now, I knew that I couldn't just tell them to "hang in there" or "something will work out".  If this was the selection, they had no chance for someone normal, nice and well-mannered.

My only hope for them, and the men in their demographic is that the normal ones stayed home.  And that made me happier yet that I was home with GG and The Boy and never had to be in that group.  YOUNG single adults--the 18-30 group--was bad enough, once upon a time.

Just What The Doctor Ordered

I think I wrote about seeing a new doctor in August.  I wasn't having anything seriously wrong, I just felt off somehow.  My regular GP/family practitioner had told me (annually, in fact, at my check up, any time I mentioned any of these concerns) that it was all part of aging and I had to face facts that I was getting older and so was my body.  I didn't like that answer.  So I went somewhere else to get a second opinion.

Dr. A is a specialist in women's health.  She runs a women's clinic in Orem and also works part time in a large general practice--where she is one of the partners with my regular GP.  At the women's clinic she focuses on hormones related issues and some reproductive issues.  My concerns were leaning toward the hormone side of this equation.  She spent almost an hour with me at the first appointment, then she took blood for a variety of tests.

I had another follow up appointment scheduled for Sept 2nd, while I was already off work to be with The Girl.  In between the first appointment and the follow up, I received the standard EOB from my insurance.  There were three pages of blood tests done.  That is more than I have ever had.  Usually it is just the standard cholesterol/liver function/lipid panel.  Already this made me anxious to see what these new and different tests showed.

At my follow up appointment she walked me through each of these tests.  What they were checking for and what my results showed.  Then she went back through each test and we talked about steps to try to fix the problems they showed.  It wasn't all about prescribing new drugs either.  She actually dropped my statin dosage to one fourth what I have been on for about a decade.  That was a good sign.

She also showed me my heart was in great shape and, with our family history of heart disease and stroke, I was thrilled to hear that.

Then she got to the hormone issues.  My levels are not as far off as I had feared.  But they were off.  So far the things she asked me to try are over the counter herbal things.  I would have never thought to try the things she mentioned.  I just didn't understand how my body used these hormones.  In fact, i learned there are more hormones at work here than just estrogen, progesterone and testosterone. I knew there was more to them but I am beginning to understand my own body for the first time--and even in its aging state, its pretty amazing.

This week I have finally gotten on board with all the things she asked me to try. Some of them I had to order--SO much cheaper than our local health food store.  So far, they are making a positive difference.  I'm feeling more energy throughout the day.  I'm clearing out the foggy-brained feeling I'd get each morning.  I feel like I can deal with the stresses of my day to day life better. I feel more alert and connected to myself--does that even make sense?  And I feel my body becoming more settled with less of the food I used to eat.

I'm not saying I am losing a ton of weight.  I haven't been on a real scale since my last GP checkup, really.  But I don't feel like cravings taking over my life in the afternoons.  My body is functioning the way it did ten or fifteen years ago. Yes, my knees still "click" going up the stairs.  Sure I could stand to loose weight still--but THAT was not the only answer.  Sorry, Dr. GP...you were wrong there. There ARE other things going on here. And who knows?  Maybe the weight will start to fall off as I reset my eat patterns and metabolism--not through drugs, but with some nutritional education and additional understanding.

That is the next step of this process.  I am looking forward to making the small changes I need to reset my body's metabolism by changing the food I am eating.  That takes some will power, but more knowledge and understanding will do wonders with this step.  I'll keep you posted on how that goes.  I begin next week--assuming my book gets here tomorrow like it is supposed to.  Comes on, Amazon!

I just feel so much better knowing there is hope for changes I can do myself, without all the drugs.  An easy weight loss miracle pill is a nice pie-in-the-sky idea, but not happening.  I am excited to learn and come to understand this amazing machine I have possession of for the next 30-40+ years.  And here's hope for keeping it in prime working order for decades to come.

Good Reminder

Some times you just have to let things go, or get the monkeys on your side.

Catching Up Is Hard To Do

It seems like yesterday we took The Girl tot he airport and she headed off to her missionary adventure.  the intermediary time has been spent catching up--in every facets of my life.  I worked an 8 hour day last Saturday trying to get caught up.  I taught a Relief Society mini-class Tuesday about freezer meals for their provident living night.  Wednesday I met with one of my PTA cohorts and taught a quick lesson about keeping our PTA website--thus offering my first of many PTA bequests this year as I calmly withdraw myself as The Boy gets ready to graduate. I attended the temple in preparation for the stake and regional conference sessions we had this weekend.  And I spent about 4 hours cleaning up my house which had taken over by gross and filthy neglect. 

In fact, I need to insert a special apology to my parents--who, while they were here last weekend, shared the bathroom with the kids.  Prior to them arriving here, I asked both The Girl and The Boy to clean the bathroom and make it "clean enough for Grandma".  You know, that is a different level of clean than the run-of-the-mill weekend chore kind of clean.  Yesterday, I checked the kids' bathroom since The Boy was taking the ACT for the umteenth time, I thought I'd clean his bathroom for him.  EWWWW!  The shower curtain liner, while actually cream, was orange from the knee level down.  EEEEW!  I apologize.  I hadn't thought to check that before Mom and Dad got here.  That was thoroughly disgusting and I apologize that it was that nasty for your visit.  It is bleached and washed and disinfected but good now.

The other bit of the last ten days that I need to comment upon is Tuesday evening.  The Girl has her preparation day--only one day a week that give a missionary chance to email home, do their laundry, shopping and any other "preparation" for the week ahead--on Tuesday while she is in the MTC.  when she left, I knew that getting news fro her would be important--but I had assumed it was more for her to write home and give me direction for things she forgot--or needed somehow--as well as quick update on her doings and her safety.  Little did I realize that I would become absolutely giddy in hearing from The Girl.  I was thrilled to hear that she loved her compañera, that the food was good and she was enjoying her classes and language lessons.  I can only hope her letters will be as fun-filled and widely anticipated the duration of her mission.

In other news, our darling friend, Zack F.--the son of my best friend from high school--received his mission call this week as well.  He'll be serving in the Taiwan, Taichung mission beginning January 7th.  Another dear friend, well prepared and willing to serve The Lord.  It is invigorating to know all these friends serving simultaneously all around the world to bring God's children the hope and peace and happiness that is found in the restored Gospel of Jesus Christ.

Another dear friend, Josh V., entered the MTC in Provo--instead of the Mexico City MTC, as he was originally planning--due to a problem with his visa for leaving Mexico and serving in Ecuador.  This made some of The Girl's "plan B" of sending her forgotten items with him to give her impossible.  But his mission service was touching nonetheless.  I'm thrilled for him.  The afternoon his family took him to the MTC, I stopped by to visit with his mom, my dear friend, Wendy.  these two little pucks--the Girl and Josh--have been in school together for years.  Wendy and I served in the PTA for those same years, and since they both also swam for the team in the city and the HS, we have had a lot of common interests to support our kids.  I love my friend and her darling family.  I had a wonderful and enjoyable visit with her about her boy and The Girl and the adventures before them--and our families.

The other big event this weekend was our Stake Conference.  Six congregations met Saturday evening where we heard some wonderful messages.  It started out with a powerful musical number from the youth (12-18 year old Young Men and Young Women) of one of the congregations.  I love the youth of our stake.  That feeling hasn't left me even though I haven't served in the YW for two years now. 

The meeting was a wonderful reminder of our part in sharing the Gospel too.  While I have had missionary work on my mind lately, I forget that I can be part of that effort beyond sending The Girl out to serve full time.  I was prompted to do more to share what I believe.  That is a scary thought sometimes, but I know it is important to do.  Sometimes I just need a little more courage to share what I know.  I have it in me, but I get pretty comfortable where I am and take for granted I need to share that feeling of love and acceptance as a child of God  and the happiness that comes from obedience to God's commandments and in honoring the covenants I have made with Him.

Things don't really slow down this coming week.  I have things on the calendar every day this week, and that is what I already know.  Things will fill in even more as the week progresses.  I guess that is one way to pass The Girl's absence from us faster than it feels.

Let's hope the week teaches the good lessons I need to fulfill all that I need to be doing.  Where there is a will, there is a way.  And The Lord's way is better yet.

Exhaustion Doesn't Really Explain It

Getting The girl ready to go for her mission, and actually out the door and gone has been a long quest.  But this morning VERY early, it is done.  She's on her way and didn't even look back.  I'm her mom--I watched to see if she would!

We had a wonderful family filled, Spirit loaded, Christ centered weekend with her to see her off.  She spoke in our sacrament meeting  Sunday and her topic was "how the Young Women's program prepared me for a mission".  I'll need to thank the Bishop for his topici as I was a mushy woman through most of the meeting. 

I was so thrilled to see so many friends and family and friends we consider family there that day.  I was delighted to have SO many of The Girl's friend from work, school, swim and the ward stop in to the house after the meeting for lunch!  I'm so grateful for the family and friends that helped provide a delicious meal that day--and the leftovers we've enjoyed most of the weekend.

Monday was a holiday and we spent it standing in the sunshine for the Ogden Temple open house.  It was a longer wait than I anticipated but worth it when I had The Girl whisper to me, "Would you mind, when I got married, I got married here?  This is beautiful."  It really was.

Then Tuesday we filled with a lunch with cousins--both returned sister missionary--who had great advice for The Girl.  Then an afternoon movie about Joseph Smith and his call as a prophet for these last days while The Girl finalized her packing.  Then off to a marvelous experience with the stake president having Sister DeBuck set apart as a full time missionary.  Wow.  That capped the night.

A quick sleep--I was up at 2:40 AM--and a run to the airport where she headed out to learn and to serve.

Even after a morning nap, I feel exhausted, and still processing the whirlwind that was this summer with The Girl.  But I couldn't be more pleased with her choices and the blessing she is.

R.A.K. and the Payback Plan

I hadn't ever seen this acronym: R.A.K. but I recently experienced it Wednesday morning when I stopped for a diet coke refill on my way to work.  I filled my lime green insulated mug and stood in line to pay for it.  The gentleman ahead of me was quickly joined by his co-worker (they had on the same HVAC company shirts).  the gentleman at the front of  the line said he'd get his buddy's drink and chocolate do-nut and then added, "I'll pay for her drink as well.  What is that a 44?  A 64?"  He was indicating me with his head.  His smile was a big as all get out.

Once this kind gesture was recognized--it was morning, I was slow--I told him that wasn't necessary.  he said "Not much is necessary.  I'd like to pay fro your drink.  How big is your mug?"  That goofy grin only got bigger on his face.

I'm sure I was awkward and flustered and probably even blushed.  I stammered out that it was a 32 ounce mug, and a sincere "Thank you so much" and the two happy heating and air conditioning guys headed to their truck.

Paul, the local Gas 'N Sip cashier, who is delightful in his own way, mirrored the silly grin and wished me a very happy day.  I returned some kind of greeting and floated out to the car.

I'm pretty sure the gentleman who bought my drink would agree, but that was the best 95 cents he spent that whole day.  I was absolutely tickled that he did that for me, a total stranger.  And that he did something so simple with such sincere kindness was so meaningful to me.

I thought about it all the way into work.  In fact I was a little flustered still when I go there, thinking about this generous man who paid for my diet coke.  Small and simple things make big differences.

The thought stayed with me all day that he did this without obligation or expectation.  He did it because, from the looks of it, he enjoyed surprising people at the local Gas 'N Sip.  He probably felt so good about that!  He should, after all.  But maybe he didn't think about it again.

I couldn't stop thinking about it.

I've had people do nice things for me  before.  But these were friends, family, loved ones.  I have the best friends, family, and  loved ones.  They do wonderful things for me all the time.  And I do try to reciprocate those kindnesses.  But that was the difference.  This wasn't reciprocation.  This was a Random Act of Kindness.   R.A.K.  And RAKs deserve to be paid forward.

At work, I received a phone call from a good customer who had a small part on their wheelchair break.  She asked if I could just order the replacement part for her and drop ship it to her where she could fix the problem herself.  It was an easy fix.  After my Gas 'N Sip surprise experience I thought, I should be able to help this lady somehow and surprise her with a RAK of my own.

So I did.  And when our driver stopped by with the part she needed and no invoice or bill, she asked what she owed us.  He was pleased to tell her "Nothing!"  He said she smiled a big goofy grin at him.

The world would be a much happier place if we each passed on a big goofy grin.

New Doctor's Hope

I am generally a pretty healthy person.  Sure I can use to loose some weight, to eat more green leafy vegetables, cut back on the treats and give up Diet Coke (again), but generally healthy.

Last week I had a visit with a new doctor, who runs a women's health center.  She happens to be my boss's sister in law too.  I went thinking maybe I could have a conversation wherein I might voice concerns I have noticed in myself without having my GP tell me that is all because I'm "not as young as I used to be".

She spent about an hour plus a little bit with me.  She asked questions I hadn't thought of; she listened to my perceptions and symptoms; and she never once told me the cause was my age.  She just joked about how this kind of stuff I was worried about seems to show up just as I feel like I am old enough to know myself and what a bummer it all was.  She took some blood and together we determined--think of that: being an active participant in my health care!!--to have some tests done to determine hormone levels, as well as liver functions (which was about the only thing they ever tested me for previously).

I felt lighter just leaving her office.  Nothing had changed, but I felt like my observation about my own health were taken seriously.  Better yet, that there was hope to fix some of them.  Sure I still need to loose some weight--which she mentioned could happen by resetting my metabolism, which is out of whack because of some hormone issues as well as nutrition.  Sure she didn't want to hear that I was drinking diet coke--which she insisted I quit, as soon as I was ready again.  And sure, I need
more green leafy vegetables--but everyone does!

I can't begin to tell you how much better I felt mentally.  That in turn, affected my attitude, which in turn affected my outlook.  And that outlook is what is going to fuel some changes in my life that will affect the whole scenario again.  All for the better.

I feel better and she hasn't even given me a prescription or test result or even a real diagnosis yet.  Just hope.  And hope is a powerful tool to keep on hand.