Science of Siblings

Did you see the news lately that getting along with siblings will provide a template for all your other relationships in life?  It was in the latest Parade magazine that comes with the Sunday papers.  HERE is the link to the article.

It made me think that maybe the kids will be OK.  They get along fairly well with each other most of the time.  However, even when they argue and fight they have also had to learn how to work it out, make up and apologize to and forgive each other.  That is a basic life lesson, right?

I don't think my sister and I fit that mold.  We did very little together growing up--except fighting.  We did a lot of that.  We argued and quarreled and fought and then ignored and avoided and dismissed.  No wonder my parents were shaking their heads all the time at us.

I hope she and I have overcome most of that now that we are grown ups.  We tried really hard, especially for the sake of our kids, that the cousins to learn to love and care for each other--and it worked really pretty well until her divorce and the turmoil that naturally comes from that kind of disruption in family life.

We probably still have scars from the years we grew up in the same house.  And I know there are scars left from her marriage dissolving and the damage left in its wake.  And then we all suffer scars from just living life.  But I do love her and her boys and want her to be happy.  And I believe she feels the same for me.  But we aren't really close.  We talk on the phone when there is something to say or ask or tell.

Maybe in that way my own kids will be more successful as siblings.  They choose to do things together more often than not.  And until The Girl leave in August for university life, I hope that will continue.  After that, well, The Boy is going to be stuck with his parents.    Poor kids.  he is going to be wishing for more sibling-time.