New Year, New Location, New Progress

 We moved to St. George over Christmas break. Well, I think we moved. We're here in our house in St. George, but we still own a house in Pleasant Grove, and we already have plans to go back there for a few weeks in March. So, maybe we are "snow birding" this winter. I'm not sure about all of this, really.

But the move has already seen some drastic changes for the good for me. Without having to live by an alarm clock, I have slept and slept and slept. Slowly, my body is recovering. It is slow, mind you.  But I am feeling better already just with the opportunity to sleep as long as my body needs to sleep. That could not happen when I was working and was needing to work just after 6AM each day.

With no employment responsibilities, I have used the time to exercise to build strength in my lungs and muscles. I have found a new online yoga class that has helped me focus on my breathing as a way to strengthen from the inside out. It is fostering a renewed flexibility in my body and reminding my body of old ways of toning up and feeling strong again. 

Having a pool at my daily disposal, I have begun to swim each day and with that daily ritual, I was gathering strength to my breathing as well as my muscles. I am saving my joints from the pounding that running would cause and I find emotional and mental health as I see the blue skies each day--even if the air is still a little brisk. On days when I have a little extra energy, I have also taken myself walking, using the several trails that follow the rivers edge here and have found myself enjoying seeing the wild animals along the quiet trail and the serene, natural habitat of creatures great and small.  I have also enjoyed sharing a "good morning" with fellow trail users on both their bikes and their sneakers.

The winter was always hard to cope with in the north.  There could be weeks at a time that were socked into an inversion that trapped cold, gross, gunky air in the valleys. The air was unhealthy, and the mood turned sour quickly when that occurred.  Here, there is no inversion issue.  The winter is here, but regularly we are 10+ degrees warmer than friends in the old cul-de-sac. Seeing the blue skies each day is a blessing I didn't appreciate like I should have before, but I sure do now.

There is still much to do with my personal health improvement campaign.  But I feel I am well on my way. None of this would have happened without Genius Golfer's agreement to let me quit my job and move south. That would not have been an option had we not bit the bullet 4 years ago and begin this "retirement" house project and the subsequent pool project. Maybe he knew I would need to flee here for my mental health some day, but I do nothing either one of us had any idea my physical health would need it too. So, I'm all the more grateful for him leading those decisions.

With all that said, my business plans for our Quench-It down here are at a stand still, for now.  Finding a good location is much more difficult than I had imagined. But I feel like that right thing will show up and when it does we will be ready. But like all my gut feelings, I have no time schedule given to me ahead of time. So we wait, prepared.

Progress on too many arenas might be too much to accomplish, perhaps.  So I have taken my sense of accomplishment from my health progression and will focus on that for the time being. Regardless, I am grateful to be here and to be on the upward swing, however slow that movement.

Life Long Learning

This week I had a chance to sing with a women's choir as part of our stake's Women's Conference at church.  Sister Carole Stephens, the 1st counselor in the LDS General Relief Society presidency was our guest speaker.  The choir sang an arrangement of "The Lord is my Light".  The conference was terrific, and the song went well.  But I learned something that touched me deeply, even befor ethe openingprayer was offered.

I sat with a dear friend who, professionally, is a licensed clinical social worker. In the short time we had before and after the choir warm up and final run through Saturday morning, she and I exchanged details on the kids, families, husbands, work.  She finally asked me how I was doing.  She didn't ask like it w as throw away question. She asked like it was what all the other answers I had just given hinged on.  She was asking how I was doing, emotionally, spiritually, intellectually.

After explaining that I had gotten some medical help to get my hormone levels in check and that seemed to be going well, she asked some other deep questions.  Things that are prevalent in this stage of my life--children becoming adults, becoming "empty-nesters" sooner than later, shifts in responsibility changes in my work and volunteer life, and the changes that happen to a couple after being married for 20+ years.

Because she is my friend, I never thought she was holding my life under a microscope and looking at it for merely professional curiosity.  Because I trust her, I told her what was what.  I didn't mince words and I didn't really hold back.  This isn't what I thought my life would be at this stage of it.  I didn't anticipate the emotional heart ache I would have as my kids got to the edge of adulthood and took their first steps into the abyss.  I told her I had anxiety of being "just a couple" again after the years of beings a "family" at home.  She looked at me with compassion and understanding.

She is just ahead of me int he grand scheme of things.  Her eldest child is married and is living in another state while her daughter's husband is in school and she is working full time as a nurse.  Her middle child is attending a university nearby but no longer living at home.  And her youngest is nearing the end of high school and headed off to college and missionary service soon as well.  She gets what I am talking about.  She had been there, done that.  And she had a mother's heart.  She knows what I am feeling.

She gave me some great advice about how to protect my heart and let the kids grow up without going crazy without them.  She gave me a wonderful analogy too.  She said that she never understood why the scriptures tell us to "pray always" but we are taught that God knows our desires and our concerns and our thoughts.  Why do we need to tell Him what is going on in our lives, when he already knows it all?

She theorized that since we know our Heavenly Father is a wonderful parent--perfect, even--and He has had similar experiences that we are having now, He still wants to communicate with us and invites us to pray always so we can initiate that communication.  He will bless us, no matter what.  But He waits for us to ask for His help.  He isn't going to force Himself on us.

A good earthly parent wants to let their adult children to live their own lives, and to make their own decisions.  But that good mortal parent also has had similar experiences and may even have great advice or instruction to give their child to help them avoid trouble or costly mistakes. However, a good parent gives their child space to decide for himself.  But if invited in, will gladly offer whatever they can to help. 

I understood that.  I know my mom used to say that her job was to raise us to be good, hard working, honest, self-sufficient people.  If she did her job, she'd eventually work herself out of that job.  Yet, no matter what I have going on, when I pick up the phone or type a quick email to ask her something or run something past her, she responds with love and warmth and gratitude for being included.  He advice is always stellar.  And then I wonder why I didn't think to ask her sooner.

Life is all about the leaning.  Some times that learning seems to be about the kids.  Other times that learning is for me.  This weekend, it was a lesson I needed to hear, and ponder and appreciate.