#52 Stories--Story # 34

What are some ways you and your father are inherently alike--physical traits, temperament, personality, talents, interests? 

I'm not sure we have many physical characteristics that are similar. We both squint when we smile--and that goes deep through the family. We both have dark hair naturally.  Mine has gotten darker as I got older and his is finally turning a silver gray now that he's over seventy. Bu that is probably the extent of the physical similarities.

As far as other traits we have a lot more in common.  We have a similar sense of humor to one another.  I remember many many nights sitting at the dinner table laughing over something we saw on Saturday Night Live or a movie we enjoyed and could get to laughing so hard that you couldn't understand any thing we were saying--but we knew what the other one meant in all that.  I felt bad for my mom because she never seemed to be in on the joke.  But she laughed with us---probably because we were so silly as we laughed ourselves hoarse. We find a lot of the same kind of things funny--Far Side, Roadrunner & Coyote--all the Looney Toones, really--cartoons, SNL sketches from the 80s, ridiculous movies--could make us laugh and laugh until my face hurt.

My dad's temperament has mellowed with age I think but I know that I have a similar temperament so far as patience goes as he did when we were growing up.  I hope I can mellow about it all someday too. Unruly little children used to make him crazy, and I find my teeth on edge over similar situations. Maybe this one has less to do with his temperament than with how unruly some kids are.

He is pretty self-deprecating--and I find myself doing that more and more too. I know some of his comes from the idea that he never thought himself very book smart--thus he always wanted us to do well in school and a university education was expected of me and my sister. I find I am more self-deprecating for the joke of it.  I can make fun of myself easily and prefer that to making others feel less than for the sake of a joke.

My dad has incredible mechanical talent.  He just seems to understand how things go together and how they work.  I remember watching him when he was disassembling or reassembling motor parts and wondering how he knew to do that just that way. I know it is partly because he has been doing it for a long time, but also because his mind understands and comprehends how things go together and why they work. I wish I was better about this particular talent, but I'm still quite a newb about most things mechanically.

Dad also has an amazing memory for specifics.  he might not remember someone's name from Walla Walla or Burbank, or the Sunnyvale days, but he'll recall the vehicle that person drove and little things about the cars. But that is what he enjoys and it's always easier to recall those kind of things when you enjoy them that much.

I know he doesn't think he is very knowledgeable about the Gospel, but I always knew he felt things  that were true.  We do have similar reactions to feeling the Spirit. We both tend to get a little emotional when tender spiritual things are brought up. We both feel the Spirit probably more than we hear him. I think that is a good quality to share--even if it is sometimes less than convenient when it happens in a group of people or during a speaking assignment.

Just What I 've Always Wanted!

I read this recently and thought it was an interesting line of thinking. What do you think?

What Makes You Interesting

To be truly memorable, figure out where your greatest passions and talents intersect.

A recent story on Inc.com laid out Seattle-based cartoonist Jessica Hagey’s 10 characteristics of interesting people. During a presentation at the recent South by Southwest conference based on her new illustrated guide How to Be Interesting, Hagey cut to the core of what it means to be a memorable person. The question that she didn’t answer, however, was how you get there. You can’t just follow someone else’s rule book, you have to be your own authentic version of interesting.

How do you cultivate your own interesting aura? This is where my work comes in. Your own version of interesting lies within you. It’s your Zone of Genius. Your Zone of Genius is the combination of your innate talent and your greatest passion. Innate talent, for this purpose, is how--not what--you do what you do. Your greatest passion is the activity that you could do for countless hours with unending fulfillment. This is not always straightforward, but can be embedded in your psychology and linked to a core challenge you have conquered in your personal journey. If you apply your innate talent to your greatest passion, you are operating in your Zone of Genius. 

Finding your zone of genius can be tricky. We're all blind to many of our own true strengths and weaknesses, so it often helps to find an objective, supportive person to help. Most of my clients have shelves of books and folders full of test results dutifully reporting what they are best at, however they still struggle to quickly articulate what makes them interesting. I was once in the same predicament. I took every test that exists to figure out what I did that was so special. What I discovered is that in order to really capture and enhance what makes you special, you have to feel it to the core of yourself. 

Most people get distracted by the flurry of feedback we receive on our work, both casual and structured. We all are complex and do a variety of things, and most of us can excel at many of them. This ability to do a lot well, to be multifaceted is the thing that defines us. But the one thing we do best is what sets us apart and makes us truly interesting. It's the thing that we bring forth to others, it’s the beginning of the conversation about yourself. You can bring in other aspects of yourself as you broaden the picture, but you have to start with the one thing that others can connect with and associate you with. This is the key to being memorable and interesting. Remember, you have to leave someone with one thing, not ten, when they think of you. 

In addition to capturing what makes you interesting, knowing your Zone of Genius also makes you caring, humble, and brave. All of a sudden, all the energy that has been swirling around you trying to find “your thing” is re-focused towards your work and your mission. This shift from not knowing, to knowing, produces a sense of calm, confidence, and clarity that others notice. You aren’t unduly competitive or desperate, because you know what you bring to the table. You can appreciate others’ gifts more because you aren’t trying to imitate them. You are spending your time being a better version of yourself. Getting to know yourself and sharing that with others is the key to being interesting. Nobody else is you, so uncover that and you won’t have any problems being remembered for exactly who you are and what you are offering the world. 

Laura Garnett helps business owners develop personalized marketing strategies by identifying their zone of genius. Learn more at her website.

Diversionary Tactics

Next Tuesday evening I am scheduled to "perform" (and I use that word loosely here) a humorous monologue for our ladies' group at church. I am not sure how this request came to me for sure, but I happily accepted six weeks ago or more when my cute neighbor Becky asked me to do this. Today I am having second thoughts.

Not so much second thoughts of presenting a humorous monologue, but the already too late second thought of "Why can't I seem to say 'NO'?"

I used to do this regularly in high school. This was back in my Speech & Drama days. I recall a monologue taken from Erma Bombeck that I particularly enjoyed. That is my aim with this one on Tuesday--another from Erma's collection. I am getting stressed however with my lack of decision on which piece of classic Erma I should prepare.

The kids were away today at our ward's Youth Conference activity--boating at the lake--and I theoretically had the day to work on this, yet I did everything BUT this. Typical.

But, in my diversionary busyness, I finished editing and correcting my blog book and ordered it today. 330 pages. Not quite as many as last year's, but almost.

Also, my cardboard and paper recycling box is ready to be dumped at the school's recycling dumpster and I baked zucchini bread with the hand-me-down zucchinis SIL Lori gave me Sunday, and I made fettuccine alfredo and steamed yellow squash (also from Lori's garden) for dinner tonight and it was dang good. I visited a dear friend's Neighborhood Carnival and dropped kids at an ice cream party and football practice. And now I sit at the computer. With the Erma Bombeck books sitting her next to me. Yet, I still avoid the decision making.

Tomorrow is day two of youth conference for the kids, so I probably could work on my presentation then, but I am sure something else will come up. It always seems to do that anyway, whether or not I am trying to be good and get my work done.

You Say "Potato"...

Yesterday I hosted the judging of our elementary school's PTA Reflection's contest at my house. I am the chairman this year and getting the entries judged it part of my gig.

We had 128 items entered by 110 kids. There are eight possible categories: visual art, 3D art, literature, photography, film/video, musical composition, choreography/dance, and theater. We got no entries in music or theater this year, and only one in dance. The theme the kids were to illustrate was "WOW!". That narrows it down, now, doesn't it?

I am always surprised by how different that theme (or any we have ever used) is interpreted by the kids. In some cases, I can see the guidance that mom or dad provided and the work shows it. But there are others that are truly the kids' work, the kids' thought behind it, and the kids' interpretation. I love those entries.

I got to attend last night's Young Women in Excellence last night too. I had kind of the same feelings there, except there, I wasn't forced to have them judged!

The YW in the ward displayed or performed some of the things they had learned or achieved this year. There are so many options and varieties for the girls to do and try. It was fun to see Little Neighbor with her drum set play "Yellow Submarine" just after Northern Friend played "Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing" on her violin. It was as fun evening, all around.

It reminds me of President Uchtdorf's comments at the general Relief Society meeting in September. He told women of the church, "You may think that you don't have talents, but that is a false assumption, for we all have talents and gifts, every one of us. The bounds of creativity extend far beyond the limits of a canvas or a sheet of paper and do not require a brush, a pen, or the keys of a piano. Creation means bringing into existence something that did not exist before---colorful gardens, harmonious homes, family memories, flowing laughter."

Thank goodness we are allowed our unique abilities and all are acceptable. Now if we could just feel the same about some other issues as well then we might all be able to get along in this world.