Kerfuffled!

Something is not quite right this week. Can you tell? My schedule is all shuffled and I have not gotten into a groove yet. I fear it may be a few weeks before the groove appears. I hope my groove comes back at all.

I spent four hours at the hospital yesterday for what should have been a second mammogram. It was that, plus a little more. I ended up with curious spots in the original mammogram a few week ago and they had me back in to do another.

Yesterday the radiology department was hopping with crazy people who also were very demanding and high maintenance. They were driving me nuts, and I was just visiting! I can't imagine what the office gals were thinking.

I finally got in to the mammogram again and they did four more different angles then she ran back to have the radiologist read the film. I waited. And waited.

When she came back in, the radiology tech told me the radiologist working today was very good and very careful. He would like me to have an ultrasound on the left breast. He was seeing some inconsistencies.

Why not just tell me that I have cancer right out? Then you can go back later and say, "Boy, I guess it wasn't. Aren't you glad for that?" I was already thinking cancer before they even got me to the ultrasound.

In the ultrasound I got the left boob gooed and examined a few times by the ultrasound tech, who then asked her supervisor to come in an take a look, who then (after a couple times) left me literally hanging there to check the films with the radiologist.

By now, the details on my funeral arrangements were made in my head and I had a summer chemo schedules brewing so the kids could still swim and play soccer.

Finally the pair of radiology techs came in and told me that the dense tissue I have is just that: dense tissue. The doctor looking at it wanted to be very sure that all was well, and apparently it was. They sent me home and all I was missing was four hours of my day.

I was exhausted by the possibilities and the worst case scenarios that played in my head yesterday. I was embarrassed for the people who were so obnoxious to the office ladies. I was a little sorry the office ladies have to deal with cranky people every day. But really, a hospital testing lab--especially one that does mammos, ultrasounds, CAT scans and MRIs--is probably not the low stress office you might hope for when you are looking for a job. People are stressed when they come in. As a staff member, you ought to expect that.

So, today I venture forth again, with that semiannual experience over and done with. I still feel like I am dragging, but at least it is my energy level and not my boobage.