Most Welcomed Surprise

Last night, I was in the middle of ironing shirts, watching the Prince of Persia, when the doorbell rang.  I wasn't sure who was home, so I went to answer it.  I'm glad I did, since it was for me.

One of my original Trek Boys was standing at my door. I broke into a big smile and had him come in and give me a hug.  We sat down in the front room and visited for 20 minutes or more.

I asked him about his family--they just moved this summer across town.  Everyone is great.  The younger siblings already knew people in their new ward and neighborhood, so that was an easier transition for them.  His older sister recently graduated from BYU and had started her first post-collegiate job, so I ask about how she was doing.

I had just received a sweet note from his sister, just younger than him, who is serving a mission and doing great!  We chuckled about how much she is loving being a missionary.  No surprise there.

Then I asked him about his work and school.  He works at the Senior MTC teaching Russian and Ukrainian to Senior Couples preparing to serve their missions. Crazy!  He loves it of course, and told me about Skyping with a general authority who was working in Germany, but who is trying to learn Russian.  He is teaching these folks via Skype and only gets to work with them about one hour a week or so.

He told me he was leaning a new direction for school.  When we trekked he was thinking some kind of neuroscience to study brain functions.  That was pre-mission, of course, and even pre-university.  Considering the upheaval Ukraine and Russia are in currently, I could absolutely see the interest International Relations wold hold.  I told him about my darling roommate and former FHE brother, now married, who work for the state department and have traveled most of their married life.  They have three daughters they have brought with them all over the world. He looked relieved to hear people can do that with a family.  He said he has a lot of homework to do to look into what kind of careers were possible, but he'd love to work fro the US in a diplomatic assignment or something in the eastern European countries.

Then I broached the subject: dating. He's been home about a year, and I asked him if he was seeing anyone yet.  He was very open with me. Apparently these kids get asked this a lot.  He said he's dated quite a bit, but nothing serious.  But there was one young women he knew from high school, where they were good friends, who just returned from her own mission about two weeks ago.  We chuckled about striking while the iron is hot, without scaring her away.  I gave him permission to ask her out next weekend.  If she is still in the obedient missionary mindset, and maybe she'd be more open to seeing someone seriously.  And if not, they have a lot of catching up and getting to know you again  to do too.  Hint, hint. wink, wink.  He promised to keep my posted.

This kid is one of the kindest, sharpest, brightest kids I have known.  He astounds me with his knowledge and understanding of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  He is a loving son and brother and took his responsibilities on trek, and in callings and as a missionary since that time appropriately.  Add some curly hair and big bright smile, and I'm a goner.

It's been five years since we were a trek committee together.  So most of the kids I have been blessed to serve with, I know they have moved on with their lives.  And that is good.  I want that for them.  But once in a while, a personal 20 minutes to catch up and give them a hug again makes my whole day.  I'm astonished that 12 kids I was fortunate enough to work with for about year have made such an impression on me.  I hope I did as much for them, but I love them whether they like it or not.  And I am so proud to call them my friends.

A Friend Who Understands

A few days ago I happened to run into a dear friend who, without any prompting from me, opened up about her son and his attempt to overcome a pornography habit.  She felt like a failure as a parent.  Yet she has been one of the most involved and committed parent I know.  She has had wonderfully open relationships with her children--to the point that I have been wishing my relationships were more like theirs.  She and her good husband are technologically aware and keep up all the recommended safety points to keep their kids safe.  But even with all that he still got into trouble with this insidious technological poison.

Having her say something made me feel like I have an ally--as a mom with a son who has gotten into a spot of bother with this type of thing too.  No one talks about it.  Not in terms of "here's how do you deal with it once it has found you".  There is a lot of "here's how you avoid it" but even if you do those things, there isn't a absolute promise of it passing over your home.  That is where the fear of parental failure comes to a concerned mom.

This good woman shared with me some of the things they have done to try to help their son develop tools and skills to maneuver through life where a phone is a valuable tool, where a computer is a necessary home appliance and an expected work format.  These THINGS are going away in his life so their attitude is to help him know how to avoid the trouble that could be available at the touch of a key while still living with the tools that could bring that into his life.

For us, The Boy has faced things that are hard before, and with continued love and support and maybe some extra techniques and tools he can overcome this too and be worthy for a mission and prepared to meet life head on too.  This dear friend's son is a brilliant kid, with a very right future.  But every son (and even some daughters) in every family will have to figure out how to get through life with the technology that could be the access point for all sorts of evil.  Luckily for all of us, we understand that Jesus Christ has the perfect solution to all things that hurt us, block us, and drop us to our knees.  His Atonement is the only way to overcome.  With His love and a personal experience with His Atonement, everyone can give up the issues they struggle with, and can find peace that only He offers.

My dear friend and her wonderful son will also be in my prayers along with The Boy and his group of buddies.

Another New Family

We had a Trek Kick Off meeting this week for all the youth in our stake (and the adults, too) who will be going on our Trek in June.  Genius Golfer and I are "grandparents" in a family.  Two older teens are the "Ma and Pa"  and our job is to guide them in their leadership roles to watch over the younger "kids" in the family.

At the meeting we met our "Ma", Miri, and one of the "kids", Adam.  Miri, a junior, is delightful and so is 8th grader, Adam.  He is just not sure he really wants to go on this thing.  He is quite the athlete, from what we learned so far.  And I think he is worried his summer practice schedule--for football (he wants to make the High School JV team as a freshman)--will be in jeopardy.  But I think if we get excited together he will join us.

Sometimes experiences that are really worth doing seem daunting and even not quite what you want when you are first faced with them.  But with anything that requires a commitment and some sacrifice, it is always worth it in the end.

We have three other "kids" to recruit and one that just couldn't make it to the meeting but is going to come with us.  We have some work to do with them, but I'm excited to try.  I know how much I STILL love my trek kids from four years ago.  I'd love to have that kind of connection for these new kids too.

Great Expectations

Yesterday I received three separate high school graduation announcements.  These were from two neighborhood kids--one whom I was able to work with on our Stake Youth Committee last year.  The third was from a young woman who had asked me to write her a letter of recommendation in part of her application to the US Naval Academy.  (She was accepted, by the way.)

I love that I get to work with such terrific kids, like these three I heard from yesterday.  I am astounded by their innate goodness and their wishes to do good wherever they are.  They are motivated and conscientious.  They work hard and excel at the things they are doing.  And those things are as varied as the kids themselves.  I have seen seen them participate in athletic, music, academic, charity and dramatic endeavors.  In every case, they are achieving their goals and learning and growing as they do.

They make me want to be better too.

Our HS will hold its graduation on June 2nd.  I have so many young friends crossing into the adult rhelms of their life that day.  I am proud of each one of them.  And I count myself very blessed to know them and to have worked with them as they matured and developed their leadership skills and testimonies.  I wish them much luck as they begin their next chapter and move into that next phase.  There is so much ahead of them.  I can't wait to see the fantastic things they will pull off.

Intruder Alert

Saturday night I had the rare opportunity to crash the prom. Better yet, I got to crash the prom with a friend. Even better than that, this friend, with whom I crashed the prom, is a fantastic teacher at the HS and her students love her--and really, she was like a Rock Star at the prom!

I was very interested, in this covert operation, to get a look at my Trek kids, primarily, but also to compare and contrast the Prom today versus the Prom back in the day. You know, when I went. When the Flintstones were modern.

Well, some things were universally acknowledged truth, still. Some girls just choose hoochie mama dresses, with their bazooms just hanging out there for all to see, and more than likely their moms had no idea. The manicured fingertips regularly clutching and pulling at the top edges of strapless or tiny spaghetti strapped dress bodices to keep the bazooms covered. OK, still the same.

There are still those prom dates who, while slow dancing, can't keep themselves for going for the bum-grab, or backside grope as the case may be. Check, still the same.

And there is still the unnatural phenomenon of boys trying to out dress their prom dates by choosing pimp-daddy hats, or selecting a tux with tails, a cane and top hat, or, as I saw in one case in particular, trying to channel Saturday Night Fever's John Travolta with the white suit and dark dress shirt. Talk about a flashback.

But I am happy to report some things have changed. There were so many beautifully dressed young women--my own YW and Trek girls and other YW I know from school and church included here--who wore lovely, modest dresses that allowed them to just dance, and mingle and have fun without worrying that their bazooms were continually in a precarious state of near-falling out of the dress. Their confidance was radiant as they were at ease and comfortable with what they were wearing.

Also new to me, was the sight of young men, impressed with their impeccably and modestly dressed prom dates, who could also just dance and have fun and enjoy the company of friends in groups without constantly trying to avert their eyes from the said falling bazooms. These darling boys were having a great time and consequently, their dates were too. What a concept--no uncomfortable situations!

But my favorite improvement at the Prom in the last couple of decades was that so many of my young friends who, when they saw me there--completely out of context--went out of their way to come over and talk to us and say hello and were not embarrassed to recognize that their Young Women or Trek leaders were there and how sincerely happy they seemed to see us. Here I mean specifically my trek kids: Professor, Bronze, Snow White and NSG(Non-Stop Gangsta). If they weren't really, they faked it well enough to make me thrilled!

I love these kids--any place and any time I see them!

Youth Leadership

Yesterday I was made aware of a situation in The Boy's deacon's quorum at church. Two situations, really. Neither one is what I would have expected.

Apparently, since The Boy turned twelve in April, the handful of boys have been teaching the Sunday lessons, except on Fast Sunday when a counselor in the Bishopric teaches them. What do 12 year olds know enough of to teach their peers?! How do 12 year olds concentrate that hard on a topic in order to be prepared to teach?! If The Boy has had to take a turn in this preposterous idea why hasn't he had any lesson manual to follow?! The majority of the suuposed lesson time, they are planning their scout activities for the week. Is that what is supposed to happen in priesthood meetings?!

Genius Golfer was called two weeks ago as an assistant Scout Master and as such was asked to sit in on the Deacon's Quorum lessons on Sunday. Yesterday, GG discovered, The Boy (who is the Quorum secretary) forgot to call one of the other boys to remind him that the lesson was his responsibility. So the leader who is implementing this program told The Boy "since you forgot to call him you can teach the lesson". Uh. I don't think so. GG was stunned. He came home from church and asked me if this was normal. Uhhh, no way Jose.

The other issue was the youth in our ward are preparing the annual Golden Age Dinner for this week's activity. They plan a dinner and invite the more senior members of the ward to join them. The idea is some intergenerational cooperation and increased love and concern for our youth to have towards our older members. Apparently this same leader who has the boys teach, assigned this entire event to these same boys--who have never even been to one of these dinners before. The newest Deacon was given charge of the entire thing--menu planning, shopping, budget, etc. Talk about a lot of stress on a young boy! That is crazy!

Even The Boy had an assignment, but nothing like our little deacon friend, C. In talking with C's mom last evening, she said her boy was feeling the weight of the world in this assignment. No guidance was given, and no assistance was offered. Worse yet, the Young Men have blown through their budget for the year and have no money to spend on this event. The Young Women have offered to help kick in monetarily (and would be willing to help any other ways too, if they were asked). But then the boys must respect that they are spending other's people's activity money. That is a lot of stress for a 12 year old boy, no matter who it is.

I get it that as leaders of youth we are here to teach them leadership skills, but the 'drop them into the deep end to teach them to swim' theory is not a method I would advise. Maybe GG's new calling there is really one of supervisor and advocate for these boys. Who knows, at this point. But I was hot yesterday as all this came to light. With experiences like these as a 12 year old, can you blame these kids for not showing interest in the church activities by the time they are 15?

I'll keep you posted. And I'll try to keep my tongue.