Last night I went to a special Relief Society meeting, a fireside of sorts, where the speaker was Sister Julie B. Beck. She is currently serving as the General Relief Society President for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. She is a marvel. She spoke for over an hour with no notes, outside of the scriptures. She answered questions from the audience. And I took copious notes. For my post today, I thought I'd share what I gleaned from listening to her last night.
Sister Julie B. Beck
Speaking of her dear friend, Sister Olsen, in the audience--"you think about what you dreamed of as little girls. Then you see what you end up with as grown-ups."
She asked questions to get to know us better: How many are single? How many are temple workers? How many have children? How many are widows? How many are single parents?
We have a lot in common, but each sister is unique and having a personally, unique mortal experience. Heavenly Father knows we're having our own experience here on earth and He does this for a reason--to help us learn to come unto Him. We can help each other, bear each other's burdens, but only He knows how to deal with each of our sorrows, heartaches, joys, excitements that we are specifically having.
A comprehensive RS history is being written. We saw the beginning snippet in this month's VT message. Eventually a volume of RS History will be available for each of us to have in our homes, to read and learn from the women who came before.
RS is not just a Sunday class. We do meet together to learn and share on Sundays each week, but RS work goes on every day. That work is to strengthen homes, and families, increase faith, seek out others in need and help them.
Throughout the history of RS, sisters have been doing just that:
Increase faith (D & C 1:21) share testimony, testify of Jesus Christ, teach one another
Strengthen families and homes
Seeking out those in need.
She and her presidency were challenged to review the three linear feet of shelf space that the historical binders of RS took up in her office. They used that review in the revision of the new Handbook of Instructions. We have an organization of 5 million members/sisters, in 170 countries and we only need 12 pages of handbook instructions to run smoothly in each local ward or branch, stake or district. That simple foundation, plus revelation needs for the individual situation is all we need.
Then Sister Beck opened the floor for questions--her only requests were that the questions be useful for more people than just yourself, and that the deep doctrinal questions be answered in Sunday school.
Question 1) What do you like to read recreationally, when you have time?
Not much time, but currently reading an anthology of humorous British stories. Sis Beck likes to read the classics--Jane Austen, The Virginian, biographies--because she feels they are safe and she knows what to expect from them. We must be careful what we read (see/view/listen to) because we will remember those things. Protecting the Spirit is not as easy as it sounds.
Question 2) How can I align my will with God's will? How can I be a better servant?
Do the little things--scripture study, prayers, fasting, temple attendance. All these are the training we go through to prepare ourselves for the big race/test/challenge coming up in our lives. With the scriptures, don't worry about the "rules" (5 minutes, one chapter, half an hour). Just spend some time in the scriptures every day. The training prepares you for the difficult times of life. Just like athletic training, if you are in good condition, you will fare far better. Be consistent. If you don't do the little things you'll be feeling frustrated. Prayer is a little things, that is really a big thing.
Question 3) How do you find balance (i.e., exercise) when there is so much to do?
Just keep working at it. We know the connection between our body and our Spirit. We know we need both sides to be healthy. We all have to make priorities in our days:
*We have essential things--things that must be done for our eternal welfare: scriptures, prayer
*We have necessary things--things needed for our mortal world: groceries, laundry, eating, work, service
*We have nice to do things--things that encourage our creativity, give variety: hobbies, interests, talents
The problems come when our priorities are out of alignment. If we think our Must do, or Necessary to do lists are too hard, and we run away or try to escape into our hobbies, interests, crafts, blogging, computer sites, reading, etc. By themselves, in the proper order they are just fine, but when we give in to them as our escape from the reality we are here to experience, we make them dangerous...and part of Satan's tactics.
See 2 Nephi 28:20-22:
20For behold, at that day shall he rage in the hearts of the children of men, and stir them up to anger against that which is good.
21And others will he pacify, and lull them away into carnal security, that they will say: All is well in Zion; yea, Zion prospereth, all is well—and thus the devil cheateth their souls, and leadeth them away carefully down to hell.
22And behold, others he flattereth away, and telleth them there is no hell; and he saith unto them: I am no devil, for there is none—and thus he whispereth in their ears, until he grasps them with his awful chains, from whence there is no deliverance.
Here is a list of tactics the adversary uses against us, and unless we are aligned with God we will fall to these tactics. In verse 21, he uses anger. Anger at those things we have once known were good. Attacks on the family, for example. Someday LDS women will be the only ones standing for the preservation of families. In verse 22, he uses apathy. Once we think it doesn't matter, is won't. And in verse 22, he uses entitlement. Once we think we deserve to have things, power, recognition for what we should be doing anyways, he has won.
How do we combat these tactics effectively? See Alma 48:7-9:
7Now it came to pass that while Amalickiah had thus been obtaining power by fraud and deceit, Moroni, on the other hand, had been preparing the minds of the people to be faithful unto the Lord their God.
8Yea, he had been strengthening the armies of the Nephites, and erecting small forts, or places of resort; throwing up banks of earth round about to enclose his armies, and also building walls of stone to encircle them about, round about their cities and the borders of their lands; yea, all round about the land.
9And in their weakest fortifications he did place the greater number of men; and thus he did fortify and strengthen the land which was possessed by the Nephites.
Moroni fought against an evil, determined enemy. So do we. WE can find the battle plan in the scriptures. In verse 7, like Moroni, we must be prepared, trained, to be faithful. Doing the little things consistently. In verse 8, Moroni built fortifications. our fortifications are our homes, wards, stakes. We must do everything we can do to call on the Lord and earn His protection every day, then we need to utilize the resources we have in our wards, stakes. In verse 9, Moroni strengthened the weakest parts the most. Where we are weak, we need to put our best effort. We can't do everything at once but when we are busily fighting Satan off the outcome will be our happiness (See Alma 50: 23)
Question # 4) What can we say to comfort a mother who has lost her son?
Sister Beck's father shared his favorite General Conference address in April of 2010. It was President Monson's address,
He is Risen!. Just a few months later, her father passed away, rather unexpectedly. In 3 Nephi 17:6-9, the Savior feels the wish of the Nephite people to have their sick healed and blessed. The Savior knows their every feeling about those they love and want to have healed. We likewise, must turn to the Savior who is the master healer. Also, in D & C 84:20, it says, "In the ordinances thereof, the power of godliness is manifest." So we have the power of godliness given to us in the ordinances of the Gospel, of the temple, of the sacrament, of the priesthood. We need to turn that that power to feel His healing power.
Question 5) What is your 30 second VT commercial?
Doing Visiting Teaching is our opportunity to really know how much our Heavenly Father loves us. He will make us agents for the Bishop to do His work. WE know it is important because it is hard to do. If it were easy, it wouldn't matter so much. We will always have an issue with VT--schedules are difficult, partner is a pill, etc.--but we have to get over it. What are you supposed to report? Everything--that has to do with that sister's temporal and spiritual well being.
Question 6) What is the greatest danger facing young mothers?
The temptation to escape. It is hard and you want to run away. There are lots of ways to run away. And this generation of young mothers is the product of many others' hard work. We have all the privileges before us laid out by our mothers, grandmothers, great grandmothers. Consequently, we will be receiving some pretty "tough spirits" to raise. We must be on target with the correct goals. See Genesis 24: The story of Rebekah: she was fair, generous, physically fit, bright, rich but also had a testimony of eternal families, of the Father's plan. Abraham was promised an eternal family, but had only one son, so Isaac's wife had to be spectacular. She didn't fold up her tent and go home when things were tough. And she was blessed for her tenacity.
Question 7) How "good" is good enough?
Only the Lord can tell you that. It is a balance between feeling comfortable, and stretching yourself in His work. Don't measure yourself against anyone else--it is the wrong measurement for you. Not against your mom, sisters, neighbors, no one.
Question 8) How can we find our identity beyond being a wife, mother?
It is hard because the world identity for us isn't real. Even her photo hanging in the RS building in SLC has wrinkles that were retouched. She can't even keep up with her OWN image. We cannot shy away from the title of MOTHER, whether or not we have children here. That is a title given us for eternity. We are an equal half of an eternal pair. That is our eternal identity.
The Holy Ghost's voice to us is vital in this. (See D & C 11:12) In the RS History volume that will come to us soon, Eliza Snow remarked (paraphrased here:) 'Without the Spirit I feel crushed by the world. With the Spirit, I can do anything.' We do not have children because it is a lifestyle choice, or because they will tell us we are cute, great, wonderful, or they will gratify us. We have children because it is God's plan.
Question 9) Clarification on "escaping", please?
We must first align ourselves with the will of God, with the Lord's plan. If hobbies become an escape from the essential things because they are hard, then it is trouble. Align yourself first to God, then do something creative to balance ourselves, to develop our talents, etc. then it is great. Many of the apostles paint. It is not keeping them from the essentials.
Women are an essential part of God's plan. Heavenly Father sent His perfect Son to an imperfect mortal mother. Heavenly Father trusts us to do our best with His children. He'll let us know when we are doing our best. And He'll let us know when we aren't.
In Ether 12:27, the Lord tells us we are WEAK, that we have WEAKNESS--that is a single one. He will make us strong
Sister Beck was terrific. I felt so much better after hearing her speak. I believe her when she has told us "we are doing better than we think. And we can do a little better still."
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