POSITIVE

 I started with a headache, and achy joints last Saturday. Sheer exhaustion, like I have haven't ever felt before settled in and Sunday I added a sore throat to beat a strep screening. Monday I was tested for the coronavirus. Tuesday I spent the day in bed, half sleeping, half annoyed that I felt like hell. Wednesday the result showed I was POSITIVE for Covid-19.

So this week I have rest, drank more juice than I ever remember drinking, rested some more. I sat outside in the sunshine for limited periods.  I slept. I have felt little desire to eat. But Genius Golfer has brought me food and I did eat it, I guess I felt a little better with some blood sugar. Generally it has been a wasted week--not wasted for what I did, but wasted for knowing what day it is. Wasted from feeling even more annoyed that my boss thought it proper to instruct me to do paperwork at home. Wasted to one by one, each day this week, having my employees report that they too are testing positive for this virus. Wasted for thinking that I started this plague in my office.

Honestly, beyond the annoyance for being forced to slow down and take it east--which I have never been good at doing--I'm more annoyed that my work situation wanted to even take caring for myself in a way recommended by the county health department from me and insinuated that I should be able to work from home since I am "just sitting there anyway". Why can't we allow people the time needed to heal? What does the almighty dollar and American business theory that you work yourself sick have to do with anything like ethical business practice? Why does self care have to be diametrically opposed to being a good employee?  Why can't we actually take and use sick time when we need it?

As I told my parents this week, I think this week has fortified my resolve to really quit my job when I am ready--without worrying about hurting someone's feelings, or offending my boss.  Maybe that is what I needed to learn from this experience. It was a difficult lesson to learn, but a necessary one.