It's About Time

This morning I was listening to a talk on my iPod by Sister Camille Fronk Olsen. I believe she gave it at a women's conference in the last year or two. For a while now, I have been pondering some ideas in terms of what I need to teach at a Standards Night for our stake's young women and what thought to share at our stake leadership meeting--both opportunities coming this month. Her message gave me some more ideas, but nothing concrete yet.

One thing that did come to mind, however, is that on this blog I have an opportunity to bear testimony of what I believe and what I knowt o be true. Yet, I have never done that formally. So today, it is about time to do that.

After listening to Elder Holland's powerful witness of the Book of Mormon, I recall the first time I read that book all the way through and took the challenge Moroni issues at it's conclusion--to ask if it is true. I was in high school and a seminary student. I was proud that I had read it all the way through on my own and while I had always felt it was true, I wanted to know for sure myself.

The witness I received was not a powerful or overwhelming event. It was simply a thought and a feeling that told me "You already know it is true." I was comforted to feel that in a simple way and yet I knew I knew it now.

I had a similar experience in coming to know Joseph Smith was a prophet called of God. Again, I was a seminary student. I didn't even get to praying over this one however. I was sitting in our classroom--the Primary room on Sundays--and as I listened to the teacher talk of the Prophet Joseph the Spirit told me very gently that I was hearing the truth. Joseph was called of God to translate the Book of Mormon and the he was the prophet of the restoration. It simply made sense. I felt it was true.

I have never doubted the Christ is the Son of God or that I was a child of God. Those, likewise, just made sense to me. The Spirit doesn't usually give me a big, dramatic sign or evidence. It come gently and without fanfare. But the witness I received of the atonement was a little different. That testimony came after making some dumb mistakes that I knew better to make, but being stupid and young (a dangerous combination) I did them anyway. Luckily, I wasn't beyond feeling the Spirit at that point in my life, because something sparked a thought in me to get things in line or I'd never want to later.

With the guidance of a kind and patient bishop, I was walked through the steps of formal repentance. Some of those steps were not comfortable, but I believed it would help me forsake my wrong behavior and I trusted that following the bishop;s guidance was the way I had to go. He urged me to spend more time in the scriptures, more time and effort and thought in prayer. He urged me to reflect on what I really wanted and what I was going to do to get that.

Through that directive, my prayers became more sincere. My scripture study became more personal. I had felt the Spirit return to me and in feeling that realized I never wanted to be without it again. The difference was startling, and yet I had wandered away from it willingly, and without recognizing the change at first. Now I knew the difference and could feel the loss of it and the return of it. I felt me heart soften and felt a willingness to to what I knew was right. I felt a desire to be obedient to the commandments, like I had never felt before.

In one visit with the bishop following several months of this gradual shift back to God's path, he stopped speaking to me and just looked at me. I felt his gaze go right trough me, but unlike the times that had happened before I was not ashamed of what he might sense in me. Then he smiles and told me I was good. I had done what was necessary to repent and the Lord was pleased. I was in the good hands of the Spirit and the Lord.

Many, many months later, I felt so pleased because I knew I was truly worthy to be in the temple and worthy to receive my endowment and to be married. I was pretty proud of the changes I had made and the opportunities that worthiness was providing me with then.

The only way that change could have happened, was due to the atonement. It is real. I have felt the burden lifted and the lightness that comes from giving it over to the Savior. It is a real affect of understand, in some small way, what the Savior offers us. I know the atonement is real. I know it applied to me and it still does.

If that was the only thing someone learned from knowing me, it would make me feel like I was useful in the Lord's plan. I know now happiness comes from obedience to the laws and ordinances of the Gospel. Long term happiness, even into the eternities, can be ours as we covenant with Him and live worthy of those blessings now. Families CAN be together forever. That is the way He planned it to be. I don't understand everything that happens here to mess that up, bu I know that God loves His children and He will make things right someday. That is enough for me.

I sincerely hope people around me can see the knowledge and testimony I have of the Savior, the prophet, the Book of Mormon and of our Heavenly Father just by the way I live my life. I know I am not perfect, but I am perfected in Christ as I utilize the atonement regularly and live the gospel as I understand it. That, I hope, is what people sense when they see me and the way I try to live my life. The Gospel makes me happy. Living the Gospel makes me happy. And so long as I am doing everything I can to be obedient to God, I am making Him happy too.

The simplicity of the Gospel and the love I feel from my Heavenly Father as I live it prove to me over and over again of it's truth. It is about time I let you all know that too.