Last week was one of the most scheduled busy weeks I've had in quite a while. While most had to do with some new assignments at work, and the consequential "making up " regular work I missed while off on new assignments, the task I' want to share here was a volunteer gig.
Genius Golfer and I were asked to "chaperone" a dance on Friday night. Now, with 15+ years of PTA work under my belt, I have chaperoned plenty of things--including dances at the high school. But this one was different. It was a singles dance for church. It was for church members in the regional area aged 31 and above.
My first thought was, "Why do adults need a chaperone at their dance?" Then I remembered, this will likely be less a "chaperone" assignment as a set-out-food-and-guard-it. Like all church activities, there is food available, and there is always someone who scarfs down the food way beyond his portion allowed.
Our friends, Trevor and Janelle--another married couple from our ward, were also there, but Trevor was ultimately in charge of the whole things as his assignment on the high council includes the single adults. At least I could visit with Janelle and catch up with a grown up outside of the Primary circle. Plus volunteering is a good thing, in my opinion.
When we got there, GG and I got busy arranging food: fruit, chips, cookies. Trevor was working on a chocolate fountain. Then things started going wrong. No DJ showed up.
Trevor, being in charge of this event, called another neighbor who has DJ'd in the past as has the equipment. Dave was in Provo on a date with his wife Amy. They rearranged their schedule to come back to PG and get a dance going.
While that was happening, the chocolate fountain quit working, while full of mostly melted chocolate. GG and I ran home to unearth our fountain and bring it down to substitute. Brush off the dust, we'll be fine.
As we sat that up and transferred the melty chocolate into the new fountain, the original DJ rolled in. Uh oh. Now we have potentially 2 DJs. Trevor put out that fire by calling Dave back and apologizing and explaining the situation. The original guy set up and never was the wiser. Dave and Amy popped over to see the fallout and to talk to Trevor. Sorry they had to cut their date night short, but at least they were willing to help. Things happen, I figure.
People were beginning to arrive now. Trevor handed me a metal badge with "USHER" boldly printed on it. I laughed and said that was funny. He told me "Nope, you'd better wear it or you'll get hit on."
I laughed out loud that time and told him I thought he was pulling my leg. He just insisted I wear it. GG had one too as did Janelle. We looked like we were part of a club. But I put it on to be obedient.
Here is where the evening began to get crazy.
Before I knew it men were coming in asking where the rest of the food was. we had directions to put the food out in one area and shut the door until 9:30. There was an hour of dance instruction--like a dance class: foxtrot, waltz, line dances--while people were showing up. The actual dance began about 9:30 or 10PM.
These guys were pressing harder for food. Each time we politely told them not until 9:30, they had rude things to say. This dance cost them $5 to get in, and as far as I could see, none of these vacuuming food dudes had even danced. Cheap dinner, I guess. But rude!
Finally, things got sorted out with the dancing, the food, and the DJ and all was beginning to run smoothly. Trevor gave us instructions to walk the halls of the building occasionally to see that no one was heading into the darker corners. Also, we have instruction to take a lap now and then to patrol the parking lot and exterior of the building for the same reasons. Apparently, some men never learn that "No" means no and have tried to push their (percieved) advantage, so some of this was for safety but there was also the "church dance standards" to uphold here too.
When I've done this job with the Youth (ages 12-18) we just didn't want them sneaking off to make out or something, but here we are talking about adults. They should be mature enough not to do that in a church building, but I assume much with that thought. With the Youth, there was never a white board a tthe entrance that had to read: Divorces MUST be Final.
People ARE crazy, you know.
Anyway, the dance progressed. Janelle and I took a loop in the gym where the dancing was happening. After a quick lap, we sat together in a corner to watch and chat. Almost immediately after we started talking, a lovely gentleman of about 70 came up to ask us to dance. (In his defense, I think he was making a lap himself, to be sure every lady had a chance to dance that wanted to. Bless him.) But being the married folks at this shin-dig, Janelle kindly pointed to her badge and said that we were there are ushers and, thank you but no. He looked a little sheepish, but moved on to another lady sitting down on the outside of the dancing.
That wasn't the last of my attempted pick ups. But it was the nicest.
At another point, I was bringing in a replacement fruit tray for the chocolate fountain and halfway into the door of the "food room" I had a gentleman (a term I use loosely here) of about 80+, standing with a single crutch, wearing grey sweat pants and a partially zipped hooded sweatshirt, with only some of his teeth, look as my chest (!!!!)--but not see my USHER badge--and ask me "How you doin?" Ewww. It was creepy.
The evening seemed to move at a glacier pace until finally it was the last song of the night. We had the last of the opened food out and I was past ready to clean up and go home. Suddenly these people were grabbing two and three plates and loading them with all the food they could carry away with them. I had others--women too this time--come into the kitchen and ask where the ziploc bags were as they wanted to take the veggies and fruit home with them. Cookies were grabbed by the handful. Cups were filled with grapes and pineapple and chips and cheese dip. It was embarrassing, really.
These are gown, mature--in some cases VERY mature--adults. But I have seen better behavior at junior high dances. Only one lady asked where the vacuum was hidden and she began to help clean up. The rest fled with food in hand as fast as they could go. I was shocked and quite surprised that this sort of thing went on with grown ups.
We did finally get everything cleaned up and came home, but I learned something. At some point during the night, I asked Trevor how he came to asking GG and I to help wit this. Teasingly, he told me that he asked the bishop which couple was hitting s rough patch in their marriage and that was the couple they'd invite to help here. Of course, he was kidding, but on the way home I thought about that.
I have never been more happy to be married to GG than I was that night. I felt real sadness for my dear, darling, single girlfriends who are stuck with this kind of junior-high behavior peer group to try to look for a husband. No wonder they were so discouraged. And now, I knew that I couldn't just tell them to "hang in there" or "something will work out". If this was the selection, they had no chance for someone normal, nice and well-mannered.
My only hope for them, and the men in their demographic is that the normal ones stayed home. And that made me happier yet that I was home with GG and The Boy and never had to be in that group. YOUNG single adults--the 18-30 group--was bad enough, once upon a time.
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