I have a pouty face tonight. I am being stubborn and I having a bad attitude.
In July I will go on the Stake Trek. Up until now, I have facing the fact that I will go--it is part of my job--but I haven't liked the idea. I enjoy a very cushy life. I like the cushy life. The Girl gets to go and I have talked myself into her needing this experience without her mom there. I will go but I wasn't going to like it.
The Lord told me otherwise today.
Oh, I am going, He reassured me of that. But tonight I heard Him telling me that there is more to this trek than me just going to fulfill my calling at the moment. He has something in mind that I will experience on this trek that will shape me for something else He has in mind for me down the road. I don't know exactly what the "what else" might be. Therein is the problem.
As a planning type personality I like to set an agenda for my life. I like to know what is coming so I can be prepared for it. I generally prepare for the worst case scenario, and find myself pleasantly surprised that it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.
The Lord, in my experience, doesn't work like that.
There is something coming that will be difficult for me to do. He knows this about me. He will shape me and mold me to be able to do whatever it is He has in mind. I don't want to be molded or shaped. I don't want to be stretched. I am comfortable now. I am afraid of what is coming for which He is working me out. I don't like these kind of surprises.
Sadly for me, He doesn't take my answers of "I'd rather not, thankyouverymuch." He knows I will do it, but I won't be happy about it. Makes me want to pout. It makes me pout. I am pouting even now.
Still doesn't change the fact that I will be in Wyoming on July. On a trek. In a pioneer outfit. Pulling a handcart. Dangit.
2 comments:
Hey, in my opinion, a "pioneer" outfit can be a long, comfy skirt and a "Shades" shirt! Glad it's you and not me, sister!
Maybe, just maybe you are going on the trek because you have attitude... :)
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