I Already See The Difference

I've been a employee for only one week, and yet, I can already see a difference in some of the things that I have been doing.  The biggest difference is one I like and want to share with you.

Did you know that when you work for someone else, you can go to work--do the work--and then come home from work?  The WORK doesn't always follow you home. You do not have to be worried about answering the phone and having a coworker call, or a customer need something, or a big-wig get a hair-brained idea and want you to do it before morning.  I didn't know this was a possibility.  I always have thought that if you were doing something for work, you were owned by that employer.

When I first graduated from college, I worked at a dental research lab.  The woman who ran the facility was CrAzY.  And I don't mean  she w as a "wild and crazy guy" kind of person.  I mean she could have been insane. She'd get an idea in her head and she'd want you at the office the next morning at 4 AM so you could do what she wanted before she left on a plane to speak somewhere at 8 AM.  then two days later, she would have thought about it longer, and realize that what you did at 4 AM isn't really what she wanted after all, so you'd have to undo it all and redo something else she imagined up for you to fill your time.  This kind of thing happened all. the. time.

So, I thought, work was something that you dreaded calling you at home just when you were comfortable and enjoying the rest of your life.

My parents have a shop where they work.  They are the owners, so they have a different set of issues on top of regular employees--I understand that--but they also get phone calls from customers.  Someone had something go wrong and needed a tow, a trailer, a loaner car to get them by until their car can be repaired.  I know people rely on their vehicles, and vehicles don't break down during business hours.  But friends, family, family of friends of customers who happen to be driving through town sometimes can cause you to be at work, even when you're not.

So, even when your work will benefit someone else, and it is nice to help them, your personal life isn't necessarily yours all the time.

And my final example of this is from Genius Golfer's work life.  When you are really good at your job, you can cause your own troubles with this.  Maybe something at the office doesn't happen, or someone else--who usually has no business doing anything, much less "your thing"--does something that breaks, suspends, interrupts or disengages whatever you are responsible for seeing gets done.  And it doesn't get done after all.  Who do "they" call?  You of course.  GG has taken fix-it calls on family vacations, had to borrow home computers or laptops of friends we were visiting, and even kept this cell phone with him and ringer on during anniversary dinners.  His work never seemed to leave him alone.

So, being too good at your job isn't a great idea either, because they will never let you leave your work.

All these example have come to mind this past week, as I learned as fast as I could what I was supposed to be doing at my new job.  I concentrated hard to figure out their industry specific software, their system of delivery, the business machines I was assigned to use, understand what they were asking me to do (filtered through a new set of terminology and references and abbreviations), and transfer calls using a new phone system with button that had out of date labeling.  I think I did pretty well, all things considered.

This past week,  I used my brain in ways I haven't for a long time.  I spend energy and effort in doing something for others--and myself, knowing I'd get paid at some point too.  And the best part, was discovering that when my hours were done, I could finish my project to that point--it will be there tomorrow--and tidy my workspace, clock out and walk out to the car.

Work hasn't followed me home.  Once.  All week.  This foreign idea is so wonderful, I can't begin to tell you!

Why have I been spending my life and so much energy, time, effort, money and blood, sweat and tears volunteering only to have it follow me home like dog poop stuck to my shoe?!?!  I know the work was worthwhile while I was doing it, but it is a breath of fresh air not to have colleagues, bosses, customers (or whatever you associate all these types with in a volunteer world) call me at home or demand more than I have already given.  And, they are still going to pay me?!?! Now that is the CrAzY part.

Makes going back to work for Week Two seem like a dream life.

Can't We All Just Get Along?

Everyone has issues. Everyone has worries. "Nobody knows the troubles I've seen..." It is just part of life. Right?

I find it very curious that while we all have these troubles and sorrows, issues and worries, the things that bother us are not the same as the things that bother those around us. We can and must learn empathy for others. And generally, I think everyone I know feels badly for those whose situations seem tough, though different, from our own.

Lately, though, perhaps the situations of those around me are increasing in intensity or the duration has lasted beyond what they expected because I am hearing a lot more negativity. It has felt like a playground battle nigh unto "My dad can beat up your dad." The difference now is, "My issues are worse that her issues." And that is quickly followed by a laboriously created list of just WHY the issues are worse for the one making the list. And that, then, is followed up with a stinging critique of what the other person is a) doing wrong, b) not doing or c) doing while flat out justifying it wrongly to herself.

AAAARRRRGGGHH. Enough already. Sure, situations at times are really rotten. Sometimes really, really rotten. Many times they are out of our control and we are left to deal with it. But we must remember: We are friends; most of the time we like each other's company. We are women, raising our families the best way we can. We are women of faith who usually understand that God is ultimately in control and we can just lean on Him when the days are longer than we can take or when we feel too wimpy to do what is placed before us. We are sisters in Spirit, yet these are the very same women we are comparing ourselves to and, in essence, beating up emotionally to make ourselves feel better. That is not the way we'd want to be treated. Why are we treating others like that?

Now, before any dear readers begin to think that I am speaking from upon my high horse, soapbox, or ivory tower, let me gently remind you that I am easily the first to jump into this fray. I have already recognized that I quickly fall into the "compare and contrast" chatter, but I also know that it is not right. I am trying hard to stop any negativity that I add to any conversation. Stopping the behavior is harder than it sounds. But I try again every day. I am a work in progress.

Maybe we are all just unsure of ourselves, like we were in seventh grade, when we wanted to be like and be liked by the "Cool Kids". I heard someone say once though, that we compare our Monday-Morning-Worst to everyone else's Sunday-Go-To-Meeting-Best and that is not a fair comparison. I also heard someone say that while I was looking to the proverbial "Cool Kids" other people were looking at me and thinking I was a "Cool Kid". Whether that is true or not, it is worth thinking about and reflecting on the next time we want to play "My situation is worse than yours" with a friend.

Maybe the answer is just BREATHE! Cut others a little more slack. Then give yourselves a LOT more slack and try again in the morning. Maybe we can work on lifting each other along a little better without having to leave anyone on the side of the road, in the dirt, or crying at the curb. Let's try that and see how it feels around us. Maybe we are the catalyst we are looking for to be the change we want. Maybe I am just exhausted and need a nap today. Maybe I just need to get myself to Hart's and get the Diet Coke I am craving to start that day. Yep, that is most likely it. In the meantime, I'll try to just get along and say things that are encouraging rather than discouraging. Trying again tomorrow to do better.