Project Runway, NOT!

Missed posting yesterday, it appears.  I hate when that happens.  I didn't even have anything on the calendar--another "day off" so to speak, and yet I got busy doing stuff around here and missed writing.

Today has gotten away from me too, and while I have several things left to do, I would like to catch you up on a new hobby/obsession I have discovered.

It is called "Pinterest" and I must own that it is incredibly addictive and a huge time waster.  Even more than Facebook.  But there are moments of brilliance that come from it.

Essentially it is a "virtual bulletin board" where ideas, projects, photos, art, quotations, etc. etc. etc. are shared and you can "pin" something you like to your board for future reference.  I love the idea behind this, as I have files and file s and files saved to various folders on my computer for this exact purpose.  Someday I might need that project idea, or lesson help or DIY fix.  You never know.

Today, however, I actually DID one of those ideas...a 5 Minute skirt.  It is darling! 

So for all those minutes of looking at things I will never do, here was one that worked out great!  The best part is that The Girl is also making a few skirts (which she desperately needed for church) from ideas she found on Pinterest.  So, maybe it isn't a complete waste of time after all.

Is It Time, Already?

I recently got a call from a local woman who chaired the Strawberry Days committee for the past two years.

She asked if I was interested in continuing my "committee photographer" gig.

Then she told me that the first committee meeting would be at the end of the month. 

I had to ask her, "You mean January?" She said, "Yes." 

While she was quite kind in her response, I just can't wrap my brain around the idea that we are meeting six months before the week of Strawberry Days actually happens.  Really, I am just amazed that Strawberry Days is only six months ahead, already.  I guess it makes sense to give ourselves six months to get everything lined up, and ready to go.

But my gig really is just during the week itself, so the six months out kind of gives me the early-onset-impending-doom feeling.  But this will give me time to line up a couple of high school photography students to "intern" with me this year.  At least that is my hope.  I'll try to collect them as the semester gets going.  Maybe in a few weeks, or a couple months.  But definitely by June.

I guess it is good we are starting this early after all.

I Should Have Audited Parenting 101

I ran across this article last night.  In light of my parenting skills (or lack thereof, at the moment) this is not a surprise:I can't even fight correctly with my teen(s).  Some days I think "Que sera, sera."  I'm still wearing my tiara and sash.  Probably will be for while.  Figures.


Why A Teen Who Talks Back May Have A Bright Future



by PATTI NEIGHMOND (as broadcast on NPR's "All Things Considered")  January 3, 2012

If you're the parent of a teenager, you likely find yourself routinely embroiled in disputes with your child. Those disputes are the symbol of teen developmental separation from parents.


It's a vital part of growing up, but it can be extraordinarily wearing on parents. Now researchers suggest that those spats can be tamed and, in the process, provide a lifelong benefit to children.


Researchers from the University of Virginia recently published their findings in the journal Child Development. Psychologist Joseph P. Allen headed the study.


Allen says almost all parents and teenagers argue. But it's the quality of the arguments that makes all the difference.


"We tell parents to think of those arguments not as nuisance but as a critical training ground," he says. Such arguments, he says, are actually mini life lessons in how to disagree — a necessary skill later on in life with partners, friends and colleagues on the job.


Teens should be rewarded when arguing calmly and persuasively and not when they indulge in yelling, whining, threats or insults, he says.


In Allen's study, 157 13-year-olds were videotaped describing their biggest disagreement with their parents. The most common arguments were over grades, chores, money and friends. The tape was then played for both parent and teen.


"Parents reacted in a whole variety of ways. Some of them laughed uncomfortably; some rolled their eyes; and a number of them dove right in and said, 'OK, let's talk about this,'" he says.


It was the parents who said wanted to talk who were on the right track, says Allen. "We found that what a teen learned in handling these kinds of disagreements with their parents was exactly what they took into their peer world," with all its pressures to conform to risky behavior like drugs and alcohol.


Allen interviewed the teens again at ages 15 and 16. "The teens who learned to be calm and confident and persuasive with their parents acted the same way when they were with their peers," he says. They were able to confidently disagree, saying 'no' when offered alcohol or drugs. In fact, they were 40 percent more likely to say 'no' than kids who didn't argue with their parents.


For other kids, it was an entirely different story. "They would back down right away," says Allen, saying they felt it pointless to argue with their parents. This kind of passivity was taken directly into peer groups, where these teens were more likely to acquiesce when offered drugs or alcohol. "These were the teens we worried about," he says.


Bottom line: Effective arguing acted as something of an inoculation against negative peer pressure. Kids who felt confident to express themselves to their parents also felt confident being honest with their friends.


So, ironically the best thing parents can do is help their teenager argue more effectively. For this, Allen offers one word: listen.


In the study, when parents listened to their kids, their kids listened back. They didn't necessarily always agree, he says. But if one or the other made a good point, they would acknowledge that point. "They weren't just trying to fight each other at every step and wear each other down. They were really trying to persuade the other person."


Acceptable argument might go something like this: 'How about if my curfew's a half hour later but I agree that I'll text you or I'll agree that I'll stay in certain places and you'll know where I'll be; or how about I prove to you I can handle it for three weeks before we make a final decision about it."


Again, parents won't necessarily agree. But "they'll get across the message that they take their kids point of view seriously and honestly consider what they have to say," Allen says.


Child psychologist Richard Weissbourd says the findings bolster earlier research that finds that "parents who really respect their kids' thinking and their kids' input are much more likely to have kids who end up being independent thinkers and who are able to resist peer groups."


Weissbourd points to one dramatic study that analyzed parental relationships of Dutch citizens who ended up protecting Jews during World War II. They were parents who encouraged independent thinking, even if it differed from their own.


So the next time your teenager huffs and puffs and starts to argue, you might just step back for a minute, take a breath yourself, and try to listen. It may be one of the best lessons you teach your child.

"Fiddle-Dee-Dee, I'll Think About That Tomorrah"

I'm having a Scarlett O'Hara thought pattern this week.  You remember Scarlett?

When she couldn't deal with the stress of the blasted Yankees in her dearest Tara, or her dearest Rhett not "giving a damn", she'd "Fiddle-Dee-Dee" it out her mid until she could handle it.  Can't say I blame the girl.  It is a brilliant strategy.

I'm employing it right now.  This week.

Thursday I have a meeting with our YW presidency, and the rest of the stake officers, in preparation for a ward conference on Sunday.  We will be visiting and ministering some individuals in that ward in small groups.  Basically the purpose here is to let these particular young women know we love them and to see if there is anything we can do to bring them closer to Christ.  That is a tall order.

I have an assignment connected to preparing for that meeting, as well as the teaching opportunity I will have on Sunday when we teach all the YW in this ward, but I can't get to that assignment until, at the earliest, tomorrow, or maybe Thursday morning.  This delay is due to the assignments I have had yesterday and still today with my PTA job(s).

The way I figure it, everything I do can--at its roots--be boiled down to service, so it isn't like I am choosing between burning Atlanta or serving in the Confederate hospital.  It is all good stuff.  But it also all takes my time.  Throw in a little laundry, (Oh, who am I kidding?!  When is laundry ever "little"?) and dinner, and groceries, and all the regular cooking and cleaning and homemaking I am supposed to do by virtue of my position of full time wife and mother.  And the time frame gets a little tense.

It will all get done.  It always does.  But for today, and most of the week, I am taking a 'Scarlett'.  I'll think about it tomorrah!

Hello, I'll Be the Killer of Your Dreams This Evening

Tonight The Boy went to complete meltdown mode just as dinner was starting.  It wasn't the terrific a dinner, but it didn't deserve a meltdown.

Actually I asked him, again, about when he will be retaking his Biology exam from just before the Christmas break.  The semester ends Friday and he has a B+ in the class but the exam was graded to be a D, and he has a chance to make it up.  You do see my point here, I hope.

My issue with this is I have been hounding him since we got home from Florida to study.  But this is his grade, in his class, and it will go on his high school transcript.  Not mine.

He thinks he wants to go to BYU (still not sure of his motivation on this choice) but a B+ may keep him out of BYU.  It is very competitive to get in--especially for the numbers of students from around here who are trying to get in. 

So I reminded him of that fact. 

And he almost burst into tears, but held it in long enough to raise his voice and tell me sternly "You like to kill my dream, don't you?!"  And with that, he dramatically swept from the kitchen and upstairs to his room, presumably to pout.

Yep.  Give me a tiara and a sash.  I have just won the price.

Video Sunday

Just a reminder that the season is upon us: let the Church Ball season begin!  Hahaha!  The only fight/basket-brawl that begins with prayer!