Testing the Waters

 Job interviews are nerve wracking for me.  I think I do pretty well, but I sure overthink them. My resume covers a lot of ground and nothing is an easy fit.  When someone looks at my work experience, they will likely be confused because I have "office" experience but it covers administration, file clerk, financial management, employee supervisor, trainer, and executive assistant. There is no one label that covers everything. That makes job hunting a little scary.

This week I got serious about the job hunt. I updated my resume and applied to a dozen or more positions through a couple of head-hunter organizations online like ZipRecruiter and Indeed. Each of those sites has a learning curve as well because they have you take little tests or assessments to give the hiring managers a sense of what you really know.  And, frankly, the directions on those are not always very clear.

But I put myself out there and have been to a handful of interviews. A couple of second interviews and today I had an hour long working interview and at the end of that was told I was their number one choice--but he had to "run it pass the other owners" and they'd be in touch in the day or two. In that case, I had an advantage with my age as they wanted some one "settled" and "mature".  Wait.  Maybe that was a backhanded compliment. Either way, one point for the non-Barbie, grown woman applicants.

My dilemma is one of choice:  Do I choose a challenging job with better pay that will stress me out and aggravate my post-Covid fatigue or the lesser paying job with better atmosphere and friendly environment where I can learn and make great relationships? That is question that sits on y heart today. 

That possible fatigue inducing element is real. I have never been so sick and even with the completed vaccine regimen I still have to monitor my progress. And this isn't a life long career, as we are building toward our own business that I will be running day to day in about a year or so.

I want to get something I can be happy doing for as long as I do it, And I want to contribute to the business property as we get into the physical location and actual building itself and the business that we will open there. There are always so many factors. 

I'll get something by the end of the week. Fingers crossed it is the right one.

Pushed to Move

 A month or so ago I wrote about feeling nudges on my heart. I knew something was needing to change and I needed to do it.

Well, I have made those changes.

The 22nd of December I worked my last day at the Hyundai dealership where I had been doing three jobs: warranty administrator, cashier's office manager, administrative assistant to the service manager. I was there for 2.5 years.  I inherited a hot mess when I got into that place.  I left them an organized, cross-trained, competent team with expectations and goals set in place for them as a whole that maximizes the work we do to help the service department, and the dealership as a whole. I feel like the work I was there to do was done and I felt I was ready for a change.

Sadly, the timing wasn't exactly of my own choosing.  Coming off a three months past a positive Covid-19 test, I was still easily fatigued.  I couldn't get enough rest. I didn't have the energy to do much of anything else but get through the day at work, and then kept us clean and clothed and fed at home. I knew that was the catalyst to make the change. I had only thought I'd have another year or so to make that change.  The need I had to make adjustments and opportunities to recover made that change needed now, not later.

So the 23rd, I packed up my clothes and the handful of other things I knew I needed immediately and hit the road south. Hubz had already gone south on the Saturday before, so he was there already. Driving down alone was a release, a "pause" in my consciousness, and chance to recalibrate my thoughts. When I pulled in to the garage I felt a little lost, but had a feeling that things would soon settle and I was where I needed to be.

That doesn't mean that I didn't feel guilty to be able to leave my life and hit a reboot for myself. I have dear friends who, I know, were sad and were going to miss me.  I had guilt about that. I was disappointing them by making this change. I was disappointing my boss by choosing to leave a job he appreciated me for doing. I was disappointing members of our congregation that enjoy my Sunday school classes each month. I was disappointing myself for thinking I didn't deserve this move and these changes. But I sure felt guilty about disappointing people.

Somehow I will work out this undeserved guilt about disappointment others, but that will take so much time. But in the mean time I will get my health back into my own hands. I will work out some physical exercise, some sleep patterns, some mental stability. I know that this is what my life needs to be in this moment. I won't be in this moment forever, but I need to make the best use of my time here while I'm in it. I will know when the next thing needs to happen and I will be ready.

Nudges on My Heart

 Maybe it is me, but sometimes I feel something needs to end, change or shift.  Mostly, however, I avoid change and ignore those feelings.  Sometimes, though, there is no denying it.

I'm feeling nudges. Uncomfortable nudge, but nudges, undeniably.

There is change coming and a shift before me and I am not sure I am looking forward to all of what will be.  But I know it is due, and I need it in my life. Even if it isn't going to make me more comfortable.

As the time gets closer to this move, I know it will do me good.  But even with that knowledge I hesitate getting to it.

Luckily, I have a team supporting me and encouraging me and are looking forward even if I am hesitant to do it myself.

Stay tuned.  Things are beginning to happen. I might squirm a bit before it all happens, but I know it is coming, and I know that once I'm through it, it will be good.

#52 Stories--Story #17

What has been your greatest physical or athletic accomplishment--an endurance race, a difficult hike, a personal health goal? how did you stay motivated to reach the finish line?

In March 2017 I began making small changes using an app on my phone called "Lifesum" to count calories and track my exercise with the goal in mind to loose 25-30 pounds.  I knew that my health needed to improve and doctors I had seen over the years would always tell me "if you lost some weight..." I knew it was time.

I had rolled along fro some time with the hope that something "magical" would come along to help me with the weight and appetite control.  But with most anything, my mom was right all along--count calories and eat less that you burn was the actual answer.  There is nothing special or exciting about a plan like that, but it is something that I could live with the rest of my life--which is really the real answer here.  I needed a lifestyle shift as mush as I needed to loose some weight.

I weighed myself to begin with and then vigilantly kept track of the portion size and calorie counts.  I would enter that into the app each day--each meal most of the time.  I saw how much something "cost me" and what amount of exercise I needed to burn that off.  Soon I was making better choices with my food selections.  Soon I was getting in to a habit of exercise-- I preferred yoga and the treadmill.

I have lost a solid 20 pounds so far.  With another 5-7 fluctuating as the days pass and my menstrual cycle comes and goes.  I have a goal for another 10-15 on top of the good 20 I have lost, but it takes time.  I have hit a plateau in the last month--since the holidays--that is vert discouraging.  But I know if I keep at it, I'll get to my goal weight and have healthy habits to show for it the rest of my life.

At my annual exam with my doctor--who does thorough blood work to really see how healthy I am--in November she told me that I was not only looking good and feeling better, but that I had lost enough weight to no longer need the simvastatin drug to combat my high cholesterol that I have been taking--at the same dosage--for almost 18 years.  I had started on that with my regular family doctor that long ago because I knew i have a family history of heart disease. Now I had made enough improvement to get off of that and be in the safe zone.  That was amazing to me.

I hope the results only to get better as I keep up with this.  I love when people tell me I look great, but it is even better to know I am taking better care of my body that it can be my friend instead of feeling like it was against me all the time.