OK, my post yesterday was a vent...and the dis about Mother's Day was bound to happen. But the moment after I wrote that and posted it, I read an article that has since made me rethink my feelings about motherhood.
In this article, the author spoke of the story in Matthew 25 that we generally think of in terms of charity. Mothers are good at "Clothing the naked, feeding the hungry...." They do it all the time. But how many of us have ever thought that WE are also those"whom ye saw naked, and clothed" or "hungered and fed"?
Maybe we need to cut ourselves a little slack.
I don't imagine any mom worth the title gets up any morning of her children's lives and wondered how she could ruin her kid that day. We each try really hard to do the best we can. No, we aren't perfect at it, but it isn't for lack of trying.
Most moms--especially the ones I really admire--work very hard to do the best they can for each of her children. And that best isn't always the same for each child. She is personalizing her mothering for each one. Honing in on what will assist and teach and develop her child--one child at a time.
So, I apologize for the snippy Mother's Day remark, and vow that tomorrow I will do my best to cut myself and everyone else I know a little more slack about our parenting behaviors. But that doesn't mean I have to like singing "Love at Home".
Saturday, May 7, 2011
Friday, May 6, 2011
Is It Friday YET?!
This has been an incredibly long week. At least it feels like it. I can't tell yet if that is the burnout I am still experiencing from last weekend's big events, or if I have just gotten older and I am more tired and more easily irritable.
I have increased the mileage I am walking each week--I did 3.64 miles yesterday and back to 2.67 today...but my weekly average is way up. And my mind is running faster than that, as it seems to have much to retain and remember and prod me to get done.
I was so tired that last evening I fell asleep watching mindless TV with Genius Golfer, who, I suspect, might have wanted to get frisky after the show. What a sad wife I am. Then I sat up awake for another hour being mad at myself for NOT giving him the time he needs. I mean, he was home before 9 PM for crying out loud. I would have been nice to spend some of that time consciously with him
Afterschool yesterday seemed to be the breaking point for me.
The Girl skipped swim practice so she could study and review and study some more for her AP Government exam that is coming on Tuesday. The Boy, on the other hand, plopped himself down in his usual seat in front of the TV and tried to load a gift card for another twelve months on his Xbox Live account--so he can play some war game that I hate with his cousins and friends online from the comfort of his own TV chair. Well, he couldn't get the Xbox to recognize his account since he couldn't remember his password.
Now, as an organized mom I have a special place where I keep all the kids' computer/electronics info so, in the event such as this, I could help him. But the little nerd never gave me his Xbox info. (Probably thought I'd sabotage his account--'cause I really don't like this game, but no one listened to mean 'ole mom--and he is probably right about the potential for sabotage.) So I had nothing to help him. He called GG and railed on him for tricks to open this (dumb) Xbox account. When GG didn't have anything for him to try, The Boy came back to yell at me.
Now, I can take it when they have good reason to yell at me. And to be honest, they generally do have some good reasons, some times. But this was not one of those times.
Anyhoo, he kept trying different potential passwords and after about 45 minutes of weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth, he finally guessed correctly. And he got on to play that insipid game.
Fast forward a bit--about 5, I leave The Girl to study, and I leave The Boy with a reminder that he has X, Y, and Z chores to get done tonight. I take off to help set up and host a dinner for the Leaders of, the Moms of, and the Young Women in our stake that are graduating from HS. I was gone for about 3 1/2 hours.
I got home to a house that hasn't been touched since I left--with the exception of part of the lawn that had been poorly mowed and not cleaned up or swept or finished in any way. Blinds were still open. Porch lights were not on. Dishes were not finished. But that blasted game was still on and going...like the Energizer Bunny was playing it. And I guess, he was, just in a different form: The Boy!
I was ticked.
Genius Golfer had beaten me home by about 15 minutes. It was clear his day at work wasn't much better than my afternoon with the Bedlamites we are raising. And the joy of motherhood was sucked from my life for a moment. It was so disappointing.
Now, The Boy did sheepishly come and try to apologize, once I yelled at him to shut off that ridiculous game and get his stuff done, shocking him back to reality. But by then, I was ready to give up. Throw in the towel. Raise the white flag.
Friday couldn't come soon enough for me.
And some of my friends and family wonder why I hate the song "Love at Home" with such a passion?!?! Mother's Day (and the whole idea around it) is just a reminder of the things that I am not doing well enough--i.e., controlling my temper, teaching moderation or responsibility or thoughtfulness or accountability, being a good example of kind, loving, nurturing parenting.
Wake me when it is Tuesday.
I have increased the mileage I am walking each week--I did 3.64 miles yesterday and back to 2.67 today...but my weekly average is way up. And my mind is running faster than that, as it seems to have much to retain and remember and prod me to get done.
I was so tired that last evening I fell asleep watching mindless TV with Genius Golfer, who, I suspect, might have wanted to get frisky after the show. What a sad wife I am. Then I sat up awake for another hour being mad at myself for NOT giving him the time he needs. I mean, he was home before 9 PM for crying out loud. I would have been nice to spend some of that time consciously with him
Afterschool yesterday seemed to be the breaking point for me.
The Girl skipped swim practice so she could study and review and study some more for her AP Government exam that is coming on Tuesday. The Boy, on the other hand, plopped himself down in his usual seat in front of the TV and tried to load a gift card for another twelve months on his Xbox Live account--so he can play some war game that I hate with his cousins and friends online from the comfort of his own TV chair. Well, he couldn't get the Xbox to recognize his account since he couldn't remember his password.
Now, as an organized mom I have a special place where I keep all the kids' computer/electronics info so, in the event such as this, I could help him. But the little nerd never gave me his Xbox info. (Probably thought I'd sabotage his account--'cause I really don't like this game, but no one listened to mean 'ole mom--and he is probably right about the potential for sabotage.) So I had nothing to help him. He called GG and railed on him for tricks to open this (dumb) Xbox account. When GG didn't have anything for him to try, The Boy came back to yell at me.
Now, I can take it when they have good reason to yell at me. And to be honest, they generally do have some good reasons, some times. But this was not one of those times.
Anyhoo, he kept trying different potential passwords and after about 45 minutes of weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth, he finally guessed correctly. And he got on to play that insipid game.
Fast forward a bit--about 5, I leave The Girl to study, and I leave The Boy with a reminder that he has X, Y, and Z chores to get done tonight. I take off to help set up and host a dinner for the Leaders of, the Moms of, and the Young Women in our stake that are graduating from HS. I was gone for about 3 1/2 hours.
I got home to a house that hasn't been touched since I left--with the exception of part of the lawn that had been poorly mowed and not cleaned up or swept or finished in any way. Blinds were still open. Porch lights were not on. Dishes were not finished. But that blasted game was still on and going...like the Energizer Bunny was playing it. And I guess, he was, just in a different form: The Boy!
I was ticked.
Genius Golfer had beaten me home by about 15 minutes. It was clear his day at work wasn't much better than my afternoon with the Bedlamites we are raising. And the joy of motherhood was sucked from my life for a moment. It was so disappointing.
Now, The Boy did sheepishly come and try to apologize, once I yelled at him to shut off that ridiculous game and get his stuff done, shocking him back to reality. But by then, I was ready to give up. Throw in the towel. Raise the white flag.
Friday couldn't come soon enough for me.
And some of my friends and family wonder why I hate the song "Love at Home" with such a passion?!?! Mother's Day (and the whole idea around it) is just a reminder of the things that I am not doing well enough--i.e., controlling my temper, teaching moderation or responsibility or thoughtfulness or accountability, being a good example of kind, loving, nurturing parenting.
Wake me when it is Tuesday.
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Cinco de Mayo
I had great plans to write a flowing ode to Mexican cuisine today, but I just spent about an hour washing all of winter off my car. The car looks great and the residue of winter is now officially gone from my life.
Maybe now Ican get on with the thoughts of salsa and chips, guacamole and carne asada, chili verde and good old fashion tacos and burritos.
Good thing I already had lunch.
Maybe now Ican get on with the thoughts of salsa and chips, guacamole and carne asada, chili verde and good old fashion tacos and burritos.
Good thing I already had lunch.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Should'a Had a Camera
Today I took my daily walk at lunchtime, rather than first thing in the morning. I had more "first of the day" things to do today, so it got bumped.
Now, I am kind of glad I did, or I wouldn't have seen it.
Three or four bus loads of kids were lunching at our local Discover Park. Many were wearing their Hope of America t-shirts, as today is the annual fifth grade performance of that program at the Marriot Center. If I recall correctly, the kids head down during the day and rehearse together and then parents bring them back to Provo for the performance.
But that wasn't the funny thing at the park.
Just off the parking lot area, a little ways form the buses, was a guy dressed to the nines, as a Star Wars Storm Trooper--minus the weapon. He was chatting with a small ring of kids.
What?!
Yes. That is what I saw. And it made me smile, despite the weird randomness of it. After all, today is May the Fourth.
Now, I am kind of glad I did, or I wouldn't have seen it.
Three or four bus loads of kids were lunching at our local Discover Park. Many were wearing their Hope of America t-shirts, as today is the annual fifth grade performance of that program at the Marriot Center. If I recall correctly, the kids head down during the day and rehearse together and then parents bring them back to Provo for the performance.
But that wasn't the funny thing at the park.
Just off the parking lot area, a little ways form the buses, was a guy dressed to the nines, as a Star Wars Storm Trooper--minus the weapon. He was chatting with a small ring of kids.
What?!
Yes. That is what I saw. And it made me smile, despite the weird randomness of it. After all, today is May the Fourth.
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
To Celebrate or Not?
"I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy. Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that." --Martin Luther King, Jr.
I have been a little uncomfortable about the celebration that have been going on over the capture and death of Osama bin Laden that was announced Sunday night. Seeing Americans cheering and chanting in the streets is not too unlike the cheering and chanting the extremists throughout the world do anytime they can see the Americans take a backward shot. They did that after the 9/11 attacks, and it made me mad then. As other things affected the US negatively, they'd cheer and celebrate and I just felt discouraged.
That said, I am not unhappy about his death. He is one person who deserves to meet his maker and answer for his actions sooner than later. But I just didn't feel like running right out and jumping up and down and celebrating.
I did think of all the people who died on the hijacked planes. I thought of the loved ones who served that day as first responders who put their lives below those they tried to save. I thought of the men, women and children who were hurt or killed in the towers, the Pentagon, or that Pennsylvania field. I thought of all their survivors.
I did wish for justice, but that justice, for me at least, didn't require a spontaneous street celebration. Life is precious--but peace is pricey too.
I have been a little uncomfortable about the celebration that have been going on over the capture and death of Osama bin Laden that was announced Sunday night. Seeing Americans cheering and chanting in the streets is not too unlike the cheering and chanting the extremists throughout the world do anytime they can see the Americans take a backward shot. They did that after the 9/11 attacks, and it made me mad then. As other things affected the US negatively, they'd cheer and celebrate and I just felt discouraged.
That said, I am not unhappy about his death. He is one person who deserves to meet his maker and answer for his actions sooner than later. But I just didn't feel like running right out and jumping up and down and celebrating.
I did think of all the people who died on the hijacked planes. I thought of the loved ones who served that day as first responders who put their lives below those they tried to save. I thought of the men, women and children who were hurt or killed in the towers, the Pentagon, or that Pennsylvania field. I thought of all their survivors.
I did wish for justice, but that justice, for me at least, didn't require a spontaneous street celebration. Life is precious--but peace is pricey too.
Monday, May 2, 2011
Supercalifrajlistikexpialidocius!
Boy did we have a great weekend here this weekend. It was crazy, loud, tender, proud, spiritual, fun, filled with family and friends, and not quite as we expected. These kind of weekends never are.
My parents came to town on Thursday night. It has been many, many month since they were here last. It was great to see them. And a little startling too. You know when you see your parents and you suddenly realize they are mortal and won't always be with you? I had that wake-up call this weekend. But it was so good to see them, and have them here with us.
Friday was The Boy's birthday. The day itself was crazy--a quest to the big city in search of some dialysis product my dad had accidently left at home, that he needed each night they were away from home. Luckily a kind woman at a dialysis center in Salt Lake said she had some and had enough for their whole trip and THEN didn't even charge us for them. I love seeing the good in people!
Then, mission accomplished, we grabbed dear friend Taffy for a visit to the temple where we did some work for her family members. It was pretty neat being in the temple with my own parents, sitting in proxy for other daughters with them as proxy for other parents. It was a tender time for me.
That evening we went to dinner all together for The Boy's birthday. He ate like a horse...or a pig, whichever eats more. But it was good company and good food.
Then Saturday there were errands to run, chores to do, cake to be picked up at Costco, preparations to be made and even some down time to nap or watch a movie. Check, check, check.
Sunday, was spectacular. And it began with a 7 AM meeting for me. Our Stake Youth Committee is about 7 weeks away from a Youth Conference we haven't even got definitively planned yet.
Then, I met everyone at home and we visited with our stake patriarch for The Girl to receive her Patriarchal Blessing. He was so kind and so warm and so sweet. It was easy to feel the Spirit as we visited all together with him and he and his good wife spoke of their mission in Russia and how much they loved the Russian people. then he proceeded to give her the most beautiful blessing, full of promises and gifts, and reaffirming all the things I loved about her. Awesome. Truly.
Then church was pretty good and following church, The Boy was ordained to the office a teacher. All his six male cousins were able to stand in the circle for that. It was tremendous to see that. He also received a lovely blessing at the hands of his dad, Genius Golfer.
After that we all came back to the house for a luncheon. The cousins entertained themselves and had a great time together--they always do! Lots of visiting and a little relaxing. Then a few got scout uniforms on and we all headed back over to the church for The Eagle Court of Honor.
We filled the Primary room with friends and family and neighbors! The support was great and The Boy was presented with his Eagle Rank. The Girl had prepared a slideshow to share, but we had a few technical difficulties. Cousin Bryce helped out The Girl, after good neighbor Russ saved the day with a laptop loan, and even though the songs were out of order, the slide show went off and everyone was able to see what The Boy had done in scouts and for his project.
We ended the day with cake and some clean up and came home. We put our feet up for a little bit and just relished the day.
You know, there aren't many days that good in this life. But this one already is a treasured memory for me. My family was there, we are healthy, the kids were doing great things, the Spirit confirmed all the good things we felt and I headed to bed. Just as soon as I'd done that, the news broke in that Osama bin Laden was dead.
Wowzer, what a day!
My parents came to town on Thursday night. It has been many, many month since they were here last. It was great to see them. And a little startling too. You know when you see your parents and you suddenly realize they are mortal and won't always be with you? I had that wake-up call this weekend. But it was so good to see them, and have them here with us.
Friday was The Boy's birthday. The day itself was crazy--a quest to the big city in search of some dialysis product my dad had accidently left at home, that he needed each night they were away from home. Luckily a kind woman at a dialysis center in Salt Lake said she had some and had enough for their whole trip and THEN didn't even charge us for them. I love seeing the good in people!
Then, mission accomplished, we grabbed dear friend Taffy for a visit to the temple where we did some work for her family members. It was pretty neat being in the temple with my own parents, sitting in proxy for other daughters with them as proxy for other parents. It was a tender time for me.
That evening we went to dinner all together for The Boy's birthday. He ate like a horse...or a pig, whichever eats more. But it was good company and good food.
Then Saturday there were errands to run, chores to do, cake to be picked up at Costco, preparations to be made and even some down time to nap or watch a movie. Check, check, check.
Sunday, was spectacular. And it began with a 7 AM meeting for me. Our Stake Youth Committee is about 7 weeks away from a Youth Conference we haven't even got definitively planned yet.
Then, I met everyone at home and we visited with our stake patriarch for The Girl to receive her Patriarchal Blessing. He was so kind and so warm and so sweet. It was easy to feel the Spirit as we visited all together with him and he and his good wife spoke of their mission in Russia and how much they loved the Russian people. then he proceeded to give her the most beautiful blessing, full of promises and gifts, and reaffirming all the things I loved about her. Awesome. Truly.
Then church was pretty good and following church, The Boy was ordained to the office a teacher. All his six male cousins were able to stand in the circle for that. It was tremendous to see that. He also received a lovely blessing at the hands of his dad, Genius Golfer.
After that we all came back to the house for a luncheon. The cousins entertained themselves and had a great time together--they always do! Lots of visiting and a little relaxing. Then a few got scout uniforms on and we all headed back over to the church for The Eagle Court of Honor.
We filled the Primary room with friends and family and neighbors! The support was great and The Boy was presented with his Eagle Rank. The Girl had prepared a slideshow to share, but we had a few technical difficulties. Cousin Bryce helped out The Girl, after good neighbor Russ saved the day with a laptop loan, and even though the songs were out of order, the slide show went off and everyone was able to see what The Boy had done in scouts and for his project.
We ended the day with cake and some clean up and came home. We put our feet up for a little bit and just relished the day.
You know, there aren't many days that good in this life. But this one already is a treasured memory for me. My family was there, we are healthy, the kids were doing great things, the Spirit confirmed all the good things we felt and I headed to bed. Just as soon as I'd done that, the news broke in that Osama bin Laden was dead.
Wowzer, what a day!
Sunday, May 1, 2011
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