Awwww...He was Quite a Guy

I was intending to post about friends and Girls' Nights Out but when I opened my web browser, I saw the headline that Paul Newman had died. I'm not a big star watcher, but I sincerely felt bad that he had passed.

Here's a guy who co-starred in one the the best movies from the year I was born: Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. Who doesn't love that movie?!

Here's a guy with so much screen presence to play the escaped and running inmate so well that you can still see his his squinty face from Cool Hand Luke.

Here's a guy who finds a woman in "the business" and marries her and decades later they are together still (well, until last night). A guy who goes so far as to tell a magazine when they ask about the temptation to stray "When you have steak at home, why go out for hamburger?" [Though I do question his analogy in using meat to describe the quality of his dear wife, Joanne.]

Here's a guy who has his neighbors over for a BBQ and they come up with an idea to market his "famous" salad dressing with his face on the bottle and turns it into a charitable corporation that has given away over $100 million dollars.

Here's a guy who uses the money his foundation collects to fund camp(s) for kids with cancer and then and then names the campsites after the true to life "Hole in the Wall Gang", alluding to his Butch and Sundance association.

Here's a guy who looses his only son to an overdose and is prompted to start a foundation in his son's name to fund anti-drug films to be shown in schools across the country.

Here's a guy who seemingly had it all and still found a new challenge for himself in racing, which isn't nearly as glamorous and easy as movie stars think it is.

Here's a guy who appeared on Oprah with one of his 4 daughters to promote a cookbook that they coauthored titled: Newman's Own Cookbook: A Veritable Cornucopia of Recipes, Food Talk, Trivia, and Newman's Pearls of Wisdom, the sales of which added its proceeds to those of the Newman's Own company.

Here's a guy who, into his late 70s, recorded the voice for the seasoned professional, Doc Hudson, in one of my favorite animated movies ever, Pixar's film Cars.

Here's a guy that fought his battle with cancer in private and with family and friends for his support. Isn't that way most of us would do it?


Too bad celebrities of today haven't taken a page from this guy. Yes, his piercing baby blues may not ever be equalled, but his character--from my vantage point, at least--is what made his quite a guy.

Must Need a Filter Change

I had an episode last night, that had you witnessed it, you would have believed me to be in Junior High. Why does our silliness-censor blitz out sometimes? And you know when it does, it is always at the most inappropriate times.

We had a School Community Council meeting last night. I've sat on this now for almost 3 years, and have learned a lot from it. The parents and faculty that make up this group of people are fantastic and I consider them my friends. I've already emailed them a formal apology for being a complete dork last night.

After something like this, I always analyze it and try to figure out the WHY of my behavior. For this one, I have no idea. I wasn't freshly caffeinated; I had just come from our Young Women's Volleyball opening game; I had eaten something for dinner. I hadn't even been inhaling copious paint fumes from Dear Friend Micheale's bathroom painting project, because we didn't get that far yesterday. So those can't be good reasons.

Whatever filter in my mind keeps you from saying or doing dumb things, must be so dirty that there isn't any more filtering being done. Apparently I am not changing it every month, like you do your furnace filters. I wonder if I can still get replacements to fit? I feel my mental capacity shrinking most days, so maybe I can get a smaller size. That would be the only thing I can get in a smaller size. Figures, doesn't it?

Thoughts for Parent/Teacher Conference

Yesterday I scheduled The Boy's Parent-Teacher Conference. All evening long I was thinking about this opportunity. And the things I need to bring up at that meeting.

The Boy's teacher is brand new--not just to the school we have been at now for 9 years, but new to the profession of teaching. He apparently did something else in his professional career (with school age kids, he assured me) and now has attained a teaching credential and is a brand new teacher. Also, I understand that his wife is a school administrator in another district, so that adds weight to his expertise, right?

I was a brand new teacher once too, in a well established school with parents who were involved and trying to help. It can be intimidating and overwhelming from that side of the desk. But from this side of the desk, it looks very different. So to prepare myself, I thought I should write a list of discussion point I would like to bring up with Mr. New Teacher:

*It is now more than a month into the school year and I haven't seen The Boy bring home any spelling words. Or any writing assignments. Or a reading log with required reading for home. Do you have plans for any of these subjects in this class?

*I have been asking The Boy about his Guided Reading groups. He looks at me like he doesn't know what I am talking about. Will you be utilizing the trailer filled with the school's Guided Reading library? Will that be happening in this subject in your class this year?

* I have noticed, with curiosity, that The Boy has regularly spoken about the choice of classroom pets for nearly 3 weeks. I understand that it has been settled upon by bringing a bearded dragon lizard into the room. Did it actually take three weeks to decide, or where you filling time with the pet campaign instead of doing history, geography or social studies of any kind?

*The Boy was outspoken and highly disappointed when the "Bravo Board Bingo" was held and he received no prize while other select kids, according to The Boy, earned two or three prizes each. I understand the prizes were in the $2-$5 range, each. I have no problem with them receiving rewards for their own good behavior, but have you thought about just giving them a bookmark or a homemade certificate? This would save not only your money, but also the student's expectations that they come to school for the prizes and not the learning. Besides, as I understand it, you are running a classroom, not a popularity contest here.

*Finally, as I collect The Boy every day after school, it seems he regularly has a treat of some kind to tell me about that he ate in class that day. Is this bribing with treats plan working as your classroom management? The kids should be expected to behave, and as the teacher, you set that expectation for their behavior. Being consistent and firm in your rules in class will go a long way in helping them learn to control themselves and, consequently, the overall behavior in your class. Again, my kindest suggestion would be to eliminate food rewards and then the kids won't expect a treat every time they do something correctly. A little Pavlovian, isn't it?

So, Friends, what do you think? Do you think I am being too demanding of the teacher? Too interested in the plan he has for this class? Am I a helicopter parent here? Should I continue my line of questioning to include whether he intends to follow the Utah State based curriculum and testing requirements? Or the NCLB breakdown of sub-groups required to be tested with the state standardized test? And am I a little too sarcastic? I have about two weeks to work the kinks out before I meet with the teacher. I'll keep fine-tuning my questions.

On the Run versus Hunkered Down at Home

Recently I received one of those "Getting to Know Your Friends" emails where the friend wants your answers to questions like: Are you a morning person, or late nighter? Do you prefer diamonds or pearls? What did you have for breakfast? What is your favorite day of the week?

The day of the week has always stumped me. I get a gut reaction that Monday is my favorite day, but then I think, 'Yes, but it is early out, I have a ton to do, I never get it all finished, we run, run, run after school, and I usually fall into bed nearly unconscious."

But I realized last night just why it is that I like Mondays so much. It is the day (at least, right now) that all of us are home together for a reasonable period of time.

Yes, Mondays are busy. Yes, we run like crazy people after school. Yes, The Boy even has football practice on Mondays, but they get done a bit earlier than on other days. Genius Golfer usually gets home in time to watch the end of The Boy's practice and bring him home where we all eat dinner together and have Family Home Evening. (Then I crash into bed as if dead.)

I think it is the eating dinner together. I don't like to cook anyway, but as I do make something, I much prefer to eat in one sitting than arrange for various servings to get out. Monday is generally like that--all together, eating at the table (as opposed to on the run), and making dinner worth it.

Last night was the exact opposite. I ended up feeding The Boy a microwavable in 90 seconds beef and potatoes "meal" from the basement that I got on sale with a coupon to try. Genius Golfer and I ran an errand after dropping The Boy to Scouts (The Girl was already at Young Women) and we mosied to our local Mexican grill for salads (which are delish) and I brought leftovers home in the form of a chimichanga to fry up for The Girl when she got home. It was very disjointed. And not together. And felt a little slacker-y.

Maybe it is a point of control that I am having to release as the kids get bigger and more busy. Maybe it is just laziness on my part that I haven't figured out a better solution yet. Either way, I just prefer to have my family at home, eating what I made for dinner (with no complaints--if this is the ideal I can say that), all at the same time.

Opposition in All Things

Yesterday, as we were walking our car-less pool of kids home, my favorite hoodie sweatshirt (which was tied around my waist) got caught by a bent piece of chain link fence and torn.

Luckily, it was a $4 find on the men's clearance rack at Kohl's, and I do have a sewing machine, and it is only a hoodie.


I got a call last night to speak with one of the high councilors in another ward this Sunday when I was already planning on visiting our last ward of Young Women as a Stake YW Presidency.

Luckily, he assigned me a very specific topic and gave me a shorter amount of time than normal, and I can speak about almost anything for 10-12 minutes.


I am down to only one pair of everyday shoes, as my sneakers are wearing out and I haven't yet found another pair I like as much.

Luckily, I still have the one pair I like and they have enough wear left in them that I can keep wearing them until I do find something. And I have the resources that I can buy an new pair when I need them and not on a more limited basis.


The Boy is stressing about his math class. He was up later than normal last night with homework and was near tears when he finally finished.

Luckily, he was nearly crying to Genius Golfer (who took care of it fabulously) and The Boy was probably over tired from Bonus Scouts, Piano, and Football practice today. Plus a good night's sleep always makes things look better in the morning.


The Olympics have over for weeks and were my favorite thing to watch (that week swimming was on), and since then I haven't found much in the way of decent stuff on TV to veg-out with in the evenings.

Luckily, last night saw the return of The Girl's and my favorite regular TV show: Dancing with the Stars. And there is going to be a lot of competition and a lot of lousy dancers to see voted off.



If I didn't see the downer points of life, I couldn't appreciate the high points, right?! That's the way I see it.

Another Pet Peeve Vent

I try not to cause a lot of trouble along my way. Generally, there is not a problem, but once in a while I push the limit or cross the line. I also see that as a responsible adult I also can look out for other people's kids.

Today as I walked our carpool kids to school we came upon the kindergarten playground where several kids were already playing, as they waited for the bell to ring. Two children, probably no older than second grade, were playing together and yelling crude names at each other, at the tops of their voices.

I didn't even think about it. I just hollered back at them "Hey, knock it off! I don't want to hear that kind of language on our playground again! Friends do NOT talk to each other like that and those names are not acceptable!"

These two little kids looked at me in total shock. They had completely blank faces on when they turned to look at me. Their gazes followed me up the sidewalk until the playground equipment blocked their eye line.

I know these kids repeat what they have heard. I also know that they are using language in their every day conversations--with other kids and adults as well--that I would have been spanked for saying at their age. (My mom may still try if she heard me say things like they were.)

Discourtesy is everywhere. The words we use don't even seem to sink in anymore. No one recognizes polite speaking as socially necessary. (Someday, I'll add my thoughts about the courtesy that is lacking in our driving habits, but that will have to be another post all together.)

Too bad more sensible adults don't speak up and teach the kids around them how to behave. Sadly, other parents would be up in arms that I "disciplined" their child. That in-your-face parental contention is enough to keep most people's eyes on the ground and find it is easier to ignore other kids than speak up. It is too bad.

I'm so glad that I have friends who interact with my kids regularly as neighbor, or leaders, and do not hesitate to put the kids in their places if they are messing up. My kids have always known that I encourage that in their leaders and teachers. The kids seem to understand that they need to behave correctly, and generally, they do. I am grateful for that everyday. But I also thank my lucky stars for the friends who will back me up as a parent. You can't have enough friends like that.

WORK?!

I had two different lessons today in church on essentially the same subject: WORK. I am glad it is a four letter word they still use in church. It really ought to be used in more places, more often, by more people.



My mom would teasingly say that word with a slight shriek in her voice and with some surprise, as though it was a naughty four letter word. She would say it in reference to an early TV show called "Dobie Gillis"--which my sister and I have never seen, as it was way before our time.


Thanks to our friends at Wikipedia, here is a more common explanation: Maynard G. Krebs (the G. stood for Walter) was the "beatnik" sidekick of the title character in the U.S. television sitcom The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis (1959-1963). The Krebs character, portrayed by actor Bob Denver, began as a stereotypical beatnik, with a goatee "hip" slang usage, and a generally unkempt, bohemian appearance, studiously avoiding anything resembling work, which he seemed to regard as the ultimate four-letter word. Whenever the word was mentioned, even in a line like "That would work," he would jump with fear, yelping, "Work?!" He served as a foil to the well-groomed, well-dressed, straitlaced Dobie, and the contrast between the two friends provided much of the humor of the series.



Sadly, it is a concept that people understand and apply far less often in real life.



Since when is it a bad thing to be responsible and take care of yourself and your family? Why is it society think everyone ought to be entitled to things, a lifestyle, wealth? Have you noticed this lately, as the markets are manifesting the economic troubles we have collectively gotten ourselves into?


I am proud of the work Genius Golfer does to take care of us. He makes it possible for me to do the work I do--at home, and at school, and at church; with my kids and other people's kids. I worked for a paycheck until the kids were born, but then GG really insisted on me being able to stay home and raise our children, our way, with our values. I'm grateful for that.



I am also grateful that I had parents who taught me how to work and showed me how that was done. They still work, albeit in different circumstances than they did when I was growing up, but I never anticipated their "retirement years" would be spent in a rocking chair playing dominoes or checkers.



I hope that someday my kids will understand that I didn't bring them into this world to be my servants--as they sometimes say in protest. I hope that they realize, sometime down the road, that they have skills they can use to work, and that they know how to work and their work will bring them a sense of accomplishment and make them happy.



If I have done that my WORK will have been successful.