A Welcomed Response & One That Confused Me

One of my old high school friends responded to my Facebook message about the Broadway show called The Book of Mormon, that I shared yesterday.  This is what he wrote back to me:

You are so beautiful, Shauna! There couldn't be a better example of the faith and God's love than you and your family. Please know that I have the utmost respect for the Mormon faith and religion.

While Trey and Matt did take extreme liberty with the subject matter, the one thing they didn't do was judge. In fact, they do a very good job at showing love, acceptance and understanding. They just have a round-about way of dong it! The two Elders that it focuses on come to grips with their own struggles and in the end realize that their message has been the same all along, even if told "slightly different" by each. But what was important was that they reached people and shared God's love.

If you've never seen the South Park episode where the Mormon family moves to town, and the SP kids are kinda confused, the ending really says it all: Gary (the new kid) tells Stan, (I'm paraphrasing here, so forgive me) "it may seem weird to you guys, heck, sometimes it's weird to me too. But it works for us, and our family. And we're a pretty good family. So if you guys can't accept it, that's fine. All I ever wanted was to be your friend."

Shauna, I hope you see it - as a thespian, and as an open-minded LDS member. PLEASE be open minded! It is rude and crude in some places but an AMAZING Broadway show. And to you, my dear sweet friend I offer you the same - if you have any questions about Trey Parker and Matt Stone, please come to ME - I have met them personally, produced an event honoring them at the TV Academy, and have followed their work since it magically appeared in front of most of Hollywood in the form of a simple little video tape. I assure you they mean no harm!

I love you, Shauna! My best to your whole family! Happy New Year to you too!!!

 So I guess I got my point across without too much trouble. I was grateful for his kindness and love.  He wasn't critical of my sharing my feelings, and yet isn't really interested in my faith either.  And that is OK.

The second response came in the form of a comment left here yesterday, almost as soon as I published my post.  It is from someone I do not know, nor have ever met in passing.  I think most online folks like this are generally called "trolls" when they haunt blogs and make odd comments--but in truth this guy may just be a dry-Mormon , you know...the kind who believes what we do but hasn't been baptized.  Or maybe I am just reading more into his comment than I should, but I really don't disagree with what he says, I'm just confused by the reasoning behind his posting a comment like this on my blog:

Steve Finnell said...CALLING ON THE NAME OF THE LORD?

On the Day of Pentecost Peter quoted the prophet Joel (Acts 2:21'And it shall be that everyone who call on the name of the Lord will be saved.')

To call on the name of the Lord is to acknowledge the authority and power of the Lord, and follow in obedience by meeting the terms of pardon.

The apostle Peter did not tell those on the Day of Pentecost to say the "sinner's prayer." Saying the "sinner's prayer" is not calling on the name of the Lord.

Peter preached the death, burial, and bodily resurrection of Jesus. Peter declared the Jesus was Lord and Christ. (Acts 2: 22-26) They obviously believed Peter's preaching because they asked the question(Acts 2:37 ....."Brethren what shall we do?")
Peter did not tell them to say the "sinner's prayer." What was Peter's response to their question? (Acts 2:38 Peter said to them, "Repent, and each of you be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins; and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.)


THE NARRATIVE OF CALLING ON THE NAME OF THE LORD.
1. FAITH: Believe in the death, burial, and bodily resurrection of Jesus. Accept Jesus as Lord and Savior.
2. CONFESSION: Acknowledge Jesus as the Christ and the Son of God.
3. REPENTANCE: Make the commitment to turn from sin and turn toward God.
4. WATER BAPTISM: Be immersed into Christ for the forgiveness of your sins.


HOW DID THE ETHIOPIAN EUNUCH CALL ON THE NAME OF THE LORD? (Acts 8:25-40


1. Philip preached Jesus to him. (Acts 8:35)
2. He confessed Jesus as The Christ the Son of God. (Acts 8:37)
3. He was baptized in water. Immersed by Philip. (Acts 8:38-39)
The Ethiopian eunuch did not say the sinner's pray nor was he asked to do so by Philip.


Romans 10:13 for "WHOEVER WILL CALL ON THE NAME OF THE LORD WILL BE SAVED."


Romans 10:9-10 that if you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved; 10 for with the heart a person believes, resulting in righteousness, and with the mouth he confesses, resulting in salvation.


To call on the name of the Lord is to acknowledge His power and authority and confess Him as Lord and Christ . (Acts 2:26,Acts 8:37, Romans 10:9-10) To call on the Name of the Lord is to repent and be baptized. (Acts 2:38)


WE ARE TOLD TO CALL ON THE NAME OF THE LORD TO BE SAVED.


We are never told we are saved by "faith only." We are never told that saying the "sinner's prayer" is calling on the name of the Lord.


IF SAYING THE "SINNER'S PRAYER" IS NOT A REQUIREMENT FOR SALVATION? THEN WHAT ARE THE REQUIREMENTS FOR SALVATION.


THE REQUIREMENTS!
1. Faith: John 3:16
2. Belief and baptism: Mark 16:16
3. Confession and belief: Romans 10:9-10
4. Born of water and Spirit: John 3:5
5. Grace and faith: Ephesians 2:8
6. Buried through baptism: Roman 6:4-5
7. Water baptism: 1 Peter 3:20-21
8. Baptism: Acts 22:16
9. Baptized into Christ: Galatians 3:27
10. Believe: Acts 16:30-31
11. Repentance and baptism: Acts 2:38
12. God's mercy, water baptism, and the Holy Spirit: Titus 3:5
13. Water baptism: Colossians 2:12-13
14. Repentance: Acts 3:19


IF YOU HAVE COMPLETED THESE REQUIREMENTS---THEN YOU HAVE CALLED ON THE NAME OF THE LORD!

YOU ARE INVITED TO FOLLOW MY BLOG. http://steve-finnell.blogspot.com

December 30, 2013 at 7:52 AM

Never a dull moment when you write about faith and religion, huh?  Happy New Year, everyone!

Electronically Sharing the Gospel

Yesterday I had the chance to attend two wonderful sacrament meetings.  The first, in our ward, the speakers were a young husband and wife (she is from Wales and has the most darling accent) who spoke on making our homes Christ-centered.  They did a great job and were quite delightful speakers.

The second was in another ward in our stake where a young man was leaving for his mission this week.  The topic of their speakers was Building the Kingdom of God.  From these talks I got the strongest feeling that I needed to say something to a pair of old friends from high school.

Both of these two HS pals posted pictures of them with their significant others--a husband and fiance--with friends in San Fransisco seeing the Book of Mormon musical.  I had seen their posts and the thought that these two would come away from the show thinking they knew what I believed and held dear based on what they saw made my heart sink.  But until I sat in that sacrament meeting, I wasn't sure what to do.

By the end of the meeting, my heart was pounding and I knew I had to message them and at least tell them a little of what I believe and that if they were ever really interested in knowing about the Book of Mormon, they ought to ask me.

So, I messaged them this morning and this is what I told them:

Hey, you two! Glad you got to see the Book of Mormon musical in SF. I've heard it is a pretty funny show. However, if you are ever interested in what the Book of Mormon actually teaches, please ask me. I've read it and believe it is a wonderful companion to the Bible in teaching us of Jesus Christ and just what God's plan of happiness is for us as His children. The South Park guys see silly and different as funny--and a lot of time it is really is. But any one they take under their microscope is going to be made to sound more than bizarre.

Mormons believe that Jesus Christ is our Savior and the Son of God, that we are all one big eternal family of God's children and therefore need to treat one another as such. We believe that we can continue our family relationships after death as we obey His commandments and stay faithful to the covenants we make with God. I don't mean to preach anything to you, but I'd just ask, as old friends, that if you ever were really interested in what Mormons believe, that you'd ask one of us that does believe and lives our faith. I have read the Book of Mormon many times and have felt the love of God in my life as I do. He loves His children on earth now just as much as He did the people in Bible times. I'm glad you had a great experience with the show, but please understand that there is much more depth to this faith that I love than some silly songs and funny lyrics.

I wish you both a very Happy New Year and hope you have a terrific 2014 with your beautiful families!

I just hope it is enough without being preachy.  My heart feels better this morning, so I feel better just saying this much.

Getting My Act Together

Two weeks plus and I'm still feeling under the weather.  The weather is making me feel like I want to go back to bed.  And I'm tired of being tired.  I've got to get myself together!

Now that Christmas is over I feel some holiday let down.  I have no good excuse to bake treats.  I have no creative outlet like making little presents.  And I had to go back to work yesterday, so I can't even claim the days off from a routine.

My body is slow to respond even after my round of antibiotics is done.  But I am feeling better than I was, even if I don't sound like it yet.

I've been at this job now for eight months and I still feel like I am adjusting to the time parameters and the schedule of sleeping and getting up.  It is worse because the kids are sleeping in and staying up late, but I don't get to do that.

I am grateful for the job and the income I can help our family with each month.  Maybe sooner than later I'll get my head wrapped around the idea that I can do this even when it is hard.

Or, at least, I'll keep telling myself that.

I Should Have Seen It Before Now

I read this article after seeing a link on Facebook.  I loved it so much, I have to share.  Originally found at www.normons.com:

16 Reasons Buddy the Elf is Probably Mormon

By: Danny Rasmussen //
You may have been shocked to learn that your favorite rock star (Brandon Flowers) or your favorite DJ (KASKADE) is Mormon. But what about your favorite Christmas elf??

***We hope you’ll forgive us for the levity of this post. We couldn’t help ourselves.

1. He’s known for being happy.

 A 2012 Gallup poll found that Mormons and Jews are the happiest religious groups in the United States.

2. He doesn’t know how to swear.

  No, really…

3. He LOVES sugar.

See: The Mormon Dessert Party.

4. He’s not afraid to talk to strangers.

 I wonder where he served his mission? 

5. He’s exceptionally good at arts and crafts.

 Just search “mormon” on Pinterest or Etsy and see for yourself.

6. Like early Mormon pioneers, Buddy walked long distances through freezing conditions to find a place where he belonged.

7. He spreads cheer wherever he goes.

Hey, so do these guys!

8. He loves singing.

9. He runs away from naked women to whom he’s not married.

Nice to know that someone was paying attention during the Sunday School lesson about Joseph in Egypt fleeing from Potiphar’s wife.

10. He owns his weirdness.

 That’s what we Normons are all about!

11. He’s surprisingly good at basketball.

Jimmer, Jabari and the #1-ranked Lone Peak High School basketball team are proof.

12. He doesn’t always fit in.

See: The Benefits of Having an Asterisk.

13. He wants everyone to be on the nice list.

Literally, everyone.

14. His charm inspired a musical.

 Elf: the Musical doesn’t have as many Tony awards as The Book of Mormon, but it’s impressive nonetheless.

15. He consistently goes out of his way to serve others.

Mormons have been found to be some of the most “pro-social” members of American society. We do our best to dedicate our time and talents to serving our families, our church members, and our communities.

16. People accuse him of being delusional but, as it turns out, he’s not.

 And neither are we Mormons.

Still Going, Barely

Is it too late to ask Santa for an extra week to just sleep?  I feel wiped out.  I know I am getting better, but it is slow coming and I have little patience for being the patient. I did get to answer the phone at work yesterday, raspy voice and all, but at least I had a voice.  Will try again today and see if I can get better.  The poor hospice nurses that call, worry about me--I probably sounds like I need to get on hospice service myself.

Morphed

The cold I thought I had caught in time with various and sundry over the counter tricks has instead morphed into the mother of all sinus infections.  I got into see the doctor yesterday and he prescribed a Z pack for the antibiotics and a cough syrup with codeine.  But my head still feels like ti is going to explode.  Can you have a migraine AND a sinus infection?  I think I have both and it isn't right.  I'll keep you posted, but this kind of pain in my head is enough to drive me to harder drugs.

Uselss...That Comes to Mind

Yesterday I had no voice.  I mean I could whisper, but no one could hear me unless they were right next to me.  Makes it a little hard to answer the phone at work.  Oh, and that is my job.

I had a hard time stopping myself from trying to answer the phones, even though my coworkers were being great about it.  But a whispering voice on the phone isn't a great start when the call is made by some little old husband who can't hear himself.   A comedy of errors, indeed.

Luckily several items came in that need embroidery.  Luckily, that is also my job.  And luckily, today I'll be a little more useFUL as I get that done and not try to answer the phone.

There must be some magical solution to laryngitis.  I just haven't found the exact answer on Goggle yet.  But there is still time.  But my fingers are still crossed.

Time Out for Sickness

I came home from work last week with a sore throat, and I thought I was so smart by getting loaded up on Zicam and Airborne, but the cold hit with full force anyway.  I spent all day yesterday and most of the day Saturday in bed.  So, sorry, no posts.

I'll try to keep up this week.  But can you believe it is already December 16th?!?  What happened to the month? The year?  Man, time flies.

The Girl is home for Christmas break, and that is nice.  She got here Friday with her darling Roomie, Super Kate.  SK stayed over night with us and then was off to be home with her family.  Things are still settling.

I'll keep you posted, with any luck.

Jump To Hyper-Speed?

Yesterday I came home from work feeling a scratchy throat beginning, which for me is a early sign of cold onset.  I immediately began sucking on the airborne lozenges.  I drank the airborne water-fiz stuff.  Then while I was out running some needed errands, I picked up this stuff:

I'd tried the throat spray before, but I didn't care for it.  But I dont' have time to be sick this week--or anything, frankly--so I thought I'd try this version.  I took two last night and another already this morning.

My throat this morning felt swollen and very scratchy.  In the time I have been up and moving already today, I have felt the cold move from my throat--no more scratch!--to my sinuses.  And even that sinus move is much less intense than a normal cold would be.

At this rate, I might be fully healthy again by tomorrow.  I'm keeping this stuff in my desk at work, the cupboard in the kitchen and the medicine shelf.  Is it too late to buy into this company already?!?

Christmas Video

Wow!  That is all I can say about this one.  WOW!

There Is Always Room for Fun

The Girl has started her finals week.  Her Chemistry final is today, and apparently she spent 12 hours studying for it on Friday.  Then she plans on studying all day tomorrow fro her Biology final Wednesday.  But just because she is studying, doesn't meant here isn't room for some roommate fun.

 

Maelyn, Jill R,Katelyn, Aspen, Kate, Brooklyn and The Girl in the Christmas mood.

Plus, a bonus shot of fun from The Girl:

 

At the movie theaters on Thanksgiving, The Girl and her friend Marina and I went to see Disney's Frozen, and this was too tempting to miss.   thought they did have to wait their turns behind some pretty adorable kids.  You're never to old to play.

A Friend Moves Away--Temporally, At Least

I have some really great friends from long ago--like 20 years ago.  Some are old roommates.  Some are childhood friends or high school friends that I've kept in touch with on Facebook.  Some were newlyweds about the same time we were and we all came from the same (final) singles ward.

One of those friends is Amelia.  This is a friend from 20+ years ago, from my last singles ward, but she never married and has had more than her fair share of struggles and trouble.  Some has been health, some has been financial.  But throughout it all she has been one of the most faithful women I have ever met.

I learned from other Facebook friends that Amelia was struggling again, but this time it was really serious.  She was diagnosed with Stage 4 kidney cancer.  She was in the hospital and was scheduled for surgery the next day or so.

She was in Provo at the Utah Valley Regional Medical Center--a tremendously successful place for healing--at the time, so I took advantage of living relatively close and headed down to give you my support in person.  When I go there, her sister and brother were there from out of state.

She hasn't had the ideal, picture perfect family life.  Ever.  So this was the first tie I had met her siblings.  Her brother was going through some paperwork, including a living will, with her, and her sister caught me outside the room and told me what was going on.

The doctor's were preparing to do a hysterectomy and remove her cancer-filled kidney (luckily only one was diseased).  Her ovaries were covered in either cysts or metastasized cancer.  they wouldn't know until they saw it.  Her strength was low and her  understanding about the situation wasn't complete yet.  The doctor's knew that this first surgery would either make it a possibility to fight the cancer, or it would break her.  There wasn't much in between.

That weekend, we heard fro her family that the surgery was successful, but that the real test would be to see if her remaining kidney would start up once they take off the meds and dialysis that were necessary fro the surgery.  Monday was the day for the kidney to step up and do it's job, or Amelia would be on dialysis the rest of her, likely, short life.

Having seen a little of kidney issues with my dad's kidney transplant and the months leading up that that miracle, I didn't want Amelia to have to look forward to a life like that, or worse.  As friends who knew her, we committed to fasting for her kidney to work on Sunday, knowing that we were running out of time for the miracle she needed.

That Monday, the kidney specialist (who is a little on the dour side anyway, according to Amelia) was shocked and amazed that her remaining kidney immediately kicked into gear and began running properly.  We knew why and were so grateful for that blessing for our friend.

Not long after that miracle, a new challenge arrived:  her port became infected.  And the infection was bad.  It nearly wiped her out.  But with some strong antibiotics, surgery to remove the port, and a blood transfusion plus some time to heal and regain some strength, I saw her Wednesday after work and she was just remarkably better.

But the decision was made that she'd move this weekend to Portland to live with her sister and very near her brother and many nieces and nephews.  She will resume fighting the cancer now that the periphery issues are cleared up.

I was happy to see her, and to find her in such better health and positive spirits.  Good luck, Amelia.  A new adventure just means there are new friends to make.

Photo Struggles

Monday night The Boy helped our city's Youth Court welcome Santa and Mrs. Claus to our library to meet and greet the city's children and families.  This is a something Youth Court does every year--like Strawberry Days--so it is a tradition and a service.

The kids met at 4 PM to put together the little kids' goodie bags Santa will give them.  Then Santa arrived about 6 PM.  Usually families line up and the Youth Court kids are there to help keep some line-order going and to lift the spirits of the little people who "can't wait ANY more!"

I guess this year wasn't quite as busy as usual.  I'm not sure why, but there just weren't as many kids there--maybe because it was technically Thanksgiving weekend still.  But the Youth Court kids were bored, apparently.

I had texted The Boy and asked him to please have someone take a picture of him doing the Youth Court thing for Santa, as I never get picture of him with YC, as I'm not there with them like I was at school.  He laughed back at my text but sent me no picture.  I mockingly asked if I needed to come down there and do it myself.  He responded back with a text that they weren't doing anything, so what was he supposed to get a picture of anyway.

Finally I told him, via a text, that he just needs to take a "selfie" with Santa and whatever kids were there in the background.  Then he said he couldn't do that because his phone camera is only one-directional.  The next thing I knew, he was home and the whole Santa thing was over.

I showed him that he could take a "selfie" even if his camera was not reversible.  I even showed him how to do it.

(Not the greatest, I know, but I was only demonstrating the technique.  And the glasses are hideous.  Plus it was after 9PM and I was d-o-n-e after a day back at work after the holiday weekend.)

I even tried to get a snapshot of him while he poured and tried to drink his post-Santa-helping-Egg Nog, but that was pretty much futile too:

Anyhoo, The Boy mocked me and protested the whole idea of selfie-photos and I just decided to drop it.  I didn't want to cause contention--no photo is worth that--so I dropped it too.

But a little later, I heard him in the kitchen.  At the time I wondered what is up, but then got distracted and didn't go see until later.  This is what I found on MY phone's camera:

Do the words "Cheeky Monkey" comes to anyone else's mind here? 

.

Better Late Than, Well, You Know

Like the proverbial cobbler's children with no shoes, I was having a spot of bother with some software this morning, and consequently, I am just getting this posted.

Last night, The Boy came home from a swim meet and--feeling tired as he does after swimming--jumped into the shower before I had much chance to talk with him.

After a shower and little food, The Boy stood in the kitchen with me and I noticed his hair was combed a little oddly.  Not that is ever "normal" and I realize he needs a haircut--even right after he gets a haircut, but that is not likely to change until a mission comes.  I just thought it was funny how his hair, parted on the side and combed around the front of his head, reminded me a teen idol from years ago.

Of course, he had no idea who I meant when I mentioned the name, but when Genius Golfer got home, I asked him if he thought there was a similarity, he agreed with me.

What do you think?

This is the closest I'll ever get to having Shaun Cassidy (circa 1978) at my house.

Some Days Are Just Like That

As the Boy and I left for school and work yesterday, there was a little overnight snow on his truck but the roads were clear and the snow on the grassy areas didn't look like it would last long.  So off we went to where we spend our days.

For the REST OF THE DAY the snow kept falling, along with a persistent wind that whipped the snow all around.  It would have  been a really good day to stay home and bake while listening to Christmas music.  Work sure gets in the way sometimes.

The snow NEVER let up!  But the time I left work, just after 3 PM, the roads were covered and the snow just kept right on falling.  People, of course, are idiot drivers in the first snowfall of the year.  And they proved that again today.

So I carefully toddled home, with the Durango in 4WD.  As I pulled closer to the house, I noticed that the driveway and the sidewalks.  I drove right into the garage and parked my car.

As I came into the house, I couldn't hear The Boy anywhere.  His truck was parked in it's place, and The Girl's car was still where she left it Saturday.  After calling upstairs, I hear a voice form the bathroom: "Mom, I just finished shoveling the driveway and I had to pee.  I'll be down in a minute."

That good boy carefully hurried home so he could beat me to the house and get the driveway cleared off before I had to drive on it.

I'm one lucky mom.

That Makes So Much Sense

 

Need I say more?!?

Got It Set Up...At Least I Can Say That

While The Girl was home this weekend, we set up our Christmas tree.  Well, we set up A Christmas tree.  Usually we have the traditional green tree, albeit a fake one as we have now saved a lot of money over buying a fresh one each year.  But this year is a little different.

The Boy and Genius Golfer went out to the shed Saturday afternoon to get the tree-in-a-box along with any other Christmas tubs or ornaments and decor that were out there.  Apparently the regular green tree was shoved way int he back of the shed's loft so they opted to bring in something a little easier to access.

They brought in a white tree.  It is still about 6 feet tall, but it is plastic looking--really plastic looking.  I was not pleased, but they refused to dig out the "real" tree.  I told them, in no uncertain tones, then if we were having a white tree then I definitely wanted colored lights of it.  The Boy came back in with a ball of white wired lights with blue bulbs.

I tried to unwind them and discovered to my horror that these were the icicle type where there were strands that hung down in various lengths.  Niether The Boy nor GG would budge on this, insisting that this was what they used on the tree before.

Now this  I know is a lie.  But they were not to be dissuaded.  The three of these people I live with put the dumb tree together while I stewed about how ugly this was going to be.

Fine.  I plugged in the blue lights that looked like those that lined the runways at large international airports and I directed The Boy in wrapping them around this hideous plastic tree.

Once it was lit, everyone scattered leaving me to decorate it the rest of the way.  Seeing as it was already the world's ugliest Christmas tree, I figured I would only add cherished memories and old-school charm by using only the handmade ornaments.  I left all the lovely collected-over-the-years Hallmark ornaments in the boxes and put up the decade old chocolate kisses angels, the hand-sewn patchwork stockings, the wire and glitter stars and all the ones the kids (or I) made over the years.  Then I added ones that had been given to us that I am guessing were handmade--or at the least zushed up from what started as a store-bought ornament.

Upon realizing that the angel topper we usually use is tucked into the "regular" tree box in the shed, I asked the kids what they thought we should use to top it.  Thinking that 'I'd show them' I was surprised when The Girl came up with an idea out of the blue.  The Viking Blue, that is.

Since our HS colors here are blue and white, and the mascot is a Viking, she ran downstairs and grabbed my plastic Viking helmet that was given to me after a year of PTA leadership service.

The Girl added the helmet to the top of the tree and called out in her best Tiny Tim-like voice, "Once a Vikings, always a Viking!"

It certainly didn't have the ring of "God bless us, every one" but looking at our hideous tree in the neon blue glow it gave off in the front room, I guess I shouldn't have been surprised.

The activity of putting the tree together before The Girl left for the end of her semester was worth the awful state of the non-traditional set up.  Across the room for this blue-lit plastic white tree is a piano top of nativity scenes.  The box next to the tree is filled with the books about the Christmas holiday I've collected over the years with and for the kids and which we read diligently every year together.

Perhaps, as the Ginch once said, "He puzzled and puzzled till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before. Maybe Christmas, he thought... doesn't come from a store. Maybe Christmas, perhaps... means a little bit more!"

So, this year as I sit in the light of the airport runway-lining neon blue lights of our white plastic Viking tree, I will appreciate the joy it brought my kids to do something a little different this year, together.  And I'll count my blessing for a family who loves each other, even if we aren't the "normal" family on the block.  And I'll still know I am so very blessed.

Giving Thanks Isn't Just a Holiday

Like I Needed Another Reason

One of my favorite sites to read on the web is the Good News network.  Each week I get a little email newsletter with about 10 stories of Good News happening in the world.  Some are big deal prime time newscast items, others are small gestures someone saw and noted publicly.  This is an article they included in my e-newsletter this week...perfect for this weekend's holiday.

I've always tried to write a little note to those who have helped me out or who taught me a new way of looking at something,  I write thank you notes for gifts received and aid given.  It has always warmed my heart, but this research sounds like it does much more than that for me too.

Thanksgiving Power: The Benefits of Acknowledgment

By Good News Network Thursday, November 21, 2013 

Can you remember how it feels when someone tells you how wonderful you are, or when you receive an unexpected thank-you gift  in the mail?  You felt really happy, right? But, how can we sustain those feelings of happiness longer and more consistently on our own?

One author says we can actually generate those feelings more abundantly when we give them away. Judith Umlas studies why it is important to give positive acknowledgment to our fellow human beings. With Thanksgiving coming up next week in the US, Americans will be given ample opportunities to prove this theory and see if they can keep up their own happiness while boosting others. Check out this article by Donald Officer that first appeared in Positive Psychology News:

Give it away so you can keep it

Gratitude has long been appreciated as a powerful implement in the happiness toolkit. From early on Positive Psychologists have recommended the keeping of a gratitude journal. However, as Martin Seligman and others concede, after a while just recording blessings starts to lose luster. To keep energy high, gratitude must be paid forward – expressed as open acknowledgment which takes on a vibrancy of its own.
Judith Umlas, author of Grateful Leadership: Using the Power of Acknowledgment to Engage All Your People and Achieve Superior Results, has forged a successful, rewarding career out of acknowledging acknowledgement. As Senior Vice President at New York based International Institute for Learning Inc., she has lived her credo for 20 odd years. I heard it in her voice when I interviewed her. This is no mere mantra: she believes deeply in the value of actual practice to both the acknowledger and the acknowledged.

In this book, Judy buttresses her own largely anecdotal evidence with several well known gratitude and acknowledgment studies. Her material is thoroughly documented, often in the words of her clients. She has distilled her experiences into principles that even the gratitude averse can apply, which will be helpful to consultants, managers, coaches and other professional practitioners.
Umlas has written about acknowledgement before. She published The Power of Acknowledgment in 2006. Her focus was transformed, however, while working at CBS as an executive producer well into the final weeks of her pregnancy. She began to realize how many people go without acknowledgement throughout their working careers. Even while devoting the utmost care and a high-level of personalized service, working people are routinely let-down when their dedication is ignored.

Is there a price to be paid for overlooking the contributions of people we work and live with? Gallup surveys suggest a strong link between full productive loyal engagement and acknowledgement. Moreover, reports and exit interviews show unacknowledged high performing employees often leave their jobs even when extrinsic rewards and intrinsic satisfaction are high. How many other important relationships unravel for the same reason?

Like every important change in our lives, learning to practice acknowledgement is often difficult. Consider the ingrained culturally sanctioned habits that prompt criticism over appreciation, starting with ourselves. Gratitude is crucial to acknowledgement. But we need to embrace the habit to realize its importance. Umlas summarizes what it takes to practice acknowledgment as five Cs: consciousness, choice, courage, communication and commitment. Courage especially.

Corporate Culture or Laziness?

Judy Umlas lists several excuses associated with a reluctance to acknowledge. Some suggest it is cheapened by overuse or looks like favoritism.

Yet the author says simple thanks, plus recognition, plus acknowledgement constitute a three part “appreciation paradigm.” It is far more than a management tool, even though it very much contributes to the bottom line. The army, for example, has asked Judy to teach her acknowledgment approach in its program of suicide prevention.

In his forward Doug Rauch, retired Trader Joe’s president and current CEO of Conscious Capitalism Inc., expresses his belief that capitalism is changing. He observes that, “When you create a true culture of care, of gratitude, unbelievable things occur.”

Other CEOs agree. Leaders at Whole Foods Market, The Westervelt Company, General Mills and Prudential Annuities have all lent their profiles to this book. Their experiences remind us of the happiness dividend which is enabled by gratitude.

Judy Umlas is on solid scientific ground, too. She begins with citations from Martin Seligman’s landmark letter of gratitude study, and continues through Tal Ben-Shahar’s Even Happier: A Gratitude Journal for Daily Joy and Lasting Fulfillment. She cites specific studies including the 2003 Miami University study by Robert Emmons and Michael McCullough on gratitude’s effects on physical and emotional well-being.

All this research underscores the role that unambiguous, heartfelt enunciation of achievement can play in this virtuous cycle. For acknowledgement is much like mercy as Shakespeare writes in The Merchant of Venice, “…it is twice blessed; it blesseth him that gives and him that takes”.

Read the full article, with references, at Positive Psychology News

Donald Officer, MA '89 is a strategic thinking practitioner who melds problem solving and emerging research models to help clients anticipate unexpected scenarios and opportunities. In addition to coaching, facilitation, consulting and teaching, Don writes and blogs at Strategic Praxis, where he welcomes comments. He is a certified facilitator and member of the International Coach Federation and the Canadian Positive Psychology Association.

The Thing About Today Is, It's Now

I know it is only Tuesday and not everyone has extra days off this week, but I am excited today because--even though I have to work today and tomorrow yet--The Girl is coming home tonight for Thanksgiving weekend.

I know she was home briefly over Labor Day weekend, and then again in October for her fall break weekend.  But this is holiday weekend where the whole holiday is about being together as a family and eating good food.  Sure there is room for some time with friends, but I am hoping--though I haven't pushed for her plans yet--she will have time to spend with us this weekend.

I used to inwardly roll my eyes when I heard Harry Chapin's "Cat's in the Cradle"--do you remember it?

My child arrived just the other day
He came to the world in the usual way
But there were planes to catch and bills to pay
He learned to walk while I was away
And he was talkin' 'fore I knew it, and as he grew
He'd say "I'm gonna be like you, Dad
You know I'm gonna be like you"

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home, Dad
I don't know when, but we'll get together then
You know we'll have a good time then

My son turned ten just the other day
He said, "Thanks for the ball, Dad, come on let's play
can you teach me to throw", I said "Not today
I got a lot to do", he said, "That's ok
And he walked away but his smile never dimmed
And said, "I'm gonna be like him, yeah
You know I'm gonna be like him"

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home, Dad
I don't know when, but we'll get together then
You know we'll have a good time then

Well, he came from college just the other day
So much like a man I just had to say
"Son, I'm proud of you, can you sit for a while"
He shook his head and said with a smile
"What I'd really like, Dad, is to borrow the car keys
See you later, can I have them please"

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home son
I don't know when, but we'll get together then, Dad
You know we'll have a good time then

I've long since retired, my son's moved away
I called him up just the other day
I said, "I'd like to see you if you don't mind"
He said, "I'd love to, Dad, if I can find the time
You see my new job's a hassle and kids have the flu
But it's sure nice talking to you, Dad
It's been sure nice talking to you"

And as I hung up the phone it occurred to me
He'd grown up just like me
My boy was just like me

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man in the moon
When you comin' home son
I don't know when, but we'll get together then, Dad
We're gonna have a good time then.

Sadly, the older I get I am realizing that this song is true, and it happens when you aren't looking and MUCH faster than you anticipate.  So with The Girl coming home this weekend, I'm looking forward to sitting around and just soaking it all in.  This family time doesn't last for long.  And as the kids are quickly turning into grown ups themselves, I feel doomed to repeating the story from this song.  And it breaks my heart.

I Do Not Think That Word Means What You Think It Means

I got a letter in the last week from our health insurance company.  Yes, we are some of those weirdos who have paid privately for health coverage.  We didn't have a job with coverage, so we bought our own.  It's called "responsibility".  But that is another blog post.

I got a letter that informs me that our coverage will shift beginning on January 1st, but that because of the Affordable Care Act, we have a new choice available.  We can keep our current policy as it is.  Or we can add the ACA benefits to our policy.

Those benefits, you ask?  Our individual deductible can remain the same ($7500 as it is now)  or drop to $6000 in the new year, as well as a prescription deduction drop (from $1000) to $350.  In all the essentials, those are the only changes.

And since this Act is "Affordable" our premium each month will go from a $327 to $701.  Boy, I'm so grateful this act was AFFORABLE!  I guess I should just be glad the policy was canceled and then uncanceled for another year.


And luckily for me, this is a moot point, as Genius Golfer's new job will offer health care insurance.  Though not at the rock bottom price we have been paying.

This whole national uproar is INCONCEIVABLE. It's like getting in to a battle of wits with a  Sicilian.

"I do not thin' dat word meens wha chew thin' it means"

Video Sunday

Hahahahhaa!

That Was Nice to Hear

On Monday, after Genius Golfer left for his new job, and The Boy had left for school, I headed out to work too.  GG and I had talked about me needing to be home in the afternoon so The Boy wasn't just left home alone.

I know, he is 16 and a half, and fairly responsible.  But is is 16 and a half.  And I'm his mom.

So at some point during the day, I poked my head into my boss' office and ask if he had a minute.  Sure, he said in his usual friendly way.  I told him that GG started a job that morning and that I know it was short notice but I'd really need to go to the 9am-3pm schedule we talked about weeks before.  He said that he'd be happy to make that happen, and told me that as soon as 3 PM comes along just to go home.

I was grateful for the understanding that I'm a mom first and then an employee.  I'm not sure I have ever worked where that was the case.  But it was nice.  And at 3 PM I was clocking out and heading home to check on The Boy.

Yesterday my boss caught me in a moment when things were slow and told me that when I came into to talk with him on Monday he thought I was going to tell him I quit.  He said he was freaking out on the inside.

I reassured him and told him that we have a lot of making up to do financially and that even if that were done quickly, I've got two missions and a college tuition yet to pay for, so he's stuck with me for a while.

It's nice to feel needed, and valued at work.  I know I am lucky to have that.  It hasn't always been that way.

A Joke for My Dad

I love a good joke, especially a blonde joke.  This one has a political twist, just for my dad.

This is the story of the blonde flying in a two-seater airplane
with just the pilot. He has a heart attack and dies.

She, frantic, calls out a May Day."May Day! May Day! Help me!
Help me!My pilot had a heart attack and is dead. And I don't know how to fly.Help me! Please help me!"

She hears a voice over the radio saying:

"This is Air Traffic Control and I have you loud and clear. I will talk you through this and get you back on the ground. I've had a lot of experience with this kind of problem. Now, just take a deep breath.  Everything will be fine! Now give me your height and position."

"She says, "I'm 5'4" and I support Obama."

"O.K." says the voice on the radio....Repeat after me: Our Father Who art in Heaven...."

If I Ever Had a "Dream" Guest Blogger, This Would Be Him

I know my parents will see this if I post it here, even though I swiped it from Facebook.  I loved this.  I even read it out loud this morning to The Boy.  My parents' 50th anniversary is fast approaching.  And Mr. And Mrs. Rowe sure would have been "our kind of people" growing up--and still today, for that matter.  For whatever reason, I see a lot of my parents' wisdom in the Rowes' parenting style.  Or maybe I just think their son, Mike, is hysterical and so smart!

As of today, John and Peggy Rowe have been married for exactly 53 years.

If you ask them how they did it, they’ll credit an uncompromising honesty with one another. If you press them, though, you’ll learn their commitment to the truth did not extend to their children. Indeed, when it came to raising three boys on the salary of a public-school teacher, my parents lied like rugs.

I remember a television commercial that used to air during the Baltimore Orioles home games. It was for an amusement park in Ocean City, Md., and according to the announcer, a visit there would afford me “the time of my life.” At that particular moment, my life had amounted to nine years, and for the most part, I was satisfied with the way things were going. Then I saw The Wild Mouse.

The Wild Mouse was a giant roller-coaster that threatened to leap from our black-and-white television and smash through the wall of our tiny den. It shared the boardwalk with the Round-Up, the Tilt-a-Whirl, and several other mysterious contraptions that plunged and spun this way and that. I had never seen anything like them – a parade of machines devised for no other purpose than pure enjoyment. I remember the camera zooming in on a kid about my age. He was strapped into The Wild Mouse next to a pretty girl, his excitement teetering on the verge of rapture. I was transfixed.

“Hey, Peggy, get a load of these ding-a-lings on the TV. I think they’re gonna puke on each other.”

My parents sat on the sofa behind me. They spoke very casually, but loud enough for me to hear. “Oh, those poor children. Why would anyone stand in line all day just to get vomited on?”

“Obviously, Peggy, those kids are deranged. Look at ‘em.” I searched the sea of jubilant faces for signs of idiocy or nausea.

“Isn’t it sad, John, how some children need machines to have fun?”

“It sure is, Peg. It sure is.”

Later in the game another commercial appeared, this one for a new movie called Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. It was playing at The Senator, and according to the announcer, it was “a thrilling film for the whole family … a must-see event!” I had never been to The Senator before, or any other movie theater. I was captivated.

“Tell me something, Peg. Why would anyone want to see the movie, when they could read the book instead? Books are so much more interesting.”

“Well, John, as I understand it, movies are for children who can’t read very well. Isn’t that sad?”

“It sure is, Peg. It sure is.”

In 1971, there was no money for amusement parks or “must-see” events. But I never felt bad about missing such things. I was too busy feeling sorry for people who had to endure them.

“Hey, Dad, can we order a pizza tonight?”

“A what?” We had never eaten a pizza before, much less ordered one. The concept of food delivery was completely foreign.

“Bobby Price says his mother has a pizza pie delivered right to their house every Friday night," I said. "And Chinese food every Wednesday.”

My father sighed, and spoke with a hint of sadness. “Look, son, Bobby’s mother doesn’t know how to cook. It’s not her fault they can’t have normal food.” Then, quietly to my mother. “Peg, maybe you should call Mrs. Price and give her the recipe for your meatloaf casserole.”

“Of course, John. That poor boy deserves a home-cooked meal.”

“He sure does, Peg. He sure does.”

It was a strange sort of snobbery to develop at such an early age – this sympathy for the fortunate – but that’s precisely what my parents engendered. With duplicity and guile, they turned envy to pity. By the time I was 11, I felt nothing but compassion for my classmates who were forced to wear the latest fashion. Sadly, they had no older cousins to provide them with a superior wardrobe of “softer, studier, broken-in alternatives.”

My parents' subterfuge was second-nature, as it had to be, for temptations were everywhere.

One Sunday after church, our neighbors came by with a slideshow from their most recent family vacation - hundreds of photos from Yellowstone and Yosemite. The Brannigans stayed for hours and told stories about Indians and geysers and wild bears. My brothers and I were spellbound. When they left, my dad smiled and waved as they pulled out of the driveway, but when he turned around, his expression said it all. “Oh, those poor bastards.”

Like a Greek chorus, my mother was right there, dabbing at her eyes with a Kleenex. “Gosh, John, can you imagine flying all the way across the country just to take a walk in the woods?”

“No, honey, I sure can’t. But then again, not everyone has a forest in their own backyard!”

“That’s a good point, John. That’s a very good point.”

My parents shifted their gaze toward the large tract of woods just beyond our pasture, and looked with satisfaction at the epicenter of affordable and sensible amusement that kept me occupied on a daily basis. A swift running creek, a swamp of frogs and cattails, an old wooden bridge, and a maze of hidden trails that might lead anywhere.

Later, when I was less gullible (and TV commercials more persuasive), a new parenting style would evolve, one that included phrases like, “No!” and “Because I said so!” But when I entered the sixth grade, I did so with a firm understanding that that movie theaters were for the illiterate, vacations for the unimaginative, and home delivery for lazy housewives that couldn’t cook. As for amusement parks, they were probably OK, if you didn’t mind waiting in line all day for a chance to vomit on your friend.

Anyway, my parents celebrated their 53rd anniversary with a cruise. They sailed down through the Panama Canal and saw the rain forests of Costa Rica. They assure me they had a great time. But I’m gonna need to see some pictures.

Happy Anniversary.

Mike

Oh! That Explains It

Yesterday at work, my computer was being very temperamental.  It would boot up then I'd try to get into a program--any program-- and almost as quickly the computer would kick me off and shut down  the program.  This went on all day.  It was a nearly useless day at work for me, except I did several projects that were more manual labor than computer driven projects.  I steam cleaned the men's restroom, for example.

 The funny part was that when I first finally got this machine to boot up, this is what was waiting for me:

Afternoon Driver, Alec, who is a UVU student, but a UofU fan, thought this would be a funny prank.  And since he had access to my computer over the weekend--he was on call--he made the Ute's logo my screen caver.

It is VERY harsh to look at as a BYU fan, and even a USU parent.  The red is just glaring.  It hurts me eyes, and my heart.

As the day progressed and I still couldn't get on my machine, I told Alec that he infected it with some sort of Utes virus and that I was quite put out.  He just laughed and thought he was so funny!

Meanwhile, I am trying to concoct a retaliatory plan and scheme to get him back for this.  Oh, and hope that my computer will work today.

Blurred Day Ends In Good News

Yesterday was, quite simply, a blur.

The Boy left for school at his normal time, but was also headed to an invitational swim meet in Cedar City before lunch.   It is an overnight event, and one the swim team looks forward too all year.  We got him off--and with enough cash to feed himself for the weekend--before I needed to take off.

I had a surprising phone call--out of the blue--earlier this week from a woman who had once upon a time purchased some of my photo note cards at a little boutique I had one entered.  She asked if I was the one who used to make the cards.  I told her yes, and that I still make them but I hadn't sold any in a boutique for a while.  She asked if she could send me a check for another set of cards.  Sure, I told her.  Well, her check arrived shortly and I delivered her cards before work yesterday.  Luckily she didn't live very far away.

Genius Golfer had asked if I would take the Durango to work yesterday, as he got a call for an interview in Murray and wanted to drive the little Honda.  So I had to get gas in the beast Durango--where the gas gauge still doesn't really work, so the milage trip odometer is a really important tool.  It was trying to rain all morning, so the big vehicle was kind of nice to drive again.

I worked a full day 9am-6pm, plus a little.  the day was crazy--as they always seem to be when I have two regular office guys gone, the billing gal is gone, and my next-cube-neighbor has to leave for physical therapy.  One of the drivers had really great seats for the Jazz game last night, so he wanted to get off early, and the other driver (we still haven't gotten a third guy hired yet!) was the one on-call that night.  His schedule of deliveries and pick ups looked to keep him out until almost 10 PM.  I hope not for his sake, but the job is like that sometimes.

Then after work I met two darling friends and we saw the high school's production of The Baker's Wife.  I'd never heard of this show before, but it was beautifully done.  A story of mistakes, repentance and forgiveness.  The lead was one of our stake's YW who has an unbelievable voice.  And Abbey did a completely fantastic job!

Then I came home, and freaked out a little thinking GG had taken the truck, but then I remembered The Boy drove to school and then took the bus to Cedar City...doh.  GG was in the basement working.  I asked him how the interview went--holding my breath a little for fear it would be a report like the others were when he has interviewed at BYU, or other places and didn't get the job.  Instead, he was offered the job on the spot essentially, and begins work Monday.

His new employer is a company called Connexion Point and their website says this about them: ConnexionPoint (cXp) is a rapidly growing leading healthcare contact center partner for Fortune 100 health insurance organizations. We are seeking bright and motivated individuals to join our all-star sales and support team as we expand throughout Utah and Texas – and we need you!

GG's new job is a programming one--not so much the customer service or call center things.  But he is working with another programmer he knew back in the Noni days.  It was Ken who actually set up the interview for him.   The company has 1200, or so, employees at the moment.  Benefits are part of his package.  No 401K yet, but they are working on it.  The company has only been around about 3 years, and they have grown 300% each year they have been in business.  the pay is about half of what he made at his last job, but is certainly better than "running out of money in February," which was the option staring me in the face.

He will have some very long hours to start, as the company works with Medicare enrollments and the open enrollment period is NOW!  The other programmer, Ken, said that last week he was working 5AM -9PM.  Maybe with a little extra help from someone who knows how to do this sort of thing, all of them will have more reasonable hours.  GG tells me he still wants to try to do the couple of contract jobs he had lined up already on the side.  Since he doesn't seem to require as much sleep as normal people, that might be possible for him.  I told him to start taking a multivitamin, just to help a little bit.

I'm not too sure bout much more with this job.  But as we learn I'll let you in on what we know.  I just am so grateful something came up.  I feel like I have been praying for something to come along that would be the "right fit" for him and for the family for 25 months now.  I'm grateful GG kept a level head and had the patience I didn't in order to find something that will really work for us.  And who knows?  Maybe this will give us the option to moving to San Antonio someday.  The Boy would be thrilled.

Needed To Hear It Again

Since the new Ensign magazine arrived at our home, I have made it a goal to read one talk a day and ponder the messages from October's General Conference one at a time.  This morning I read Elder Christofferson's "The Moral Force of Women".  (You can review it HERE.)

I remember hearing it during conference as I watched it live on TV, and wondered how many of the "Ordain Women" sisters he was speaking to.  A cynical thought, I know, but that was what I had thought at the time.

This morning, however, I read his words and heard them as if they were given to teach ME.  As I read this morning, I realized that I really want to be like Sister Daines, whom Elder Christofferson wrote about as having influenced him for good when hew as growing up.  I had a member of our stake presidency tell me that much when I served in our Stake YW presidency--that I would have a lasting influence for good on the kids we worked with during our term of service.  I hope that is true.

As my favorite TREK "sons" have been returning home from missions--another returned home last night, in fact--I hope that they still know that I love them and just how very proud I am of them, how much they inspire me and how much I admire their willingness to serve the Lord.

I thought of the time I have had to spend in my children's schools and of the kids I had an opportunity to see on a regular basis there.  I hope they could feel God's love through my service to them.  I hope they learned from what I did and the efforts we made as PTA members and leaders to build them up and give them more chances to learn.

Elder Christofferson said:

"Former Young Women general president Margaret D. Nadauld taught: “The world has enough women who are tough; we need women who are tender. There are enough women who are coarse; we need women who are kind. There are enough women who are rude; we need women who are refined. We have enough women of fame and fortune; we need more women of faith. We have enough greed; we need more goodness. We have enough vanity; we need more virtue. We have enough popularity; we need more purity.”¹⁰ In blurring feminine and masculine differences, we lose the distinct, complementary gifts of women and men that together produce a greater whole.

"My plea to women and girls today is to protect and cultivate the moral force that is within you. Preserve that innate virtue and the unique gifts you bring with you into the world. Your intuition is to do good and to be good, and as you follow the Holy Spirit, your moral authority and influence will grow. To the young women I say, don’t lose that moral force even before you have it in full measure. Take particular care that your language is clean, not coarse; that your dress reflects modesty, not vanity; and that your conduct manifests purity, not promiscuity. You cannot lift others to virtue on the one hand if you are entertaining vice on the other.".

I hope I will be remembered as one who tried to make the world -- or at least the little part where I get to be -- a little better than it would have been if I wasn't there.  But most of all, I hope that I have done something good, something that my Heavenly Father is pleased with and that I will be able to answer for happily at the judgement of the Lord.

Repeat in Volleyball

I know my own kids don't play high school volleyball, but it is sure fun to watch.  Last Saturday I got to go see the high school girls repeat as state champions in volleyball.  It was exciting to see.  This doesn't even look the same as the volleyball the young women (attempt to) play at church.

A bit shaky, I know, but the crowd was really into the game--and the VB girls played their hearts out.  Once the championship was sealed, the student council (the adviser, at least) lit the G to celebrate!  Good things happen in this town.  It is fun to be even a little part of that.