Being a full time mom is a thankless job for the most part. Of course on Mother's Day you get some recognition, and that is usually followed by some element of guilt. But this weekend I realized that there is more "on-duty" time that I had failed to recognize previously.
Yesterday all that unconscious on-duty time boiled over and I (surprisingly) calmly told Genius Golfer that I was tired of it. Not that changed me reality this weekend.
For months, I have continued to stay home with The Boy, or drag him against his will with me wherever I go because GG believes--based on previous behavior by The Boy--that he isn't ready to be trusted at home alone. There was an element of poor choices in TV selection, and that one very unfortunate Internet surfing episode, so that is a valid concern as his parents--but I am the one who is consistently enforcing the edict that GG handed down.
Then this past week, The Girl has been grounded due to her mouthy attitude and blatant disobedience and I have acted in the role of enforcer (again) as well as parole officer. I have monitored that her computer time is only for homework, and her social outings are curtailed, yet I still have to drive her to appointments, commitments and class assignments. All of these places she is still more than likely to see her friends. So is her grounding really a consequence for her behavior, or just a deterrent for me to never ground her again?
Last night I was faced with having The Boy prepared with a homework portion of a Merit Badge assignment that he wasn't at all excited to do, yet GG ruled that he must attend the Merit Badge classes until he earns his Eagle and the class was this morning...therefore I was the enforcer and had to follow up with checking that he was doing the assignment.
Last night when GG got home I asked him what his plan for the weekend was and he kind of rolled his eyes at me (this, he would remind the reader, is my perception of his reaction) and answered "Golf, of course." There was not a response question as to my plans or requirements today.
Three weeks ago when I had the chance to crash the Prom with Dear Friend Teacher Amy, I courteously asked if my going would disrupt his plans. When he said no, I asked him if he minded that I go with her to the movies and the Prom to see my (trek and otherwise adopted) kids. When he indicated that it wouldn't bug him I was delighted to go. And had no guilt about it. But if it had been a problem, I would have just not gone.
Other times I have also asked and he was more reluctant to say he was fine with everything and I spitefully went anyway, but couldn't enjoy myself for the guilt that I carried on the outing with me. SO I can't seem to win the "I'm going, no matter what you say" battle.
Why do I seem to assume the role of enforcer, warden, parole-officer? He doesn't see the need to have those roles. Why do I see the compulsion to takes these things on? Because I am the one who is home with the kids after school--and usually at school as needed with them as well, is that the reason I take these roles on?
These questions I pose are of a rhetorical nature--more of a venting for my personal frustration today. This should not be meant to indicate a lack of affection for or from my spouse or children...but sometimes you gotta just purge these kinds of feelings. Am I right? And you, dear readers, are just in the immediate line of fire for such spewings.
I hear The Boy starting up the mower. I'd better monitor his progress and supervise the work. Like always.
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Friday, May 21, 2010
Surprises
Well, after my rant about the neighbor kid who picked my tulips, I got a surprise pair. These two showed their tiny, shorter heads this week--after I thought all hope was gone for my flowerbed.
Don't you just love a happy ending?
Thursday, May 20, 2010
20 Questions
About a week ago the newspaper ran an article on Pulitzer -Prize winning Dave Barry, humor columnist extraordinaire. They just interviewed him and asked him 20 Questions. He is doing publicity for his new book "I'll Mature When I'm Dead". This was originally found at:
http://www.popmatters.com/pm/feature/124724-dave-barry/
Not that I'll ever be a columnist of his caliber, but I enjoyed the article and was inspired to interview myself with the same 20 questions. So that is my posting today.
1. The latest book or movie that made you cry?
Reading Remembering Anne Frank has made me tear up. It is just astounding that evil and wickedness at that level was allowed to occur.
2. The fictional character most like you?
I'd love to say Elizabeth Bennett from Jane Austen's masterpiece Pride and Prejudice but I am more like The Poky Little Puppy.
3. The greatest album, ever?
Journey's Greatest Hits. Easily.
4. "Star Trek" or "Star Wars"?
Star Wars, forever!
5. Your ideal brain food?
I like steamed broccoli. I think that helps your brain.
6. You're proud of this accomplishment, but why?
My kids...but they came pre-wired to me as they are and I just like to take credit for them. I know in my heart that they are as good as they are despite my efforts.
7. You want to be remembered for...?
That I did the best I could at every point of influence of my life. I wasn't perfect, obviously, but I sure tried to do my best.
8. Of those who've come before, the most inspirational are?
Well, my mom, of course for inspiration generally. But I get pretty excited about Abigail Adams for her progressivism and Abraham Lincoln for his integrity. There are more, but I'll have to think more about that.
9. The creative masterpiece you wish bore your signature?
Ansel Adams' shot of Half-Dome at Yosemite, maybe in particular.
10. Your hidden talents...?
I can tap dance for about a minute and a half. And I can sing almost any song Opera Style--which I do regularly in Family Home Evening.
11. The best piece of advice you actually followed?
"Move far, far away." Advice from my mom at my graduation and marriage.
12. The best thing you ever bought, stole or borrowed?
I borrowed a pair of great already-broken-in-perfectly shoes once. They were great!
13. You feel best in Armani or Levis or...?
Levis. Remind me who Armani is again.
14. Your dinner guest at the Ritz would be?
I'd love to have dinner with President and Sister Hinckley. Or John and Abigail Adams. They'd be great too.
15. Time travel: where, when and why?
Yes, revolutionary and civil war eras would be cool. What we read in the history books is not necessarily the way it really was.
16. Stress management: hit man spa vacation or Prozac?
Usually a box of Girl Scout cookies and a DVD marathon works for me.
17. Essential to life: coffee, vodka, cigarette, chocolate or...?
Of those? Chocolate I guess is the only option.
18. Environ of choice: city or country, and where on the map?
Country, is it means at home where I grew up. City, if it means a place I haven't ever been.
19. What do you want to say to the leader of your country?
"Hello?! Is anyone listening in there?!?"
20. Last but certainly not least, what are you working on now?
PTA, Young Women, Family, keeping it together, scrap booking catch-up-mode.
http://www.popmatters.com/pm/feature/124724-dave-barry/
Not that I'll ever be a columnist of his caliber, but I enjoyed the article and was inspired to interview myself with the same 20 questions. So that is my posting today.
1. The latest book or movie that made you cry?
Reading Remembering Anne Frank has made me tear up. It is just astounding that evil and wickedness at that level was allowed to occur.
2. The fictional character most like you?
I'd love to say Elizabeth Bennett from Jane Austen's masterpiece Pride and Prejudice but I am more like The Poky Little Puppy.
3. The greatest album, ever?
Journey's Greatest Hits. Easily.
4. "Star Trek" or "Star Wars"?
Star Wars, forever!
5. Your ideal brain food?
I like steamed broccoli. I think that helps your brain.
6. You're proud of this accomplishment, but why?
My kids...but they came pre-wired to me as they are and I just like to take credit for them. I know in my heart that they are as good as they are despite my efforts.
7. You want to be remembered for...?
That I did the best I could at every point of influence of my life. I wasn't perfect, obviously, but I sure tried to do my best.
8. Of those who've come before, the most inspirational are?
Well, my mom, of course for inspiration generally. But I get pretty excited about Abigail Adams for her progressivism and Abraham Lincoln for his integrity. There are more, but I'll have to think more about that.
9. The creative masterpiece you wish bore your signature?
Ansel Adams' shot of Half-Dome at Yosemite, maybe in particular.
10. Your hidden talents...?
I can tap dance for about a minute and a half. And I can sing almost any song Opera Style--which I do regularly in Family Home Evening.
11. The best piece of advice you actually followed?
"Move far, far away." Advice from my mom at my graduation and marriage.
12. The best thing you ever bought, stole or borrowed?
I borrowed a pair of great already-broken-in-perfectly shoes once. They were great!
13. You feel best in Armani or Levis or...?
Levis. Remind me who Armani is again.
14. Your dinner guest at the Ritz would be?
I'd love to have dinner with President and Sister Hinckley. Or John and Abigail Adams. They'd be great too.
15. Time travel: where, when and why?
Yes, revolutionary and civil war eras would be cool. What we read in the history books is not necessarily the way it really was.
16. Stress management: hit man spa vacation or Prozac?
Usually a box of Girl Scout cookies and a DVD marathon works for me.
17. Essential to life: coffee, vodka, cigarette, chocolate or...?
Of those? Chocolate I guess is the only option.
18. Environ of choice: city or country, and where on the map?
Country, is it means at home where I grew up. City, if it means a place I haven't ever been.
19. What do you want to say to the leader of your country?
"Hello?! Is anyone listening in there?!?"
20. Last but certainly not least, what are you working on now?
PTA, Young Women, Family, keeping it together, scrap booking catch-up-mode.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Optimism Must Prevail
A good friend forwarded this to me, along with several other comments on this country given by prominent LDS leaders. But this one caught my attention in particular. It is so easy to identify and blame the leaders of this country--and some more rightly so than others--but we still have the responsibility to participate to make the positive changes we want to see.
Recently, at the Republican state convention here in Utah, a group of uber-conservatives got themselves selected as delegates with the idea that they would unseat Senator Bob Bennett. Bennett is a three term senator with a bit of power and quite some respect, as I understand it, among his colleagues. These state delegates didn't seem to have a plan beyond ousting Bennett.
As a result two newbies are running in the Republican primary for the senate seat. Neither will come in with the understanding Bennett had. Neither one seems interested in cooperating with the other party. Did no one listen in their civics classes about compromise and moderation?
This is what makes me crazy about our country. Reactionary measures taken that essentially cut off your nose in spite of your face.
It is also what makes me so incredibly weary of politics in general. President Lee's comments here remind me that I need to put the pessimism away and remember that this is the Promised Land! The Lord saved it and prepared it for a nation He had a hand in raising up. In the end, everything WILL be OK. We must work to retain the righteousness the Lord demand of His children who live in this blessed land. Everything else will work out for our good.
President Lee:
Men may fail in this country, earthquakes may come, seas may heave beyond their bounds, there may be great drought, disaster, and hardship, but this nation, founded on principles laid down by men whom God raised up, will never fail.
This is the cradle of humanity, where life on this earth began in the Garden of Eden. This is the place of the New Jerusalem. . . . This is the place where the Savior will come to His temple.
We are living in a time of great crisis. The Country is torn with scandal and with criticism, with faultfinding and condemnation. There are those who have downgraded the image of this nation as probably never before in the history of the country.
I plead with you not to preach pessimism. Preach that this is the greatest country in all the world. . . . It is the nation that will stand despite whatever trials or crises it may yet have to pass through.
We must be on the optimistic side. This is a great nation; this is a great country; this is the most favored of all lands. While it is true that there are dangers and difficulties that lie ahead of us, we must not assume that we are going to stand by and watch the country go to ruin. We should not be heard to predict ills and calamities for the nation. On the contrary, we should be providing optimistic support for the nation.
You must remember . . . that this church is one of the most powerful agencies for the progress of the world, and we should . . . all sound with one voice. We must tell the world how we feel about this land and this nation and should bear our testimonies about the great mission and destiny that it has.
If we do this, we will help turn the tide of this great country and lessen the influence of the pessimists. We must be careful that we do not say or do anything that will further weaken the country. It is the negative, pessimistic comments about the nation that do as much harm as anything to the country today. We who carry these sacred responsibilities must preach the gospel of peace, and peace can only come by overcoming the things of the world. Now, we must be the dynamic force that will help turn the tide of fear and pessimism.
(Excerpts from a talk given at Ricks College Devotional Assembly, “Have Faith in America,” October 26, 1973, and printed in two sources: Ye Are the Light of the World: Selected Sermons and Writings of Harold B. Lee, 340, 350-351, and The Teachings of Harold B. Lee, edited by Clyde J. Williams, 365-366.
Recently, at the Republican state convention here in Utah, a group of uber-conservatives got themselves selected as delegates with the idea that they would unseat Senator Bob Bennett. Bennett is a three term senator with a bit of power and quite some respect, as I understand it, among his colleagues. These state delegates didn't seem to have a plan beyond ousting Bennett.
As a result two newbies are running in the Republican primary for the senate seat. Neither will come in with the understanding Bennett had. Neither one seems interested in cooperating with the other party. Did no one listen in their civics classes about compromise and moderation?
This is what makes me crazy about our country. Reactionary measures taken that essentially cut off your nose in spite of your face.
It is also what makes me so incredibly weary of politics in general. President Lee's comments here remind me that I need to put the pessimism away and remember that this is the Promised Land! The Lord saved it and prepared it for a nation He had a hand in raising up. In the end, everything WILL be OK. We must work to retain the righteousness the Lord demand of His children who live in this blessed land. Everything else will work out for our good.
President Lee:
Men may fail in this country, earthquakes may come, seas may heave beyond their bounds, there may be great drought, disaster, and hardship, but this nation, founded on principles laid down by men whom God raised up, will never fail.
This is the cradle of humanity, where life on this earth began in the Garden of Eden. This is the place of the New Jerusalem. . . . This is the place where the Savior will come to His temple.
We are living in a time of great crisis. The Country is torn with scandal and with criticism, with faultfinding and condemnation. There are those who have downgraded the image of this nation as probably never before in the history of the country.
I plead with you not to preach pessimism. Preach that this is the greatest country in all the world. . . . It is the nation that will stand despite whatever trials or crises it may yet have to pass through.
We must be on the optimistic side. This is a great nation; this is a great country; this is the most favored of all lands. While it is true that there are dangers and difficulties that lie ahead of us, we must not assume that we are going to stand by and watch the country go to ruin. We should not be heard to predict ills and calamities for the nation. On the contrary, we should be providing optimistic support for the nation.
You must remember . . . that this church is one of the most powerful agencies for the progress of the world, and we should . . . all sound with one voice. We must tell the world how we feel about this land and this nation and should bear our testimonies about the great mission and destiny that it has.
If we do this, we will help turn the tide of this great country and lessen the influence of the pessimists. We must be careful that we do not say or do anything that will further weaken the country. It is the negative, pessimistic comments about the nation that do as much harm as anything to the country today. We who carry these sacred responsibilities must preach the gospel of peace, and peace can only come by overcoming the things of the world. Now, we must be the dynamic force that will help turn the tide of fear and pessimism.
(Excerpts from a talk given at Ricks College Devotional Assembly, “Have Faith in America,” October 26, 1973, and printed in two sources: Ye Are the Light of the World: Selected Sermons and Writings of Harold B. Lee, 340, 350-351, and The Teachings of Harold B. Lee, edited by Clyde J. Williams, 365-366.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Cantcha Feel It?
First an apology for the lack of linkage in my last post. I thought I did it right, but I guess not. I'm too lazy this afternoon to do it again. So copy and paste that web address for a good story. Anyway...
Today I helped out the Junior High on my not-so-regular day. Usually I am there on Fridays. Tuesday just felt like when you wear an old pair of shoes that are just a little too tight. They used to be really comfortable but now you never feel at home int hem.
I can feel the end of the school year coming like the incoming tide rising from my feet to my ankles and still higher. You think the tide comes in gently, slowly. But it rushes in when you are least expecting it, though you know logically is comes in and out twice a day.
The end of the school year is rushing to me and while I am happy to see it this year, I am still a little surprised that it is here already. The kids have been counting down the days, but I have been busy enough to avoid the number of the day. Now I am realizing how close it is as there are so many end of the year things that have to happen in the last week or two.
It will be nice for a new routine for the summer. But it certainly isn't going to be the lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer. At least around here.
Today I helped out the Junior High on my not-so-regular day. Usually I am there on Fridays. Tuesday just felt like when you wear an old pair of shoes that are just a little too tight. They used to be really comfortable but now you never feel at home int hem.
I can feel the end of the school year coming like the incoming tide rising from my feet to my ankles and still higher. You think the tide comes in gently, slowly. But it rushes in when you are least expecting it, though you know logically is comes in and out twice a day.
The end of the school year is rushing to me and while I am happy to see it this year, I am still a little surprised that it is here already. The kids have been counting down the days, but I have been busy enough to avoid the number of the day. Now I am realizing how close it is as there are so many end of the year things that have to happen in the last week or two.
It will be nice for a new routine for the summer. But it certainly isn't going to be the lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer. At least around here.
Monday, May 17, 2010
4H and a Hog-Raising Girl
http://static.dispatch.com/www.dispatch.com/live/content/local_news/stories/2010/05/17/hog-wildnot-this-girl.html
Holy Cow, or should I say, HOG! Here is a girl I can relate to. Well, almost.
I sure loved hearing about this girl as opposed to the thousands of other inflated ego toting, entitlement attitude teens in the world today. Sure wish there were more like this one.
More importantly, I hope I am raising two to be more like this girl.
Holy Cow, or should I say, HOG! Here is a girl I can relate to. Well, almost.
I sure loved hearing about this girl as opposed to the thousands of other inflated ego toting, entitlement attitude teens in the world today. Sure wish there were more like this one.
More importantly, I hope I am raising two to be more like this girl.
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Video Sunday
Irreverant? Yes.
Funny? Yes.
Wish it were real? Around here, yes! Of course. Genius Golfer and The Boy could each use one.
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