Sorry for missing yesterday's post again. I have had a lot on my mind, but nothing that settled into a clear stream of thoughts.
Today The Girl and I worked our summer rec swim team's fundraiser--the PG Triathlon. This year--for the first time ever--we drove the Bike Support truck. Its a first because we have never had a truck before and usually I help at the registration booths writing entrant's numbers on their calves and triceps with a sharpie. But times are a changing, and someone else had that job today.
Frankly, the times are a changin' faster than i would like sometimes. I realized that the next swim meet that is at our pool is the same day as our Girl's Getaway Weekend and I won't be there to run the bull pen. And you know what? I don't even feel guilty. Well, I do a little bit. But it won't stop me from going anyway.
That is a big change for me. Unusual, and big.
Guilt is a strong motivator for me, sadly. I had the kids DefCon 3 threats earlier this week and it spilled into my work life--so I made cookies after being sent home to deal with my kids and brought "apology cookies" with me the next day.
I feel guilty about leaving The Boy while I go to work and worry that my working might have something to do with his recently discovered issues with inappropriate phone etiquette and compute ruse. I haven't figured out how to fix it yet, but I don't think it should mean quitting my job.
I sign off all our PTA finances for this past year on Monday and turn it over to the new board and I only have a little guilt about that. But its been working on me just the same.
I probably need therapy and since that isn't going to happen, I will probably just eat something that is bad fro me and feel guilty over that. From all the guilt I dole out to myself, you might think I was raised Jewish. But I come by this naturally, and all on my own.
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