For his Spring Break, The Boy drove himself and his best buddy to California to send some time with the grandparents, fix a truck problem with Grandpa and do a little sight seeing. Genius Golfer and I were both working, so off he went: alone and unchaperoned by a parent or guardian.
I thought I was ready for his transition to adulthood. He'll be 18 at the end of the month. He was driving through Las Vegas, due to snow over Donner Pass. I thought I was ready. I wasn't completely.
His week went great. The driving was safe. He had a great time. He check in with me throughout the week. But, boy, did I miss him!
It isn't like it was with The Girl. He rarely spends the WHOLE day on a weekend with me. Maybe a few hours if he is helping me with a project. The Girl sometimes would spend the whole day with me. It isn't that.
I'm struggling to put my finger on it, but I believe it rides on the fear that he no longer needs me. The Girl doesn't really either, so this uselessness of a mother is a new sensation for me. I feel like they have needed me for 18-ish years to this point. Suddenly, they don't. It makes me feel a little lost.
Don't get me wrong, I want them to be responsible adults. I just didn't want it to happen so soon.
They have been the most fun as teenagers. And I cannot believe how quickly that segment of their lives has blown past me. I was just getting used to the phase they were in, and all of a sudden they have moved on.
Like it or not, my purpose is shifting.
I need to find a way to make the rest of my life as satisfying as my stint as a mom.
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