A Truth Remembered

Today we had our Relief Society's stake women's conference.  It was a wonderful way to spend the day.  There is too much to write tonight, but let me just share just one thought that I received.  It was from a workshop about "Self-Esteem Versus Self-Worth:  Seeing and Improving Ourselves in the Lord's Way".

Our fabulous instructor is a licensed clinical social worker, professionally.  She is the ward Relief Society president.  She is just a wonderful, down to earth, compassionate, kind woman.  She illustrated the differences that the world teaches us--women in particular--in contrast to the teaching of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  For example, in the world, we are identified by what we do or have.  In the Gospel, we are identified as who we are, children of God.  The world teaches self-esteem comes from our comparison to others.  The Gospel tells us the worth or our souls is great.

Just as she mentioned this contrast, I realized something amazing.  I realized that to the world, only one person can be recognized as  "the best".  She used the example of the Miss America competes in the Miss Universe pageant--and even then the winner of that pageant is only the most beautiful woman int he world for one year.  The next year the pageant crowns someone new.

But in the Gospel we can each excel without diminishing the excellence of others.  It reminds me of a quote we are using for our YW Winter Camp Leadership Retreat next weekend.  It is from Marianne Williamson, and says: "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.  Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.  It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.  We ask ourselves: Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?  Actually, you are you not to be?  You are a child of God.  Your playing small doesn't serve the world.  There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.  We are all meant to shine, as children do.  We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us,  It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone, And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.  A s we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

That kind of knowledge is powerful and uplifting.  It was to me today as I felt a new perspective.  I hope it does the same for you.

Miffed...Torqued...Ruffled...Ticked...Put Out...

I had my feelings hurt yesterday and would like your input to tell me I am just being unreasonable--or better yet, I was completely just in feeling a little hurt.

Now this is not a deal breaker kind of thing, as it happened here with my family. Rest assured we will go on in our regular way, and we will still eat and work and talk and everything that goes along with being a family. I still love them, even if they are insensitive, occasionally.

Some of you might know that GG has been working on a Christmas Lights Extravaganza. He and The Boy have strung lights all over (a la Clark Griswold from Christmas Vacation) and have synced the lights to music on the computer and even rigged up a low frequency radio broadcast of the songs so you can "drive though" and watch and listen.

As each little song is roughed in, he has us all pile into the car and drive out into the middle of the cul-de-sac and "experience" his creativity. We have done this as a family at dinner time, and I recently woke up about midnight and he had me go with him them too. Their work is lovely and quite imaginative. Though at midnight, I wasn't quite so enthusiastic.

Then here, is where I feel I got slighted.

I recently created a book online with uplifting and inspirational quotes about nature along with my photos that I use for note cards and had it published--like a real book. It was a Christmas gift experiment and yesterday I received the shipment with my book.

I was very excited about it. I gently opened it and tenderly turned the pages and admired how it all came together. Of course, I wanted to show my loved ones my work. I asked each of them if they would like to see it. They all said "Yes" and then some variation of "in a minute". Of course, the minutes came and went and I finally went to bed at 10:30. No one had even bothered to look at it. And my bet will be today, no one remembers to look either.

We all run out into the street for each update of the Light Show. Why can't my creative work hold the same interest? [Were Genius Golfer's name Marcia, here is where I would insert: "Marcia, Marcia, Marcia!"]

So, wise and kind friends, am I offended for no cause or am I right to get my feathers a little ruffled here? Either way, you can tell me. I guess I just need to hear it from someone else today.

Hey! I Know You!

One of my favorite perks from my time at the schools is when I get some little student who recognizes me but just can't place from where they know me. I had this happen yesterday.

As you may know, I help the PTSA sell suckers at the Junior High every Friday. But yesterday I was helping on an off day with their Red Ribbon Week. I was in charge of a bean bag toss game (of sorts). I spent two lunch periods stooping over and over again to pick up little bean bags/hacky sacks from around the target and handling out very tiny Tootsie roll-type candies to a ton of junior high kids.

The Boy, meanwhile, got stung by a bee on his ear (?!) at lunch recess and had toughed it out as long as he could and called for me to come get him. By the time I got him all checked out, legally, and he got his stuff and met me in the office, it was nearing time for the elementary school to let kids out anyway.

A smaller collective of junior high kids generally show up each day at the elementary to pickup brothers, sisters, cousins, or neighbors and walk home all together. It is nice to see, actually.
One of these seventh graders was talking with her friend when she noticed me waiting for The Boy.

"Hey, I know you!" They always begin this way. I love the dawning comprehension and the recognition they own when they announce it.

"Sure," I try to help her. "I've done PTA stuff here for nine years now."

"No, I didn't go to school here. I'm just hanging out with my friend."

"Then, you must have seen me at the junior high today during lunch. I was helping with Red Ribbon Week games."

"No, I stayed inside at lunch today."

"Then maybe you know me from the sucker table on Fridays at the junior high."

"No, I would remember you from that. I don't usually get to buy a sucker."

"Is it from soccer? Did you play soccer this summer?"

"No, no soccer."

"Did you swim on the swim team this summer? I helped with meets for the city team."

"No, I didn't swim on the team."

"Well, I went to pool a bit with my kids. Maybe you saw me there."

"No, I didn't go very often."

"Well," I try to offer kindly, "Maybe you have seen me, but just can't remember from where."

"Wait," she calls as I am headed to the door with The Boy in all his stingy soreness.

"Hey, aren't you, like, from the, uhm, like from my, uhhh, you know, from camp! That is it. You were at Girl's Camp!"

"That must be it. I am in the Stake Young Women's presidency and you must have seen me at camp. You must have had fun, then, huh?"

"Yeah, it was great. I knew I knew you from somewhere."

Exchanges like that remind me how important it is to be a good example--no matter where I am. Just like I tell my kids, "I know a lot of moms and they know who you are and they will tell me if you are fooling around!" I try to scare them into not choosing badly. I hope by now I am a better "show you know" kind of example than not. At least, the kids who have these kinds of conversations with me, know that I was kind to them--mostly--and in reality care about their well being. The ones that think otherwise, were probably trying to steal suckers!