The Need for Play

This week I listened to a podcast by Stuart Brown about his book called Play. In the book (and podcast) Mr. Brown discussed the need we have as human being to play. He writes that the work ethic is natural in more people, but the play ethic dwindles out of us unless we consciously practice it.

I could relate. I am not a natural player. I like games and having fun, but always feel guilty when I am doing those things. Seems to me that the work ethic overrides the play ethic for me.

I worried a lot about this when the kids were very small. I made efforts to go out of my way to do things with them that were not my normal comfort zone. Still, if you were looking at those things you'd probably wonder where the play was. There was a lot of ambush learning in those occasions that I created for them--the zoo, the aquarium, parks, museums.

Genius Golfer was much better in just playing with the kids. He'd wrestle with The Boy and tickle The Girl. He was always the one to encourage the dirt bike purchase, or the ski trips. I was the humbug to his excitement.

How do you curb your natural instinct to be cheap and educational? Even at family trips to Disneyland, I was always worrying about the money, the cost, the food we should have packed in to the park. I am the classic wet blanket in the family of fun.

When I mentioned this book to The Girl and told her that I really don't play well, she said, "Well, you like photography." The last time I picked up my camera for anything remotely resembling creative play was two months ago at the Festival of the Trees. That is pretty sad.

Even my scrapbook habit/hobby has become a "need to do" rather than a "want to do" activity.

When I have a good book to read, I feel like I can only sit and do that when EVERYTHING else is done and I have no other obligations. Some days I wish I could shut off the hyper-responsibility drive that I seem to have and just truly veg-out. I can do that guilt-free when I am ill, but luckily that doesn't happen very often.

Maybe I need some kind of play therapy. I was hoping for some play therapy with my family over Spring Break. But it might not happen. It is hard to plan too far in advance with Genius Golfer's schedule.

I'll keep trying. Recognizing I have a problem is the first step to recovery. At least that is what the experts say, right?

The Big Picture

This morning I spent the day with 5 department teams at the junior high school. The school district offered the teams (AKA Professional Learning Communities, or PLCs)at the schools who wished to participate small monetary bonuses if they did a presentation for their administration and panel of parents on how they are using their Monday afternoons (on early out days for the kids) to collaborate and set department wide goals based on the district's pre-arranged objectives for their group.

It was a great way to see the bigger picture of what is happening at our school. We have some fantastic teachers, but I only have interactions with a fraction of those educators. I got to see them as team members working toward a common goal, regardless of which academic level students they have in their own classes.

The teams were answering the following questions:
1--What are our mission, vision, values, and goals?
2--What do we what our students to be learning?
3--How will be know if they are learning that?
4--What do we do for the ones that aren't learning that?
5--What do we do for the students that already have learned that?

We heard from the Music, English, Art, Health, Career Technology and Counseling, and Science departments. It was fascinating how they all had the same questions but depending on the discipline the answered would vary dramatically.

Seeing how these departments were coordinating their efforts to teach the kids not only the state core curriculum, but beyond the prescribed topics, was gratifying. I was impressed with each team that spelled out to us how they were assessing the student's progress and how that data would help identify kids that needed more help, and what they had to offer the kids that were already excelling.

It made me all the more grateful for the quality teachers my children have had over the course of their academic careers thus far. For the most part, they have been cream of the crop teachers with creative and innovative ways of teaching my kids.

Girl Talk at the Stove Top

Yesterday I had a dear friend, Micheale, essentially tell me I was deluding myself into thinking The Girl's occasional seemingly-vague, pointedly-yearning Facebook comments were nothing to worry about. My good friend was concerned there was canoodling going on that I was not aware of...involving my daughter.

Now, I do know these alleged comments...I read her stuff every day on Facebook...I am the FB police in this house. I know sometimes they are not comments so much as teen-angst ridden song lyrics. Other times I leave a comment under The Girl's posting telling her to watch out. No names are ever used in these postings. My suspicions have been there was a crush of some kind, however unrequited or impossible. I remember those days. The difference is The Girl posts her ramblings on Facebook, I wrote notes in class to my friend.

Last night while I was making diner and needed another pair of hands to whisk something on the stove top so I asked The Girl to help me. While we were standing there, side by side, she asked me, "When do you think I will see Micheale again?" I told her I didn't know, but asked her why. She told me "I wanted to thank her for watching out for me. I know that what I write on Facebook gets read by other people, but sometimes I forget that some of those people are other grown ups who are looking out for me."

I didn't have that kind of maturity when my in-class-written notes were apprehended by other adults, usually teachers. Instead, I'd just feel mortified and want to crawl into a hole somewhere.

Then she proceeded to tell me about her one-sided crush, (as I had suspected), and frankly, he is a very nice boy. He is a little older than The Girl but she knows him from the swim team. And she had pretty good taste, if I may say. At this point, he might consider them friends, though mostly when they are at the pool. Otherwise they don't see each other that much. I'm OK with that situation.

She then told me that she'd censor her comments better so Micheale, or any other friends she has online, won't have to worry about her. She remembered that the interenet is not a readily safe place to put your personal feelings and emotions out for all to see. And if something were to be going on, I'd know about it at a dinner time conversation first and not just learn about it on Facebook.

Sounds like a good deal to me.

Tiny Addiction

It is February, and that means it is the time of year when these silly conversation hearts are available in my friendly, local grocery store. By the pound. How appropriate.

I love these dumb candies. Especially the orange colored ones. I don't usually bother reading them. I just eat them. I have a jar sitting next to the computer, as I speak, and I am imagining the sugary goodness that each bite hold for me.

Too bad I can't just buy the orange ones. Sadly I have to eat all the other colors first and then save the orange treasure for the last. Weird? Probably. But it fits the craving I have once a year for this heart-shaped, sugar-pad candy confection.

The only plus is the positive affirmation I do get if I stop to read the face of the hearts: "Cool Dude", "Fax Me", "Oh, You!", "Take Five", "Star Eyes". I'm hooked.

How Did THIS Happen?!

This afternoon I get a chance to head over to the junior high to met with The Boy and the guidance counselor to choose The Boy's 8th grade classes.

Just how did this happen?

Weren't we just getting used to the full day 1st grade? He was starting to like staying at the school for lunch time. He was learning to pace himself as we walked to the school each morning so he wouldn't be too tired to play with friends once he got there.

Now we are planning for 8th grade?

Wow. That came up quickly.

Monday, Again

As I flip the calendar today and remember it is Monday and that I have more laundry to do, I am grateful for the blessings in my life.

I received word this past week that a dear friend I grew up with is at the end of her 7 year long battle with GIST Cancer--a rare and untreatable stomach cancer. She has a lovely husband and two delightful little boys. I know she will be missed by anyone who knows her. Her immediate family is all there with her today and for the week as she lets go of this sick body and passes on.

Tomorrow I have a chance to help Dear Friend Tammy a couple extra hours this week so Mr. Rick can get a few out of the house work related things done. We are closing in to three years since her diagnosis and about two years since I began going over each week to help her. It has been heartbreaking watching her deteriorate.

With this very dear friends dealing with painful situations physically, I can also say they both have shown such grace and patience with an otherwise terrible situation.

It makes me feel like a big heel for being a whiner when I don't feel good.

I heard a quote this weekend that struck me. I can't remember who was accredited to but it went something this: Since we are human, we will all have pain, but suffering is a choice.

How we choose to handle the situation we are dealt is what really shows our character. I hope when I am put to the test I can behave with dignity and grace. I have watch two good friends handle the card they were dealt just that way. They have been good examples.

Video Sunday

I believe this is what they mean when people say "Go big or Go Home!"