Why Me?! Lord, Why Me?!?

Today at work I had an opportunity to do some work that lets me wear my iPod and concentrate on the project at hand.  I had nearly 4 hours that I could listen to my iPod and steadily work on my project.

I chose to listen to a podcast call "Enduring it Well".  It is a nearly hour long program that involves a conversation with someone (or a couple or family, depending on the situation) that have experienced some really difficult experiences.  Some have lost children, some have lost a spouse, some were recovering from a pornography or drug addiction, an eating disorder, a devastating medical situation, or even surviving a horrible natural disaster.

I listened to several episodes of this show today. I felt so grateful to have had this opportunity. It touched my heart. It moved my compassion. And it altered my perspective. And renewed my belief in miracles.

After listening to these inspirational true-life stories, I stopped for a moment.  I was overwhelmed with the feeling that I was blessed beyond belief.  I have had my own struggles.  I have sinned and yet have experienced the actual relief and redemption that comes from Christ's atonement and the miracle of repentance and forgiveness.

But these stories made me cognizant of the precious feeling that I have been spared so many of these other struggles and challenges. Why? What did I ever do to deserve the blessings I have been given? Why have I been given so much? How could I ever deserve this kind of comfort, this kind of blessing, this kind of protection, or this kind of care from my Heavenly Father?

I was so humbled as these thoughts swirled around my mind. I recognize that I don't deserve all that I have been given. I'm so blessed. I know I'm just one person. Yet, I also know that I am a child of God.  He loves me.  He is the perfect parent, and loved each of us perfectly.  He knows the struggles we go through, and listens to our prayers when we plead and beg for His help to endure things.

I hope that I have been diligent enough to survive my own struggles in a way that pleases my Heavenly Father. I do my best each day to be faithful and obedient to the commandments of God. I'm not perfect in that effort, but I keep trying over and over. My greatest wish in all my thinking today is that I have endured my own trials well, and that I will not be required to endure all things.  Just those things that are going to prove me to Him, that will give me enough to return to Him, to deserve my blessings.

I know I don't have the blessings in my life that I do because I am extra special, or more deserving than someone else.  I really just believe that I'm a beloved daughter of my Heavenly Father and that I have a loving Savior, Jesus Christ. And together, Their grand plan of happiness provides all I need to know to return to Them. My obedience, or my personal will, is the only thing I have to give Them. I know that if I keep making the choice to do just that, I can be all that They intend me to become.  And in doing those kind of things, I find the most happiness and even additional strength to continue to do them.

Why me? I think the really question should be: Why Not?  As I do what the Lord asks, I know I am blessed. And I am continually, and eternally, grateful.  His perspective makes the difference, and I know that it is my responsibility to share His love and His grace throughout my life.  Until I get to return to live with Him again.  Perhaps, then, I might attempt to thank Them in a more direct way.