Finding Meaning

This morning, very early, I attended a session of the temple.  As I sat in the quiet peaceful chapel, I remembered the date today.  Nineteen years ago today I was sitting in a very similar place, in Oakland, CA, awaiting my very first temple session.

It seems a long time ago, yet like it was yesterday.  I guess that describes a lot of my life.

When I first attended the temple, I was probably not mature enough to comprehend all that was actually taking place.  I knew it was the right thing to do, and I knew it meant a great deal.  I also recognized that I was about to make sacred covenants with my Father in Heaven.  I don't think I understood the blessings that come from making and keeping those covenants.

Even nineteen years later I am not sure I understand it all, or even can logically comprehend--with my mortal understanding--the blessings that I have been given.  A temple is God's house, dedicated to Him for the blessing of His children.  We go for the first time for ourselves, to obtain the blessings for us personally.  You only do that once. 

Every other time we go back, we receive those same blessings fro another; one whom has already passed from mortality and cannot make the same covenants in a physical way.  The promises are theirs, if they choose to accept them.  They may not.  But I believe that most do.  Having a more eternal perspective, having passed on from this life, they may understand more than we do the significance of the covenants made in the the temples.

I hope that as I continue to attend the temple I may come to comprehend how those promises of God really have affected me and my family.  It is those blessings, after all, that  helped to create a family with an ability to be together forever if we live in accordance to the covenants I made.  In my heart I know that is an unmatched promise.  I am sure it will become more and more significant as I grow older, and with any luck, wiser.

When I look at my children and know that they are promised to always be mine, as I live obedient to God's laws, I love them even more.  When I know that I am working toward an eternal marriage with Genius Golfer, it makes the efforts we make all the more meaningful.  Recognizing that I am linked to my parents, grandparents and great parents, and all who have come before me as well as all who will come after me in one binding chain of family is a blessings I am only starting to come to grips with.  Perhaps it will take eternity to comprehend and understand that blessing.

This morning I felt a sense of inspiration and reassurance that God was in charge of things.  He knew what was happening in my life, what weighed on my heart and worried my mind.  Yet, He is directing all the things around me.  He knows what is best for me and what I need to experience to prove myself obedient and worthy to live with Him again someday.  Just knowing I can let go of the worry and heartache I have felt gives me joy.  I do not have to be responsible for more than myself.  I can't control what other people do or say so I just need to curtail my own errors and infractions and make it better each day.

That is the kind of peace I was looking for today.  And really, isn't that the kind of peace we each are looking for, every day?  I am so blessed to know where that peace comes from and from Whom it comes.  Nothing like that kind of peace is found in the world.  It's only found in the Lord.  And today, as always, I give thanks to Him for that.