Sorry for missing yesterday's post again. I have had a lot on my mind, but nothing that settled into a clear stream of thoughts.
Today The Girl and I worked our summer rec swim team's fundraiser--the PG Triathlon. This year--for the first time ever--we drove the Bike Support truck. Its a first because we have never had a truck before and usually I help at the registration booths writing entrant's numbers on their calves and triceps with a sharpie. But times are a changing, and someone else had that job today.
Frankly, the times are a changin' faster than i would like sometimes. I realized that the next swim meet that is at our pool is the same day as our Girl's Getaway Weekend and I won't be there to run the bull pen. And you know what? I don't even feel guilty. Well, I do a little bit. But it won't stop me from going anyway.
That is a big change for me. Unusual, and big.
Guilt is a strong motivator for me, sadly. I had the kids DefCon 3 threats earlier this week and it spilled into my work life--so I made cookies after being sent home to deal with my kids and brought "apology cookies" with me the next day.
I feel guilty about leaving The Boy while I go to work and worry that my working might have something to do with his recently discovered issues with inappropriate phone etiquette and compute ruse. I haven't figured out how to fix it yet, but I don't think it should mean quitting my job.
I sign off all our PTA finances for this past year on Monday and turn it over to the new board and I only have a little guilt about that. But its been working on me just the same.
I probably need therapy and since that isn't going to happen, I will probably just eat something that is bad fro me and feel guilty over that. From all the guilt I dole out to myself, you might think I was raised Jewish. But I come by this naturally, and all on my own.
Saturday, June 29, 2013
Thursday, June 27, 2013
Science of Siblings
Did you see the news lately that getting along with siblings will provide a template for all your other relationships in life? It was in the latest Parade magazine that comes with the Sunday papers. HERE is the link to the article.
It made me think that maybe the kids will be OK. They get along fairly well with each other most of the time. However, even when they argue and fight they have also had to learn how to work it out, make up and apologize to and forgive each other. That is a basic life lesson, right?
I don't think my sister and I fit that mold. We did very little together growing up--except fighting. We did a lot of that. We argued and quarreled and fought and then ignored and avoided and dismissed. No wonder my parents were shaking their heads all the time at us.
I hope she and I have overcome most of that now that we are grown ups. We tried really hard, especially for the sake of our kids, that the cousins to learn to love and care for each other--and it worked really pretty well until her divorce and the turmoil that naturally comes from that kind of disruption in family life.
We probably still have scars from the years we grew up in the same house. And I know there are scars left from her marriage dissolving and the damage left in its wake. And then we all suffer scars from just living life. But I do love her and her boys and want her to be happy. And I believe she feels the same for me. But we aren't really close. We talk on the phone when there is something to say or ask or tell.
Maybe in that way my own kids will be more successful as siblings. They choose to do things together more often than not. And until The Girl leave in August for university life, I hope that will continue. After that, well, The Boy is going to be stuck with his parents. Poor kids. he is going to be wishing for more sibling-time.
It made me think that maybe the kids will be OK. They get along fairly well with each other most of the time. However, even when they argue and fight they have also had to learn how to work it out, make up and apologize to and forgive each other. That is a basic life lesson, right?
I don't think my sister and I fit that mold. We did very little together growing up--except fighting. We did a lot of that. We argued and quarreled and fought and then ignored and avoided and dismissed. No wonder my parents were shaking their heads all the time at us.
I hope she and I have overcome most of that now that we are grown ups. We tried really hard, especially for the sake of our kids, that the cousins to learn to love and care for each other--and it worked really pretty well until her divorce and the turmoil that naturally comes from that kind of disruption in family life.
We probably still have scars from the years we grew up in the same house. And I know there are scars left from her marriage dissolving and the damage left in its wake. And then we all suffer scars from just living life. But I do love her and her boys and want her to be happy. And I believe she feels the same for me. But we aren't really close. We talk on the phone when there is something to say or ask or tell.
Maybe in that way my own kids will be more successful as siblings. They choose to do things together more often than not. And until The Girl leave in August for university life, I hope that will continue. After that, well, The Boy is going to be stuck with his parents. Poor kids. he is going to be wishing for more sibling-time.
Wednesday, June 26, 2013
A Friend Who Understands
A few days ago I happened to run into a dear friend who, without any prompting from me, opened up about her son and his attempt to overcome a pornography habit. She felt like a failure as a parent. Yet she has been one of the most involved and committed parent I know. She has had wonderfully open relationships with her children--to the point that I have been wishing my relationships were more like theirs. She and her good husband are technologically aware and keep up all the recommended safety points to keep their kids safe. But even with all that he still got into trouble with this insidious technological poison.
Having her say something made me feel like I have an ally--as a mom with a son who has gotten into a spot of bother with this type of thing too. No one talks about it. Not in terms of "here's how do you deal with it once it has found you". There is a lot of "here's how you avoid it" but even if you do those things, there isn't a absolute promise of it passing over your home. That is where the fear of parental failure comes to a concerned mom.
This good woman shared with me some of the things they have done to try to help their son develop tools and skills to maneuver through life where a phone is a valuable tool, where a computer is a necessary home appliance and an expected work format. These THINGS are going away in his life so their attitude is to help him know how to avoid the trouble that could be available at the touch of a key while still living with the tools that could bring that into his life.
For us, The Boy has faced things that are hard before, and with continued love and support and maybe some extra techniques and tools he can overcome this too and be worthy for a mission and prepared to meet life head on too. This dear friend's son is a brilliant kid, with a very right future. But every son (and even some daughters) in every family will have to figure out how to get through life with the technology that could be the access point for all sorts of evil. Luckily for all of us, we understand that Jesus Christ has the perfect solution to all things that hurt us, block us, and drop us to our knees. His Atonement is the only way to overcome. With His love and a personal experience with His Atonement, everyone can give up the issues they struggle with, and can find peace that only He offers.
My dear friend and her wonderful son will also be in my prayers along with The Boy and his group of buddies.
Having her say something made me feel like I have an ally--as a mom with a son who has gotten into a spot of bother with this type of thing too. No one talks about it. Not in terms of "here's how do you deal with it once it has found you". There is a lot of "here's how you avoid it" but even if you do those things, there isn't a absolute promise of it passing over your home. That is where the fear of parental failure comes to a concerned mom.
This good woman shared with me some of the things they have done to try to help their son develop tools and skills to maneuver through life where a phone is a valuable tool, where a computer is a necessary home appliance and an expected work format. These THINGS are going away in his life so their attitude is to help him know how to avoid the trouble that could be available at the touch of a key while still living with the tools that could bring that into his life.
For us, The Boy has faced things that are hard before, and with continued love and support and maybe some extra techniques and tools he can overcome this too and be worthy for a mission and prepared to meet life head on too. This dear friend's son is a brilliant kid, with a very right future. But every son (and even some daughters) in every family will have to figure out how to get through life with the technology that could be the access point for all sorts of evil. Luckily for all of us, we understand that Jesus Christ has the perfect solution to all things that hurt us, block us, and drop us to our knees. His Atonement is the only way to overcome. With His love and a personal experience with His Atonement, everyone can give up the issues they struggle with, and can find peace that only He offers.
My dear friend and her wonderful son will also be in my prayers along with The Boy and his group of buddies.
Tuesday, June 25, 2013
Just One More
Last week was our city's Strawberry Days festival. And The Girl and The Boy spent much of the week serving our community with the city's Youth Court. I did not do a single thing in association with the festival this year. And frankly, I missed it. But I was so exhausted with just work and home stuff that I didn't have any extra energy I could have spent on it anyway.
But the best part, in my opinion, was as great surprise on Saturday night at the final night of the Rodeo. The Girl was awarded one of the three Community Service scholarships given by the Strawberry Days committee.
That is a great way to cap off the week of celebration!
But the best part, in my opinion, was as great surprise on Saturday night at the final night of the Rodeo. The Girl was awarded one of the three Community Service scholarships given by the Strawberry Days committee.
That is a great way to cap off the week of celebration!
Monday, June 24, 2013
Making the Change...Taking the Plunge
Today is the day. We are getting rid of the satellite TV and Netflix. We will be left with the local channels for news and PBS for Masterpiece theater. So I guess I'm in good shape. Genius Golfer, however, might go through withdrawl. He is the Golf Channel's biggest fan. And it is in the pile we are cutting out.
After a family discussion about what priorities we really have versus what priorities we seem to have, this was one of the changes we decided to make. Plus it will save some money--and I'm not complaining about that.
Wish us luck. And please don't give away any spoilers to good shows. We might not get to see them until they are available to rent at RedBox.
After a family discussion about what priorities we really have versus what priorities we seem to have, this was one of the changes we decided to make. Plus it will save some money--and I'm not complaining about that.
Wish us luck. And please don't give away any spoilers to good shows. We might not get to see them until they are available to rent at RedBox.
Sunday, June 23, 2013
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
