8th Day of Christmas...8 Truths

"It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife." Jane Austen completely nailed the premise to her classic, Pride and Prejudice, with that opening line.

Today, I have my own 8 Truths that I feel I should share with you. I'm not sure they are universal, however. They may actually only apply at my house.

1. "Not Me" is always the one to blame for everything.
2. Being thrifty is not always the most popular option, at least for dinner choices.
3. Mom can do something repeatedly and only get noticed when something goes wrong; Dad can do it once and he is a superhero.
4. The more hurried you are, the more idiots will be in in front of you in the checkout line. This also applies to parking lots.
5. Friends can commiserate better with you than family, usually because it is family over which we are commiserating.
6. Just about the time you have given up on your spouse hearing what you are saying, and you go ahead and buy a DVD you had mentioned wanting, he will be angry because he just bought it for you for Christmas.
7. Every family is dysfunctional at some level.
8. Even with all the junk you have in your life, you would still generally choose your own junk, than anyone else's junk.

7th Day of Christmas...7 Are Deadly, Allegedly

Yesterday I tried to process my feelings about going to Sister's court hearing and the direction that was given to her by the commissioner regarding my nephews. As I worked through my feelings with a little more distance and a little less emotion, I somehow found myself trying to remember the names of the "Seven Deadly Sins". These, of course, are the human foibles that at some point society deemed dangerous enough to call them 'deadly'. Funny how our minds work, sometimes, isn't it?

Do these sound familiar? (The explanations, links and notes are from Wikipedia, not my own understanding.)

1) PRIDE--Vanity and narcissism are prime examples of this sin. In Dante's Divine Comedy, the penitent were forced to walk with stone slabs bearing down on their backs in order to induce feelings of humility.

2) GREED--In Dante's Purgatory, the penitents were bound and laid face down on the ground for having concentrated too much on earthly thoughts.

3) ENVY--In Dante's Purgatory, the punishment for the envious is to have their eyes sewn shut with wire, because they have gained sinful pleasure from seeing others brought low.

4) WRATH--Dante described vengeance as "love of justice perverted to revenge and spite". In its original form, the sin of wrath also encompassed anger pointed internally rather than externally. Thus suicide was deemed as the ultimate, albeit tragic, expression of wrath directed inwardly, a final rejection of God's gifts.

5) LUST--Dante's criterion was "excessive love of others," which therefore rendered love and devotion to God as secondary. In "Purgatorio", the penitent walks within flames to purge himself of lustful/sexual thoughts and feelings

6) GLUTTONY--Medieval church leaders (e.g., Thomas Aquinas) took a more expansive view of gluttony, arguing that it could also include an obsessive anticipation of meals, and the constant eating of delicacies and excessively costly foods. Aquinas went so far as to prepare a list of six ways to commit gluttony, including: eating too soon, eating too expensively, eating too much, eating too eagerly, eating too daintily, and eating wildly.

7) SLOTH--In Dante's "Purgatorio", the slothful penitents were made to run continuously at top speed.


Now, I don't share these with you to raise some judgement on anyone else. Almost all of these have raised their ugly head in this custody fight I have been watching from the sidelines. But I realized, as I felt angry and disappointed, and then asked the standard 'Why?' kinds of questions in my head, and followed it all with way too much Diet Coke than I should have, maybe I am the one with these problems.

My issues may not achieve a level worthy of Dante's criticism, or even Aquinas' notice, but I know I have many shortcomings and a few of those are readily available in a moment's thought. I think most of my bad thoughts, at someone else's expense. I indulge in Diet Coke or Burgers at the Barn with friends rather than get up and exercise to feel better. I wish things were better for people around me, but I can't change their situations. I just start to think I have it all together and it comes crashing down around me. I keep thinking just a little more would make "it" all better too. Then I just want to curl up in bed and let life happen around me with no personal participation. Sounds like just about all 7 for me.

Some smarty pants out there has a website that answers the 7 Deadly Sins with 7 Heavenly Virtues. They are listed as: Faith, Hope, Charity, Fortitude, Justice, Temperance, and Prudence. I recognize that these are closer to the lines of what I would like to have in place in my life. But doesn't that go back to envy or greed? Isn't that what got me into trouble in the first place?

Perhaps, if I do make the switch, the things that are going on around me, which I have no control over yet have to endure, will upset me less and keep my own life in perspective better. Well, the 7 Virtues people say I can hope! Right?

6th Day of Christmas...6 of One; Half Dozen of the Other

One week from today is Christmas. How does that happen? Wasn't it just Easter? 4th of July? Halloween? Life just gets crazier all the time. But I digress...

Have you ever heard the colloquialism "Six of one, half dozen of the other"? This isn't something I grew up hearing, but now that I have heard it, and been using it on occasion even, the more I like it. To me, this means, it is the same. Not a big difference.

For example, if I ask, 'Which way is the fastest way to get there?' and you answer 'It's sixes', I will know that both suggested traveling plans are pretty equal and either way is good enough to get there.

Now my thoughts for today's post isn't about travel. But it is about equality, or rather, no difference in outcome.

Yesterday I spent the majority of my day in a courtroom in Ogden for yet another custody hearing for my sister and her kids. This is an on going, just over two year long, terrifically ugly, full blown fight for the custody of her two boys, ages 12 and 9.

In past court hearings I have always thought these boys need to be with their mom, full time. But after yesterday, I don't know that it matters. I think it might be "sixes".

I understand that these are my nephews--my only ones from my side of the family. But I also know that they are two very messed up kids, due to the misery they have lived with for the past few years. I also know that they will need a lot of professional help, of which they haven't even begun yet, to hope to recover someday.

For a while I thought maybe the court would suggest a Solomon like proposal--dad take one boy and mom take the other boy. That didn't happen. Any maybe that would not be fair to the boys themselves. But the constant fighting and bickering, selfishness and nastiness isn't any better for them.

Instead, the two parties agreed to abide by the custody evaluator's suggestions. Shared custody. 50%. Two days with mom and 2 days with dad and weekends alternated. Luckily mom and dad both live in the boundaries of the same schools.

But after two years of court and thousands of dollars of in legal fees and payments, essentially they are back to what they had originally, verbally agreed to when they divorced. And the kids are still the losers.

To me, it is 6 of One; Half Dozen of the Other. And it breaks my heart.

5th Day of Christmas...5 Surprising Tales

Last week I got my last Amazon order in the mail. And it wasn't a Christmas present. I had pre-ordered J.K. Rowling's The Tales of Beedle the Bard months ago and had frankly forgotten I had it ordered.

For you who don't read and then reread and then relive the Harry Potter books, as I do, this little book may have passed under your radar. In the last book in the HP series, character Hermione Granger is bequeathed a book of magic fairy tales, or fables, by former Headmaster Dumbledore. She can't quite understand why until she and Harry head out to once and for all conquer evil Lord Voldemort. This little "Beedle the Bard" book is the collection for five stories Hermione has to figure out to help Harry and save the wizarding world.

Jo Rowling wrote and illustated by hand five of these books and auctioned them off (following the last full Harry Potter installment was published) to raise money for charity. Upon receiving (I would imagine many, many, many) ardent letters from fans, Ms. Rowling reportedly decided to recreate her little handmade book and have it published--also for charity.

I love it when uber-rich people realize they have more than enough and do their work for a better cause then to fill their own pockets.

This little collection of morality tales includes five stories: The Wizard and the Hopping Pot, The Fountain of Fair Fortune, The Warlock's Hairy Heart, Babbity Rabbity and her Cackling Stump, and The Tale of the Three Brothers. To many muggles (that is, non-magical folk) like ourselves, these titles alone may sound too silly to spend your time with, but for those of us who like to imagine these fictional characters with on-going lives, it was like a little Christmas delight.

I haven't yet finished reading this little 100 page hardback booklet. I have been savoring each one, like a morsel of Christmas fudge at a party. To eat it all at once would be indulgent and tasty, but then your piece is gone, never to be tasted again.

So, here is my personal thank you to Jo Rowling. I feel like I know and love these characters she created and to offer one more piece of their world--at Christmas time, for charity--was a treat worth waiting for.

4th Day of Christmas...4 Seasons

I enjoy the four seasons we get to see and feel in Utah. It is beautiful to see the "circle of life" happen in such an organized, unhurried way. How one season helps the next and how the entire year is just segmented into portions that come and then go, leading the way for the next segment.

I love to see the changing foliage in the fall all along the mountains and even down in the valleys:

I love the heat of summer and the cool rush of water you feel as you dive into the swimming pool after having been out in the hot sun all afternoon:

And the promise of spring you can feel in the air as the snow has melted and the flowers begin to pop up and you can wear short sleeves with the car window open again:

We got some more snow last night. I like the snow under only certain and specific conditions. I always like to see it in the mountains. I like to know that the water shed is filling for our use in the coming months--like July and August. I like to see it falling at my house on Christmas eve after we are all home and are just scuttling around inside. This would be when I can read a book and sit in the rocking chair in the front bay window, watching the neighbor boys scrape their driveways and sidewalks. When I do not have to travel in it or venture out farther than my mailbox, that is how I like the snow.

(The photo illustrates it--but this photo is really from January 8th of this year; I'm not warm enough yet to go out and measure in the dark.)

Remind me again. This moisture is setting us all up for the summer months, right? We get it in the valley, again, why!? No one checked with me about today's forecast--I have places to go and people to see!

3rd Day of Christmas...3 Kinds of Treats

Saturday I got left home alone while The Girl was working at the Space Center and The Boy went with GG to go snowboarding. I had the morning to myself! It was trying to snow all day, so I turned on the Christmas music and began to bake.

I made three kinds of baked treats Saturday: banana bread, butterscotch chocolate chip cookies, and Nanaimo (Canadian) Squares. It was a nice day to wear an apron and try not to lick my fingers.

When The Girl got home, she and her friend tried making cinnamon ornaments. I tried doing it from memory rather than checking my sister-in-law's recipe. Oooops. The girls just rolled with it (literally and figuratively) and seemed to have a good time. There are three pans of ornaments drying--and smelling lovely--in the kitchen.

The house smelled so good, it was worth the 5 or 6 sets of dishes I washed by hand since the dishwasher was already full and the child in charge of that didn't empty it yet! But that is another issue, isn't it.

2nd Day of Christmas...2 Cartoon Characters

Feel free to sing along with me now!

He's Mr. Heat Miser. He's Mr. Sun. He's Mr. Green Christmas; he's Mr. 101. Friends call him Heat Miser--whatever he touches, starts to melt in his clutch...He's too much.

He's Mr. White Christmas. He's Mr. Snow. He's Mr. Icicle; he's Mr. 10 below. Friends call him Snow Miser--whatever he touches, turns to snow in his clutch...He's too much.

What is Christmastime, really, without the Miser Brothers? From Rankin Bass's stop motion animation from long long ago, these guys make me laugh. This year, thanks to ABC Family channel's original sequel, there is now a "Miser Brothers' Christmas" show that tells a follow up story of these two constantly fighting brothers. I watched it last night. They still make me laugh.