#52 Stories--Story # 33

Who are some other important mother figures who have been influential in your life?

I feel like I was very lucky to have many women who modeled wonderful examples of womanhood and motherhood to me as I was growing up.  I'm luckier yet to call them my friends now.

I had a spattering of marvelous young women leaders--Irene Day, Diane Sefton, Toni Zamarron, Cindy Anderson, Sister Nordstrom, Lucia Cooper, and others--I'm sure more names will come to me as the days go by this month.  I spent many weeks of girls camps, Wednesday activities, and Sundays being guided by these wonderful ladies. They showed me how to be a woman of faith, a woman who trusts her Heavenly Father, who knows Jesus Christ and chooses to follow Him. They helped me develop a testimony of my own.  I'd have to include my mom in this group too, because she spent much of these years with me in some supportive role.  She's the best example of all.

I also had some wonderful teachers elsewhere in my life.  Stacy Thacker was a stand out Sunday School teacher as a young teen.  I knew that she knew the Gospel was true and she tried her hardest each week to get us to understand that same truth. 

Teddy Goodrich and Nancy Serigstad were female high school teachers that meant a lot to me. I learned more than just textbook material from them. They made me want to be a teacher someday.

I also had some neighbors and 4H leaders that showed me leaderships styles in the community and wider world. MaryLou Rawitser was our goat leader.  I'm sure she had better things to do with her time, but she was there with us each weekend the goats were showed.  Georgene Abbott was another 4H leader who taught me perseverance and stick-to-it-ive-ness.  Diane Scariot showed me another view of hard work and care of family. Kathy Larsen was a mom who had fun with her family and supported her girls in whatever they had going on.

Then I had a group of women who were friends' moms--who I maybe didn't have the same kind of relationship as their child, but I felt keenly their love for me.  Shari Hoggan, Jan Porter, Diane Sefton and Irene Day--fell in this category too, and Claudia Kambish, to name a few off the top of my head.  I knew they loved their kids--and counted me in that group more often than not.

I have been greatly blessed by so many wonderful women as I was growing up.  I am not sure they all understand how important and valuable they are to me.  I hope I have done my best to make them proud of me and that my own kids will have women just like them in their lives to teach them similar lessons.

Needed To Hear It Again

Since the new Ensign magazine arrived at our home, I have made it a goal to read one talk a day and ponder the messages from October's General Conference one at a time.  This morning I read Elder Christofferson's "The Moral Force of Women".  (You can review it HERE.)

I remember hearing it during conference as I watched it live on TV, and wondered how many of the "Ordain Women" sisters he was speaking to.  A cynical thought, I know, but that was what I had thought at the time.

This morning, however, I read his words and heard them as if they were given to teach ME.  As I read this morning, I realized that I really want to be like Sister Daines, whom Elder Christofferson wrote about as having influenced him for good when hew as growing up.  I had a member of our stake presidency tell me that much when I served in our Stake YW presidency--that I would have a lasting influence for good on the kids we worked with during our term of service.  I hope that is true.

As my favorite TREK "sons" have been returning home from missions--another returned home last night, in fact--I hope that they still know that I love them and just how very proud I am of them, how much they inspire me and how much I admire their willingness to serve the Lord.

I thought of the time I have had to spend in my children's schools and of the kids I had an opportunity to see on a regular basis there.  I hope they could feel God's love through my service to them.  I hope they learned from what I did and the efforts we made as PTA members and leaders to build them up and give them more chances to learn.

Elder Christofferson said:

"Former Young Women general president Margaret D. Nadauld taught: “The world has enough women who are tough; we need women who are tender. There are enough women who are coarse; we need women who are kind. There are enough women who are rude; we need women who are refined. We have enough women of fame and fortune; we need more women of faith. We have enough greed; we need more goodness. We have enough vanity; we need more virtue. We have enough popularity; we need more purity.”¹⁰ In blurring feminine and masculine differences, we lose the distinct, complementary gifts of women and men that together produce a greater whole.

"My plea to women and girls today is to protect and cultivate the moral force that is within you. Preserve that innate virtue and the unique gifts you bring with you into the world. Your intuition is to do good and to be good, and as you follow the Holy Spirit, your moral authority and influence will grow. To the young women I say, don’t lose that moral force even before you have it in full measure. Take particular care that your language is clean, not coarse; that your dress reflects modesty, not vanity; and that your conduct manifests purity, not promiscuity. You cannot lift others to virtue on the one hand if you are entertaining vice on the other.".

I hope I will be remembered as one who tried to make the world -- or at least the little part where I get to be -- a little better than it would have been if I wasn't there.  But most of all, I hope that I have done something good, something that my Heavenly Father is pleased with and that I will be able to answer for happily at the judgement of the Lord.

Lessons From Our Stake Women's Conference

Today was the annual stake Relief Society women's conference. I was asked to help with the luncheon committee, so I was going--no matter how warm and snug my bed was this morning.  And, really, I was so blessed to be there.  I love meetings/activities/events that do that for me.

We had four classes and had to choose three.  I do hate that part, since every presenter is always wonderful.  But there you go.  Life is full of tough choices, isn't it?  Anyway, as a member of the luncheon committee we only got to go to one and a half presentations since we then were needed in the kitchen to finish setting up the luncheon.

I chose to go to the full version of "Becoming Guardians of the Hearth" that was given by one of the Stake presidency counselors and his wife.  They are lovely and always ask just the right questions to make you think.  In their presentation we talked about what a "hearth" is and what a "guardian" is, both figuratively and literally.  Then they turned it back to us.  "How can we--individually--be the guardian of the hearth in our homes, for ourselves and our families?" they asked.

First we are responsible for our own relationship with God.  We must know WHO we are...and that message was echoed several times to me.  (Perhaps, this is because of my struggles with why I'm in Primary right now.)  We must be anchored to the Gospel of Jesus Christ and keep things of life in proper perspective.  We have a duty to sanctify ourselves to God, to humble ourselves so the Spirit can offer insight and influence to us.

President P had us recall the New Testament story of Jesus going for 40 days into the wilderness to fast and pray and prepare for His earthly ministry.  I've heard this story many, many times but never thought of it as a pattern to follow in our lives.

After that kind of physical and spiritual cleansing, the first interaction He had as he is prepared to teach His gospel is with Satan who immediate tempts him with food--his physical strength making him more susceptible to this temptation.  Do we control our physical desires, or do they control us?

Then Satan asked Jesus about who He really was--"If thou art the Son of God...."  He uses the same diversionary tactics to keep us from seeing who we really are.

And finally, Satan offered Jesus the world and its power and influence, as that is what Satan felt was his domain and not Jesus'.  How often are we tempted by the power and influence of the world?  Satan still considers himself the "God of this world" and will use his every wile to get us to follow him.

They asked us, if our families require protection, what are we doing to protect them?

One dear sister--whom I admire and love--said that she would remind her kids when they let the house to be consistent in their behavior by telling them "Be ye therefore perfect...." and they knew that she meant for them to choose the best behavior, choices, friends, etc each day.  I know other families tell each other to "Remember who you are" or "Return with honor".  All these little mantras keep remind our families that they are made for higher things than this earth.

Our homes must have a good feeling in them to have our families wanting to be there...Love and the Spirit of the Lord must have a place in our homes, with the Spirit being the focal point.

The mood of the parents--especially the mom--sets the tone for the day for the entire family.  'If the mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy' is truer than we care to remember.

We need to welcome others into our homes--the kids' friends, neighbors,etc--so it is an inviting and warm place for them to be too.

As we create family traditions, there is a sense of belonging that will develop between generations.

And finally, one that hit me like a load of bricks, belong to them...stay in the moment.  We only have this limited time with our children and we need to make the most of it.  Maybe because we are nearing the "chickie flying the nest" stage with The Girl, this was a powerful thought.

 The second presentation I sat in--but had to leave early--was also really good.  It was called "Teaching the Gospel in the Savior's Way" and was geared toward the new curriculum for the youth.  But I heard a few things that resonated with me--regardless of who we are teaching.

We each have a tragic gap--from where we are to where we should be.  It is part of our earthly experience, so guilt is not a great motivator.

Our personal "private devotionals" are the first step be need to take to teach.  We cant' teach what we don't know.  We must take care of our spiritual needs before helping others with theirs.  If we have the Spirit and are worthy to have it with us we are sanctioned to teach the Gospel.  And if we aren't doing this stuff personally, it doesn't really matter what else we say tot htem.

Next, we have to develop charity to be an effective teacher.  Teaching using different methods is still only effective is our students (or families) know we love them first.  It isn't a coincidence that Jesus is the perfect example of charity and also called the Master Teacher.

More than half of teaching is listening.  He used this equation:  SPEAK< LISTEN = Discernment

And serving others requires the right kind of preparation--we must have the desire to serve/teach/lead, it takes practice and having the Spirit as our companion is vital to any action we take.

As the morning wound down, we met back in the chapel to finish before the luncheon.  Our stake RS president shared this scripture with us. "....And if ye labor with your might with me ye shall have joy in the fruit which I shall lay up unto myself against the time which will soon come."  --Jacob 5:71

She emphasized that we aren't just laboring in the vineyard alone.  We are promised, if we labor with our might, the Savior will be laboring alongside of us.  We are never along in this work.  And together we will find the joy that comes from service and that joy will carry us along even if the world around us isn't where we want to be.

As we began, she had asked us to each listen with our hearts and commit to "going and doing" three things we learned today at this conference.  My three were:
1) Increase the quality of my personal devotionals.
2) Be in the moment with those I am spending my time.
3) Speak < Listen (and Observe) = discernment

Our Stake President concluded with thoughts that reverberated our RS president's message.  We need to be with the Savior to see success in our efforts--no matter where our vineyard is.  And he added the observation element to our discernment equation.  He also shared a thought from Elder M. Russell Ballard, quoting President Joseph F. Smith "It is not for you to be led by the women of the world; it is for you to lead the … women of the world, in everything that is praise-worthy, everything that is God-like, everything that is uplifting and … purifying to the children of men."

 I felt like I came away with much, much more than  arrived with today.  It seems that whenever I hesitant to go to these kind of things, I always get that result.  I wonder how much more I'd get out of something if I had better attitude about it in the first place.  I'm so grateful I felt the Spirit teach me things i needed to hear today.  It sets up a great Sabbath feeling, to be sure.

 

ex-CUSE me?!

This was a great response to the ridiculous notion that stay-at-home moms don't "work".  Oh, no.  We work.  we work and no one pays us to do it.  We work, and sometimes, no one even notices what we do.  We work, alright.  You'd better believe it.

Here is the deal with this whole kerfuffle.  Ann Romney is a political wife.  Michelle Obama is a political wife.  They love and support their husbands.  But they are NOT the politician.  Why drag their decisions into this political mud slinging?!

Furthermore, why can't people just respect the choices that ANY woman makes for herself and her family?  Is one more right than another?  I happen to believe in agency being a principle of God.  Knowing that we each can choose how we behave and how we act, I am certainly not going to tell someone else their choice to work--or stay home with this children--is wrong.  The only thing we can say for sure that is right or wrong have to do with moral issues--lying, cheating, stealing, etc.  The other things are choices.  Why can't we support every woman and the choices she makes for her family?

OK?  Moving on, now.

Tuesday Night: Brushes With Greatness

Tuesday night I went to SLC with two of the three other musketeers, I mean, our YW presidency, for our annual auxiliary training.  It was terrific.

See that nice lady in the center of the photo...in the black blazer?  That is Sister Dalton, General Young Women President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.  She is amazing!

 Everything they said reaffirmed everything that we are already doing.  Actually, it affirmed just how inspired our Stake Presidency really is.  They were on the right track years ago. Now the general directions we are getting from the church are lining right up with what we've been instructed to do already.

See this nice lady?  The one smiling so big, leaning over to talk to the other nice ladies seated for the meeting?  Yep.  That is Sister Dibb, 2nd counselor in the YW General Presidency.  Oh, and she's the prophet's daughter.  She is just as smiley and friendly in real life...up close and personal.

There were a few hundred ward and Stake YW leaders in attendance Tuesday night for this training.  One woman was there from Sweden.  The church is true all over the world.  And Heavenly Father loves His daughters, wherever they live.  I love knowing that.

I feel very honored, privileged and supremely blessed to get to work with the Young Women right now.  I think this might be the greatest calling I have ever had int he church.  The fact that I have been in this spot for nearly six years now, I only feel more blessed.  I have seen some of these young women all the way through their YW experience.  That is a treat that is unlike any other I can think of.  Getting to do this while The Girl is in YW is even more sweet.  I can see, as a parent, what we do as YW leaders and how it affects each of these girls.  The girls are individuals--remarkable, unique, and divine with so much good to bring the world.  Serving in the church gives us opportunities that I might not have had any other way.  Even my PTA work--with junior high and high school kids at this current point--only gives me so much contact with the kids themselves.  That contact is fleeting.  But in YW, I see these girls growing and learning and developing into just who the Lord needs them--and knows they are--to be.

Of Strength and Miracles

Elizabeth Smart, on the left, before her horrific ordeal--and at right, now 22 or so, Elizabeth Smart has told her story in court.

In the past week or so I have been more than impressed with the poise and confidence of this young woman.  The trial has begun and she has spent three days last week on the stand testifying of her ordeal--kidnapping at knife point from her bedroom, being repeatedly raped, forced to drink and smoke, her life and the lives of her family threatened if she tried to run, having to listen to the ravings of a manipulative, controlling zealous lunatic. 

In the summer of 2002 she was only 14 years old.  All the posters and photos of her that were made available to the public showed a tender, sweet, refined girl.  She played the harp, she roomed with her little sister, she loved her family.  Nine months of searching, and worrying, and speculating about what happened to her were brought to a close with a miracle--she was alive, she was found and returned to her family.

This month she has proved once again the kind of metal she is made of as she has recalled those months of captivity but has plainly spoke of them before a federal judge, a jury and a courtroom of others who have shared her testimony in the paper.  She has spoken of the fear, hurt, and terror she endured.  She has recognized that the man accused in this case was not right, but he knew precisely what he was doing to her.  She saw that his demands of her in the name of God and religion were merely one man's selfish and sick mind at work.

In the years between her joyous reunion with her family and this week on the witness stand, she has grown up and developed an inner strength that has helped in her healing.  I can only suspect that is what it is, as I certainly haven't spoken with her.  But just in seeing and hearing her via the papers and news reports, I know there is only one kind of healing that brings with it this kind of strength--and that is the healing that comes from Christ.

I wish Elizabeth well.  Her notoriety, at least locally, can't be comfortable.  Yet she has family and friends here and much more of her life to live.  For now, she has chosen to serve God, as she knows Him, as a missionary in France where she teaches those she meets of Jesus Christ, the Savior of the world, the only One who can truly understand our pains, sorrows, hurts, and heartaches.  She has felt His support and His love and protection.  She has a rare comprehension of what that love in her life has done, and can uniquely share her feelings of Him with those she teaches.  I imagine she is a powerful voice of testimony.

I think she is one of the most remarkable women I have never met.  I admire her determination and poise in the face of what might make another person want to curl up and die.  With continued support of her family, some luck, and a full serving of justice, her accused kidnapper will be put away for life and never have to be seen or spoken of by her again.  And maybe, with the Lord's help, she can get on with her life--her way.  I hope so, for her sake.