Family Ties

Last evening we had one of our monthly family dinners at Grandamcita's home.  This one was for my BIL, who turned 50 last week.  We have a dinner about once a month, as each of Genius Golfer's siblings, and their respective spouses have birthdays in differing months.  So it is generally 4 of GG's sibs, 3 spouses, and whatever kid-cousins show up.

The last time we got together it was The Boy's turn to pray in our family prayer that night.  In his prayers he told God that he was thankful for his cousins and that they loved each other and got along so well.

I was touched to hear that kind of sentiment form him, but my heart broke at the same time.  I love that the kids love their cousins--and they really do!  Now that they are old enough to drive, they find ways to get together, with or without the parents.  What is heartbreaking is that my two nephews have become estranged to my own kids.  The boys don't know my kids and my kids don't know the boys anymore.

When they were all little my sister and I would try to do something with the kids all together monthly or so, and more in the summer.  We wanted them to know each other as we never knew most of our own cousins.  We had three close by as we grew up and we certainly loved them, but we had more that lived states away and we never got to know, and consequently might not even recognize if we saw them on the street.

My sisters boys and my kids began to drift away as a result of her divorce.  There were time issues and visitations.  There was some kind of drama, to this day we don't know the story, that the older one in particular was told by the other side of his family to keep him from wanting to be with us.  My kids experienced a loss that no kid should have to feel--and that was nothing compared to the strife the boys were experiencing.  But my kids didn't understand what their cousins were going through, and there was little we could really tell them to help.

Now, I think most of the strife for the boys is settling down, but know their parents have both remarried and there are blended families to settle into.  Add to that the schedules of busy teenagers and family activities and work schedules and church and...well, you can see that there is little time left to reestablish relationships with their cousins from that side of the family.

So while I my heart hurts for the broken relationships with my own nephews my kids are missing out on, I rejoice that they do have cousins that they know and love and want to be with any chance they get.  And I hope that the time will come with repairs and reacquaintances can be made.