Just a Thought

This painting was one I had never seen before.  I discovered it at the Festival of Trees. 

Of course, Joseph was Jesus' step-dad, but seeing this scene, with Mary resting and the strength of Joseph's character and responsibility for this Holy Child touched my heart.  It made me think of that Primary song that goes:

"When Joseph went to Bethlehem, I think he took great care

To place his tools and close his shop and leave no shavings there.

He urged the donkey forward then, with Mary on its back,

And carried bread and goat cheese in a little linen sack.

"I think there at the busy inn that he was meek and mild

And awed to be the guardian of Mary's sacred child.

Perhaps all through the chilly hours he smoothed the swaddling bands

And Jesus felt the quiet strength of Joseph's gentle hands.

"And close beside the manger bed, he dimmed the lantern's light

And held the little Jesus close upon that holy night."

Maybe because I have been thinking of the roles of parents in a child's life this week, especially after the day in court with parents in what has become a difficult situation and knowing that we have a chance to visit my parents at Christmas this year, but I wonder just what Joseph thought that first Christmas night. 

I know God loved him, otherwise someone else would have been chosen to parent His Son on earth.  He must have been a kind man, a loving husband, and a man who trusted God in all things.  He must have been a humble and teachable man as well.  And certainly, he was a righteous man.  He had so much responsibility to raised this special boy and teach Him the things He needed to know and yet so much of what Joseph was to teach him, Jesus knew.  He is the creator, the mediator with the Father, the Savior and Redeemer, after all.  That must have been a tough role to fill.

I guess that is why I loved this painting when I saw it.  Joseph looks like he is at peace, yet he knows he will need his Father's help in his appointed position as Mary's husband, and Jesus' earthly father.  There is a job that carried a lot of weight. 

I wish we knew more of him, of his character, of his attitude.  Maybe, if we knew that, we'd be better parents and look for ways to better help other parents who raise the children around us.  We all need help sometimes--heck, all the time--and knowing Joseph was chosen to raise the Son of God on earth might give me some insight to do my job as The Boy's and The Girl's mom a little better.  There are days I feel the weight of my responsibility as deftly as Joseph must have felt his.

Another Day in Court

Yesterday I spent several hours as moral support to my sister at another child custody court hearing.  She and her ex-husband have been divorced for four years, and yet, we were still trying to make things better between them--it takes a judge's mandate--and for the boys.

The big judge who signed their divorce decree heard them this time, as it was called in objection to three orders made by the commissioner, the big-judge's underling.

The first objection was over the commissioner's decision to remove the parent-coordinator from this case.  The Ex believes she was biased against him.  The big judge affirmed that decision, but called for another parent-coordinator to be assigned.  He recognized that these two parents are currently unable to positively co-parent without some mediation. 

This will be the fourth professional assigned to their situation.  The first quit after The Ex threatened him.  The second was doing the custody evaluation and reported that this was the worst case of parental-alienation he had seen in his 20+ years of practice.  And now this third doctor is removed, after suggesting The Ex do things to improve his relationship with the boys and my sister that The Ex didn't like and was belligerent about that.  Sure, I can see where she reported that he was uncooperative, and had an "increased sense of entitlement" that made it difficult to do her job.  But he was that as a biased take.

I feel sorry for whomever they select to have to work with this family.

The other two issues were about money.  Of course.

First, they objected to was the financial issue of splitting the cost of transporting the boys to their dad's place, now 300 miles away.  The judge ruled that that will stand, but added that since The Ex owes my sister exponentially more money that that portion he requested her to pay for the transporting of the the boys, she will not have to pay any transportation costs until his outstanding fees, court decisions, and debts to her are paid in full.

And finally, after the custody shifted to their mom, and their dad finally has a job after not working fr much of the 12 years they were married and the majority of time since the divorce, the child support needed to be adjusted.  The judge ruled that the attorneys use the standard child custody worksheet (how sad that this even exists?!) be used and submitted, and the support be adjusted accordingly.

We were there for an hour and 45 minutes.  At one point the judge faced down The Ex and told him, point blank, ordered that he get a therapist or counselor in 15 days and get in to see that professional to begin to make the necessary adjustments needed to improve this situation.  He told both of them, that he really didn't want o see them again, but they have a standing appointment in 90 days to review the progress The Ex makes in the therapeutic help.  And if he fails to listen and obey this order, he will go to jail--in contempt of court.

I will believe it when I see that.  We have heard that from the commissioner regularly.  I've yet to see any action taken against him.  It just costs more money, and more time, and more effort to present their irritations AGAIN in court.  That is the most frustrating part.  I have lost a lot of faith in the system since this divorce and the fall out we've witnessed since.  There is a lot of bark, but no bite.

I'm glad to only have to 'live it" once in a while, when I show up for the court proceedings.  But it breaks my heart that my nephews are the ones really paying for the behavior and decisions of their parents.  I appreciate the things that, as a parent, my sister has done to do better for her boys.  I know it has cost her a lot of money and stress, and tears and worry.  But that is what you do when you are a parent.  The moment that child is yours, your wishes take a back seat to theirs. 

I wish all parents understood that idea, and acted on it.  How much happier children would be, if we did.

Wishes of the Season?

The inevitable has been substituted for 'Merry Christmas', at last.  You KNEW this was coming, what with all the PC holiday changes made to accommodate everyone.  Do people not learn?  You simply can't please everyone, so why bother?!?  It's funny, in a sardonic way.  But it is sad in the muddled and convoluted way Congress seems to spin things.  But you tell me:

"Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the winter solstice holiday(tm), practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all . . . and a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2011, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great, (not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country or is the only 'AMERICA' in the western hemisphere), and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform, or sexual orientation of the wishee.

"By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms: This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher."


Merry Christmas.  There, I said it.  It IS that easy.  .

Borrowed Thoughts

For today's post I would like to share a delighteful article posted on the San Jose (CA)  Mercury News website.  I enjoyed the columnist's thoughts, as I sit with my own Colin Firth calendar poised atop my printer next to me.  Lucky for me, I have an understanding hubz in Genius Golfer who tolerates my Colin-In-Film habit, and even occasionally joins me if the film in question is one of, according to GG, the "heaving breasts" types. I would like to make special note, here, however, that I have never wormed my way into a Hollywood party under nefarious circumstances to meet Mr. Firth, nor do I imagine I would.  But it is fun to think about.


Herhold: Colin, go jump in the lake. Wait, don't!


By Scott Herhold
Mercury News Columnist


I hate Colin Firth. All right, I don't hate him personally. I'm sure he's a decent man, a self-deprecating British actor. But I hate the idea of Colin Firth.

Since he jumped into the lake in the BBC's "Pride and Prejudice" 15 years ago, he's become not just an icon at my house, but a whole industry.

He's tall, thin, handsome, charming and rich -- which, as my dotage looms ever closer, I am not quite. He's even possessed of a social conscience, helping the poor in Africa.

My wife, Sarah, put up his calendar for 2010 in her office at work. For each month, there's been a different Colin. The standard shot: open collar, slightly bearded, tousled hair, warm smile. Vigorous.

What's not to hate?

Frankly, I don't understand what's so intensely attractive about a man jumping into a lake and parading around in a wet 18th-century shirt.

My understanding is that Firth didn't really jump into the lake; a stuntman did. Movies create illusions, I say.

My wife ignores me.

Entranced by the way his body shows through that shirt, women love this shot.

My wife can cue to exactly the point on our DVD where Mr. Darcy, beset by his love for Elizabeth, dunks himself at Pemberley.

The repetition of this scene has injected continuing life into the Colin Firth iconography in my household. Sarah already has ordered the 2011 calendar.

We have his obscure movies, including "Valmont," "Fever Pitch" and my favorite, "Circle of Friends," in which he plays an upper-class British twit who impregnates an Irish girl.

We have the new films that play off the Darcy role one way or another: "Bridget Jones" I & II and "Love Actually," in which -- yes -- he jumps into a lake.

Darcy books

We've got the whole oeuvre of Darcy books: "The Second Mrs. Darcy" and the "Darcy Connection," both by Elizabeth Aston, and "Mr. Darcy's Diary," by Amanda Grange.

I'm convinced that none of these books would have been written except for Colin Firth's plunge -- purported plunge, let me add -- at Pemberley.

In my wife's office room at home is a clipping of Firth's special likes. He's touched by the Dumbo movie, loves a "proper American burger" (the phrase gives him away), relaxes with archery and likes Doris Day.

If any of this is true, he's not a guy you'd want to invite to a Raiders game.

Film festival

In our case, Colin-mania has gone further yet. My wife, her sister and a friend went to the Santa Barbara Film Festival last spring to meet the British god himself.

Prevailing on her contacts at a party rental service that was contributing to the reception, my wife wheedled an invitation to a private meet-and-greet with Firth.

And yes, he was everything he was advertised to be -- tall, thin, handsome, impossibly charming and willing to pose for pictures.

Entirely hateful.

I'm assuming we will have to go to the latest Firth movie, "The King's Speech."

He plays King George VI, who was afflicted with a terrible stutter but nonetheless delivered a famous speech on the eve of World War II.

I know how the movie ends. It has to inspire.

I'm still rooting for Firth to flub the finale. I don't think I can take the fallout from an Academy Award.

Oh, Happy Day!

Genius Golfer unearthed the Baby Camaro from its cocoon yesterday and took it to work, leaving me the smug little Honda.  Ahhhh, the joys of having a vehicle again.

The Camaro hadn't been out for a real drive since Nephew Bryce took it to prom in May!  I guess that goes to show just how much golfing GG really did this summer.  Not much.

There is something so satisfying about having a car just waiting for me in the garage, as opposed to being a parasite on my friends' good will.  Though, I do have lovely and dear friends who schlepped me around for about 10 days while I was wheel-less and the weather wasn't going to cooperate with Camaro driving.

This Camaro is really a ridiculous car for our weather here.  It is a convertible.  CHECK.  It is rear-wheel drive.  CHECK.  GG babies it and doesn't want it to get dirty.  CHECK. DOUBLE CHECK.

I love driving, and being foot-loose and fancy free.  Well, that part is not exactly right, but it sure beats begging rides from very kind and willing friends and feeling guilt about doing just that.  I still have things that need doing, and chores that need completing, and commitments that need fulfilling.  It is all so much easier and convenient (and warmer) with a car of my own.

With any luck the Durango will be repaired and back to  me about the time the kids are finished with school and are released for Christmas break.  Better late, than never.

Just for Fun

Because Genius Golfer took his baby Camaro to work today and left me the smug little Honda, I am feeling pretty dang happy.  And happy at Christmas means you like to sing along to what you hear on the radio.   And this little jewel came on just after I paid my ticket and accident fee to the neighboring city.  Well, I didn't say things were perfect here, did I?  Anyway, with this on, I feel like pulling off a little soft shoe.  Enjoy!

Video Sunday

I love this!  I hope you do too.