Spinning Wheels, And Other Analogies

No, I don't mean the spinning wheels, like Sleeping Beauty pricked her finger on in the story.  I mean, my wheels feel like they are spinning out...in the mud or sand or ice.  Like this blog project is getting no where in a big hurry.

Ideally, it is a point of connection for my family our of state.  Ideally, it is a personal history, a journal of sorts.  Ideally, I would be writing every day.  My world is far from ideal a the moment.

At this moment, I feel like this failure to blog is another seam slowly ripping along my straight stitched tidy life, just a thread at a time.  Nothing is a major blow out, but if I don't take the time to fix the little things, the seam will be gaping, and the edges of my life's fabric will begin to fray and there will be permanent damage.

I don't want you to worry.  There isn't anything that will rock our family's world--or my health world, or my children's world.  It is just the fact that working--what essentially amounts to full time--and tryingt o keep up with the house, The Boy, Genius Golfer, my primary class, the neighbors, etc., etc., etc. is  really knocking the wind out of me some days.  Some days I can keep it together.  Others I can't seem to keep my legs under me.

Is this typical for "working moms"?

I hate to use that term--frankly, as all the women I know are "working"--the difference is really just the paycheck.  But this shift in my life over the past almost-a-year-now, feel more acute as I go on.

I'm not saying I'm giving up the blog.  It is a useful tool to unload my mind and even vent about the world I live in.  But I put pressure on myself to write EVERY day and that isn't happening, which then goes on my "still undone" list.  And that self-imposed pressure isn't healthy, surely.

So, while my goal may be to write regularly, that may or may not be daily.  But I've been doing this since June 2008 and it's the best thing I have to say I'm a journal writer.  I don't want to leave it hanging.  So please be patient with me while I sort through my life.

And please don't ask me about my scrapbook project(s).  That is even more discouraging.

Many Thanks To Most

I just wanted to say thank you for all of you that read my crazy blog postings. I especially appreciate the kind words or uplifting comments. I enjoy the snarky comebacks or sarcastic additions you make. I feel as if we have a conversation going, rather than a one sided dialog.

For those of you who are lurkers, and still make comments without leaving your name--feel free. I write what I like and when I like and how much I like, but I don't do it for you. I am not apologizing. I do it for me, as a vent sometimes or as a humorous observation that my friends might also appreciate. If you do not like the things I have posted, you are welcome to quit reading right now and not bother wasting your time with my written word. It if fine with me.

For those of you who will continue to check back in with me at your convenience, you are welcome any time. I know you have plenty to do, and even if you are reading to avoid doing those important things, I know you could spend your time elsewhere. So, thanks for hanging out with me for a little bit, every once in a while. I enjoy your company, even if someone out there questions my own.

BELATED Anniversary?

Last Wednesday marked the one month mark for my blog. And I failed to even mention it. I was just enjoying the writing, not keeping track of the number of days. Does that even count as an anniversary? Maybe just for high school couples and newlyweds.

In my month of writing, I was surprised by the randomness of my topics, and yet that is one of the reasons that drew me to this type of writing. Whatever I was thinking about at the moment I sat down at the computer could be a topic. Other topics came from something I read or heard on the radio, or maybe even something that the kids were doing. I love the full spectrum of thoughts I can cover here.

The other surprise was the journal-like quality this daily writing gives me. I was a dedicated daily journal writing as a younger person (like in junior high and high school when I had irrational juvenile iideas....), then life sort of happened and the daily writing first took a "I'm too tired to write today" quality and then just dropped off. Even a weekly entry in my journal became more than I could keep up with. I felt that even when I did write each week, it wasn't good enough. As if I should be writing not only a travelogue but a full description of my feelings and thoughts, my wishes and secret desires. Yeah. That never happened. So I gave up since I felt I was failing anyway.

I had also hoped that this blog might be a way to connect with family and friends that live a little farther away, that I should be writing to each week--especially my parents--that I just don't get to as much as I want. I hope they are still checking in, but I wouldn't want to pressure anyone to read this. I would hope that the writing carried my voice well enough to let readers into my life a little more closely.


While I have attempted to write EVERY day, this week I will be away at Girls' Camp with The Girl and will miss a couple or three days. I'm sure that the whole event will offer many sparks for writing topics. I'll see what I ultimately have to write about. Having a full month of old posts available to read, feel free to check some older ones while I'm away from the keyboard. And I'll make up for the missing days when I get back.

Thanks for checking in, and I'll be back soon. Wish me luck! Happy Camping!