Hard Day

I had a very long, difficult day yesterday with Dear Friend Tammy. ALS is a horrific disease and the slow, steady decline is difficult to watch. I am certain it is much, much worse for her.

While I should like to kick and scream about the disease itself, today I'd like to share the sideshow experience from my visit with Tammy yesterday afternoon. As a vent, rant, or raving. Whichever you see fit to call it.

As I have commented on previously, she has three daughters. Yesterday the youngest was home from school sick. According to Mr. Rick, Youngest had been throwing up all morning. When I got there she was sacked out in the small hallway upstairs, just outside the girls' bathroom.

There were a couple of new things to adjust to since Christmas--a microphone for Tammy to help us understand what she is trying to say. (Her voice is getting weaker and weaker and communicating is about all she has left.) And also a new fancy pants DVD player. But these things were minor. I can adjust, or make vain attempts several times until I finally get it right.

Youngest was only to have ice, as she had thrown up even the Pepto-Bismol. But Mr. Rick left out some dried chicken soup she could have of she woke up later and finally felt hungry.

As a side note here, in the interest of full disclosure, I don't really do that sort of thing for my own kids. If they are sick, they are in bed with a barf bucket sitting beside them. Yes, I am that mean.

Anyway, we went along our regular day with Tammy needing the cough-assist and mucus suctioning several times. We got to watch a movie, Eloise at the Plaza-the Christmas version. That may have been a telling sign for me. (What a brat that little girl is...if I may say. Who would want their children watching this sort of thing...to get any ideas?)

By this point, Youngest had moved herself into her own room, requested a specific movie to be brought to her and set herself up in just a bed sheet, a la a scene from Day of our Lives. (She is about 11, remember.) Then she told me to "shut my bedroom room." No "please", or "thanks". Just her demands.

Normally, I would chalk that up to her being sick, but she has been home other times, not ill, and she behaves the same way toward me. Who knows? Maybe it is just me.Oh, and there was never any throwing up while I was there.

About 2PM, Mr. Rick called the house. I picked up the phone, thinking he perhaps forgot something or was just checking on Youngest's condition. Nope. He called because Youngest had just called him on his cell phone, from her cell phone, in her room, on his only day away from the medical drama he lives every day, where he is working at the office, doing a full time job regardless of where he is working, to tell him that she was ready for her soup.

I am just inside the open door across the hall from her.

He said she told him that her voice hurt so she didn't want to yell.

I've heard her talk to their dogs when she had laryngitis with more vigor than a normal healthy voice. Yet it hurt too much to ask me for the soup?!?

Were I Jewish, here is the the spot for the "Oy, vey!"

Sadly, the more I thought about that, the more irritated I have become.

Now, I know my own kids are not perfect angels, but I should like to hope, at least, that they are more considerate than that. And that they respect their dad more than to bug him at work for something so stupid. And that if someone else, not their mom, was in the house when they were home sick and specifically there to help their mom, that they would show a little respect for them. Maybe I an hoping for too much.

And here is where I should insert the public service announcement for NOT spoiling your kids rotten.

Hard to believe. Perhaps, I just have unreasonable expectations. That bit just added to the emotional hurting I feel for Tammy when I spend five hours with her and have to do four full cough/suction treatments and realize that she potentially could go on like this--yet decreasing in strength and communication skills--for a few more years.

Yeah, it was a hard day. For all of us.

Off Base?

Yesterday I received a baby shower invitation from our niece-in-law for a shower she is hosting for our niece. Normally, The Girl and I would be thrilled to be going to such an event. But this one doesn't have me in that sort of mood.

I guess my biggest problem is that, as a bargain shopper, I tend to seek out and find gifts that are significantly less costly than they appear and I feel like I am giving a quality gift for a fraction of the price. That is the fun in bargain shopping for me, anyway. Apparently, between myself and this generation of nieces something has switched.

Our NIL has invited all the family members on both sides of this new little family to dole out $25-$50 each to put toward the niece's "baby room". Her goal is to collect enough money to purchase a new crib and changing table and then "let her friends" buy up all the little things a nursery needs.

Well, I had two children. We had a no frills crib, that we later passed on to someone else who needed it, and there was no "changing table". Instead, we found a real sturdy microwave stand that worked great as a diaper storage unit and changing table. In fact, it was so sturdy that is now serving as a bed-side table for Genius Golfer--holding a plethora of items in the drawer and storing many blankets and quilts in the cabinet below.

I never would have expected my family outfitting the whole nursery. Especially at the premium prices she is talking about. I knew I was expecting a baby for 8 months--The Girl was 5 weeks early--and I knew when we got pregnant that this child would be our responsibility, as we were her parents. I knew what we could afford, and we carefully and thoughtfully bought was was necessary, but it was pretty plain Jane. The baby couldn't care less.

Where does that responsibility to provide the necessities give way to wanting fancy pants baby gear paid for by others? Even to the point of nearly demanding it in a cute invitation poem? I'm at a loss here. I feel like I am being held hostage to supply unreasonable remands. Besides, I sort of enjoy shopping for baby stuff, especially as I don't get to do it very often. Now, this way, I am mandated to give money, rather than choose something of my liking and within my budget.

I recall my parents buying The Girl's microwave stand and a dresser, but I don't remember asking them for that. We graciously accepted that as a gift to their granddaughter, and later the grandson. Mom, am I wrong there?

As it is, I have a basketball assignment for the Young Women in our stake the day of the shower, so I am not going to make it after all. And I think I will drop off the little outfit I had already picked out for the baby and a book I picked up on a screaming deal and call it good. They can call me a bad Auntie. I think I am OK with that.

Bonnet Dramas are Coming!

Prepare ye, prepare ye! Masterpiece Classic is back Sunday with an all new miniseries from the BBC. This Return to Cranford will air on PBS Sunday night (consult your local listings). This is a new look back at some wonderful friends we met last year on Masterpiece.

Return to Cranford will air on January 10th and the 17th. Two 90 minute episodes. I can already hear my heart skip a beat. I do so enjoy these shows.

Plus, following Return to Cranford, the BBC has redone Jane Austen's Emma and that will air on January 24 & February 7th. A couple other encore Jane Austen BBC films will follow--Northanger Abbey and Persuasion. Oh. These are delicious as well.

So, if you are looking to find me on Sunday nights in the near future, I'll be parked in front of the TV pretending I live in an more genteel and polite society. Hope you'll join me there.

NEXT!

While The Girl and Genius Golfer were down yesterday, they have bounced back today. The Girl is off to school and GG was off to work.

The Boy and myself are taking our turns today however. I just got out of bed at 2 PM. WHAT?! That is right. I took my turn int he carpool to get kids to school and fell back into bed fighting a migraine and achy joints. Luckily no puking.

The Boy was up in the night puking, so today he is home and is just laying around too.

Can't we all be well at the same time. I don't have time to be sick...which is why it seems to hit me like this. The body demands some care and attention, and when I blow off that attention, it will get me in the long run.

Sick, I Tell You, SICK!

Today should be the first day back at school for everyone. Instead, The Boy went back to school, and The Girl is home from school, SICK. Yes, that is what I said. She is showing flu like symptoms: sore throat, achy joints, sinus issues....

As if that wasn't enough, Gneius Golfer is also still home in bed. Apparently he is taking the day off as well to rest and recouperate. Now, he did work throughout the holiday break, so it isn't like he played every day, like some people. But still.

Today was supposed to be MY break. You know with everyone back at school and work and the house to myself and routines to fall back into, but NO! I have to wait for that comforting routine to return, and still have to nurse these two back to health.

I'd like to note for the record, that when I am sick there is no one who will "nurse" me to health around here. I'm left to myself, but no one regularly brings me juice and checks in to see if I need anything. I'm just saying....

That is so not fair. Yet it is the way of the world. Dang it.

Video Sunday

A very dear friend sent this to me and the day I received it I couldn't have had more need for its message. I hope you enjoy this and recognize the truth in it. Happy Sunday, everyone.