#52 Stories--Story #49

What were your best years in school and why? Did you have a great circle of friends, wonderful teachers, curriculum that interested you, involvement in clubs, or teams?

I had a great time in junior high and high school.  I know so many people HATED junior high., but I really had a great time there.  And high school was a lot of fun too.

I feel like I made several friends, but only a small group of close friends.  The majority if those friends were friends from church. These are the ones that we did things together after school hours. These were the ones that threw and attended parties, and had activities around town and throughout the stake.

I feel lucky that I enjoyed most all my teachers. Again, I had a small group of truly influential and mentoring teachers, both in junior high and high school. I especially felt close to Mr. Maya the HS drama teacher,  Mr. Robb, the choir teacher, and Mrs. Goodrich, my US History teacher and Mrs. Serigstad, our economics teacher. I was grateful for so many with a wide variety of backgrounds and outlooks on the world. I learned a great deal from them all. And enjoyed an association with some wonderful characters.

Another Difference Noticed

Today I had several seventh grader-moms coming to the junior high to help with the Seventh Graders' End of Year Party/Activity.  You can tell that for most of these moms, this is their oldest child.  I was asked questions about "What station do I need to run?"  Or "When do they rotate stations?"  You see most of these ladies were assuming that 7th grade end of year party is like an elementary school field day.

Oh, no, no, no.  It is much easier than that.

In fact, the only "station" we really had was a Battleship Water Balloon game set up that worked in about 50 kids each run--and with water balloons involved that station was always full.  Other than that the kids could play dodge ball--they had two playground kind of rubber balls to use, or three friz-bees, or a football.  Or we had music playing-The Girl was our DJ, and did great, by the way!  And most of the kids sat around or hung out with friend, enjoying the sunshine and the hour they had to themselves out of class.

Certainly, a difference between PTA at the junior high, and the PTA at the elementary schools.  And High School, PTA is even easier, I mean, better!

Who Answers the Call of the Wild?

Who chooses to have 1400+ pubescent junior high students (one half at a time), one week or so away from the end of school, on a hot sunny day, to swarm you with money and Viking Bucks seeking candy, rewards, validation, and attention during their lunch period and you are the only one to answer their call of the wild?

I'll tell you, since I just returned from this exact scenario unscathed and essentially unhurt.  And I will confess to being a sweaty pig-dog, however, who is very tired.

I do this.  For fun.  Of my own volition.

It was the last day of sucker sales and Viking Store today at the junior high.  (Viking Store, for those of you who don't know) is a rewards station for the kids to bring their teacher awarded viking bucks and redeem them for treats, toys, books, writing utensils, etc. It is open each week on Tuesdays during the two lunch periods and staffed by PTA volunteers.

Except today.  First lunch was staffed by me.  And later an assistant principal took pity on me and came over to help.  I guilted-in some help for the 2nd lunch, but the first lunch is mostly seventh graders--who are closer aligned to Africanized bees than humans at this point int he school year.  I felt like I was the center of their swarm.

Overall the kids are great.  And the rewards system in place is great.  And our opportunity to sell suckers for the PTA fundraiser each week is really great.  But roll that all together and put one tired-because-its-the-end-of-the-year PTA president and I easily could have become their Queen.

Let's just say that it is a very good thing that it was our last day.  I'm too pooped to party.  But it is good to be queen, I guess.

Lacking Frontal Lobe Update

Friday morning I was back at the junior high to clean up our sucker sales mess and to count the deposit from the previous two nights.  When I got there, the front office secretaries told me I had a little note waiting for me too.  Joy.  Not many guesses needed to figure out who left it for me.

It was my not-BFF Lexi, the potty mouthed 8th grader.  Her note was folded all cute, like my actual, real BFF in junior high used to leave me back in the day.  I'll share with you what she wrote, with her original spelling and grammar intact.  There are more things to be concerned for with this girl, I'm afraid:

im sorryisaid you were  a btich Ilost track of my emotions.  I promase I want Do it agian-I never act like that at conserts you just caught me offgard and I really mean i m sorry I Dont mean anthing i said I just lost someone I really loved anDit was my mom and I got upset cause a year ago my mom died over a heartatack and  I lost her bu beforthat she told me she would come to all my conserts and last ones and I got mad and took it out on you anDIm realy sorry I lov how you volunteerd to be at the consert I really appreasiate it., thankyou have a good day --lexie

Overlooking the appalling spelling, grammar, and punctuation, I don't really believe this girl. She told the principal, the night of the incident, her swearing wasn't really to me but at her friend about her stepmom. Now, her "apology" feeds me this sob story?  Well, I guess she is figuring out she made a bad choice and this,perhaps, was part of her consequence.  But still.

I only have two more concerts to cover at the junior high this year.  They are for band and orchestra, which aren't nearly as high-drama as the choirs.  So I should make it.  Plus, this kind of stuff just makes me all the more grateful for my own kids--who aren't perfect--but already demonstrate better self control and interpersonal respect than this sad 8th grader.

I Blame The Under-Developed Frontal Lobe

The past two nights I have been at our Junior High helping with the Choir Concerts.  My part in this event is essentially a "bouncer"...or "policing the hallway".  There were up to six different groups that performed (the beginning and advanced choirs sang Wednesday night, the 4 advanced only on Thursday).  This is not a job for the faint of heart.

It is also a job that firmly establishes why so many parents want nothing to do in terms of volunteering at the Junior High.

The first night the Beginning Girls and the Beginning Boy choruses are full of mostly 7th graders.  This is generally the first experience these kids have with performing arts.  And certainly the semester's performances are the first many of these kids have had to present themselves in front of an audience--and, consequently, the waiting to go on backstage.  This was my mission, and I chose to accept.  What was I thinking?!

Seventh graders in early May are sweaty, hot, hormone-driven lunatics.  Actually, all Junior high students fit that description--regardless of their grade.  But these Sevies were really on edge Wednesday night.  There was flirting and teasing abounding.  It was also nauseating.

But one flirty situation parlayed itself into trouble the following night.  One of the 8th grade girls, who was singing with the Advanced Women's Chorus--let's call her Lexi, since that is her name--was backstage with the beginning boys 7th grade group, flirting like there was no tomorrow.  Her flirting was not just distracting to the three or so boys hovering around Lexi, but was starkly against the rules that had been set by their teacher: only the group waiting to go on will be in the hallway and will be silent.

Fail.

When I asked her to go away and leave the boys in peace so they can be ready to sing, she got increasing belligerent.  She didn't mask the idea that she was upset with me enforcing the "law of the hallway".

When the beginning groups were done, and the short intermission was over, she was still giving me crusty looks as the advanced choirs took the stage in turn.  I've had worse.  It wasn't that big of a deal to report her after the show to the director.

Last night, however, was a different story.

I had been at the choir room doorway, waiting to hear the last minute directions the teacher gave the advanced groups (as the beginning kids were off the hook last night) so I knew what to enforce.  I wasn't there even 10 minutes when Lexi saw me and immediately crusted her look again, and mouthed to me "You're a  B_#*%!"  I smiled, nodded my head and mouthed back to her, "Yes, I am and I will be watching you all night!"

In a few minutes the principal showed up to check on things, and I  while we waited for the teacher to finish warming up the groups, I shared with him Lexi's line-crossing behavior.  He was livid.  This girl was not a first time visitor with the good principal, and he called her out of the group as soon as the warm up was finished for a little talking to.

A few minutes later, he called me to fill in the details of the night before, which I did.  Then he turned to Lexi and asked her why she had just lied to him about what happened.  Her story changed pretty fast...and comically, if you ask me.  He sent her back to the choir room to wait for him.

He consulted with me about whether to keep her from singing tonight, hurting her parents--should have happened to attend, or wait until Friday morning and let her have it during school.  I told him I didn't have an opinion on this, but was just sorry he had to deal with it at all.  In the end he opted for the Friday morning principal's office visit with her to set a punishment.

Before the night was over, she had missed her cue to get onstage and sing.  She blamed the principal for making her late to the stage...funny, since his conversation with her was over before the show began.  But, since she missed her cue, she will now have to deal with the choir teacher's consequence as well as the principal's this morning.

Junior high kids--teenagers in general--certainly can be idiots.  But it helps when you have a crazy home life on top of bad behavior at school, and poor academic achievements.  Heaven help the junior high faculty and staff.  And PTSA volunteers.

Mom, In The Trenches

Last night was the junior high's Grand Concert.  It is a fundraising concert by all the music department at our junior high.  I was one of two "chaperones" AKA "back stage bouncers". 

For the most part, the kids are really great.  They are excited to sing/play/perform for their families.  But sometimes I realize that I do things like this just so I can appreciate my own kids more for their better-than-average behavior (most of the time).

We had a group of Concert choir girls--8th and 9th graders--who were belligerent and outright naughty.  They were supposed to stay in the choir room, or, because it gets so warm in there with so many sweaty-teen-aged bodies, outside on the grassy front lawn of the school if they weren't onstage performing.  I spent most of the night following them and telling them to get back to where they belonged.  (And not like the Beatles: ♫ "Get back...to where you once belonged" ♫).

Before the finale I told the choir director that I would commend the other groups for their backstage behavior, but the Concert Choir girls earned themselves a "D" for behavior.  He gave them a talking to before they went onstage, but I am sure they will hear more about it before tonight's final concert performance.  At least, I hope so.  Otherwise, I will need more Tylenol.

Choose Your Side

Today was the first day in our Junior High's Red Ribbon Week.  That is a week of activities and assemblies to encourage the students to make good, healthy choices--to stay away from drugs and alcohol and tobacco.  It is in commemoration of a DEA agent who was killed in the line of duty many years ago.  PTA supports Red Ribbon Weeks each year in schools across the country.

Today was our first day.  It was pledge day and the day we introduced the theme.  As junior high student seem to need a little more connection, our fabulous RRW chairperson came up with the theme linked to the movie that came out this summer: "Transformers: Protect or Destroy".  In the movie some of the robots are good and they fight those that aren't.  The Decepicons (the bad guys) are out to destroy, while the Autobots (the good guys) fight to protect.  Good theme for junior high, right?

Today during the lunch times we had "transformers" out on the driveway for the kids to see up close and personal.  These aer local cars who look like the movie "characters".  They kids don't care--they just see cool cars.  Also, we had a pledge poster for the kids to sign--indicating their pledge to stay drug-,  alcohol-, and tobacco-free.  If they signed the poster, they got a little candy treat.

Here's the thing about junior high kids.  If there is candy, they cannot think about anything else.  We had kids sign the poster six or seven times thinking that they were entitled to six or seven little treats.  Somehow they missed the whole "pledge" part of this exercise.

And here's the part that really gets me.  These kids, who are simply asked to pledge to do healthy things--making good choices that will benefit them--immediately want to know "what do I get if I do that?" and/or think they are entitled to take as much candy as they want, regardless of how many other students we are trying to accommodate.  I guess I shouldn't be surprised.  Kids are kids, I guess.  But if my own kids acted like these punks, they'd have me to deal with at home for their arrogant and selfish behavior.

Too bad we can't get the parents on board with us in this kind of effort.  But RRW isn't about making sensitive and compassionate choices.  It's just to stay away from drugs and alcohol.

I did have one young woman stop to tell me that she'd sign the poster even without a treat.  When I asked her why, she told me that her uncle in heavily addicted to drugs and she has seen what his choices have done to his life and their family.  If only all kids would have that kind of clarity.

Deep breath, as today was only the beginning.

Deer In The Headlights

Today we had day two of Vision Screening at the junior high school.  My job was to check the kids in against the class list, and then to ask if they had contacts or glasses already--meaning "Are you wearing contacts or should you be wearing glasses?"

More times than I can count, I was met with a glassy stare in answer to that question.  What is wrong with these people?  Am I saying it too quickly?  Is it not coming out like a question?

"Contacts or Glasses?"  People!  This isn't a menu option.  I'm asking if you are wearing contacts or if you have glasses I cannot see on your face.  Not difficult questions. I guess it is yet another example of a teenager who has an underdeveloped frontal lobe . 

But dang, they are funny to watch.

The Best PTA Gig EVER

Today finished out a fabulous Teacher Appreciation Week at our junior high school.  Our faculty and staff have been celebrated all week long with a) lunch brought in after a tremendous local restaurant donated it, b) another restaurant donated brownies and tartlets for desserts another day, and c) yet another donated fabulously tasty rolls an honey butter for part of a lunch treat on another day. 
Today's pièce de résistance was the delivery of gift baskets created and donated for each teacher by parents of students who signed up to help.  With all the imagination and support the PTA families could provide, there were some terrific basket brought in.  And I was part of the little group that got to deliver them to the teachers in their classrooms.

Best. PTA job. Ever.

I have always imagined that the best job in America would be the florist's delivery guy.  He is there to make some one's day, or surprise them, or tell them someone loves them, or that they are really, really wonderful.  Delivering the teacher's baskets was a little like being the florist's delivery guy for a day.

One teacher said, with tears in her eyes, "Oh, this is too much! Thank you!"

Another said, and this is a direct quote: "Dynamite!!"

Yet from others I heard, "Holy cow!!" or  "Terrific!" or  "You just made my day!"

It was so fun to respond with, "Well, it is teacher appreciation week and you are certainly appreciated at our school!"

Of course, I can't take credit for the baskets themselves--well, I did put together one.   But I saw each of them as we sorted them for "delivery routes" and they indeed were terrific and dynamite!

How nice that we can celebrate the great teachers (who do so much for our kids every day) one week in the Spring when the promise of Spring Break is now over, the state core and end of year testing looms in the near future, and springtime hormones are kicking into high gear for the perpetually pubescent students in 7th, 8th and 9th grades.  We probably should at least feed these good teachers once a week or so until school's out!

Should I Stay or Should I Go Now?!

Today is another day at the junior high PTA Sucker Table. Generally this is an enjoyable way to spend an hour or so. This week I am dreading it.

You see, last week I was a bit on edge and I let that affect my behavior there.

We were just a pair working last week, and when you have 20 kids surrounding the table with only two of you working and the money box is directly behind you up against the wall and everyone is yelling or talking loudly and there is lots of commotion, it is a little unnerving.

One child (I keep reminding myself they ARE children still) interrupted, quite rudely, while I was helping another kid with their purchase, and demanded the money from the till. Now, in actuality, he demanded the nickels, but it is the same idea. I told him no and that I can't give him the money.

Now, normally when a kid does that, it is meant jokingly and they get a reaction and they are done and they give it up.

This kid never backed off and instead, ratcheted up the belligerence. After a couple of intensified exchanges I told him to "Back off" in no uncertain terms. Now my job here was being completely derailed and my mind was racing about how much I would really like to throw this kid over my knee and give him a good beating. He obviously needed that! Still he would not leave it alone.

Luckily, Dear Friend Sandy was working with me and she calmly helped all the crazy kids at the table while I poked my finger into this kid's chest, stepping him back three or four strides and gave him that icy look I have nearly perfected with my own kids. Still, he did not back off. Plus, he threw in that now I was sexually harassing him and he could get me arrested.

That was it. I began to march myself down the hallway to find Mr. Principal who usually comes by to see how things are going for us. Today of all days, I couldn't find him.

In the moment that I walked away from this weenie kid, Sandy told him to get away from the table and go around the corner. He argued that his friends were here by the table so he wasn't going anywhere. She told him again to go around the corner and his friends would follow.

They eased away from the table but still near enough that I could hear their comments about me and about the situation and his grand plans to have me arrested on his delusional charges. I could feel my blood pressure rising. I'd have loved to smack this kid.

Finally an assistant principal came by and Sandy told him what was going on and then SHE identified this kid and then the AP gave him a talking too. Apparently he is no longer allowed to be at our end of the hallway--like a Sucker Table Restraining Order.

We'll see how it goes today. I feel like I am living the lyrics of the Clash: "Should I stay or should I go now? If I go there will be trouble....if I stay there will be double." Great! My junior high volunteerism is now a song by the Clash. It figures though. Junior High is like adolescent Outer Darkness. I should be surprised that this is the first Sucker Table Restraining Order I have had to ask for.

True Story

This was my costume for Halloween yesterday--I'm Robin Hood. I try to make a costume that is appropriate to wear to school and that I can move around in freely and that is comfortable, as I am usually in it all day.

I wore this to my shift at the Junior High.I had left my bow and quiver in the car while at the school. I met my PTA friend Taffy there, who was wearing her best Jamaican Rastafarian outfit.
I was explaining that I left my arrows and bow in the car to Taffy just as Mr. E, the principal, came by our table. Our other PTA friend, Sandy, who was working with us, asked him if he had confiscated any weapons yet at school today and he told us he had: a toy rifle, a play handgun and a set of handcuffs.

Then he sarcastically added, looking at Taffy and myself, "Now all I need is drugs and weapons from the PTA and my day will be complete."

Hahahaha. Junior High school principals have to have a good sense of humor!

Hey! I Know You!

One of my favorite perks from my time at the schools is when I get some little student who recognizes me but just can't place from where they know me. I had this happen yesterday.

As you may know, I help the PTSA sell suckers at the Junior High every Friday. But yesterday I was helping on an off day with their Red Ribbon Week. I was in charge of a bean bag toss game (of sorts). I spent two lunch periods stooping over and over again to pick up little bean bags/hacky sacks from around the target and handling out very tiny Tootsie roll-type candies to a ton of junior high kids.

The Boy, meanwhile, got stung by a bee on his ear (?!) at lunch recess and had toughed it out as long as he could and called for me to come get him. By the time I got him all checked out, legally, and he got his stuff and met me in the office, it was nearing time for the elementary school to let kids out anyway.

A smaller collective of junior high kids generally show up each day at the elementary to pickup brothers, sisters, cousins, or neighbors and walk home all together. It is nice to see, actually.
One of these seventh graders was talking with her friend when she noticed me waiting for The Boy.

"Hey, I know you!" They always begin this way. I love the dawning comprehension and the recognition they own when they announce it.

"Sure," I try to help her. "I've done PTA stuff here for nine years now."

"No, I didn't go to school here. I'm just hanging out with my friend."

"Then, you must have seen me at the junior high today during lunch. I was helping with Red Ribbon Week games."

"No, I stayed inside at lunch today."

"Then maybe you know me from the sucker table on Fridays at the junior high."

"No, I would remember you from that. I don't usually get to buy a sucker."

"Is it from soccer? Did you play soccer this summer?"

"No, no soccer."

"Did you swim on the swim team this summer? I helped with meets for the city team."

"No, I didn't swim on the team."

"Well, I went to pool a bit with my kids. Maybe you saw me there."

"No, I didn't go very often."

"Well," I try to offer kindly, "Maybe you have seen me, but just can't remember from where."

"Wait," she calls as I am headed to the door with The Boy in all his stingy soreness.

"Hey, aren't you, like, from the, uhm, like from my, uhhh, you know, from camp! That is it. You were at Girl's Camp!"

"That must be it. I am in the Stake Young Women's presidency and you must have seen me at camp. You must have had fun, then, huh?"

"Yeah, it was great. I knew I knew you from somewhere."

Exchanges like that remind me how important it is to be a good example--no matter where I am. Just like I tell my kids, "I know a lot of moms and they know who you are and they will tell me if you are fooling around!" I try to scare them into not choosing badly. I hope by now I am a better "show you know" kind of example than not. At least, the kids who have these kinds of conversations with me, know that I was kind to them--mostly--and in reality care about their well being. The ones that think otherwise, were probably trying to steal suckers!